My Coworkers Are Fucking Morons

[The Amazing Rando 0]

So today I head into work in quite the jovial mood, as I had been listening to the Clash all morning and the opening to "Rock the Casbah" gets my blood flowing and puts a smile on my face for reasons I can't describe.

 

So my coworkers are like "why the fuck are you so happy?" and I say "Oh, I was just listening to the Clash."

 

Their response: "WHO?"

 

My jaw dropped, and I took the next ten minutes trying to explain to them who they were, how influential they were, and trying to list various songs by them in the HOPE that they will figure it the fuck out.

 

Nobody did.

 

The reason: "I like rap/country!" Every single person said this. I went through EVERY SINGLE EMPLOYEE over an eight hour stretch. Same conversation every time. Even the older employees were clueless.

 

 

Please, I don't want to kill them, but I just might have to.

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0]

You mean to tell me not everybody listens to the same thing you do?

 

 

Color me surprised.

[The Amazing Rando 0]

But come on... THE CLASH?? I mean, they aren't the Stones or Zeppelin, but I knew who they were when I was in the fifth grade and this was long before i had any musical taste or knowledge whatsoever.

[razazteca 0]

I think the general idea of the music from the 80s is that is was nothing but One-Hit-Wonder New Wave music. And the only punk band from the UK from that era is the Sex Pistols.

[The Amazing Rando 0]

^ I understand, it just irked me to no end. I mean, I hate rap music, but when i'm at work that is all they listen to, and for a good bit of it I can at least say who it is, if not give any more details than that.

 

I've probably heard the song "Lean Back" or whatever at least 40 times in the last two weeks thanks to work. *shudder*

[spiny norman 0]

Last week I was buying "Who's Next" from a CD shop. The woman behind the counter went "The Who? What a funny name for a band". She had not heard of them, despite the fact they just toured here about a month ago.

 

So I fully relate to your story. Though I think not having heard of The Who is worse than not having heard of The Clash.

[razazteca 0]

You need to get some Grand Master Flash and the Furious Five! Now that is some classic 80s rap.

 

Everybody knows the band The Who.........they do the theme song for CSI and commercials for Hummer!

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0]

The Who?

 

 

Did they do a remix with Fred Durst?

[Guest Fook]

I once knew a girl who thought that Pink Floyd and Led Zeppelin were the names of the lead singers of the bands and not just the band name.

Scarier even, that she accepted the idea that someone would name their son "Pink" or "Led" before the fact that they could just be band names.

[Richard 0]

The band is just fantastic, that is really what I think.

Oh by the way, which one's Pink?

[BX 0]

Your Mom.

[Richard 0]

touche

[The Metal Maniac 0]

I once had a similar situation at work.

 

I mentioned Iron Maiden to some chick at work, and she didn't know who they were. I kinda joked around with her about it, then the conversation took this turn:

 

Her: "This reminds me of when my friend yelled at me because I didn't know who Led Ze-"

 

Me: "HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT KNOW LED ZEPPELIN???"

 

Like, it's one thing to not listen to a band, but to have never even heard of Led Zeppelin? COME ON.

 

She later asked me "what does HE play?"

 

Stupid woman.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

I never talk about music with anyone unless they bring it up first, and then I usually ignore them.

[Guest El Satanico]

80s Clash...ewww

 

I actually like quite a bit of the one hit 80's new wave whatever the hell it's called pop. It's lightyears better than that hair metal shite.

 

 

I don't talk music with people, unless I know we share similar tastes. It results in less "they're bloody awful" exchanges.

[Murmuring Beast 0]

My coworkers like Rave, shite RNB and Rap like Usher and Eminem, and atrocious stadium rock.

 

They think my tastes are 'cute'.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Here's my coworkers.

 

We've got this one terrible woman whose cd collection is literally nothing but pop country and NOW cds and their ilk. There may be Skynyrd in there, and Aerosmith's Big Ones.

 

Another owns nothing but greatest hits cds of radio rock bands, like Lynyrd Skynyrd, Journey, The Stones, and Aerosmith, or greatest hits of Whitney Houston.

 

One woman's favorite musician ever is Bob Seger. She also hates Willie Nelson for some reason.

 

A girl my age with five kids and one in the oven really likes Bluegrass, and that's about it.

 

One woman will listen to anything she can sing along to.

 

My immediate supervisor likes slow old country, and has a girlish crush (despite being in her fifties) on Kenny Chesney.

 

Butch's favorite band of all time is Lynyrd Skynyrd. True story.

 

This other guy is a Juggalo and Metallica completist, though I got him to like Dillinger somehow, and he owned a Sepultura cd.

 

The only person with taste I can even remotely tolerate is this other guy who is way into Tool and The Beatles. He'll listen to pretty much whatever though, and is way too into Dave Matthews Band and Pearl Jam.

 

Mercifully, none of these women bring their music to work, save the first one I cited. Thus, the radio is either on "same old classic rock songs," or disgusting sanitized middle of the road top 40. The station they play in the dentist's waiting room. Journey ballads are as ballsy as they get, and the revoltingly chipper morning crew goes on the air when I'm ready to go the fuck home, pissing me off exponentially.

 

I rarely bring my stuff in if I actually have to work in the immediate area of these people, because they do nothing but bitch about how they can't understand the lyrics because they're fat and stupid. One woman took offense to Frank Zappa's racier stuff, leaving me with no metal and less Zappa, with some stuff mixed in that they've probably heard before, like Journey and The Doors.

 

On most nights, I'm just thankful for silence.

[2GOLD 0]

Not knowing the Clash?

 

Come on, even joking around about bad music you know who CLASH are.

 

This is like that time I met the person who didn't know who Metallica was. Don't ask me, I just had to walk away from them.

[Slayer 0]

One woman took offense to Frank Zappa's racier stuff

Ram it

Ram it

Ram it

Ram it up your poopshoot (Cornhole!)

Ram it

Ram it

Ram it

Ram it up your poopshoot (Fistfuck!)

 

I learned the not-so-easy way to screen which Zappa songs to play at work

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Dinah Moe Hum

[Slayer 0]

Hahaha

 

The anti-religion songs like "Dumb All Over" and "Heavenly Bank Account" didn't fly well with the biblical folk here, either

[razazteca 0]

So the only Zappa song you can play is "Valley Girl" OMG no way.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Want to see something really funny? Play something polyrhythmic and noisy like Weasels Ripped My Flesh. They'll hate it even more than the offensive lyrics.

[Slayer 0]

Just about anything from Jazz from Hell would work too

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

How is that? I don't have that one, or much 80's Zappa at all.

[Slayer 0]

Call me a nut but I prefer a lot of Zappa's 80's music/live performances (where they changed up some of the older songs) to his older stuff... most likely because I'm a stickler for good production and his 80's music production was miles ahead of his MOI and 70's stuff. The music was pretty good too, and he was in full-on satire mode lyrically.

 

As for JFH, that was Zappa's first foray into synclavier composition. A couple songs on there are catchy (no lyrics though, entirely instrumental) and have a good melody (Night School and G-Spot Tornado) but most of the songs are polyrythmic and very dissonant, and would drive music simpletons (like your co-workers) insane

[haVoc 0]

Here's my coworkers.

 

Another owns nothing but greatest hits cds of radio rock bands, like Lynyrd Skynyrd, Journey, The Stones, and Aerosmith,

She has bad taste for liking those bands?

[Red Baron 0]

I know some one that I work with loves punk music, but doesn't know who The Clash were. After explaining who they were, she said Rancid made punk music.

 

I should have slapped her.

[razazteca 0]

Tell her that Elvis was punk to see what kind of reaction you get.

[Dobbs 3K 0]

My cousin one time said "the Ramones weren't punk." I tried to explain to him that they basically started punk rock and he didn't believe me.