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Spoon's Facial Hair Telethon


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Guest Agent of Oblivion
Posted

Kotzenjunge should really grow some sideburns. What does everyone else think?

 

Please describe your ideal scruffle, both style and quantity, for everyone's favorite Pee Wee Herman impersonator.

 

I'm thinking thick porkchop sideburns, with a gay pencil nib goatee.

Guest Agent of Oblivion
Posted

Thankfully, the combination of my thick masculine goatee, and your flimsy girl wrist completely nullified any theoretical impact that punch could have had.

 

That would've killed poor Kotzenjunge, though.

Guest T®ITEC
Posted

Lash LeRoux's sideburns. Those things were hot.

Guest Agent of Oblivion
Posted

Ambrose%20E.%20Burnside.jpg

 

Can't get you out of my head...

Guest Agent of Oblivion
Posted

See, he should grow the sides out more, and get that bushy irish manly edge he needs, even if he's not irish. His name's Patrick though, so he could lie and get away with it. He can still keep the artsy fop look with the little beret-complimenting nib goatee, but the interim scrag in the subcheek neck quarters has to go.

Posted

Gotta rock the side burns. I do- but my hair is so blonde that nobody can notice until they get out of hand.

 

Facial hair is where it's at. If my many chins wouldn't make it look assinine, I'd rock the pimp micro beard.

Posted

I got tired of trimming the Lincoln beard, so I got rid of it.

 

I've gone with the safe choice of some moderate sideburns, which will reach down to where my earlobes meet the sides of my face. I'm reminded why I always failed when I tried this before, that being that the right sideburn is coming in as wide as the hair above it, but not very thickly. On the left, it comes in nice and thick, but the sideburn isn't as wide as the right.

 

My facial hair can't even grow properly.

 

EDIT: one also has to consider how this stuff would look with my various hats (fedora, the usual Tennessee/Green Bay cap, and the "military dictator beret").

Posted
I've gone with the safe choice of some moderate sideburns, which will reach down to where my earlobes meet the sides of my face. I'm reminded why I always failed when I tried this before, that being that the right sideburn is coming in as wide as the hair above it, but not very thickly. On the left, it comes in nice and thick, but the sideburn isn't as wide as the right.

I have the same problem. Stupid hair. I'm trying to grow mine out- which is pretty much an exercise in not getting drunk and shaving it off like I usually do.

Posted
Well, the idea is to tweak the image for relationship-encouraging purposes, and since I discourage girls from calling me "Spoon," that wouldn't be the best to do.

Well...you could try something deep and meaningful. Like cut "Exist" in your beard, and when women ask what it means, tell them that with out love, you don't really live, you only exist...and you want to live...

 

 

Yes...I'm saying take the Mole route.

 

 

...

 

 

actually...that was kinda hot.

 

*remembers that one*

Posted
Yup, everyone's just dying to have me out of the picture, they're so jealous.

 

Kotzenjunge.jpg

That's my basic appearance for the last four months or so.

Maybe the ladies think you are a Jehovas Witness.

Posted
Yup, everyone's just dying to have me out of the picture, they're so jealous.

 

Kotzenjunge.jpg

That's my basic appearance for the last four months or so.

The hair is not the problem.

 

There's a strong correlation between wearing hats like that and not getting any. I have personal experience with this. Chick's just don't appreciate a good goofy hat.

Posted
Yup, everyone's just dying to have me out of the picture, they're so jealous.

 

Kotzenjunge.jpg

That's my basic appearance for the last four months or so.

You make Popick look like the Ladies' Man, and Barron look like Frankie Muniz now (who gets to mack Hilary Duff).

Posted
Kotzenjunge.jpg

That's my basic appearance for the last four months or so.

Do you suppose

That waiting hands on eyes

Veronica has gone to hide

And all the time she laughs at those

Who shout her name

And steal her clothes

Veronica

Veronica

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