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Posted

Something tells me Maury Povich is eventually going to have to interfere with this angle.

 

Lita: Well, Maury, I've tried everyone else. Matt Hardy. Kane. Jeff Hardy. Jazz. The popcorn vendor. My hotel cleaning lady. The next door neighbor's cat. But I think I finally found the father. AND I KNOW IT'S YOU! THE BABY LOOKS JUST LIKE YOU, GOD DAMMIT!

 

*The audience starts cheering wildly as the camera peels over to find Ahmed Johnson sitting in the next chair*

 

Ahmed: YOU NO KNOW NOTHIN, LITA! DIS KID AIN'T MINE!

 

*The crowd full of middle-aged housewives and ghettofied women start to loudly boo at Ahmed's ghastly accusations*

 

Ahmed: I no care. If dis baby my boy, I take care of my kids. I gon be payin child support. But he ain't mine! I know he ain't mine!

 

*The audience politely claps, then awaits the final verdict*

 

Maury: Well, Lita, we've done the DNA test and here's the results. Ahmed Johnson......you are NOT the father!

 

Ahmed: YEAH, BITCH! WHAT I SAY, HO?!

 

*The audience gasps loudly as Lita runs backstage in tears. Maury chases her, clearly trying to milk this thing for all it's worth*

 

-------------------------------------------------

 

It could be a new character every week to try to find Lita's father. Men. Women. Animals. Former WWE Superstars. D-Level Actors and Actresses. Inanimate Objects. And so on.....

 

With Maury Povich hosting, it can't fail!

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Posted

:lol: @ SummerSlam commercial with HHH

 

 

 

 

Anyways, I prefer Happy Kane over Angry Kane myself.

Posted

HHH Water Spit puts out the Olympic flame...that's gold!

Guest TheZsaszHorsemen
Posted
:lol: Kane didn't exactly fit the 'sperm' part into it..but he inferred it lmao.

He was thinking it though.

Guest TheZsaszHorsemen
Posted
Hmm, Triple H provides the worst comercial of them all.

Booker's was far worse.

Posted

So, I'm eating half a pound of prosciutto because it expires tomorrow while watching Raw. I'm really starting to wonder where my life is headed.

Posted
So, I'm eating half a pound of prosciutto because it expires tomorrow while watching Raw. I'm really starting to wonder where my life is headed.

The operating table?

Posted
So, I'm eating half a pound of prosciutto because it expires tomorrow while watching Raw. I'm really starting to wonder where my life is headed.

Would I laugh if I knew what prosciutto was? :huh:

Guest Staravenger
Posted
So, I'm eating half a pound of prosciutto because it expires tomorrow while watching Raw. I'm really starting to wonder where my life is headed.

I see you dipping your face into a toilet, gagging your lungs up in the near future.

Posted

Sooooo, basically the WWE is gonna try and get these Divas over with lame softcore porno acts?

Guest Staravenger
Posted

...I'd rather have cancer in my rectum than watch this...yet I can't stop watching.

 

And WHY is Tracie still in this? She's fucking ugly!

 

And when has "Want some" become a WWE slogan EVER?!

Guest TheZsaszHorsemen
Posted

See the first one needs to realize that i want to be sold on ICE CREAM, not titty licking. I've been sold on that for a while.

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