I suffered a loss this morning.

[The Czech Republic 0]

I went to bed this morning around 2.30 a.m., I believe. At least that's how I remember it. Anyway, there have been some nasty thunderstorms around, and the thunder roused me from my sleep about 15 minutes ago. Unable to fall back asleep, I figured I'd pass the time the best way I know, by playing a little MVP Baseball before I pack up the video games and all of that for college.

 

As I approach the makeshift entertainment center I've assembled in my bedroom here, I notice an unpleasant burning smell, the kind you get when dust is hot. You know the stench. I turn on the TV, and there's no TV that really comes on: all but one solitary blue line down the middle, all black, lifeless, devoid of light-shooting goodness. I jiggle some cords, I smack the sides, I give it a few minutes to pull itself together. No luck. I try changing the channels. I see the line of light change, but still, no picture. It's letterboxed to the max. Since I had noticed before that the top of the screen was beginning to go black and sort of fold itself over the next part down, I faced the inevitable: my television was dead.

 

My television has a history that precedes my own. It's a JVC, twenty-five marvelous inches from the upper left to the lower right. My family bought this television when we got our very first house in downtown Arlington Heights: May of 1986. Five months later, I was born, and the TV and I would develop a long-lasting bond. A few years later, we moved to a different neighborhood, and the television came along. It was in this house of my formative years that the friendship between the television and I was truly established.

 

My earliest memories of lounging date back to when game shows were on all afternoon, on the USA Network. This was 1990, back when Monday Night Raw was still "Prime Time Wrestling." On days when I was off from preschool, at noon, I would head to my family room (at the time quite 70s/80s with green shag and rich dark paneling) to settle in for Chain Reaction, Name That Tune, Press Your Luck, and both the $25,000 AND $100,000 Pyramids. They sound stupid, but I developed important skills: song recognition, vocabulary expansion, and while there's nothing to gain from Press Your Luck, you gotta love that show. Big bucks no Whammies STOP! Classic.

 

I watched a lot of Nickelodeon, too. You Can't Do That On Television, Pete & Pete, Ren & Stimpy, Rocko's Modern Life, all the great shows. I graduated to The Simpsons, Seinfeld, and Mystery Science Theater 3000 (Joel years) on that TV, in that family room. Along the way, we replaced the carpet to a contemporary off-white and painted the paneling white as well, but the electronic equipment needed no replacement or modernizing.

 

In 1996, circumstances brought us out of Arlington Heights and into Lake Geneva, Wisconsin, a tourist trap on the WI-IL state line. I'm close enough to walk or bike back to the state, and an hour away from "home," but it hasn't been the same, and I still consider myself an Illinoisan at heart, and unfortunately, cannot use my great stretches of time spent back there to establish residency and deal with their DMV, which is reportedly less sucky than mine. But anyhow, the old JVC would come to stay in our new family room, where I watched my first Monday Night Raw (battle royal for IC title shot and Paul Bearer's justification on turning on Undertaker), Steve Kerr's shot sink the Utah Jazz the first time around, Jordan's the second, and countless other programs.

 

In 2001, we began to notice the top of the screen was beginning to go somewhat dark. It was a tough thing to do, but we drove to the friendly neighborhood Wal-Mart and picked up a bigger, clearer, snazzier television, with built-in program guide and all. The old model would be exiled to the basement, where all household things go to die. Not one to see a 25" screen go to waste, I tried to revitalize the basement into a cool hangout for my friends, centered around an entertainment center featuring the TV, a stereo, and three video game consoles. Though I painted the walls and tried to set things up, it was cold as a witch's teat down there, smelled like cat shit, and wasn't very cool. We go to other people's houses now instead of mine.

 

By fall of 2001, not content with my small screen upstairs in the bedroom, and not content with the freezing stinky hangout, I merged my two rooms into one, taking the fun stuff from the basement up two flights of stairs to my room, where I now had everything I needed to theoretically never exit the room.

 

That old television had seen a lot up to this point. But it was now that I introduced it to fare such as The Godfather, Curb Your Enthusiasm, and The Larry Sanders Show, all things much too mature for me in the prior years. Now a bedroom accessory rather than family room fixture, it would serve as my display for the video games as well.

 

From then until now, the picture has slowly deteriorated, though I've tried to ignore it andwatch my show and play my games regardless. I've tried to kid myself into thinking I could squeeze a few more years out of the sucker, but damn, it's older than me, and for a television, it's seen a LOT of use. Back in the old house, to make sure nobody would rob the house, we'd put the TV on something stupid like QVC or a similar channel for the duration of our absence. Now "Today's Special Value" is phosphor-burnt into the lower-left corner of the screen. I can still see it when the TV is off.

 

The plan had been to bring the Big Unit with me to my dorm on Wednesday. But as I return to Illinois, with my family soon to follow as we prepare the house for sale, it appears the old box won't be making the trip back. It'll go out with the rest of the garbage next Monday morning, and I won't be there to see it go.

 

 

Here's to you, old television. You've been recreational, informative, comedic, dramatic, and omnipresent. Thanks for 17 years of service.

[Black Lushus 0]

my deepest sympathy goes out to you, I know nothing hurts more than the TV going out, I hate that shit!

[1234-5678 0]

I'm not ashamed to say that made me tear up.

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

It's a 25-incher. Get over it.

 

Now if it was a 60-inch Plasma, then I'd be grabbing some hankies...

[Guest Bitterness the Star]

I, too, know what it's like to have to say goodbye to a television.

 

...

 

Only I wasn't as attached to mine - it had been a hand-me-down from a few years back. It started smelling like a sparkler, reeking throughout the entire house, so I looked in the top and a noticed a bar inside that was fire red. It was promptly unhooked and put outside on a table where it saw all types of weather conditions.

 

Dude, there's no way that I'd be throwing that television out. Sit it on a shelf or something, at least. A tool of such service doesn't deserve to be thrown out with last night's pizza boxes.

[The Czech Republic 0]

...should I send it to the taxidermist to have it stuffed?

[Guest Bitterness the Star]

That or you should frame it.

 

Or an honest shelf life.

[The Czech Republic 0]

I checked the back and here are the official stats

 

In Loving Memory

My Television

 

April 15, 1986 - August 17, 2004

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Pull the guts out of it, and put a shelf in there for your action figures or DVDs or whatever the fuck. Actually, you could probably seat an X-Box, a PS2, and maybe your Gamecube in there, thus making your old TV one big video game housing. Stackable.

[Golgo 13 0]

That's actually not a bad idea. If you need to, screw a middle shelf in there, or something.

[Guest Bitterness the Star]

That would look very classy, but then you run the risk of a shelf breaking and an X Box crushing a GameCube.

 

Wouldn't be pretty.

[Golgo 13 0]

To be fair, the GC is sturdy as hell, like most of Nintendo's stuff. Their products are like cockroaches.

 

Anyway. as long as you don't crack the casing, and make sure you secure it with bolts, it shouldn't be a problem. Also, just to make sure, put the heaviest thing on the bottom, in this case the XBox.

[Guest Bitterness the Star]

Seriously, I've been out of the gaming loop for so long now. The only console post-1996 that I own is a PS2. The closest I've gotten to a 'Cube or an X Box is the department store display case.

 

I might not just limit this potential cabinet to consoles, either - depending on the size of your other hardware and your arranging capabilities, you could probably fit at least one more item in there, e.g. DVD player, VCR.

 

It'd be a neat little set-up, no doubt.

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

I hear ya, Bitter. I skipped an entire generation of games due to college/etc. I went from Genesis to PS2...

[1234-5678 0]

...should I send it to the taxidermist to have it stuffed?

Throw if off the roof of a hotel, Led Zeppelin style.

[redbaron29 0]

Since the TV is from the 80's I think you should mod it out with the classics. Original NES, or a good ol 2600 would be awesome.

 

or

 

you could just mod it into a computer and run the respective emulators on it.

 

It would be a vintage masterpeice, and a way that your childhood could live forever.

[Guest Dynamite Kido]

*plays taps*

[DerangedHermit 0]

*sobs wildly*

 

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?

[Slayer 0]

That would look very classy, but then you run the risk of a shelf breaking and an X Box crushing a GameCube.

Who the hell would put an Xbox on the shelf over a Gamecube?

[treble 0]

I checked the back and here are the official stats

 

In Loving Memory

My Television

 

April 15, 1986 - August 17, 2004

Pfft, the date on the back of my TV says August 1981 and it's still going strong.

 

*knocks on wood*

[redbaron29 0]

*Realizes your TV is exactly two years younger than me to the day.*

 

*shutters* Scary when stuff younger than you dies. Even when it's inanimate.

[Guest Dids]

I remember being very shaken when our first TV died, because my parents never watched it, so I was in fear that it wouldn't be replaced.

 

That's some nice writing TCR.

[Guest Vitamin X]

Now if it was a 60-inch Plasma, then I'd be grabbing some hankies...

Seeing as if it was a plasma, you'd be grabbing those hankies a hell of a lot sooner than you would with a good old TV.

 

And you'd probably still owe money on the sucker, too.

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

Not me. I don't buy something unless I can pay for it right then and there, unless it's a house or a car.

 

And I'm going to get the Best Buy service plan, so I have nothing to worry about, right? (Little cross-folder talk there...)

[Guest Vitamin X]

Nope. Plasma TVs have a life of about 3000 hours or so (from what I've read), which comes out to roughly about 125 days. You better hope Best Buy can replace it in full, or that your TV has the ability to keep on going for that long.

 

I'll stick with a digital HDTV when I get the money. LCDs I think last longer than Plsmas from what I hear as well, but Plasma's the nicer quality.

[Krankor 0]

Here's to you, old television. You've been recreational, informative, comedic, dramatic, and omnipresent. Thanks for 17 years of service.

 

I feel for your loss Czech. You should cremate the old TV instead of throwing it away.

[The Czech Republic 0]

3000 HOURS? OR 125 DAYS? Ye Gods! I bet The Big Unit in its 17 years was on for 3000 hours, or 125 days, consecutively, and that bsatard kept a-goin'.

[Guest Vitamin X]

Yeah old TVs are way sturdier.

 

Long live the tube.

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

Turn it into an aquarium...at least thats what Apple nuts do with their old Apple computers.

[Bruiser Chong 0]

Plasma's are a waste of money. Snazzy looking in the beginning, but once that unrepairable picture starts to go, you'll be damning the day you emptied your bank account to join the plasma revolution.

 

The oldest TV in the house is the one in my room; which we've had since 1993, I think. Picture's still fine and dandy, but the imitation wood casing is a huge tip-off that it's old school, as the kids say.