Impact *SPOILERS*

[Scroby 0]

I thought Impact was a good show today, only really two squshes in The Monty Brown match and the Jeff Jarrett match with Sharkboy getting in a little offense. The show had some good wrestling matches and was able to set up the PPV with Jeff Hardy vs Brown (in which case Hardy sold the pounce like he just got hit by a car.) and the Sabu vs Raven feud to continue, plus Abyss getting the cold shoulder by Goldylocks (horrible manager, get her off tv) makes me wonder if Abyss will break away this thursday and join a team with Sharkboy and D-ray. You know, the whole Sharkboy and D-ray convince Abyss that Goldylocks doesn't need him or doesn't want him and is just using him kinda angle. Plus hey JJ, Raven, Hardy, Sabu all the same show, almost all wrestling? This is how Impact should be every week.

[TheBigSwigg 0]

Ok, now that I've seen the whole thing, here's some thoughts:

 

1) I can't EVER hear the intro music because their audio mix is terrible and Tenay won't shut the fuck up. This is a problem because I can't tell who's coming out until they're out. Not as much of a problem for the live crowd, but when I need to piss, I'd rather not wait to see Jobber X take on Monty Brown. Which reminds me, DON'T BRING JOBBERS OUT TO MUSIC. It confuses new fans. Do like WWE, and have them waiting in the ring while YOUR STARS come out to music.

 

2) They need to give up on the Pyro, it looks like the pansy-ass fireworks you buy for little kids to shut them up.

 

3) Team Mexico should be renamed Team Send Us Back to Mexico. If I have to watch Aguila and Abismo Negro in "Night of the blown spots" instead of maybe seeing Hector Garza, who was fairly good, then I'm really pissed off.

 

4) Why is there no TNA logo ANYWHERE in the "Impact Zone?" Wouldn't you kind of want that? You know, brand awareness isn't a bad thing. My cousin didn't know it was Total Nonstop Action Wrestling Impact. He's 10 and he swears it's Impact Wrestling. Not TNA, just IMPACT wrestling.

 

-The matches were ok, but nothing really worthwhile. I was pissed off that there were THREE FUCKING SQUASHES. THIS IS NOT XPLOSION!!!!

 

How I would have booked it:

 

Recap the PPV, and open the show

 

FIRST MATCH: XXX d. Team Canada(Bobby Rude and Petey Williams)

-I know, Team Canada(TC) is on every week. There's a reason I chose them. At the moment, Christopher Daniels and Elix Skipper are considered X-Division, and no matter what we say marks will always see this as a cruiserweight division.

Have Tenay pimp the tag title match Wednesday night, and the fact that AMW is taking on Team Canada. Mention that both the teams involved in the Cage match aren't at Impact because they're recovering.

In the match, have Skipper and Williams start off, and then bring in Bobby Rude. Bobby Rude is the "powerhouse" of Team Canada. Emphasize that his size and power gives him an advantage over teams they've fought in the past. Have him demonstrate said power on Skipper. Then bring in Daniels. Other than putting over both teams, the secondary purpose of this match is to emphasize that Daniels has Heavyweight possibilities. Have him and Rude go back and forth with power moves, and eventually have Coach D'Amore try to cheat, and Primetime catch him in the act. Thus Canada loses their "edge" that's given them victory before.

Allow TC to get some near falls, showing that they have the ability to win without D'Amore's interference. Eventually give the win to XXX, though. However you see fit.

 

BRIEF SEGMENT: Sonjay speaks for Sabu, welcoming Raven back. "Long time no see" type of promo, in which Sonjay says that Sabu thinks Raven is afraid of him. Is Raven afraid of Sabu??? Raven who held the ECW title? Raven who delivered the "Chairshot heard around the world?" Raven, who went toe to toe with the Sandman surrounded by Barbed Wire? No, Raven's not scared, because he's not Raven anymore. He's just a man who won't give up the fact that he's washed up and worthless.......

 

Second Match: Kazarian d. Jerelle Clark

-Since Clark was there, we'll use him. The match should be about Kazarian. Put over his high flying ability, how he claims to be the "future." Don't squash Clark, but allow him to work. Let Kazarian always be one step ahead of him, though. This shows how skilled and "experienced" that Kazarian is. Make him look good for Ultimate X. Afterwards, have Shane AND Styles come out onto the entranceway. THREE WAY STAREDOWN!!!!

 

BRIEF SEGMENT: AMW are backstage, and they have nothing but praise for The Naturals. The Naturals went the distance in the cage, and AMW want to thank them for pushing AMW to the limits. But Team Canada, what you did was despicable. TC ruined what could've been the match of the year, and the match of a lifetime for AMW AND The Naturals. For that, TC will pay Wednesday night.

 

THIRD MATCH: Alex Shelley d. Shark Boy

-Ok, it's not quite the best, but bill it as a "Preview" of what's coming up Wednesday night. This shows that Shark Boy can keep up with Shelley, and allows us to see how the two work together. Have Goldilocks at ringside fawning over Shelley, and D-Ray cheering on SharkBoy. Show Abyss sitting backstage watching the match. Shelley goes over cleanly after Goldilocks gets D-Ray's attention, and thus Sharkboy's.

 

BRIEF SEGMENT: Interview with Shelley and Goldilocks. Have Goldilocks put Shelley over. Douglas asks Goldilocks about Abyss, and she tells us that she told Abyss to stay backstage, because her Baby Bear could handle SharkBoy by himself. SEEDS OF DISSENT!!!!!

 

FOURTH MATCH: Monty Brown d. Raven.

-The reason I say Monty vs. Raven is this: MONTY NEEDS NOT TO SQUASH PEOPLE. Monty could use a little bit of seasoning, and I think Raven is a good teacher. Have the two brawling, as that would be interesting, and have Raven's skill and experience getting him the upperhand. Let the two use their moveset, and let Raven make Monty Brown look good. Then have the classic TNA surprise move. That's right, have the lights go out. Not really, but that's what they would do. Have Sabu show up. Whether on the entranceway, or have the lights come out and he shows up in the ring. Whatever happens, it catches Raven's attention long enough for Brown to get the POOOOOOOOOOOUNCE~! and the win.

I know, I know, I'm jobbing Raven to the Alpha Male. But think about it. Brown gets a clean pin on Raven. That's some credibility. It also builds up my storyline of Raven being "afraid" of Sabu. It helps Monty Brown look good going into Wednesday night, and builds tension for Raven-Sabu.

 

BRIEF SEGMENT: D-Ray is backstage, and he's trying to pump up former Referee Mike Posey for his match Wednesday night. He reminds Posey that just because David Young has lost 86 straight matches that it doesn't mean he's going to be an easy win, especially for a former referee. Allow some light humor. Seriously, this is about all you can do for this shitty angle.

 

FINAL MATCH: Jeff Hardy d. Johnny Swinger

-Other than being a reason to see Johnny Swinger play with his coconut bra, this should help debut Jeff Hardy, and hopefully make him look good for Wednesday night. Have Swinger worried about his coconut bra, have Gilbertti at Ringside trying to cheat, and Hardy still pulling ahead. Have Hardy get the win, and then let Jarrett come out. Have Hardy and Jarrett talk smack, before Brown comes out. Let Jarrett get the shiznit knocked out of him by both men. This would include a Pounce and a Swanton Bomb. THEN let Brown turn on Hardy when Hardy forgets that they're not friends.

 

THAT IS MY IMPACT, BIOTCHES!! FEAR MY FANTASY BOOKING OF SORTS!!!!

[Vyce 0]

After watching it last night, the squashes pissed me off to no end.

 

What pissed me off most was probably that the 8 man tag lasted all of maybe 4 minutes.

 

Seriously, TNA, you could have fucking cut out AT LEAST two of the squashes and had the 8-man go for the full ten minutes, or damn near close to it. You can't tell anything close to a decent story in an 8-man tag with only FOUR minutes.

[Exslade ZX 0]

FOURTH MATCH: Monty Brown d. Raven.

-The reason I say Monty vs. Raven is this: MONTY NEEDS NOT TO SQUASH PEOPLE. Monty could use a little bit of seasoning, and I think Raven is a good teacher. Have the two brawling, as that would be interesting, and have Raven's skill and experience getting him the upperhand. Let the two use their moveset, and let Raven make Monty Brown look good. Then have the classic TNA surprise move. That's right, have the lights go out. Not really, but that's what they would do. Have Sabu show up. Whether on the entranceway, or have the lights come out and he shows up in the ring. Whatever happens, it catches Raven's attention long enough for Brown to get the POOOOOOOOOOOUNCE~! and the win.

The big problem with this is this isn't something TNA would give away on free tv. Hell this ISNT something they should give away on free tv. I could actually see these two in a real feud, that would eventually boil down to those two one on one at a PPV. Plus that only makes Raven look like less losing to Brown, unless it was with the interference of Sabu..but that still..maybe its cuz I'm not a Sabu fan or a fan of this feud but whatever.

 

Second problem is the fact that this..which seems more like a main event calibur match..coming on before Jeff Hardy vs SwingeR?? And I also don't think theyre gonna give away a Jeff Hardy match yet, on Impact, and he just signed...The whole point of what they did with him, was that 'Surprise Factor' you mentioned. They kept saying they didn't think he was in the building...they heard nothing of him..and that's "supposed" to keep you..mainly the markdom thinking that he wouldn't appear.

[TheBigSwigg 0]

The big problem with this is this isn't something TNA would give away on free tv. Hell this ISNT something they should give away on free tv. I could actually see these two in a real feud, that would eventually boil down to those two one on one at a PPV. Plus that only makes Raven look like less losing to Brown, unless it was with the interference of Sabu..but that still..maybe its cuz I'm not a Sabu fan or a fan of this feud but whatever.

My logic behind it is that Sabu WOULD cause the distraction that Monty needed to get the pounce. I know TNA won't just give this match away, but they should because it showcases who they have and what they can do. I'm not saying put this on every week, but a match of this caliber every once in a while is like the Ironman match or the Cage Match on Raw and Smackdown, it shows people what they COULD have if they ordered the PPV.

 

Second problem is the fact that this..which seems more like a main event calibur match..coming on before Jeff Hardy vs SwingeR?? And I also don't think theyre gonna give away a Jeff Hardy match yet, on Impact, and he just signed...The whole point of what they did with him, was that 'Surprise Factor' you mentioned. They kept saying they didn't think he was in the building...they heard nothing of him..and that's "supposed" to keep you..mainly the markdom thinking that he wouldn't appear.

 

I would agree that Raven vs. Brown is more ME caliber, but Jeff Hardy has been hyped like the second coming of Christ, and to put him on earlier lets the air out of the hype too quickly. They're trying to push him as the ME, and you don't want to feed him to Monty right now when they're going to meet Wednesday, so it's the only option. Emphasize that it's his IMPACT debut, and make people watch the whole show to see it.

[starvenger 0]

Team Canada though just rules.

Yes, they do, but Petey Williams "Canadian Destroyer" finisher looks both cool and incredibly fake at the same time. It's about as believable as Killings axe kick looking vicious.

 

 

Yeah, but a finisher is basically meant to just pop a crowd right? Well, that move pops a crowd even though it looks fake as hell.

 

Fake as hell sure, but damn awesome to see. I had to stop and rewind four times seeing that move for the first time. It's like "how the hell..." and that is exactly what you want for a finisher.

I hope you were talking about the Canadian Destroyer.

 

I do agree with you about popping the crowd, but I just wish there was some way to come up with a believable finisher with the same "WTF?" feeling as the Destroyer. I wonder if there's a way to do a MDK piledriver (which I suppose is simply a top rope Destroyer) safely?

[razazteca 0]

The lamest finisher in TNA has to be THE POUNCE~ its just a Shoulder Block!

[Guest Markingout]

The lamest finisher in TNA has to be THE POUNCE~ its just a Shoulder Block!

SHHH! The Pounce is the most devestating move in sports entertainment, today!

 

*Gives Razateca the POUNCE~!*

 

YOU JUST GOT POOOOOOOOOOOOOOUNNNNNNNCED..... Period.

 

 

Hurts, dosen't it?

[razazteca 0]

Wipes shoulder. What? Is that all you got? I got 99 problems and the POUNCE~ is not one of them.

[Guest Markingout]

You children and your crazy rhyming music..... I can't believe you just, no sold the most devastating move in the buisness.... THE POUNNNNNNNNNNCE~!!!..... PEROID

 

I am going to call for the REAL sports star turned wrestler EVAR... MIZARK HENRY... What happens if he AND Monty POUNCEEEEEEEEEEEEE you? Peroid.

[razazteca 0]

Since it is a double team move I would simply fall back and hit the ropes for a double lariat. OKAY