SWF Storm Comments

[hhh6294 0]

Landon! 'grats!

 

and yay for Rev-0 keeping their tag titles, I think!

 

now the anticipation is directed towards the question of... who won the totally pointless triple threat match?

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0]

Max King.

[ChrisMWaters 0]

Max King.

...how are you sure?

 

Manson could have put something in.

[hhh6294 0]

Max King.

...how are you sure?

 

Manson could have put something in.

he likes jumping to conclusions, Max.

[Golgo 13 0]

He's right, anyway.

[King Cucaracha 0]

OK. Dace if you're reading, or anyone else for that matter. Hell, from a purely storyline driven stand-point, Muzz and Toxxic. Could I possibly get some feedback on the 2/3 Falls Match. Specifically the first two falls, as the third was insanely rushed. It's pretty important to know what to adjust ahead of Slay Ride and...to be honest, we could do with some more comments.

 

Hell, Grand Slam said we need more comments. So do it for him.

[Toxxic 0]

I'll try to get something up tomorrow evening. Although i don't see why i should help you beat me...

[ChrisMWaters 0]

Hmm...it's taking forever...should I just put the match that I wrote for Storm up here or keep waiting?

[Ace309 0]

you can PM it to me. I'll edit it in.

[ChrisMWaters 0]

you can PM it to me. I'll edit it in.

OK...it has been done.

 

Posted. - TMF

Edited December 14, 2004 by Ace309

[Toxxic 0]

OK Landon, here we go. Was busy last night but i should be able to do something tonight. First Fall is all you'll get until after the Middlesborough match though...

 

 

 

FIRST FALL:

 

I like the scene-setting at the start with the rundown of the CFC and what’s happened so far, it gives it that suitably impressive feel. I also like that Landon continues Sacred’s own habit of cutting people off with his entrance, even if it is Funyon this time instead of Comet.

 

Nice chain-wrestling sequence to start off with; I wasn’t sure if Maddix was the type for chain-wrestling since I had him down as more of a spot-monkey, but since Sacred holds the advantage for a lot of the time it seems pretty reasonable. Then of course Landon gets the upper hand with some more striking-based offence, throwing Sacred off-balance, but I do like how after Maddix starts throwing forearms Sacred counters with his own better version. Sacred is obviously going after the neck, then hits a few chops but Maddix counters. One question; from the description of their respective positions I can only imagine Maddix snapmaring Sacred right into the ropes, but maybe I’ve ready that wrong.

 

What I DO like is the way Landon goes for the Land Of Nod as soon as he can, looking to get the first fall out of the way quickly. It goes with the slight nervousness displayed at the start given that he’s up against someone with much more experience who has beaten him in their only previous meeting. I’m not sure about the whole corner thing - I don’t know why Sacred would just scoop Landon overhead when it’s not a move used by any wrestler except when the other guy is going to land safely. I’m also unconvinced that Landon could have the agility and presence of mind to flip back over Sacred when he’s hooked for a Hangman’s neckbreaker so soon after he’s been crotched on the top rope. And as for taking a For My Fallen Angel, then having the energy straight afterwards to hit a Throwback... well, I’m unconvinced again. With a slight rest I could see it, but unless Maddix was getting up deliberately slowly to give himself more time (which was not insinuated), I’m not seeing it. Land Of Nod again though, having been teased earlier, and although the first fall was pretty short the reasons for Sacred tapping out are good ones - save energy, and try to win the next two.

 

OVERVIEW: Good ‘feeling’ to the match, good chain-wrestling and the characters are interacting well given their respective positions and history, but the selling is a bit spotty.

[Dace59 0]

Hmmm, guess I should do those comments like Maddix asked for.

 

I like the pulling of the fairy tale line into some gags.

Build to the first transistion from the headlocks is ok, Maddix doing the clothesline before going to a faster spot. But it mentions Scared being dizzied from the Headscissors, but not about the hits Maddix took to the face. Little unbalanced.

 

Not personally happy with the German being used so soon and lightly, but it would have made a good spot to shift from the bridge and try to roll into a rear mount to go for the Narco...

 

I always hate seeing a trio move countered after the second one, it rarely makes any sense. It's a good move having Scared just flatten Maddix when he comes in with the forearms, but Maddix was back on the attack to quickly, I'd have seen him more escaping and regrouping then out blitzing Scared.

 

Against feels like Maddix just slips back into control to quickly, but at least he does it by out pacing Sacred and taking him down quickly.

 

But the dueling Dragon Sleeper/ Cravate hold spot into the Inverted Facelock Backbreaker is pretty nice, though it's a point that should have gone into the Dragon Clutch for the first fal, as it'd have been a dramatic way to get it on. Maybe having shifted the build ups around, and it as the culimation of Maddix's fight back for the first fall.

 

I really dont think Maddix is fast enough to pull off landing on the top rope form a back body drop. Like Toxxic, I dont agree with the flip out from the neckbreaker either, pushing the speed just a little to far. Though it lets Sacred play the out foxing vetern again as he takes Maddix out. At least that point is conistant.

 

Again, Maddix counters to quickly, rather than slipping away from Sacred and using speed against him. And once he's got Sacred down, Maddix doesn't seen to show any sign of any of the damage he's just taken.

 

As for the comment about Sacred wouldn't have tapped if it was a one fall match, that just makes the Dragon Clutch look really weak. It's a finisher, it doesnt take that much work for a finisher to put someone down unless they're fairly tough.

 

Going to the leg, Sacred again takes the superior vetern role and looks in control. But I dont like the fact he doesn't fight back while he has the Upright Figure Four on. And being knocked backwards wouldnt turn it into a Figure Four, as Sacred would be on his knees, with Maddix's legs trapped under his.

 

Sacred's then made to look really unfocused by not capitalising on his knee and neck work by going for a chop fest. But at least it's some sort of paced duel for Maddix to try and gain control again. Added to the fact he doesn't just kick or tackle Maddix's leg out from under him.

 

Then it's made even worse that the leg work doesn't come into play in turning to turn the Narco over. A good pay off would have been to have Maddix try it and fail as his leg gives out and he has to tap. Still, at least it leads into a fall for Sacred.

 

And now it's not til much after the submissions, that Maddix actually does some sort of selling on his leg. And Sacred seems to be suffering far to much for the offense Maddix gets in, which is never that big.

 

And yet again, Maddix seems to make an all to quick and strong counter after taking a big ish bump. It never ends up feeling like Maddix is tougher than Sacred even though he is, which hurs the sudden come backs.

 

Final fall is definatly rushed, feels more like a first big spot thing that anything.

 

Ok, so this mostly sounds negative as crap. Dont take it that way...just the mood I'm in, honest. There's good stuff there, but a lot of flaws and good ideas that where missed out.

[King Cucaracha 0]

Thanks guys. Some quick counter-comments.

 

One question; from the description of their respective positions I can only imagine Maddix snapmaring Sacred right into the ropes, but maybe I’ve ready that wrong.

 

Near but not into. It is that area of positioning though.

 

I’m not sure about the whole corner thing - I don’t know why Sacred would just scoop Landon overhead when it’s not a move used by any wrestler except when the other guy is going to land safely.

 

Well, Landon did land safely, hence me using it. I always read/see that spot as an attempt to throw someone into the corner or maybe crotch them on the top, but I've never really thought it through.

 

I’m also unconvinced that Landon could have the agility and presence of mind to flip back over Sacred when he’s hooked for a Hangman’s neckbreaker so soon after he’s been crotched on the top rope.

 

Musta wrote that a little awkwardly. Maddix doesn't flip back over. The move is actually AJ Styles's suplex into neckbreaker, so the flip over is Sacred's doing...and then Maddix elbows out of it once he's on his feet. Unless you're talking about another spot I've forgotten.

 

And as for taking a For My Fallen Angel, then having the energy straight afterwards to hit a Throwback... well, I’m unconvinced again. With a slight rest I could see it, but unless Maddix was getting up deliberately slowly to give himself more time (which was not insinuated), I’m not seeing it.

 

What can I say, I'm a HBK mark. I probably undersold the MFA looking back, yeah.

 

I always hate seeing a trio move countered after the second one, it rarely makes any sense.

 

True. I was trying to mix it up slightly I think, as trio moves nearly always go to two.

 

But the dueling Dragon Sleeper/ Cravate hold spot into the Inverted Facelock Backbreaker is pretty nice, though it's a point that should have gone into the Dragon Clutch for the first fal, as it'd have been a dramatic way to get it on. Maybe having shifted the build ups around, and it as the culimation of Maddix's fight back for the first fall.

 

The thing with the LON is that I'm trying to make it a real 'out of nowhere' move. If Maddix had gone for the LON before the backbreaker, then you'd half expect Sacred to half expect another attempt. Which isn't good for Maddix as he doesn't have the strength to apply the hold on a struggling opponent.

 

I really dont think Maddix is fast enough to pull off landing on the top rope form a back body drop.

 

Yeah, that was the lift rather than the back-drop I think.

 

Like Toxxic, I dont agree with the flip out from the neckbreaker either, pushing the speed just a little to far.

 

See above.

 

As for the comment about Sacred wouldn't have tapped if it was a one fall match, that just makes the Dragon Clutch look really weak. It's a finisher, it doesnt take that much work for a finisher to put someone down unless they're fairly tough.

 

Yes, that was supposed to be more 'Sacred wouldn't have tapped so quickly' rather than wouldn't have tapped at all. Having Riley say it probably clouded that point slightly.

 

And being knocked backwards wouldnt turn it into a Figure Four, as Sacred would be on his knees, with Maddix's legs trapped under his.

 

I can't remember seeing the Upright Figure Four actually being used so that was a little sketchy for me to right.

 

Then it's made even worse that the leg work doesn't come into play in turning to turn the Narco over. A good pay off would have been to have Maddix try it and fail as his leg gives out and he has to tap. Still, at least it leads into a fall for Sacred.

 

To be fair, that actually was my plan and then for Maddix to try again and finally escape. But by then, Muzz wasn't showing and I was running out of time so...you know.

 

And now it's not til much after the submissions, that Maddix actually does some sort of selling on his leg. And Sacred seems to be suffering far to much for the offense Maddix gets in, which is never that big.

 

And yet again, Maddix seems to make an all to quick and strong counter after taking a big ish bump. It never ends up feeling like Maddix is tougher than Sacred even though he is, which hurs the sudden come backs.

 

See above to an extent, although I really do need to work a lot more on selling. Trouble is, the times that selling really came back into my mind was when Sacred was on the defensive, which contributes to that.

 

Final fall is definatly rushed, feels more like a first big spot thing that anything.

 

Welcome to my JL career.

 

Ok, so this mostly sounds negative as crap.

 

Yep.

 

Dont take it that way...just the mood I'm in, honest. There's good stuff there, but a lot of flaws and good ideas that where missed out.

 

Well, thanks for taking the time to read it anyway, really. You too Toxx. Hopefully I can use this somehow.

[Dace59 0]

An Upright Figure Four as the attacker kneeling down for reference.

 

It's not a matter of lift for Maddix being able to land on the ropes of the Back Body Rope, it's the fact he's not agile enough land like that.

 

And Maddix does flip out of the Neckbreaker. After his crotched on the top, Sacred hooks him up for one as Maddix is hung out, but Maddix kicks of the turnbuckles and flips over Sacred. I dont think he could have done that, with his state and speed.

 

The LON is a bad move to try and get over as out of nowhere. As it's not an out of nowhere move. Doesn't have the ease of set up for it. You'll either have to rethink your plan or it or change the move.

 

As I was saying with trio moves, it's a coming problem in the WWE, and it didn't mix them up at all. Only way you can really have a fight out at two is if you build a huge spot around the three moves, with the two that hit taking ages and each one being a fought out struggle. But that isn't in Maddix's or Sacred' relam.

[Secret Agent 0]

Landon's match, while good, and an exciting step for him, wasn't the only thing to happen on Storm. :\

[Dace59 0]

Yer, but he asked nicely. And I'm a lazy student.

[Secret Agent 0]

What, no more "Jenney's Bitch"?

[Dace59 0]

As I'm no longer going out with her, no. Though I have an even more twisted replacement.

[Secret Agent 0]

Is that even possible?

[ChrisMWaters 0]

Could someone please review the Holy Hell match I wrote, since it's now up in the Storm thread?