Storm Comments for October 10th, 2004

[Sly 0]

Haven't read the entire show, but I'd just like to take this opportunity to salute Mike for his work.

 

*Salutes.*

 

Thanks for the time.

[Vasarian_Brandy 0]

Mike = Much ruleage. I would love to see his losing match, because I'm damn sure it was a work.

 

w00t!s to 'Drea for her win.

 

Congrats to Landon for reclaiming his title.

 

Huzzah! to the n00bs that wrote.

 

And...

 

CROSS! FURY! Your NEW Tag Team Champs! And both double-belt holders, I might add! w00t!age!

 

Spike / Sean, would love to see your guys' match, too.

[King Cucaracha 0]

Well...from a quick skim, it's congrats to Filthy. Here's hoping the other three n00bs wrote.

 

Cross and Fury catch me majorly by surprise, but in a good way. Looks like even though Hollywood Boulevard is done with, Masked Man's away and WCs still inactive...the tag division still has some life.

 

Mark's promo is pure hype gold. Hype or not, Mark vs. King in HIAC is going to be one hell of a spectacle. This just makes me want to read it more.

 

Well, 'Drea wins her match. I know Ace couldn't show...hoping Johnny did and is still active, because he's slipping down that card. Very enjoyable from Drea all the same.

 

I'm actually pleased my dumpster match won as I think that's about the best I've wrote in a long time, as far as being 'natural'. Trying to turn Maddix into a puro head was no fun. Hitting people with Pepsi Max cans is.

 

And then, of course, Toxxic pulls out the win and now Mike signs up for that big 'retired SWF wrestlers' board in the skies. Only to return when our PPV cards need a little sprinkling of name value. Sad to see Mike go, but I've feeling he won't be 'gone' as such. Just retired.

[Chuck Woolery 0]

The most flattering part of this whole thing is that you guys think that match was Toxxic's.

[Toxxic 0]

Well you know, it WAS a work, so i thought it only fair that Mike picked how he went out. And he did it by bitch-slapping me around! Great match Mike, i salute you sir - may any cards you book in the future be full of promise.

[The Ill One 0]

Hey! I, *gasp*, read the whole show! So here we go with running comments- ratings are based on a * to ***** scale and due to entertainment values opposed to actual content values. I'll leave the writing and wrestling critiques to somebody with a bit more knowledge. Therefore if there was a promo where GSMS dropped a dumbell onto his groin it'd prolly get a ***** whereas the most epic match could only get ****. So don't be taking this all personally.

 

The somewhat IC somewhat OoC commetns

 

 

Toxxic is Cockier than Holmes~! ( )

 

-Not bad, I always love how Toxxic's promos only could be used as summarization of what's happened so far in his career. Potshots at JD beating Toxx's always makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. Or it could be because Janus has me wearing the Petey the Penguin costume though... AJPW? More, like, uh, Ew-Japan-Pee-U! Course Toxxic keeps drillin' the point MVS' career is up. "The best you can do... is put off losing for a little while longer." Toxxic's a dick. Like Cody the Chode, the scrapped precessor to Petey the Penguin.

 

Ratings- ** 1/2 Honestly, Toxxic, it kept me amused... but didn't do much else. I don't think it was meant to. Didn't really hit home or stir any emotions but it did the trick. So keep on keepin' on.

 

Carnage vs Uncle Filthy

 

-I don't mean to be a little bitch but for whatever reason when you wrote "The musician Sting." Then suddenly Carnage charges it kind've doesn't have the natural flow to it. You know? I realize it was meant to come off as Carnage going right at Filthy before he even was prepared but still something didn't settle right. "Nobody grabs Uncle Filthy's Crank!" Wait, you and Cap'n Plundah aren't a couple? Well I'll be damned. Sound effects for each sloppy jabs, eh, I've never been a huge fan of the sound effects but they work for now. I like how Carnage is pwning Uncle but I think you might've oversold the chokeslams. Burlap sacks filled with jell-o? That's a helluva' chokeslam series.

 

Riley: Did Cap’n Plundah intentionally miss that splash? He managed to break up the count without getting Uncle Filthy disqualifed!

Comet: Do you really think a hobo, a pirate and a man in a monkey suit could plan something like that out? This was just a fluke, and a really generous call by Nick Lumas!

 

Genius. The whole idea works but, again, I don't know if that's something that could be repeated. Filthy's "posse" getting the shit kicked outta' them gives Uncle Filthy time to recover. Wrestling logic 101 lets that work and the whole sequence there is very entertaining. Good way to slip out of the Camel Clutch. Ahem due to my new-found sobreity I won't go into a rant about how I marked for the washed up TV star's pot boxers but I marked out. Groinshot. It makes me wonder if all men were wrestlers if we'd evolve to the point where ballshots wouldn't kill. Hell it would've ended America's Funniest Home Videos season 38762348039082 and Version 43753820 dead in its track. Sometimes just saying "he goes the cover" is best rather than have words eat up how you attempt the pin. Just a thought. Ending is a bit abrupt but works. There's the big win for Filthy and Comet protesting. Nice.

 

Rating- *** Up-and-comer, folks, but we all know that. Ah Filthy, Pete, and Plundah are always good fun.

 

Megan Advises Maddix on Skincare

 

-Damn those pesky wrinkles, Maddix should stick with decaf! Is taking a plunge into a dumpster really that bad? I mean, shit, it prolly smells but I figure most of the garbage would provide for a cushion, right? Maybe there's Henry the Hungry Hobo already sleeping in there so you can have company. But no, nobody thinks about poor starvin' Henry. Yeah, better recongize. Skanky Skye... sounds like a fetish pornstar name. Ah there's the sexual innuedo to calm Maddix down! He needs some sexual healin' but don't toss the match 'cause you know "Megs" will deliver anyway.

 

Rating- *** Eh, it just seems like Maddix has a lot more to worry about than taking a fall into a dumpster or teamin' with Filthy's friends. Anyway it was a nice, short promo and did the trick. So hurray for Maddix.

 

rKade vs Evan Wolfe

 

-...No! Bus! No!

 

Crossed Fury vs Revolution Zero

 

-Duh-duh-duh-double champions, bitches! Sucklin. Ha. Quick action to start the match off with. Hey now, Jenkins can outsmart, uh, let me get back to you on that one.

 

...

 

Still got no-one. Regardless Cross gets the upper-hand. Did you guys dig through the good ole' thesaurus for the word "idiot" and found all those petty insults? Goof, cornball, Corngoof, Goball, Goofcorn, Ballgo... hahaha, I said ball(s). Comet calling Riley by "Bobb-o?" Not feeling it. Bit too lax for Mr. Caped Crusader Comet. Low blow by Spike which has me going back to my theory of man's evolution of nutshots and Saget becoming unemployeed. (Graps has to free him eventually, right?) No selling the sleeper hold? Dude, one of my finisher is the sleeperhold. But that could explain why I smell (beat you to it, GOdrea) and why I'm up for Tool of the Year award! Few very minor typos, but hey, happens to the best of us. Alright there's some Greek God-name droppins' and there drops Spike! New! Tag! Champions! Congrats, guys.

 

Rating- ***1/2 kept my attention and I thoroughly enjoyed the match. Hope you double champs have a nice reign.

 

Mark! Is! Fired! Up!

 

-I blame you for King's turn too, Marky-Mark. I also blame you for the Greenhouse Effect, Angel's push, and the song "My Goodies." But anyway I'm fuckin' hyped for the Hell in a Cell and the hype for the match keeps on coming. Nice.

 

Rating- *** Fun, short, it works.

 

Canda's Best Export is -Obviously- Beaver Jokes But Whatever vs Andrea Montgemery vs JD

 

-I smell so I won't review this.

 

 

...Ah what the hell. Ooohh, second marijuana reference tonight this time aimed at JD. How true and how nice. The sexual-preference-questionable Aaron calls for the bell. Hey winning without doing any work requires talent. Okay -another- weed joke. Nice Domino spot. Riley reminds me of that heroin addict in those Lord of the Ring movies with Ace's face. "No! THE PRECIOUS!" ...I lose, I suck at life, and I've been Myers'ed. Anyway. Tuckerman and Roll. Then- Falling Star Bomb for the win~!

 

Rating- ***1/4 It smelled. Oh, wait, that's me. Okay not so bad, Andrea, and it was enjoyable. W00t.

 

Bathroom Break

 

-I dedicated the flush to Durandal! (Oooohh, crash and burn).

 

 

Maddix vs King (But Not the Suicidal One) DUMPSTAH~! MATCH

 

-Why do I feel this match has potential to twist into an erotica? Don't answer that. Man is Kelly always that bitchy or is she on the rag? Or both? But it starts out in the aisle, hurray. Stepladder and trashcan? MMmmmm, hardcore goodness. I approve. Hey he's climbing the midget stepladder. At first I actually thought I saw a Midget reference but no such luck. Ooohhhh, Maddix is DENIED! Here comes the chair. Ouch, a pain that'll linger for Maddix. Fuckin' awesome spot with the powerbomb onto the 'vertically challenged' propped stepladder. Kelly off to get the dumpster, I always knew she was trash. (Yeah, yeah that one blew more than the rest). Droptoe hold to Max King that somewhere Raven is smirking over. Wow I actually laughed at the "trash landing" play-on-words. Danglies? *Winces* Damn it, foiled Exploder! Boot to the jaw... shit, Maddix is in the dumpster. Did I just see packing peanuts fly up when he landed? I think I did. Now close the lid King 'fore the flies get out... or Maddix. Ha! Kelly can't shut the other one, biatch~! See it's the attention to lil' details where spots like this are created and really work.

 

Ho-ly shit I think I might've been right about the Skye/Kelly erotica, wait, no, she just powdered King's face a bit. Cool. Hey! Glass bottle? Recycle you stupid shits! Nice attention to details since Maddix is covered in trash and isn't so fresh and clean-clean. GARBURO~! That actually made me laugh out loud (contrary to popular belief I'm a huge supporter in "lol" meaning internal laughing). Oh and King's bleeding like a first timer! Here comes the chair shot! Man Maddix should've just let Max slip on the banana peel. Muaahahaha communication breakdown will drive ya' insane *air guitars to Led Zeppelin* King gets toppled over and into the dumpster by Megan Skye! What can't this girl do? Nnnnnnnnnneeeewwwwww champ! Hoo-fuckin-hah!

 

Rating- ****1/2 Again based on entertainment. (Not to say it wasn't a solid match). I, simply put, adored this match, Maddix, and here's hoping to another great reign!

 

M!V!S! vs TOXXIC!

 

-Here we go. I'm legitimately as psyched for this as people can get over e-fed wrestling. ...Whoa, I had an all-show brawl with Toxxic? Wait, yeah, yeah I did. Don't turn your back to Siclen 'cause you'll get bitch slapped. Here it comes for whatever reason I have "Ain't Nothing to Fuck With" going along with this match as I actually visual it. A guy's gotta' scratch where a man's gotta scratch. LARIA-oh, wait, nope. I'm already feelin' this match. Swagger~! Dialouge spoken during the match, nice. There's the Sobering Thought but Siclen won't let it end there. Jesus Christ, ANOTHER nutshot. I wonder if Darwin ever considered my theory... anyway. Working on that neck like Zack works on getting a date from WJM. Another jello reference. Can't we find some other substance that can't be associated with Bill Cosby? Please? Okay, tilde fever has struck this whole federation~! Okay Comet's exclaimations cover about every deity (where's the "Holy leapin' Buddha~!")? Flying headscissors, selling the fact that as rare as me showing. Cool. Van! Slaminator! Okay where's my valium 'cause I am pumped! This federation also has a fetish for the word "inevitable." Cardinal Sin Clutch! Gah, no tap out and another "Bobbo." Hey can we throw Raynor onto the announcing team so we can call him by "-red- boobo?" No? Fine. Loudest. Sigh. Ever. Riot Act! Wait, no, Toxxic nails him with a kick. Jumping Van Slaminator? Ho-ly shit. Wait, fuck, MVS lost? Wait here comes Cortez with the RAGE~! Then there's the Urban Assault! One last time MVS hears the crowd chant his name.

 

Thanks for your contributions to the federation Mike. From Snow Demon, to "biting clits" to this match. It gets me all nostalagic man, but hey, you got your huge final showing. Now y'all come back now, ya' hear?

 

Rating- ****3/4 It was very nicely written even though it's obviously a work. A great way to end the night.

 

Overall this was a pretty nice show guys, let's keep it up.

[Vasarian_Brandy 0]

The most flattering part of this whole thing is that you guys think that match was Toxxic's.

Wow...

 

That's all I can say, really...

 

Damn, Mike. Making people look good til the end.

 

(Salute)

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0]

Mike, I know we have had our differences in the past. But I always thought we were friends through it all. Sad to see you go, buddy. Good luck with whatever you do now that you don't have to write several thousand words a week.

[Guest Suicide King]

I frequently enjoy many of the shows, but this is the first one I have truly been impressed with in awhile. Excellent job, to everyone involved!

[Guest Evan Douglas Wolfe]

Well I wrote a match. It wasn't much of a match, but I did write. I don't know if rKade wrote, but one way or another there should be something to be edited in.

[Toxxic 0]

Let’s give the n00bs a bit of encouragement. Tonight, Uncle Filthy gets the treatment.

 

First off, a good bit of scene-setting with the fans still trailing in (it was full for my opening promo though - maybe I drove them off to get some food or something). I’m not quire sure how you can have black light, but to each their own. IL has black sparks during his heel turn, and I’m fairly sure that’s just soot.

 

The wording on Uncle Filthy’s entrance makes it sound like Carnage lunges at him because of the Sting t-shirt. Certainly feasible, but I’m not sure if that was what you were trying to imply.

 

The sound-effects. I’m a fine one to talk, but I’m not sure if you need them for every move. The Samoan Drop possibly, but the left hands? I’d only really use them on a strike if it’s to emphasise it, although Uncle Filthy’s signature strike does seem to be the left-handed haymakers so maybe, maybe.

 

The thing that stands out for me is the style, more than anything else. You keep saying ‘Uncle Filthy’ and ‘Carnage’... and yes, those are their names. But occasionally you can mix it up a bit, like saying ‘the masked man’, ‘the bigger man’ or whatever. It prevents the writing from becoming repetitive. The other style concern I have is the commentators. Comet will ALWAYS side with the face, and since Uncle Filthy is (technically) a face he’ll be calling for him over the demented, psychotic tweener Carnage. Meanwhile Bobby Riley will pull for the more heelish person, and on this occasion he’d be calling Filthy a waste of space and a poor icon for children whilst simultaneously screaming for Carnage to decapitate him. In fact, if you changed the two commentators around you’d have it much more accurate. Just add a few stupid expressions for Comet and some gay double-entendres for Riley... ah hell, read a few other matches, you’ll get the gist.

 

I’m not sure how the low-blow got missed, but I guess it COULD be interpreted as him just getting up too quick in the wrong place...

 

And finally, Filthy wins by choking Carnage out - very sensible. There’s not much wrong with the match in terms of moves and such, since you’ve got the big bad and strong psycho going up against the weird kids entertainer but, to quote EWR 4, you ‘need to learn how to work SWF style’.

 

NOW LET ME HEAR YOU SAY ‘UNCLE’!

[Ace309 0]

Um, did TNT ever PM someone the winning match between rKade and Evan Wolfe?

 

If not, guys, feel free to send your matches my way for some commentification.

 

I'll try to read the show. I swear. It's just that I'm in law school. (Yes, I know you already knew that, but damn it, I like saying it.)