Have You Ever Gotten Tired of It All?

[Lightning Flik 0]

Maybe I should elaborate on the question and explain in details so that no one thinks I've lost my mind.

 

What I'm refering to is do you just wish that some hardships that you have to face didn't all have to come at one time?

 

The reason I ask is I've just hit a point today where I just want to walk away from everything. My problems, my worries, my life in general. I'm so down right now, I'm almost in tears at the mere thought of how frustrated I am.

 

Since you more or less know the stuff I've dealt with, I'll skip it to the main point.

 

Currently I'm so bad off financially I've sold off some of my life I'll never get back. I swore I'd do it if need be, but I didn't think almost all of it would be necessary, ya know? At least, not as much as I have given up, and there's still eight months to go before I'm out of college.

 

I sold off a part of my life for some stupid little book. A fucking book. Sure, in the long run, yes, I'll get a fucking education, but I sold off a part of my life that I know that I won't get back. Sure, I can buy back the trinkets and shit, but there are one or two things I ain't going to be able to just reclaim. Like memories and shit I invested with other people with for some of that stuff I sold.

 

I'm so sick of this crap. I'd like for just a few days to just to not live in my life. Ya know, have something better with my life. As this constant "let's shower Dorian with absolute despair" is not only frustrating the hell out of me, but driving me up a fucking wall as well.

[MrRant 0]

Since you are having money problems I guess I can't suggest hookers and blow.

 

So I'll suggest mugging someone and then getting some hookers and blow.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

What you need is a cottage industry. Do you have an applicable trade or product?

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

So you lost this week in my contest -- buck up camper.

 

And yes, I've been pissed off before with life, especially when trying to get a "real" job and being asked in interviews if I would have a problem working in an all-female department. Life can be frustrating as hell sometimes. That's why you should adopt a kitty.

 

And what did you sell off? I'm curious...

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

It's awesome working with all women. I'm the rooster in the henhouse.

[Black Lushus 0]

it's NOT awesome managing them though...women have problems with EVERYTHING where us guys just brush petty shit off and go about our jobs...

[Big McLargeHuge 0]

I'm at this point right now. I'm quitting my job and moving out of the country for a year at least. Don't know what I'm gonna do, and I don't care. I just want to get away.

[Lightning Flik 0]

So you lost this week in my contest -- buck up camper.

 

And yes, I've been pissed off before with life, especially when trying to get a "real" job and being asked in interviews if I would have a problem working in an all-female department. Life can be frustrating as hell sometimes. That's why you should adopt a kitty.

 

And what did you sell off? I'm curious...

Ya think I'm really so fucking shallow as to give a damn about losing in some contest for one fucking week?! Ooooo... I lost in your contest for one lousy week. I still am on top of my fucking division, and that's all that fucking matters.

 

...

 

On the subject of the kitty, I've got one. I've also got a puppy, and six birds. I think I've got enough pets that all are playing the sympathetic "we'll try to make you happy" routine. If that's why you were suggesting a kitty.

 

...

 

A list of what I last sold off:

 

~ Last stuff of my gaming systems (all gone). Considering I put a lot into it (money and time wise), I'm really pissed it was all for naught. Sure, it's just gaming stuff, but it's about the only thing in my room that I had were I went out to get it on my own without having to ask my parents for help in getting or was given as gifts from people.

 

~ My novels and other assorted books. Just got the Harry Porter and The Wheel of Time left, I had around 100 books though. Some of these books aren't replaceable, as they were books that will likely not see reprints.

 

~ My father and I were given my grandfather's archery set. That's gone. That kills, because it was something my grandfather intended for us to be a reminder of him, and we had to sell that off for some money. This alone pisses me off more than anything.

 

I used to have posters in here, pictures (not like of me, dragons and wizards and other mythical creatures), and other stuff that I forget. Now, nothing. All sold. And if it isn't sold, it probably will be.

 

Hell, before Christmas, I bet I'll sell off my TV, VCR, and PC; I'll also have whatever other assorted item I still own sold off as well.

 

I'm at this point right now. I'm quitting my job and moving out of the country for a year at least. Don't know what I'm gonna do, and I don't care. I just want to get away.

Well, I hope the move out of the country goes well.

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

Ya think I'm really so fucking shallow as to give a damn about losing in some contest for one fucking week?!

Who's being shallow, bitch? That kkk Bowl II trophy would look great in your room, and it sounds like you need some decorating material.

 

And when you can't get a job right out of school, you're going to be 20x more pissed than you are now because you made all these sacrifices for naught -- I know. I've been there...

[Guest Shoes Head]

Wow, a 20 some year old, filled with angst, venting on TSM? A first for sure!

[1234-5678 0]

I'm at this point right now. I'm quitting my job and moving out of the country for a year at least. Don't know what I'm gonna do, and I don't care. I just want to get away.

I've planned on saving around 2 or 3 grand and spending a year in Mexico since I was like 18. It's never happened of course, I am fuckin awful with money.

[sfaJack 0]

Ya think I'm really so fucking shallow as to give a damn about losing in some contest for one fucking week?!

Who's being shallow, bitch? That kkk Bowl II trophy would look great in your room, and it sounds like you need some decorating material.

There's a trophy? Wow! Looks like it's time for me to get serious with my picks.

[Lightning Flik 0]

Ya think I'm really so fucking shallow as to give a damn about losing in some contest for one fucking week?!

Who's being shallow, bitch? That kkk Bowl II trophy would look great in your room, and it sounds like you need some decorating material.

 

And when you can't get a job right out of school, you're going to be 20x more pissed than you are now because you made all these sacrifices for naught -- I know. I've been there...

Well then, if there's a trophy this means, I must have it at all costs.

 

And I kinda figured that my sacrifices won't matter in one bit. Which pisses me off more.

 

Wow, a 20 some year old, filled with angst, venting on TSM?  A first for sure!

I always vent on TSM... And this is a sin, how? Don't like me talking about my life, just shut up bitch, and don't read this thread.

[Guest Vitamin X]

Damn are you going to let him talk to you like that, Shoes Head?

[Brett Favre 0]

I suggest you watch Fight Club. It will show you the way.

[Guest Danny Dubya v 2.0]

Wow, a 20 some year old, filled with angst, venting on TSM?  A first for sure!

I always vent on TSM... And this is a sin, how? Don't like me talking about my life, just shut up bitch, and don't read this thread.

That guy never said he had a problem with the thread. I feel like pointing that out too every time I see a thread of yours like this one, but don't, and I have the strangest feeling that I'm not alone. But it doesn't mean everything you say falls on deaf ears to those people or me. There's just a few half-suppressed groans and eyerolls here and there.

 

Have You Ever Gotten Tired of It All?

 

More times than I can count.

[Lightning Flik 0]

If it bothers so many people, I'll just stop posting about my life in general, so that everyone doesn't have to have another angsty post. I seriously didn't know it bothered people that fucking much. My apologizes.

[Red Hot Thumbtack In The Eye 0]

Flik, seems to me that you're just putting too much value into physical manifestations of something that will likely be with you forever (memories). It's nice to have these things but they are only things and when you are struggling to survive, that point becomes pretty clear.

 

If you don't mind asking, what is it exactly that's going on that is causing you to do all this?

[Lightning Flik 0]

Flik, seems to me that you're just putting too much value into physical manifestations of something that will likely be with you forever (memories). It's nice to have these things but they are only things and when you are struggling to survive, that point becomes pretty clear.

 

If you don't mind asking, what is it exactly that's going on that is causing you to do all this?

Maybe I put importance into these physical things, because, dammit. I won't get them fucking back, nor does it make me feel better thinking "just 8-10 months more and you'll get a high paying job" when there's not really a fucking guarentee I'll get one. Nor will getting some of those things back really be the same as when I first had them.

 

The reason I'm in this position is because my father got demoted* and so his hours aren't around the 40 a week he used to get, my mom's disability checks haven't started coming in**, my sister's trying to complete high school herself, and I've been told by the government's student finance "sorry, you can't get a fucking job, or we deduct you student finance and you have to pay that back to us immediately".

 

* - My father's union (with the backing of the shareholders) is getting a pay increase to all employees and back pay from the time this new union agreement should've been in place (three years ago). So my father can possibly get a ton of money in back pay, so they are trying to get him to quit really.

 

** - We keep getting run around.

[Red Hot Thumbtack In The Eye 0]

Maybe I put importance into these physical things, because, dammit. I won't get them fucking back, nor does it make me feel better thinking "just 8-10 months more and you'll get a high paying job" when there's not really a fucking guarentee I'll get one. Nor will getting some of those things back really be the same as when I first had them.

 

All I meant there (other than that physical things are pretty low on the totem pole anyway) is that, although difficult, you've got better things to worry about that you should try to focus on above losing those items. I'm sure you know all this already but knowing it and doing it are two different animals for sure.

 

As far as the school thing goes...I hate doing this really, but if you have an idea that things will be shitty for a while yet, see if they can freeze your credits where they are or something and take six months in order to work. That really sucks though because going 'back' to school is damned harder than going to school.

 

One thing I'm idealistic about is karma, and if you stay the course and live your life to the best in any situation, you'll end up falling into the odd barrel of shit. But you'll come out smelling rosy.

[Lightning Flik 0]

Nope, I'm stuck in my course. I have to go through with it, or I pay everything back. That's what I've been told. There's no choice about it.

 

As for karma... If after all this, I get out of it, there better be like God standing at my graduation podium giving me my diploma and telling me the rest of my life is a cinch. Anything less than that, and I'll be thoroughly put out.

[Red Hot Thumbtack In The Eye 0]

I suppose then that is would be better to push through instead of just leaving without telling anyone, like I did. Although looking at a payback system could be an option if you are really hard up. You'd be losing money from working, but you'd still be pulling some dollars in.

 

And nope, it'll just be you and your self satisfaction. Pretty cool, no?

[Guest netslob]

I suggest you watch Fight Club. It will show you the way.

indeed.

 

"It's only after you've lost everything are you free to do anything."

[Bruiser Chong 0]

What you need is a cottage industry. Do you have an applicable trade or product?

Funny you should mention that, AoO. I had no clue what that was until reading about it in an assigned chapter in my Late Western Civ. class last week. Now it all makes sense. You go to school so you understand messageboards better.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

I don't go to school. In fact, I hated college.

 

I do however know a lot about personal industry. I'm not going to say what I did to pay for college while I was there, since there's still authorities out there wondering about it, but it would've worked if I had the slightest interest in staying on the course I was on.

[Guest Shoes Head]

If it bothers so many people, I'll just stop posting about my life in general, so that everyone doesn't have to have another angsty post. I seriously didn't know it bothered people that fucking much. My apologizes.

It rubs a lot of people the wrong way because you're acting as if you're the only person with a difficult life on the face of the planet. You should have let people know from the jump that you didn't want any honest feedback, and that you were just looking to be soothed and comforted with false assurances that things will get better.

 

Since you didn't, I have some true words for you. THINGS WILL NEVER GET BETTER. Go to a family reunion and sit with your cranky old great uncles. They'll all agree that life is a bitch from your first word to your last rights - which gets progressively worse in between. Whatever your situation is, or what's currently got your goat right now will not even compare to the next time life takes a shit on you. Which, by the way, will be sooner than later.

 

Have fun living on planet earth, otherwise known as hell.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

You're retarded, Shoes Head.

 

Life is more like Silly Putty. It's common stuff..everybody's had some at some point, but there's something special about it. It can fall to the floor and bounce back, it can copy comic books and pictures, and it even comes in a little egg.

 

The guy that invented that stuff really intended something deeper with his product, and I'm the only person who realizes it. The fact that it's available in the randomness of a checkout lane's trinkets is just more proof.

 

Yeah, it's great and all, but there's millions more just like it, and when you break it down to its real net worth, it's barely worth a quarter.

[Guest T®ITEC]

Don't forget that no matter how severe your own problems are, they will never ever compare to anyone else's. Ever.

 

...Well, that's what I've learned in life. You have no right to complain, no matter what.

[Lightning Flik 0]

I suppose then that is would be better to push through instead of just leaving without telling anyone, like I did. Although looking at a payback system could be an option if you are really hard up. You'd be losing money from working, but you'd still be pulling some dollars in.

 

And nope, it'll just be you and your self satisfaction. Pretty cool, no?

Well, I guess I'll just have to start working more hours and get smacked later for it.

 

And I was really hoping God would show up. It would be a nice to see the Almighty One, after I get through hell.

 

It rubs a lot of people the wrong way because you're acting as if you're the only person with a difficult life on the face of the planet.  You should have let people know from the jump that you didn't want any honest feedback, and that you were just looking to be soothed and comforted with false assurances that things will get better.

 

Since you didn't, I have some true words for you.  THINGS WILL NEVER GET BETTER.  Go to a family reunion and sit with your cranky old great uncles.  They'll all agree that life is a bitch from your first word to your last rights - which gets progressively worse in between.  Whatever your situation is, or what's currently got your goat right now will not even compare to the next time life takes a shit on you.  Which, by the way, will be sooner than later.

 

Have fun living on planet earth, otherwise known as hell.

...hm... Let's see anywhere in my first post state that I'm the only one that has a problem? No there isn't. Maybe if you read it, you would see that. My first reply to you, ok, I'll admit wasn't very nice, but put up a post like that, how were you expecting me to respond to something like that?

 

And I didn't want truthful responses? You didn't happen to read my posts with Red Hot Thumbtack In The Eye. Did I get reassurances from him? No. Yet, he was at least more sensible about answering than you have been.

 

I've never had family reunions like yours. I've only been to three, and mine were all happy and stuff. Even if some people's lives weren't doing well, everyone had a good time.

 

Don't forget that no matter how severe your own problems are, they will never ever compare to anyone else's. Ever.

 

...Well, that's what I've learned in life. You have no right to complain, no matter what.

I'm not trying to compare. I just wanted to get this off my chest. Hell, I didn't even really want to get into why life is down on me.

[Red Hot Thumbtack In The Eye 0]

And I was really hoping God would show up. It would be a nice to see the Almighty One, after I get through hell.

 

Life sucks, but it's hardly hell for you right now, although I get the feeling that you were half joking there anyway. Wait until you're homeless and hungry before talking it up that far.

 

And I didn't want truthful responses? You didn't happen to read my posts with Red Hot Thumbtack In The Eye. Did I get reassurances from him? No. Yet, he was at least more sensible about answering than you have been.

 

Oh no, you got plenty of reassurances from me. I just haven't yet fallen back on annotating *hugz* and explicitly tried to placate you.

 

In a nutshell though, things are not as bad as they feel. Of course nobody is unique in feeling that it is when a shit storm happens. You have the capacity to care for yourself and those around you, so you have options. It's just a matter of clearing the haze out and getting to it once your luck and circumstance starts to improve.