2004 Gooker Nominations!

[Guest Phenom]

After visiting WC, I have learned the nominations for the 2004 Gooker.

 

And the nominees are:

 

John Heidenreich: The New Poet Lauret of the Wrestling World

Gene Snitsky-Kane-Lita: Dead Babies Aren’t Much Fun

The Death of Paul Bearer

John Bradshaw Leyfield: YOUR World Champion

Booker T: Voodoo is Doodoo

Mordecai: Heaven Help Us

Shaniqua: Leather Dominatrix

So Long, Goldberg: Thanks for the Memories

Mark Jindrak: Narcissist 2004

Tom Arnold: Pro Wrestler

The Diva Search: Quarter Million Dollar Waste of Time

One Night in Chyna: Poor Blade Braxton

and

Randy Savage RAPS

 

Who should win? I vote Goldberg.

[Guest LooneyTune]

Is there such a choice as "all" because almost all of these were pretty bad. But since I have to choose one...

 

One Night In Chyna: Poor Blade Braxton. NO ONE Should have to suffer watching that, but not just watch it, he has to REVIEW IT (which means probably multiple viewings). Poor bastard.

[Spaceman Spiff 0]

Jindrak was actually getting over w/ the Narcissist gimmick on Velocity.

 

Gimme "Tom Arnold, Pro Wrestler".

[algrim 0]

I'd probably have to go with Booker T: Voddo Dodoo. This only proves that outrageous gimmicks seldom work. Thankfully, Pritchard's oversaturation of gimmicks was halted (at least temporarily.

[Guest LooneyTune]

That wasn't Prichards idea. It was the schmuck who recently was fired (and was also responsible for Mordecai and the aborted Frozen Nazi Heidenreich gimmick).

 

It's hard to tell if anyone is over on Velocity or not. Sometimes crowd heat is piped in and sometimes not. Stupid audio sweetening!

[ChrisMWaters 0]

I don't remember Tom Arnold: Wrestler.

 

What was this about?

[Guest LooneyTune]

I'm assuming he had some sort of role in TNA's Best Damn Sports Show Period special, but I don't get FSN so I don't know for sure.

[Placebo Effect 0]

Arnold fought the trashcan masturbating, midget killing Teo on that show.

[ChrisMWaters 0]

Arnold fought the trashcan masturbating, midget killing Teo on that show.

Who won?

[Guest LooneyTune]

Definitely not the people watching.

[Lil' Bitch 0]

The Savage rapper

[Ced 0]

John Heidenreich: The New Poet Lauret of the Wrestling World - Not good, but not overly WC unless you include the Michael Cole inferred sodomy segment...and the attempted vehicular manslaughter on Taker.

 

Gene Snitsky-Kane-Lita: Dead Babies Aren’t Much Fun - Purely WC when it was about the pregnancy angle. Miraculously elevates previously unknown Snitsky for aborting the angle. Think about that: Aborting WC = Elevation. We could be onto something here.

 

The Death of Paul Bearer - Cheesy on paper, WC in execution.

 

John Bradshaw Layfield: YOUR World Champion - Believe or not, I don't consider him WC eligible. His title reign just sucks and he doesn't draw.

 

Booker T: Voodoo is Doodoo - Damn, I hated the skits for this. Of course it all amounted to nothing as Taker no sold whatever the voodoo was supposed to do.

 

Mordecai: Heaven Help Us - Decent gimmick, but Fertig was way to green to get such a build up and was doomed to failure.

 

Shaniqua: Leather Dominatrix - You did Rutgers proud, Linda. Really only bad for the promo with the Bashams panting over her boobjob.

 

So Long, Goldberg: Thanks for the Memories - Not too bad on the WC scale sans the fan turn when he wrestled Brock.

 

Mark Jindrak: Narcissist 2004 - Never paid attention to Jindrak, so I can decide.

 

Tom Arnold: Pro Wrestler - Don't watch TNA, but this gets a WC nod simply for the title.

 

The Diva Search: Quarter Million Dollar Waste of Time - MY BUTT IS HUNGRY...FOR WRESTLECRAP! Of course damn near everyone involved got a gig with the company afterwards, making the whole contest meaningless.

 

One Night in Chyna: Poor Blade Braxton - Just knowing what this involves makes you want to never have sex for a very long time.

 

Randy Savage RAPS - If I had a second place vote, I'd probably vote for this. One of the most grating sounds ever to grace my speakers.

[SamoaRowe 0]

Wow, so many to choose from this year.

 

 

I'd probably have to go with The Diva Search. For weeks and weeks on end it was the most embarassing, tasteless, obnoxious, costly waste of time I've ever seen on any WWE program. I just wanted it to be over. Not only that, but since it's been over we've seen half the dumb bimbos from the search reappear in pointless roles where the writers struggle to get them on the air (shooting shirts into the audience, etc). The only one I don't mind is Amy Weber, the rest of them can just disappear.

[KingPK 0]

I'm going with Heidenreich, just because a giant, sodomizing, poet-reading Aryan with a lisp just can't be beat. The Diva search at least had breasts to look at.

[Guest LooneyTune]

Someone actually saying a very... wrong, phrase on TV without being bleeped exempts it from the worst of the year. (I think it was "Cum guzzling gutter slut", but I'm not sure)

[Aero 0]

I wanted to say the whole Kane-Lita marriage/pregnancy, but that angle at least introduced the world to SNITSKY. I didn't even realize there was this much crap from this year. Overall, I'd vote the diva search. This had cum guzzling gutter sluts, "My BUTT's hungry," seducing Kamala, and much more.

[CBright7831 0]

Arnold fought the trashcan masturbating, midget killing Teo on that show.

Who won?

That's what I want to know.

[razazteca 0]

Puppet the midget.

[Guest BrokenWings]

Diva Search.

[Guest Fook]

I would have picked the Kane/Lita angle, but it lead to Snitsky and the Lita/Trish feud, both of which are excellent.

 

So I'm going with the diva search. Think about it: this was so bad that it had a crowd of 18-34 year old males actively booing hot women in bikinis.

[Guest LooneyTune]

The Rock couldn't get a good segment out of it. The guy who could drag entertainment out of the ass of ANYTHING, had a bad segment. I'm still going with China/Xpac Porn though... at least the Diva Search had REAL women... I don't even know who the man of the relationship between Chyna/Xpac was.

[Spaceman Spiff 0]

It's hard to tell if anyone is over on Velocity or not. Sometimes crowd heat is piped in and sometimes not. Stupid audio sweetening!

True, but from his matches I did see on Velocity, I could see people in the crowd reacting to him. Granted, he wasn't SUPERMADOVER, but he was coming along pretty good. Plus, he was showing flashes of charisma. He probably would have made a decent midcard heel had they stuck w/ the gimmick, as opposed to now where nobody cares about him.

[Guest LooneyTune]

I know I didn't mind the gimmick, but I never got the pairing with Teddy Long. Long's gimmick was that everyone was holding down the black wrestlers (everyone being white). Suddenly, Long is managing Mr. Vanilla Cracker.

 

I don't get the Mordecai hate really. The gimmick wasn't given a lot of time to get over (a bunch of 20 second vignettes and 2 matches), and was sent back to OVW because Hardcore Holly wasn't cooperating with him at GAB.

[Guest Prof_Plague]

Kind of a toss-up, but there's a few I can already rule-out.

 

The Hendenreich was kind of funny actually.

I like JBL as World Champ - but then again, that's the mark in me that like the new JBL. At least's he's not champion as Justin "Hawk" Bradshaw.

I didn't mind Mordecai either. WIsh they kept it around.

 

Take that back. Only a few things. Huh. Oh well.

 

Shaniqua and Mark Jindrak are just - meh. Not that of a big deal.

 

So remaining is:

 

Gene Snitsky-Kane-Lita

The Death of Paul Bearer

Booker T

So Long, Goldberg

Tom Arnold: Pro Wrestler

The Diva Search

One Night in Chyna

Randy Savage RAPS

 

Savage - not as bad as it could have been, At least he's not an active main eventer for the current WWE Roster.

Tom Arnold - who gives a fuck about Tom Arnold? WrestleCrap, yes; Gooker, no. If Tom Arnold was WCW World champion, then let's talk.

Whatever from Booker T, he managed to save himself.

And the Diva Search was just a waste of time.

 

Leaving:

 

Gene Snitsky-Kane-Lita

The Death of Paul Bearer

One Night in Chyna

So Long, Goldberg

 

But here's where it's a toss-up.

 

One Night in Chyna is just too creepy. Plus, I want to stay more on the actual wrestling side of things. And kind of goes with the Savage thing - as long as they're not main eventer or anything, it's not as bad as it could be.

The Snitsky-Kane-Lita things is started to become very comical at this point. In the beginning it was mreh. But, whatever now.

Goldberg is still on the list because of personal bias. I never even wanted to see Goldberg in the WWE. Plus the entire ruining one of my favorite wrestlers of all-time career and all.

 

Leaving...

 

The Death of Paul Bearer. That was just WAAAAAY too bad. Snitsky-Kane-Lita and baby-kicking is one thing and all, but trying to "kill" a manager on stage with a cement truck---that's just a horrible gimmick.

 

I might decide to override my last thought and pick Snitsky-Kane-Lita because it also follows the same thought. ...A miscarriage on stage? OOOOOk.

 

Well, I know it'll be one of the two.

[Spaceman Spiff 0]

I don't get the Mordecai hate really. The gimmick wasn't given a lot of time to get over (a bunch of 20 second vignettes and 2 matches), and was sent back to OVW because Hardcore Holly wasn't cooperating with him at GAB.

1) The guy wasn't very good.

 

2) He was basically a 2nd-rate Undertaker. Why do that when you have the real Undertaker on the same show?

[Guest LooneyTune]

They needed some new upper-card heels probably. The co-main event of Great American Bash was Undertaker vs. The Dudley Boyz, and Booker T was once again in limbo feuding over the US Title, when he could've been used as a Main Eventer.

[Spaceman Spiff 0]

Would anyone have taken him seriously as an upper-card heel? He's was too small for what he was supposed to be (a dominating presence), on top of not being any good, not having confidence on the mic, and being a rip-off of a popular guy already on the roster. No big loss as far as I'm concerned.

[Guest LooneyTune]

Anything is better than the Dudley Boyz though, but I'm sure it was a smart move to cancel the gimmick, since he was only going to be jobbed out to the Undertaker anyway.

[Toshiaki Koala 0]

Heidenreich sodomized Michael Cole? Tell me more, tell me more.

 

And what's this about seducing Kamala? I didn't even know he was on TV.

[Guest LooneyTune]

Heidenreich kidnapped Cole and took him into a bathroom stall or something. He had him pressed against the door, grunting like an animal and making Cole cry. It was all an innuendo that he was going to... enter Cole, until he read him a poem.

 

A Diva Search contest was to seduce Kamala.