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Guest CronoT

The OAO RAW Thread for 8/2/04

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Guest Staravenger

Tracie needs a tit-job more than Stacy...I didn't think that was possible.

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Kane should just be a man and drug Lita and take her to a Las Vegas wedding Chappel.

I rather see Dave surprise Kane with a video package of the wedding with Elvis doing the wedding cermony.

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Guest Quik

Allright, I'm not gonna lie. I would totally toungue the redhead's ass if she asked me to.

 

Oh, wait. We're watching a wrestling show? Sorry. Didn't Creed break up? IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON, WWE! The remaining members of Creed did.

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Guest Staravenger

This REALLY wants me to just kick the screen of my television in...but I'm broke and can't afford a replacement.

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God..it's obvious Carmella knows she has it won...cuz she just doesn't care at all. I say get rid of her next week..piss off the fans or something...god

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Guest Staravenger
Ha Coach bagging on Carmella for being boring as crap.

Crap can be entertaining....she's as boring as Test.

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Guest JMA
I find it weird and very funny that the guy in the WCW shirt had a "Ian Rotten 4 Pres" sign. Why would a WCW fan like Ian Rotten?

He also had a "Necro Butcher" sign.

He (the fan) seems like a real wacko.

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I find it weird and very funny that the guy in the WCW shirt had a "Ian Rotten 4 Pres" sign. Why would a WCW fan like Ian Rotten?

He also had a "Necro Butcher" sign.

He (the fan) seems like a real wacko.

To wear a shirt that color, he'd have to be.

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Till Death Do Us Part looks awful, but the upside is I'm gonna see Benoit vs. Orton, DAVE(!) vs. Jericho vs. the other guy, and Kurt freakin' Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero. HHH vs. Eugene could be good as well. Throw in Flair vs. Regal and John Cena vs. Booker T and that is one badass card.

 

T-Minus 40 minutes until Schmo.

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I would mark out so hard if we saw vignettes after the match of Kane and Lita living at home. Kane sits in front of the TV, beer in one hand, his other hand down the front of his pants. He has a wifebeater on, slightly stained, and a beat up pair of Wrangler jeans. Lita comes in wearing a house dress with gloves and an apron on and starts bitching at Kane about the bills. Smell the ratings~!

Kane comes into the house after a hard day's work. With a briefcase in one hand, he pulls his hat off the other and sets it on a nearby coat hook. He slowly pulls off his suit jacket and hangs it over his hat. Walking into the living room, he sits Lita lounging on the couch with a large, silver box of Bon-Bons. Wearing a pair of pink, satin pajamas and gray fuzzy slippers, she stares at Kane with an expression of hostility.

 

KANE

Lita....what the hell are you doing? I thought you agreed you were going to try to get a job today.

 

LITA

I know, Kane.....but when I was getting ready, "Days of Our Lives" came on. I've been waiting months to see how Chris responds when he finds out his fiancee has been having sex on the side with his long-lost chihuahua brother.

 

KANE

Dammit, Lita. I thought when we quit WWE to raise our darling little girl that we could happily start a new life together. I.....wait, where is young Helga?

 

LITA

I don't know.....what the hell is with all the questions? Leave me alone.

 

Kane looks to the side, and sees his little daughter crawling towards a nearby electrical socket with her tongue wagging out.

 

KANE

*GASP*

 

Kane quickly scoops the baby up in his arms and stares back at Lita with a disappointed expression.

 

KANE

Our baby could have seriously gotten hurt! Lita, I don't think I like this change in you. What happened to the lovely, energetic woman I forced into a marriage with me? How did you turn into....THAT?! LOOK AT THIS FLOOR!! IT'S A MESS!! WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU PICKED UP A BROOM?!

 

LITA

YOU.....YOU BASTARD!! YOU DAMN BASTARD!!!

 

Lita runs out of the room in tears, hurling her box of candy halfway across the room.

 

KANE

Women.....you can't live with them, but you can't live without them. Isn't that right, Helga?

 

HELGA

Um....poop.

 

STUDIO AUDIENCE

Aw........*cue laugh*

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Allright, I'm not gonna lie. I would totally toungue the redhead's ass if she asked me to.

 

Oh, wait. We're watching a wrestling show? Sorry. Didn't Creed break up? IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON, WWE! The remaining members of Creed did.

"Altar Bridge" is the new name. And they still sound exactly the same.

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SAVE US BATISTA!

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