1 Ticket to world famous comedian Mitch Hedberg!

[Guest Gatornibs]

I'm trying to sale TWO tickets to the Jacksonville Jaguars vs Chicago Bears game for December 12th. They are in Section 124, Row N, Seats 19 and 20. They are 14 rows from the field. Face value is $55 each, but since I'm a season ticket holder I am selling them for $40 each (What I pay for them). Anyone who wants them let me know.

 

Also if you're a fan of comedy, the best comedian EVER Mitch Hedberg is coming to Orlando. I'm trying to sale one ticket to his show at the Hard Rock Live on Saturday night December 11th. It's 2nd row in the balcony on the aisle in the center. Great seat. Truly the funniest night of YOUR life.

 

[email protected]

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

No.

[Guest Angrycole]

Its sell.

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

This guy is like TSM's resident scalper.

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

Who's Mitch Hedberg?...

[the max 0]

Who's the Jacksonville Jaguars?

[Youth N Asia 0]

While I wouldn't pay that much to see comedy...Micth is about one of the funniest comedians alive. Just off the wall one-liner after one-liner.

 

"A severed foot, is the ultimate stocking-stuffer."

[JJMc 0]

Its sell.

Thank you. And the tape trading folk love offering things "for sell."

[B. Brian Brunzell 0]

While I wouldn't pay that much to see comedy...Micth is about one of the funniest comedians alive. Just off the wall one-liner after one-liner.

 

"A severed foot, is the ultimate stocking-stuffer."

"An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs."

[BX 0]

http://craiganstey.tripod.com/id34.html

 

A long list of classic Hedburg...

 

I wrote a letter to my dad - I wrote, "I really enjoy being here," but I accidentally wrote rarely instead of really. But I still wanted to use it so i crossed it out and wrote, "I rarely drive steamboats, dad - there's a lot of shit you don't know about me. Quit trying to act like I'm a steamboat operator." This letter took a harsh turn right away...

 

In England Smoky the Bear is not the forest fire prevention representative. They have Smacky the Frog. It's just like a bear, but it's a frog. I think it's a better system, I think we should adopt it. Because bears can be mean, but frogs are always cool. Never has there been a frog hopping toward me, and I thought 'man, I'd better play dead. Here comes that frog...' You never say here comes that frog in a nervous manner. It's always optimistic. Hey here comes that frog, al-right. Maybe he'll come near me so I can pet him, and stick him in a mayonnaise jar, with a stick and a leaf, to recreate what he's used to. And I'm pretty sure I'd have to punch some holes in the lid, because he's damn sure used to air. Then I can observe him, and he won't be doing much in his 16 ounce world.

[The Amazing Rando 0]

"I don't have a cellphone, I just hang out with all of my close friends all the time. So whenever they need me they just say "Mitch", and I say "what?" and turn my head slightly."

[Big Ol' Smitty 0]

I bought some tartar control toothpaste the other day.

 

I still have tartar; but it's under control.

[justsoyouknow 0]

Naming kitchen appliances is the easiest job in the world. All you do is say what the thing does, and then add "er".

 

Hey, what's that thing do?

 

It keeps shit fresh.

 

That's a fresher. I'm going on break.

[Ted the Poster 0]

Sometimes I wave to people I don't know. It is very dangerous to wave to people you don't know, because what if they don't have a hand? They'll think you're cocky. "Look what I got motherfucker, this thing is useful...I'm gonna go pick something up."

 

I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.

[HarleyQuinn 0]

"Foosball fucked up my perception of soccer. I though you had to kick the ball and then spin 'round and round. I can't do a backflip, much less several simultaneously with two other guys."

 

"One time a guy handed me a picture of himself, and he said, "Here's a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture of you is of when you were younger. Here's a picture of me when I am older. You son of a bitch, how'd you pull that off? Let me see that camera..."

 

"When you go to a restaurant on the weekends and it's busy they start a waiting list. They start calling out names, they say "Dufrane, party of two. Dufrane, party of two." And if no one answers they'll say their name again. "Dufrane, party of two, Dufrane, party of two." But then if no one answers they'll just go right on to the next name. "Bush, party of three." Yeah, what happened to the Dufranes. No one seems to give a shit. Who can eat at a time like this - people are missing. You fuckers are selfish....the Dufranes are in someone's trunk right now, with duct take over their mouths, and they're hungry. Bush, search party of three, you can eat when you find the Dufranes."

[B. Brian Brunzell 0]

"I use the word totally too much. I need to change it p and use a word that is different but has the same meaning. 'Mitch, do you like submarine sandwiches?' All-encompassingly"

 

"Alchoholism is the only disease you can get yelled at for having. 'Goddammit Ott, you're an alchoholic. Goddamit Otto, you have Lupis'... one of those two doesn't sound right."

 

I opened up a container of yogurt, and under the lid it said 'Please Try Again' because they were having a contest I was unaware of. But I though I might have opened the yogurt wrong...or maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me, 'c'mon, Mitchell, don't give up. Please try again. A message of inspiration from your friends at Yoplait. Fruit on the bottom, hope on top.

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

If this is his material I think I'll pass on that ticket...

[Slayer 0]

It loses a lot in textualization

 

You need to hear his delivery to get the full experience

 

Then again, knowing you, you wouldn't like it, dick