Guest CronoT Posted August 23, 2004 Report Posted August 23, 2004 RED WEDDING Aug. 23, 2004 You're invited to the biggest night in the lives of Kane and the pregnant Lita, as they tie the knot August 23, live on Monday Night RAW from the Arrowhead Pond in Anaheim, CA. Undoubtedly, the Big Red Monster is counting down the minutes until he makes the mother of his baby his lawful wife. The same cannot be said, however, for the lovely Lita. She still has feelings for long-time boyfriend Matt Hardy, and wants nothing more than to be with him rather than the monster Kane. It will be interesting to see how this Big Red Wedding plays out Monday night on RAW. It's pretty safe to say, however, that when Lita, like all young women, imagined her wedding day, it was nothing at all like what she will be a part of on Monday night. Also, another beautiful finalist in the $250,000 RAW Diva Search will be sent home. Last week, we saw the sexy Michelle McCool pack her bags, despite a strong showing at SummerSlam's Diva Dodgeball. Who will be eliminated this week? Tune in to Monday Night RAW to find out. Finally, for the better part of two years, third-generation Superstar Randy Orton has been a proud member of the most powerful faction in sports entertainment today, Evolution. However, as RAW went off the air last week, the new World Heavyweight Champion was left bloodied and motionless in the middle of the ring courtesy of a brutal attack by his Evolution cohorts Triple H, Batista and the "Nature Boy" Ric Flair. Clearly, the love affair between Evolution and Randy Orton has come to a horrific and abrupt halt. But why is this? Find out more on RAW, 9/8 CT on Spike TV. So, which do you think will suck the most? Kane/Lita, the ever horrible Diva Search, Triple H's Tantrum Fest over Orton being the champ, or Benoit being sent back down to lower midcard hell? Be sure to watch RAW tomorrow, so you know what to bitch about around the water cooler on Tuesday.
Aero Posted August 23, 2004 Report Posted August 23, 2004 Here's what I'm wondering... What entrance music will they give Orton now that he's out of Evolution? Have they already prepared a decent theme.. will they give him a generic face theme.. or will he stick with Evolution for now? I think Evolution.
razazteca Posted August 23, 2004 Report Posted August 23, 2004 So who is running in on the wedding? Is it going to be Shawn Michaels?
Guest CronoT Posted August 23, 2004 Report Posted August 23, 2004 So who is running in on the wedding? Is it going to be Shawn Michaels? That's the suspected party for now. Knowing the WWE booking team, they'll just use the laziest thing possible. That means it will either be HBK, or some random shmuck who will get his one contractually obligated push, and then tossed away like yesterday's garbage.
Guest Trivia247 Posted August 23, 2004 Report Posted August 23, 2004 First segment.... Here comes the World champion to the ring, look at him in his new suit, all proud... Oh Wait here comes HHH! Sledgehammer shot Bah GAWD! the Champ is down, they are carting him away.... then.... in between the only three matches of Raw... We see HHH in the back.... in a depression over not being the champ... then... its HHH again getting his ass kissed by Bischoff.... then its HHH again gettting his nails done and having his hair brushed by Batistia and Flair... then in order not to totally make the show all about HHH since of course it isn't.... the remaining hour will be devoted to the Divas doing stupid shit.
Guest CronoT Posted August 23, 2004 Report Posted August 23, 2004 First segment.... Here comes the World champion to the ring, look at him in his new suit, all proud... Oh Wait here comes HHH! Sledgehammer shot Bah GAWD! the Champ is down, they are carting him away.... then.... in between the only three matches of Raw... We see HHH in the back.... in a depression over not being the champ... then... its HHH again getting his ass kissed by Bischoff.... then its HHH again gettting his nails done and having his hair brushed by Batistia and Flair... then in order not to totally make the show all about HHH since of course it isn't.... the remaining hour will be devoted to the Divas doing stupid shit. Please, please, PLEASE don't give the booking team ideas. They might actually do something this shitty.
The Mandarin Posted August 23, 2004 Report Posted August 23, 2004 Batista would make such a swank hair stylist. Anyways, I'm guessing Matt's going to show up at the wedding only to get destroyed by Kane. And then Michaels will return on pay-per-view.
CanadianChick Posted August 23, 2004 Report Posted August 23, 2004 Maybe Matt will destroy the wedding, and then Bischoff will "fire" him.
Guest CronoT Posted August 23, 2004 Report Posted August 23, 2004 Maybe Matt will destroy the wedding, and then Bischoff will "fire" him. That tired old formula again? The sad part is, that's probably how it will happen, too.
AndrewTS Posted August 23, 2004 Report Posted August 23, 2004 The wedding has potential to be the Greatest Unintentional Comedy Moment of the Year.
Guest CronoT Posted August 23, 2004 Report Posted August 23, 2004 The wedding has potential to be the Greatest Unintentional Comedy Moment of the Year. Probably the greatest WrestleCrap moment of the year, too.
Guest TigerDriver91 Posted August 23, 2004 Report Posted August 23, 2004 So will we actually see any wrestling this week or what? Or will I have to watch Heat for that?
Guest Rrrsh Posted August 23, 2004 Report Posted August 23, 2004 Here's what I'm wondering... What entrance music will they give Orton now that he's out of Evolution? Have they already prepared a decent theme.. will they give him a generic face theme.. or will he stick with Evolution for now? I think Evolution. I actually think that his entrace is incredably cool and that something like it is crutial for him staying over. I am not joking.
Guest Rrrsh Posted August 23, 2004 Report Posted August 23, 2004 So who is running in on the wedding? Is it going to be Shawn Michaels? I say Shawn
claydude14 Posted August 23, 2004 Report Posted August 23, 2004 Batista would make such a swank hair stylist. There's a hair studio I always pass called Batisti's Hair Salon, but of course I refer to it as Batista's.
razazteca Posted August 23, 2004 Report Posted August 23, 2004 Maybe Matt will destroy the wedding, and then Bischoff will "fire" him. That tired old formula again? The sad part is, that's probably how it will happen, too. I think Vince will strut down the runway.......then say UR FIRED!
claydude14 Posted August 23, 2004 Report Posted August 23, 2004 They could give Orton the old instrumental version of Evolution... I liked that one better anyways.
Guest Trivia247 Posted August 23, 2004 Report Posted August 23, 2004 Heh Right before the ceramony you hear Lita talking it over with Stacy saying shes gonna say no and then knee him or something Bischoff overhears it and tells her that because of the match contract she must marry him, must kiss him, and must perform All the marital duties for him, and if Bischoff hears him say that Lita hasn't performed one act...well shes fired.
The Mandarin Posted August 23, 2004 Report Posted August 23, 2004 I was thinking, and Shawn needs to kip up out of another wheelchair. Yeah, maybe he's already had three months to heal but we all know Shawn *loves* milking injuries. Hell, maybe show him for the first time during the pre-PPV Sunday Night Heat watching (while still in a wheelchair) his own "Shawn Michaels is returning promo", with him yelling "Shit, I didn't know that!", START WHEELING HIS ASS TO OREGON, have him show up about 2 minutes late for his match with Kane about 90 minutes later and HE KIPS OUT OF THE WHEELCHAIR and the match begins. ..I'm sure they could pull it off in a believable fashion.
Guest Trivia247 Posted August 23, 2004 Report Posted August 23, 2004 nah they do the three musketeers thing. Shawn will be there but Will be dressed like a Paster (sp) with the long brim undertaker like hat and he has his head down. Then suddenly when it reaches the point where if there is anyone who objects. he then throws the Bible in Kane's face, and then he Superkicks the Bible which Smashes into Kane's skull he falls off the dais to the floor... then Sting comes down with his Christian Friendly Facepaint and Bashes Shawn Michaels upside his head with the Ball bat carved out of the wood from the True Cross..... all the while Ted Dibiasi is out in the audience taking Donations.
NoCalMike Posted August 23, 2004 Report Posted August 23, 2004 I am kind of looking forward to what debacle of a reason Evolution had for jumping Orton. Considering they should have done it to Triple H since he basically has required Evolution do his bidding and do everything that would benefit his own status......but oh well.
Guest TheZsaszHorsemen Posted August 23, 2004 Report Posted August 23, 2004 This thread will improve when Czech, NY, and I are done with it.
Guest Staravenger Posted August 23, 2004 Report Posted August 23, 2004 What does New York and the Czech Republic have to do with RAW? I thought they were in Anahiem or something.
Guest TheZsaszHorsemen Posted August 23, 2004 Report Posted August 23, 2004 What does New York and the Czech Republic have to do with RAW? I thought they were in Anahiem or something. I was talking about the posters, fool!
MrRant Posted August 23, 2004 Report Posted August 23, 2004 I'm still upset that RAW in Seattle (which I'm going to) is going to be the Diva finals That means it is going to take up entirely too much time.
Guest wrestlingbs Posted August 23, 2004 Report Posted August 23, 2004 I say throw bits in from all past WWE weddings.... When the priest asks if anyone objects to the wedding, have HHH come out and reveal that HE already married Kane by drugging him last night. Then have him come to the ring and pedigree Lita while she falls out of her top. Have the preacher reveal himself to be Matt Hardy, insisting that this whole thing was a scam to get mainstream publicity. And finally, everybody strips down to their underwear. yeah that makes sense.
Guest Trivia247 Posted August 23, 2004 Report Posted August 23, 2004 I say throw bits in from all past WWE weddings.... When the priest asks if anyone objects to the wedding, have HHH come out and reveal that HE already married Kane by drugging him last night. Then have him come to the ring and pedigree Lita while she falls out of her top. Have the preacher reveal himself to be Matt Hardy, insisting that this whole thing was a scam to get mainstream publicity. And finally, everybody strips down to their underwear. yeah that makes sense. and then one of the Wedding gifts has a Cobra in it. That Jake Roberts stumbles out from the back puts it in a bag then Hits kane and Lita with it. Until English Bobbi's come running out and Clunking him over the head for violation of Animal Civil Rights.
Guest Staravenger Posted August 23, 2004 Report Posted August 23, 2004 I think everyone agrees with me that Lita should wear 6 bras so she DOESN'T pop out. Probably has demon tattoos on her tirts.
claydude14 Posted August 23, 2004 Report Posted August 23, 2004 I hope her dress is a hybrid of Kane's outfit or old outfit... red and black scheme. That actually has the potential to look kinda cool, so of course they won't do it.
NoCalMike Posted August 23, 2004 Report Posted August 23, 2004 I say throw bits in from all past WWE weddings.... When the priest asks if anyone objects to the wedding, have HHH come out and reveal that HE already married Kane by drugging him last night. Then have him come to the ring and pedigree Lita while she falls out of her top. Have the preacher reveal himself to be Matt Hardy, insisting that this whole thing was a scam to get mainstream publicity. And finally, everybody strips down to their underwear. yeah that makes sense. and then one of the Wedding gifts has a Cobra in it. That Jake Roberts stumbles out from the back puts it in a bag then Hits kane and Lita with it. Until English Bobbi's come running out and Clunking him over the head for violation of Animal Civil Rights. then John Tenta runs in and gives the snake the earthquake splash.......
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