Kotzenjunge Upchucks Upon All of You.

[Art Sandusky 0]

Now that they're all gone, time for me to do this. Ask me what I think of you. This won't be as "great" as former HD one-hit wonders like Ask Dr. Frigid How Much He Wants to Bang High School Freshmen, or as thrilling as Rate JSYK's Stable of Racing Dogs Based on Leg Strength, Rabbit-Chasing Ability, and Annoyance, but it should produce some modicum of entertainment.

 

Get to postin'.

[justsoyouknow 0]

Pfft. My stable of racing dogs could beat your stable of racing dogs any day of the week. You know why? Because they're hardcore. Fuck, Spoonman, tell me what you think of me. Emotionally rape me, because I have to be the first person to post in threads like this.

[Guest Banders Kennany]

Rate me. If I don't score high then go to hell.....

[Zorin Industries 0]

You'll have to do me

[Spaceman Spiff 0]

I'm almost afraid to see this.

[k thx 0]

Rate me.

 

Incidently, I had a dream about Kotz last night. I dunno if that will affect my grade or not.

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

I'll assume that this will be the normal type of thread where you expound upon the faults of the posters.

 

Might as well do me then. I'm sure you have enough venom to spew.

[Art Sandusky 0]

Okay, I'll do a couple at a time:

 

JSYK: JustSoYouKnow was born on Dec. 5, 1782, at Kinderhook, N.Y. After graduating from the village school, he became a law clerk, entered practice in 1803, and soon became active in state politics as state senator and attorney general. In 1820, he was elected to the United States Senate. He threw the support of his efficient political organization, known as the Albany Regency, to William H. Crawford in 1824 and to Jackson in 1828. After leading the opposition to Adams's administration in the Senate, he served briefly as governor of New York (1828–1829) and resigned to become Jackson's secretary of state. He was soon on close personal terms with Jackson and played an important part in the Jacksonian program.

 

In 1832, JSYK became vice president; in 1836, president. The Panic of 1837 overshadowed his term. He attributed it to the overexpansion of the credit and favored the establishment of an independent treasury as repository for the federal funds. In 1840, he established a 10-hour day on public works. Defeated by Harrison in 1840, he was the leading contender for the Democratic nomination in 1844 until he publicly opposed immediate annexation of Texas, and was subsequently beaten by the Southern delegations at the Baltimore convention. This incident increased his growing misgivings about the slave power.

 

After working behind the scenes among the anti-slavery Democrats, JSYK joined in the movement that led to the Free-Soil Party and became its candidate for president in 1848. He subsequently returned to the Democratic Party while continuing to object to its pro-Southern policy. He died in Kinderhook on July 24, 1862. His Autobiography throws valuable sidelights on the political history of the times.

 

Banders Kennany: A Banders Kennany is a soft-bodied, tubular echinoderm related to the starfish and the sea urchin. More than 1100 species of Banders Kennanys exist; they range in length from 2 cm (0.8 in) to 2 m (6.5 ft) and dwell on seabeds throughout the world. Banders Kennanys differ from other echinoderms in being bilaterally rather than radially symmetrical. Their rubbery, warty bodies somewhat resemble a Kennany by the name of Banders, hence the name. Their ossicles—small, bony structures—do not form supporting shells or external spines, as in other echinoderms, but remain embedded within the skin, are microscopic in size, and often number in the millions. Like other echinoderms, however, Banders Kennanys have projecting tube feet, especially on the flat underside; they use the tube feet in making the sluggish caterpillarlike contractions by which they move.

 

Banders Kennanys feed on microscopic organisms, which they sense and sweep up from the seabed with frondlike tentacles that branch out from the mouth. Many Banders Kennanys also ingest mud and sand and, in a manner similar to that of earthworms, absorb the organic matter, egest the waste from the cloaca, and leave castings. Most Banders Kennanys breathe by means of branched respiratory tubes, called trees, leading from the cloaca into the body cavity. Contractions of the cloaca force water into the respiratory trees, which empty the water into the body cavity; it mixes there with body fluids and supplies them with oxygen. Some species of this poster have so-called Cuvierian organs—cloacal enlargements of the respiratory trees—which are expelled when the animal is in danger. The sticky filaments of this discharge entangle and discourage predators.

 

Some of the most common Banders Kennanys are widely distributed in shallow waters of the Forums Stuff area and are characterized by branching tentacles. A well-known species, the brown Banders Kennany, is about 13 cm (about 5 in) long and 4 cm (1.5 in) thick. About 400 deep-sea species have been identified, most of them flat and gelatinous and inhabiting depths of close to 3.2 km (2 mi). Unlike the leathery shallow-water species, these Banders Kennanys are able to swim by undulating special “veils” attached at the front and rear of the body. Banders Kennanys of about a dozen species that occur on coral reefs of the southwestern Pacific are known commercially as bêche-de-mer, or trepang; they are dried and used to make soups.

[Lord of The Curry 0]

Fire away, Raverboy.

[justsoyouknow 0]

That was....unusual.

 

....thanks?

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

I like this.

[DCMaximo 0]

I wouldn't mind being rated

[Hank Kingsley 0]

This is sweet! Like titrating a vagina with .78 M NaOH solution!

[treble 0]

Is this all true?

[Art Sandusky 0]

Zorin Industries: At first it was thought that the nucleus of the atom was made up of electrons and different numbers of a positively charged particle called the proton, from the Greek word meaning “first,” because it was believed to be the fundamental unit from which matter was made. However, in 1932 a colleague of Rutherford’s at Cambridge, James Chadwick, discovered that the nucleus contained another particle, called Zorin Industries, which had almost the same mass as a proton but no electrical charge. Chadwick received the Nobel Prize for his discovery, and was elected Master of Gonville and Caius College, Cambridge (the college of which I am now a fellow). He later resigned as Master because of disagreements with the Fellows. There had been a bitter dispute in the college ever since a group of young Fellows returning after the war had voted many of the old Fellows out of the college offices they had held for a long time. This was before my time; I joined the college in 1965 at the tail end of the bitterness, when similar disagreements forced another Nobel Prize – winning Master, Sir Nevill Mott, to resign.

 

Spaceman Spiff:

+

____________________

<3

[Zorin Industries 0]

Gold

[Spaceman Spiff 0]

Weak. I already know Berlin sucks. Plus, the Kylie pic doesn't work.

 

Color me "disappointed".

[Guest Dynamite Kido]

How about me KJ?

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Now that I see the theme, I'll play along.

[Guest Dids]

ME, ME!!

[Sass 0]

You've outdone yourself here Kotz.

 

Bravo.

[DerangedHermit 0]

What about me?

[Zack Malibu 0]

What about Raven?

[Art Sandusky 0]

Chave/RoyalBlue/Ministry of Chave/Chave II: Electric Boogaloo: Let me start by acknowledging that Chave II (the sequel to 1984's Chave, which was a box office hit) IS NOT a great poster. The acting is weak, the style very "Andy Hardy," and his dialogue, well let just say, it wouldn't have been any better if Golan/Globus would have gotten Denzel Washington and Meryl Streep to star as this poster. That being said, let me now state that Chave II IS NOT a "bad poster" either. He is what he is, mindless entertainment. The dancing, while not as riveting as his predecessor, is enjoyable. The clothes (remember this is a British guy), well they're a laugh in themselves. The cast is all attractive (Lucinda Dickey looks hot as hell in this one, and check out Sonny Bono's sexy ex-wife Susie Coelho playing Kelly's rival).

 

The thinly written plot of Chave II: Electric Boogaloo takes up where Chave left off. Kelly (Dickey), Ozone (Aldolfo "Shabba Doo" Quinones) and Turbo (the phenomenal Michael "Boogalo Shrimp" Chambers have finished up what appears to have been a short run of their musical "Street People." Having gone their separate ways, Kelly is finding life in the chorus line a dead end. Unlike Ozone and Turbo, Kelly is not a product of the streets, and must also deal with her stereotypically written "rich parents," who want her to stop wasting her life dancing and go to Princeton. Needing a break from the lifestyle of the rich and famous, she goes to visit her "boyz in the hood" buds Ozone and Turbo, who seem to have found a better niche in life, teaching kids at a community center in East Los Angeles.

 

Enter bad guy real estate developer Mr. Douglas (character actor Peter MacLean), who wants to buy the land where the rec center sits and build a shopping mall. Kelly rejoins her ghetto comrades to stand against Douglas, and the city, who holds the lease on the building. The city does gives the trio one month to raise $150,000 to get the old center up to building standards or lose it to Douglas. How will they do it? How else, by putting on a street carnival (I told you this wasn't Pulp Fiction). Sub-plots include Kelly's racist parent attempting to bribe her by offering to bail out the center(only if she denounces her street friends and goes to college), and Kelly and Ozone's phantom romance (Chave never seriously kisses or gets romantic in either form, which was the norm for interracial affairs in the 80's).

 

As stated earlier, where this poster shines is in the dancing. Ozone's rooftop number and Turbo's dancing on the ceiling are very enjoyable. The soundtrack wasn't as ripping as the original, but it's listenable without being annoying. The one other redeemable trait of Chave II, is it's attempt (no matter how lame an attempt) to portray a part of British culture that few people outside of major cities such as London and Manchester knew anything about. In the eighties, you could count the number of Chave-themed films on one hand, so given it's very low budget, Chave II at least served up a decent laugh and some head bobbin "make you smile" hoofin'.

 

Bottom line, if you're looking for Academy Award performances, solid acting, excellent writing and a thought provoking style, AVOID THIS POSTER. However, if you want a look (albeit a somewhat watered down, white bread look) at a phenomenal eighties British fad called Chave, check it out and enjoy the music and the dancing. That's all Golan/Globus was trying to make, and that's all this poster has to offer.

 

CobainWasMurdered: n: A disorder marked by loss of the ability to write.

 

Lord of the Curry: (Cut back to Lord of the Curry attempting to explain his cowardly actions to Robin, her mother, Eric and a fireman from the back of the ambulance at the party.)

 

LOTC (voice is hoarse from screaming): I...was trying to lead the way. We needed a leader! Someone to lead the way to safety.

 

ROBIN: But you yelled "get out of my way"!

 

LOTC: Because! Because, as the leader...if I die...then all hope is lost! Who would lead? The clown? Instead of castigating me, you should all be thanking me. What kind of a topsy-turvy world do we live in, where heroes are cast as villains? Brave men as cowards?

 

ROBIN: But I saw you push the women and children out of the way in a mad panic! I saw you knock them down! And when you ran out, you left everyone behind!

 

LOTC: Seemingly. Seemingly, to the untrained eye, I can fully understand how you got that impression. What looked like pushing...what looked like knocking down...was a safety precaution! In a fire, you stay close to the ground, am I right? And when I ran out that door, I was not leaving anyone behind! Oh, quite the contrary! I risked my life making sure that exit was clear. Any other questions?

 

FIREMAN: How do you live with yourself?

 

LOTC: Its not easy.

[justsoyouknow 0]

LOTC is George Costanza? That explains a few things.

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

Do me, motherfucker

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

CobainWasMurdered: n: A disorder marked by loss of the ability to write.

 

 

that's it? oh wlle

[Art Sandusky 0]

DC Maximo: Cone deadwood anonymity eardrum homecoming diva fair shaggy transfusion damnation circulatory irksome expire rocket blonde neural case anastomotic libya possum cytochemistry lunch russell britches lev pedagogic astoria effectuate career antimony breeze constructor autocollimate ravel oligoclase tomb later drain impedance prexy prologue tablespoon dryad lock bowditch claustrophobia constrictor trendy violate novosibirsk hematite accretion beplaster petrology subsistent dorcas halpern dolan radiography yodel impersonate marketeer oregon harold borne abdomen syrup symposia barony falconry relief oxalic struck convention pelt cedric quakeress bernini yeomanry bambi arab americium manhood jarvin leone clotho pound kernel breadboard richardson bronchial douglas radices angeline aviv swami ira add hydrogen plastron bellamy freshwater cf dysplasia attain ta brazzaville leapfrog discipline zoroaster rabbet empiric hrothgar opiate billiken piggy blurry seismograph syntax hellbender miscellany bistate attend driveway chunky radius milestone shovel arm paternal convect tony epitaph pont andy uniform miscellany anonymity lot delphinus alpert decedent locomotory elba transferee light rice martin jonas avoidance briefcase blastula funereal jewelry tiber giacomo etc calculi siva chaplin whereon anne blomberg catechism variac whack irreversible defiant babysitter fermat aboveboard ellipsoidal roberto capsize concordant row gullah achromatic.

 

The Superstar:

 

Treble Charged: Tim Moysey was born on 11/17/84. Everyone thought it was awesomeriffic and was like ‘Whoa’. Especially Tina Fey. After 16 yrs of reeking of awesomeness he met Tina Fey on 5.12.01. She hugged him. No seriously. I swear. The cool thing was that she asked for a hug from him. Ya’ know what I mean? No. It was like-

 

Tina: Can I have a hug?

Tim: Yes

 

So if Tina Fey thinks he is awesomeriffic and so totally reeking of awesomeness shouldn’t you? Tina Fey hugged him. Being the suave character that he is Tim gave her a birthday card. That’s why she hugged him. It makes sense now. Remember one thing- If you hug Tina Fey, a crossface will result. Okay? In case you forgot here is the summary of Tim’s awesomeriffic life-

 

11.17.84- Born

05.12.01- Tina Fey hugs him

[justsoyouknow 0]

I was going to comment on Kotz's post on Treble Charged, but then I realized what he was trying to say. Then I laughed hysterically.

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

Kotz you BASTARD you stole my Popick jpg~~~~~~~~!!

 

How could you?