SmackDown! *SPOILERS* 07-29-04

[BifEverchad 0]

Since I don't see them here anywhere, I figured I'd take the bull by the horns...

 

 

Smackdown spoilers from Cincinnati

by Doug Stuerenberg

 

 

 

Dark match:

Hardcore Holly d. Carly Colon with the Alabama Slam. It was a decent length and not as bad as some Holly matches. Wonder if he's relegated to this due to his attitude problems?

 

Velocity:

WWE Champion John Bradshaw Layfield d. Shannon Moore in a squash with a big powerbomb. Layfield cut a promo before the match saying that had the Undertaker confronted him before Layfield had wrestled last week, he would've knocked out Taker with one punch instead of getting chokeslammed.

 

"The Reflection of Perfection" Mark Jindrak d. Scotty 2 Hotty by dropping down on S2H's sunset flip attempt. He held the ropes to get the pin.

 

Chavo Guerrero d. Funaki. Fastest-paced match to that point. Chavo raised Funaki up on his back a la the Razor's Edge, then dropped him straight backward onto Funaki's face. That got the win.

 

The F.B.I. d. the Bashams. One of the Bashams had Stamboli rolled up when Nunzio caught the Basham with a kick, and Stamboli reversed the rollup for the pin.

 

Smackdown:

 

Video recap of Kurt/Vince/Eddie from last week opens the show -- the same recap as was seen on the Smackdown rebound on RAW. Pyro hits and Booker T comes out with pyro.

 

Booker says he wants whoever the new GM is to honor Angle's word and award him the U.S. title. Kenzo Suzuki comes out and says he deserves it, with a geisha girl translating for him. Booker got in a funny line about wanting the GM, not the owner of a sushi bar. RVD came out, immediately followed by Renee Dupree, Luther Reigns, Billy Gunn, Charlie Haas, and finally John Cena to a massive pop. Cena says the fans know who should be the champ, and started an eight-man brawl. Vince McMahon came out and said only one man can decide who should be champ: The new General Manager ... Theodore R. Long! Long said one man deserves the title, and Booker interrupts to say thank you. Long said he didn't mean Booker and says Booker doesn't deserve a thing for hating on Smackdown all the time. He says there will be an eight-man elimination match for the title tonight.

 

Spike Dudley d. Rey Mysterio to win the WWE Cruiserweight title. Good match w/ no commercial break because it was relatively short. Finish came when D-Von ran out from the back to yell at the ref and Spike as Spike was in position for the 619. Bubba ran out from the crowd and tripped up Mysterio on the other side of the ring, and Spike hit the Acid Drop for the win. After figuring out his half-brothers had helped, he was angry and tried to apologize to Rey.

 

Recap of the JBL/Taker stuff from last week.

Teddy Long tells the divas they will not be underutilized anymore, then walks into his GM office, where he finds Kurt Angle. Angle said he was packing up but Luther already did it for him. Kurt makes comments about Teddy being the first black GM, and Long said that thinking is from 1985. He said Kurt will be in a match TONIGHT, but Kurt starts making excuses, finally settling on not having his wrestling gear. Long says he will be fined $1,000 for not being prepared for work, and Kurt will wrestle next week! "Get ta steppin'!" Long tells Kurt.

 

Paul London and Billy Kidman d. the Dudleys to retain the WWE Tag Team Championship. This appeared to have a commercial break, and it was a pretty good match. The finish came when Bubba tried to hit Kidman outside the ring with a chair, but Mysterio ran out from the crowd to get revenge, and he dropkicked the chair back into Bubba. D-Von was promptly pinned in the ring by London.

 

Ivory interviews Mick Foley at the Democratic National Convention.

Eddie Guerrero starts his lowrider going into commercial.

Hilarious SummerSlam commercial shows Batista doing a floor routine in a gymnastics competition.

 

Eddie comes out with something covered in the lowrider to a huge pop. He wants Kurt to meet him face-to-face, but Kurt won't do it, so Eddie tells the crew to unveil stuff in the lowrider: stolen items from Kurt's old GM office. He decides to auction them off on WWE.com. Kurt still doesn't budge. He says the false cast needs some lysol with it, the picture with Kurt and Heyman with a WWE championship belt should be used for a bathroom because it makes him want to go, and he'll get his cousin to put hydraulics on Kurt's wheelchair. Eddie draws a mustache and an "I suck" saying on another Kurt picture, then finds the gold medals. He tries to auction them off to a Cincinnatian for $1, but Kurt finally comes out. He says if Eddie won't give back his stuff, he'll steal the lowrider. Eddie says don't do it because there's an anti-theft device. Kurt says "Nice try" but turns the key and gets powdered in the face! Eddie says the only thing that would make the night better !

is stealing Kurt's music, which plays. Huge "You Suck" chants as Kurt leaves. Entertaining and strong segment.

 

Next week: Kurt Angle in action, Spike/Rey vs. the Dudleys.

 

JBL commercial a la a politician's commercial airs recounting his playing football with a broken leg, going behind enemy lines to entertain troops, and being the Mexican, Korean, European and WWE Champion. So over-the-top that it works.

 

Booker T won the 8-man elimination match for the U.S. title. Eliminations as follows:

Charlie Haas eliminated by Billy Gunn's fameasser. Dupree eliminated by Luther Reigns' finisher. Cena comes in and gets into it with Luther. It spills outside and Kenzo Suzuki hits Cena with the belt from behind, getting DQed. Billy Gunn is next to go with the FU. Luther gets the FU soon after and is gone. The finish was splendid, as RVD caught Cena with the 5-star frog splash. Booker stole the pin and eliminated Cena and quickly caught RVD with a vicious scissors kick to win the match and the title. RVD's head was driven down hard and it looked convincing from my vantage point.

 

Booker celebrates on the ramp and leaves. End of show.

 

RVD and Cena shake hands and salute the fans while leaving the arena. That was it.

 

Biggest pops:

1. John Cena

2. Eddie Guerrero

3. Rob Van Dam

4. Rey Mysterio

 

Biggest heat:

1. Kurt Angle

2. John Bradshaw Layfield

3. Renee Dupree

 

No Undertaker was kind of disappointing, but otherwise it was an excellent show.

[Guest JMA]

No actual appearance by JBL? I might watch this show.

[Guest BurnToShine]

The WWE Champion's match was on Velocity.

 

That pretty much says it all, don't it, folks?

[what 0]

Sounds good. Smackdown finally seems to be getting its shit together.

[Guest Anglesault]

Eddie comes out with something covered in the lowrider to a huge pop. He wants Kurt to meet him face-to-face, but Kurt won't do it, so Eddie tells the crew to unveil stuff in the lowrider: stolen items from Kurt's old GM office. He decides to auction them off on WWE.com. Kurt still doesn't budge. He says the false cast needs some lysol with it, the picture with Kurt and Heyman with a WWE championship belt should be used for a bathroom because it makes him want to go, and he'll get his cousin to put hydraulics on Kurt's wheelchair. Eddie draws a mustache and an "I suck" saying on another Kurt picture, then finds the gold medals. He tries to auction them off to a Cincinnatian for $1, but Kurt finally comes out. He says if Eddie won't give back his stuff, he'll steal the lowrider. Eddie says don't do it because there's an anti-theft device. Kurt says "Nice try" but turns the key and gets powdered in the face! Eddie says the only thing that would make the night better !

is stealing Kurt's music, which plays. Huge "You Suck" chants as Kurt leaves. Entertaining and strong segment.

...

 

For some reason, I simply didn't see this coming. I figured that after the Mania feud they wouldn't go into the bad comedy.

 

Instead, they stuffed enough d-level comedy into one angle to cover this feud AND "make up" for the (good) Wrestlemania feud.

 

I was really seriously getting interested in the show again when they started hinting at an Eddie/Angle feud, but I can see there's nothing worth seeing in this feud.

 

Thank God for baseball on Thursdays

[Slickster 0]

Eddie comes out with something covered in the lowrider to a huge pop. He wants Kurt to meet him face-to-face, but Kurt won't do it, so Eddie tells the crew to unveil stuff in the lowrider: stolen items from Kurt's old GM office. He decides to auction them off on WWE.com. Kurt still doesn't budge. He says the false cast needs some lysol with it, the picture with Kurt and Heyman with a WWE championship belt should be used for a bathroom because it makes him want to go, and he'll get his cousin to put hydraulics on Kurt's wheelchair. Eddie draws a mustache and an "I suck" saying on another Kurt picture, then finds the gold medals. He tries to auction them off to a Cincinnatian for $1, but Kurt finally comes out. He says if Eddie won't give back his stuff, he'll steal the lowrider. Eddie says don't do it because there's an anti-theft device. Kurt says "Nice try" but turns the key and gets powdered in the face! Eddie says the only thing that would make the night better !

is stealing Kurt's music, which plays. Huge "You Suck" chants as Kurt leaves. Entertaining and strong segment.

...

 

For some reason, I simply didn't see this coming. I figured that after the Mania feud they wouldn't go into the bad comedy.

 

Instead, they stuffed enough d-level comedy into one angle to cover this feud AND "make up" for the (good) Wrestlemania feud.

 

I was really seriously getting interested in the show again when they started hinting at an Eddie/Angle feud, but I can see there's nothing worth seeing in this feud.

 

Thank God for baseball on Thursdays

Face it, AS, Kurt plays the comic foil very well and Eddie is a great talent when it comes to comedy segments. This is called 'playing to people's strengths.'

[AndrewTS 0]

The WWE Champion's match was on Velocity.

 

That pretty much says it all, don't it, folks?

Eh...it isn't that bad:

 

"Biggest heat:

2. John Bradshaw Layfield"

 

Hey, he's a bigger heel than Benoit is a face, and HHH wrestled on Heat before too, so I wouldn't read too much into it.

 

Why the **** is Spike the Cruiserweight Champion?!?!

[Aero 0]

I like how Velocity has main eventers, in this case the champion JBL, on it every so often, but is it necessary that every JBL match these days needs to be a squash? I might be wrong, but I think he's only had competitive matches, not really counting Spike, with Eddie since the JBL character started. WWE must actually realize his limited abilites.

 

I guess Teddy Long is a face GM? I like it better than the usual heel GM.

[Guest JMA]

The WWE Champion's match was on Velocity.

 

That pretty much says it all, don't it, folks?

Well, at least things are starting to go back to normal. Bradshaw being put back on Velocity makes me think Undertaker is winning the belt at SummerSlam.

[Guest Anglesault]

Eddie comes out with something covered in the lowrider to a huge pop. He wants Kurt to meet him face-to-face, but Kurt won't do it, so Eddie tells the crew to unveil stuff in the lowrider: stolen items from Kurt's old GM office. He decides to auction them off on WWE.com. Kurt still doesn't budge. He says the false cast needs some lysol with it, the picture with Kurt and Heyman with a WWE championship belt should be used for a bathroom because it makes him want to go, and he'll get his cousin to put hydraulics on Kurt's wheelchair. Eddie draws a mustache and an "I suck" saying on another Kurt picture, then finds the gold medals. He tries to auction them off to a Cincinnatian for $1, but Kurt finally comes out. He says if Eddie won't give back his stuff, he'll steal the lowrider. Eddie says don't do it because there's an anti-theft device. Kurt says "Nice try" but turns the key and gets powdered in the face! Eddie says the only thing that would make the night better !

is stealing Kurt's music, which plays. Huge "You Suck" chants as Kurt leaves. Entertaining and strong segment.

...

 

For some reason, I simply didn't see this coming. I figured that after the Mania feud they wouldn't go into the bad comedy.

 

Instead, they stuffed enough d-level comedy into one angle to cover this feud AND "make up" for the (good) Wrestlemania feud.

 

I was really seriously getting interested in the show again when they started hinting at an Eddie/Angle feud, but I can see there's nothing worth seeing in this feud.

 

Thank God for baseball on Thursdays

Face it, AS, Kurt plays the comic foil very well and Eddie is a great talent when it comes to comedy segments. This is called 'playing to people's strengths.'

Then what was the awesome mania feud?

 

I don't understand why what should be a real hate filled feud has to be *funny*. It totally kills the hate in the feud. I can't believe that Eddie really gives a damn about Kurt repeatedly costing him the title, because when he has an opportunity to, you know, DO something to him he throws powder in his face? FEEL THE HATE!

[Guest TigerDriver91]

Spike frickin' Dudley is the cruiserweight champion?

[AndrewTS 0]

I agree with AS. The Mania feud ruled even if the match was kinda weak. Why they decided to go back to stupid comedy I have no idea.

[what 0]

Spike frickin' Dudley is the cruiserweight champion?

Hey, Spike's better than Jacqueline.

[Guest Anglesault]

I agree with AS. The Mania feud ruled even if the match was kinda weak. Why they decided to go back to stupid comedy I have no idea.

It just blows my mind sometimes. They had a tailor made feud with some real emotion in it, and they felt they needed to shoehorn some bad comedy in and kill it. Eddie doesn't even seem to care anymore.

 

One step forward, two steps back.

[Epic Reine 0]

Me expecting Dudleyz [D-Von/Bubba/Spike] vs. Kidman/London/Rey.

 

And, [unfortunatly] I could forsee WWE making Kidman/London/Rey into a new age Filthy Animals.

[CanadianChick 0]

This is stupid. I can't believe JBL isn't actually on Smackdown. I don't like the guy, but he's the champion. He should be on the main show. I don't mind he's on Velocity, but if he is, he should also be on Smackdown, and so should Taker.

 

Either than that, the show looks good. Anyone find it weird that RVD and Booker were the final two instead of Cena in there? Three way dance maybe? Who knows.

[Guest Anglesault]

And, [unfortunatly] I could forsee WWE making Kidman/London/Rey into a new age Filthy Animals.

Do Kidman and London have personalities that they like keep hidden?

[Guest Anglesault]

This is stupid. I can't believe JBL isn't actually on Smackdown. I don't like the guy, but he's the champion. He should be on the main show. I don't mind he's on Velocity,

The champion has no business on the jobber show. That's just horrible.

[AndrewTS 0]

And, [unfortunatly] I could forsee WWE making Kidman/London/Rey into a new age Filthy Animals.

Do Kidman and London have personalities that they like keep hidden?

Kidman: No.

 

London: Inconclusive.

 

It just blows my mind sometimes. They had a tailor made feud with some real emotion in it, and they felt they needed to shoehorn some bad comedy in and kill it. Eddie doesn't even seem to care anymore.

 

One step forward, two steps back.

 

"Give it a few weeks."

 

I wouldn't rule it out that they'll go a more serious route in a bit...but it was re-sparked by Angle inexplicably dressing up as El Gran...then geting unmasked...

 

So, not looking good so far.

 

At least Teddy Long, while being a face GM, is so far not really playing favorites too much.

[CanadianChick 0]

AS, why did you cut up my post? Being on the jobber show is fine, as long as he's on the main show to. It's always nice to bring up the show's credibility a bit, but not at the expense of the main show.

[Guest Anglesault]

but it was re-sparked by Angle inexplicably dressing up as El Gran...then geting unmasked...

That wasn't so terrible. It wasn't really supposed to be funny.

[Guest TheZsaszHorsemen]

AS you haven't seen it yet, quit your bitching.

[Vyce 0]

No actual appearance by JBL? I might watch this show.

No actual appearance by Undertaker? I may watch this show as well.

[AndrewTS 0]

but it was re-sparked by Angle inexplicably dressing up as El Gran...then geting unmasked...

That wasn't so terrible. It wasn't really supposed to be funny.

Just really obvious and illogical.

[Guest Anglesault]

AS, why did you cut up my post? Being on the jobber show is fine, as long as he's on the main show to.

I cut it up because, as you probably know by now, I think sticking the main eventers on the jobber show under any circumstance is stupid.

 

And this "it brings the interest up" idea is bull. No one cared when Angle was on Velocity, ditto RVD and Eddie and Benoit and whatever big name they've put on that show. It is what it is, and putting important people on a show that has been established to the fans as a show for losers and nobodies just makes the big names look bad.

[Guest Anglesault]

AS you haven't seen it yet, quit your bitching.

I'm sure powder in the face will come off much better on TV.

 

I'm just asking why they had to change the winning Mania formula.

[BorneAgain 0]

Either than that, the show looks good. Anyone find it weird that RVD and Booker were the final two instead of Cena in there? Three way dance maybe? Who knows.

Possibly to set up for a RVD-Booker program post-Summerslam.

[UseTheSledgehammerUh 0]

Minutes taken up by The Raw World Champ and #1 Contender this Week: 30 by Orton, 65 by Benoit, plus a DVD commercial.

 

Minutes taken up by the Smackdown World Champ and #1 Contender this Week: 0 combined.

 

Nice.

[Art Sandusky 0]

AS you haven't seen it yet, quit your bitching.

I'm sure powder in the face will come off much better on TV.

Here's your Official Anglesault Qualm For This Feud. Look forward to it being repeated ad nauseum.

 

This show looks strong, only good things can come from the head of the Playaz Club being the GM.

[Guest Dumb Fuck]

Anglesault is funny.