How do you assholes season your broccoli?

[Matt Young]

I guess this goes in here since there's no more food folder...

 

I have a strong craving for broccoli at the moment. This is great since there are two huge bags of it in the freezer. However, I cannot eat the stuff plain.

 

Every time I've eaten it, it's been in Chinese food (general Tsao's chicken or beef and broccoli) and thus has been covered in a tasty sauce. Either that or it's been smothered in cheese.

 

Unfortunately, I am not in possession of any Chinese meat sauces or even cheese. No ranch dressing either.

 

What can I use to find a tasty solution to satisfy my craving for these sweet, bushy bundles of green nutritiousness?

 

This is a serious inquiry, but don't let that stop you from providing your answer in standard Blue's Clues 3 clues format. I'm already in my thinking chair and my computer is equipped with my Handy-Dandy NotePad.

[Guest Vitamin X]

Just warming it up with some light salt and butter does the trick, really. But I still suggest eating it with meat, I don't think brocolli goes too well just by itself.

[Guest Shutterspeed]

You can't have too much of a craving for the stuff if you're not willing to eat it in its pure, unadulterated form.

 

You're a tourist in the world of broccoli, so enjoy the scenery or get out.

 

And don't call me an asshole.

[Matt Young]

I've just realized that in the last few weeks, half the fun of posting (along with the fact that it'd been 8 months) has been reading your inevitable replies. You always seem to bring the humor.

 

I salute you, Shutterspeed.

 

As for the broccoli... ah, fuck it. If no one offers any suggestions in the next 20 minutes or so, I'm going for the tuna.

[Nighthawk]

Cheez Whiz, btw.

[godthedog]

butter.

 

and i could not stop laughing when i read that title.

[1234-5678]

Yeah, let's take a perfectly healthy food and smother it in melted cheese or butter..............

 

Salt and pepper for me, kids.

[Art Sandusky]

Matt Young is starting to freak me out.

[Matt Young]

Matt Young is starting to freak me out.

Haha, why's that? I understand the post in LSD, but this?

 

I am a little weird, but with guys like Incandenza, IDRM, yourself, etc. I am normal by comparison. (That's not meant in a negative way either. Weird is good. As the cheesy $7 Target-bought shirt I'm wearing now says, "Normal people scare me.")

 

As far as the broccoli goes, I thank you all for your suggestions. I had lost interest in consuming the leafy green vegetable, but now I shall smother some in butter and down that for lunch.

[Art Sandusky]

Jesus, go smoke something.

[Matt Young]

I'm not sure exactly why you're recommending that, but unfortunately I am all out of weed. It's too fucking expensive out here in California. $20 for a gram of nug is not worth it, and no one that I or my sister knows deals with mid-grade shit.

 

I guess I'll go have me a Newport...

[Nighthawk]

Kotzenjunge is a Kotzenjunkie. Jesus Christ, man, at least pretend you're not strung out beyond belief.

[Slayer]

I season my broccoli by not eating it at all

 

Nasty shit...

[MrRant]

Garlic salt and some butter.

[kkktookmybabyaway]

I eat it with Chinese food, cheese sauce or butter, which kinda defeats the purpose of eating broccoli in the first place...

[Art Sandusky]

Kotzenjunge is a Kotzenjunkie. Jesus Christ, man, at least pretend you're not strung out beyond belief.

Looks like a name change is in order for the next few days.

[Guest Brian]

Saute some onion in vegetable oil, add the broccoli, cook until it shimers. Throw in some beef marinated in soy and sugar add cook til brown, add oyster sauce to flavor to flavor, add broccoli back in and cook until desired level of doneness.

 

I often just steam it and eat it with salt, but I seem to be in the vast minority on that. Always the minority.

[Dangerous A]

Salt, pepper, and some freshly squeezed lemon do the trick for me.

[DerangedHermit]

I don't know how my asshole seasons broccoli.

[kkktookmybabyaway]

Mine steams them.

 

In Cleveland...

[Vern Gagne]

You like shit on your Broccoli...Yippie?

[MarvinisaLunatic]

Whatever you do, don't boil your broccoli. Steam it, saute it...but for god sakes don't boil it.

 

as for a tasy recipe, steam the broccoli and then in a saute pan add a bit of oil/butter, some garlic, a finely chopped onion, then add the broccoli to the pan, toss it to coat the broccoli and then add some almond slivers. Good stuff that is.

[Guest El Satanico]

With fucking vodka, man

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

This guy doesn't have sauteed onions or garlic or anything..

 

Hey guy, just make some Chicken flavored ramen noodles, and mix it in there, then add some barbecue sauce.

[Guest hhheld_down]

This guy doesn't have sauteed onions or garlic or anything..

 

Hey guy, just make some Chicken flavored ramen noodles, and mix it in there, then add some barbecue sauce.

was with ya till the bbq sauce

[Guest Fook]

Broccoli is a vile weed.

 

I wouldn't eat it if it was deep-fried in chocolate sauce.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

This guy doesn't have sauteed onions or garlic or anything..

 

Hey guy, just make some Chicken flavored ramen noodles, and mix it in there, then add some barbecue sauce.

was with ya till the bbq sauce

It's either that or mustard and hot sauce.

[NoCalMike]

My favorite way to prepare broccili by itself is in a steamer. You basically let it steam cook until the color of the brocili starts to lighten, and the broccili is still slightly crunchy yet at the same, cooked.

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

broccoli is for tricks and bitches.