NYU 0 Report post Posted August 10, 2004 Something tells me Maury Povich is eventually going to have to interfere with this angle. Lita: Well, Maury, I've tried everyone else. Matt Hardy. Kane. Jeff Hardy. Jazz. The popcorn vendor. My hotel cleaning lady. The next door neighbor's cat. But I think I finally found the father. AND I KNOW IT'S YOU! THE BABY LOOKS JUST LIKE YOU, GOD DAMMIT! *The audience starts cheering wildly as the camera peels over to find Ahmed Johnson sitting in the next chair* Ahmed: YOU NO KNOW NOTHIN, LITA! DIS KID AIN'T MINE! *The crowd full of middle-aged housewives and ghettofied women start to loudly boo at Ahmed's ghastly accusations* Ahmed: I no care. If dis baby my boy, I take care of my kids. I gon be payin child support. But he ain't mine! I know he ain't mine! *The audience politely claps, then awaits the final verdict* Maury: Well, Lita, we've done the DNA test and here's the results. Ahmed Johnson......you are NOT the father! Ahmed: YEAH, BITCH! WHAT I SAY, HO?! *The audience gasps loudly as Lita runs backstage in tears. Maury chases her, clearly trying to milk this thing for all it's worth* ------------------------------------------------- It could be a new character every week to try to find Lita's father. Men. Women. Animals. Former WWE Superstars. D-Level Actors and Actresses. Inanimate Objects. And so on..... With Maury Povich hosting, it can't fail! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Staravenger Report post Posted August 10, 2004 Triple H holding down the Olympics! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
iliketurtles 0 Report post Posted August 10, 2004 . Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest JMA Report post Posted August 10, 2004 Why doesn't Kane just summon lightning to attack Matt? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Exslade ZX 0 Report post Posted August 10, 2004 Ok...yea. But whatever the SS commercials still rule. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mrnoitaull 0 Report post Posted August 10, 2004 Kane has taken some Enzyte it appears.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lil' Bitch 0 Report post Posted August 10, 2004 @ SummerSlam commercial with HHH Anyways, I prefer Happy Kane over Angry Kane myself. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Quik Report post Posted August 10, 2004 Hmm, Triple H provides the worst comercial of them all. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vyce 0 Report post Posted August 10, 2004 Man - HHH even goes over at the Olympics! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MarvinisaLunatic 0 Report post Posted August 10, 2004 LOL at the HHH Summerslam commercial. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DMann2003 0 Report post Posted August 10, 2004 HHH Water Spit puts out the Olympic flame...that's gold! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest TheZsaszHorsemen Report post Posted August 10, 2004 Kane didn't exactly fit the 'sperm' part into it..but he inferred it lmao. He was thinking it though. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest TheZsaszHorsemen Report post Posted August 10, 2004 Hmm, Triple H provides the worst comercial of them all. Booker's was far worse. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Quik Report post Posted August 10, 2004 So, I'm eating half a pound of prosciutto because it expires tomorrow while watching Raw. I'm really starting to wonder where my life is headed. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BorneAgain 0 Report post Posted August 10, 2004 Hmm, Triple H provides the worst comercial of them all. Booker's was far worse. What was his? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Fook Report post Posted August 10, 2004 So, I'm eating half a pound of prosciutto because it expires tomorrow while watching Raw. I'm really starting to wonder where my life is headed. The operating table? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Exslade ZX 0 Report post Posted August 10, 2004 So, I'm eating half a pound of prosciutto because it expires tomorrow while watching Raw. I'm really starting to wonder where my life is headed. Would I laugh if I knew what prosciutto was? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Staravenger Report post Posted August 10, 2004 So, I'm eating half a pound of prosciutto because it expires tomorrow while watching Raw. I'm really starting to wonder where my life is headed. I see you dipping your face into a toilet, gagging your lungs up in the near future. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slickster 0 Report post Posted August 10, 2004 Hmm, Triple H provides the worst comercial of them all. Booker's was far worse. What was his? He cut off a fencer's arm, I think. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lil' Bitch 0 Report post Posted August 10, 2004 I love ice cream too... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
iliketurtles 0 Report post Posted August 10, 2004 See, right now, Lesnar needs to fucking tackle Joy. REALLY. BAD. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vyce 0 Report post Posted August 10, 2004 This shit just doesn't end. And what does any of this have to do with wrestling? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Downhome 0 Report post Posted August 10, 2004 This...this is just pathetc. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Exslade ZX 0 Report post Posted August 10, 2004 Joy's tits got smaller...and thsee are more pretaped segments aren't they? And LMAO dumbass..that was caramel. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DMann2003 0 Report post Posted August 10, 2004 Sooooo, basically the WWE is gonna try and get these Divas over with lame softcore porno acts? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Fook Report post Posted August 10, 2004 Oh God...we have to see eight of these? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MarvinisaLunatic 0 Report post Posted August 10, 2004 WTF? SERIOUSLY. WHAT..THE... *runs for some ice cream* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Staravenger Report post Posted August 10, 2004 ...I'd rather have cancer in my rectum than watch this...yet I can't stop watching. And WHY is Tracie still in this? She's fucking ugly! And when has "Want some" become a WWE slogan EVER?! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest TheZsaszHorsemen Report post Posted August 10, 2004 See the first one needs to realize that i want to be sold on ICE CREAM, not titty licking. I've been sold on that for a while. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest JMA Report post Posted August 10, 2004 This isn't possible. Nothing could be this terrible. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
