17-year-old bride marries groom, 64

[DCMaximo]

THE bride wore white.

 

The groom wore himself out walking up the aisle.

 

But pretty 17-year-old Stacey Furneaux didn’t care — because yesterday she finally tied the knot with 64-year-old love Brian Williams.

 

The couple had eloped to Gretna Green after Stacey’s horrified parents had quashed her plans to marry ageing romeo Brian at their local register office.

 

And this time the wedding went ahead without a wrinkle. Well, almost.

 

Stacey looked the picture of love’s young dream in a simple strapless gown and with a diamante tiara in her hair.

 

But Brian lacked the va-va-voom expected of a groom.

 

This was mainly because he’d decided not to use his walking stick — a decision that unfortunately transformed his wedding march into a remarkably accurate impression of Paula Radcliffe’s marathon meltdown.

 

After a brief ceremony the newlyweds emerged triumphantly.

 

They had few words for the well-wishers waiting outside. Although as they drove off Brian boasted: “It’s all done and legal now.”

 

But some onlookers were not convinced.

 

One said: “She is very young and pretty and looked lovely — but it was as though she was being given away by her grandad.

 

"They are an odd couple and they looked miserable as they drove away. Maybe he was worried his ticker wouldn’t see the night out.”

 

Not surprisingly, the teenager’s parents David, 32, and Joanne, 33, were not on the guest list.

 

They had already prevented them marrying at a register office near the village of Llay in Wales where they live.

 

David and Joanne refused to give written permission — a legal requirement for under 18s to marry in England and Wales.

 

So Stacey — who fell for Brian after becoming pals with his daughter Tara, 18 — eloped with him to Gretna Green in Scotland, where permission is not necessary.

 

Last night the couple, who want a family once twice-divorced Brian has had his vasectomy reversed, were heading for a honeymoon in Anglesey.

 

Stacey now plans to spend her time as Brian’s official carer after abandoning her college studies.

 

He is registered as disabled after breaking a leg in a fall ten years ago.

 

 

www.thesun.co.uk

[UZI Suicide]

That's hot.

 

 

She's probably really fat though.

[DCMaximo]

She isn't, which is the really odd thing, indeed she's actually quite attractive, although he looks REALLY old. I just these people wouldn't give Wales such a bad name

[Guest Vitamin X]

 

Umm... says you.

[Slayer]

She don't look too happy for a bride

[1234-5678]

That guy must have some serious mojo.

[haVoc]

Mojo = money?

 

the teenager’s parents David, 32, and Joanne, 33

 

Damn, they were young when they had her.

[Guest Nanks]

15 and 16!! That's outrageous.

[Guest Quik]

 

Umm... says you.

"Fancy a blowjob, guv-nuh?!?!"

 

I guess she just likes wrinkly balls. Though this guy's prostate is probly gonna explode when he fucks her. You think he can get it up still? I doubt it. The honeymoon is gonna be like stuffing a marshmallow into a keyhole.

[UZI Suicide]

Damn, she looks pretty good. There's no way she can be seriously in love with him. He must be EXTREMELY rich and leaving her all his fortune, and they probably never have sex (sort of like Anna Nicole Smith's marriage)

[Lil' Bitch]

[Highland]

There's something not right about all this, aside from the age difference.

[DCMaximo]

There are several strange aspects to it, one of which is her desire to sire his child, which has resulted in him reversing his vasectomy. Even stranger is the fact that she's given up her education to become a full-time carer for this old coffin-dodger, with their only source of income being his disability benefits, which rules out her marrying him for his riches.

 

"This was mainly because he’d decided not to use his walking stick — a decision that unfortunately transformed his wedding march into a remarkably accurate impression of Paula Radcliffe’s marathon meltdown."

 

This made me chuckle though

[Slayer]

If they want a kid, I hope she's up for a spermsicle in the cooch, 'cause they're not conceiving the natural way...

[Guest Nanks]

 

"Fancy a blowjob, guv-nuh?!?!"

 

I just choked on my risotto.

[welshjerichomark]

She isn't, which is the really odd thing, indeed she's actually quite attractive, although he looks REALLY old. I just these people wouldn't give Wales such a bad name

They'd have to be Welsh wouldn't they? mind you they're probably from North Wales, that'd explain it.

[Zorin Industries]

And I can't even get a date, the worlds not fair.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

What? C'mon now Zorin, surely you can find some tail someplace. How's your work environment?

[Zorin Industries]

Its getting better, but theres still not that many available women in my building at the moment, and none in my office. Don't really get a chance to fraternize with the rest of the building until Xmas. Add to that the fact i'm pretty bad at talking to women.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Just say stuff. Women are as awful as men are, and someone's bound to fuck ya. Not really an in-depth approach, I know, but it gets your name out there, and works fine to tide one over.

[Guest ally mccoist]

I just these people wouldn't give Wales such a bad name

Because Wales was such a well-respected country before this obviously.

[DCMaximo]

I wouldn't say "respected", but *thinks* "tolerable" would suffice These two certainly aren't helping, but at least the threads got this far without a "Surprised he's not marrying a sheep" type gag....

 

 

 

....oh shit.