MrRant 0 Report post Posted January 7, 2005 Prague - A 32-year-old Czech tried to commit suicide by cutting his throat with a chain saw but survived after the machine missed his jugular artery and got stuck in his spine, a report said on Wednesday. This was his second suicide attempt, CTK news agency reported. He had earlier tried to hang himself from a tree branch but the branch snapped and he broke both legs in the fall, it said. The man was taken to a Prague hospital and was recovering in an intensive care unit, hospital officials said. Family problems were the likely reason for his suicide attempts, CTK reported. His first suicide attempt came after his wife threatened to divorce him and take their daughter with her. http://www.news24.com/News24/World/News/0,...1643447,00.html Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Ill One 0 Report post Posted January 7, 2005 ...What shitty luck. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Failed Mascot Report post Posted January 7, 2005 Third time's a charm! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vigo 0 Report post Posted January 7, 2005 There's got to be an easier way to kill yourself. Why didn't he just jump of a bridge or something. Cheap and effective. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cuban Linx 0 Report post Posted January 7, 2005 While i appreciate it on an aesthetic level surely there's easier ways to to kill yourself than via chainsaw. People die all the time, so dying on purpose shouldn't be the most taxing of problems, let alone something requiring 3+ attempts to pull off. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Corey_Lazarus 0 Report post Posted January 7, 2005 There's got to be an easier way to kill yourself. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest carnage Report post Posted January 7, 2005 How damn incompetant can you be if you can't even kill yourself? How hard can it be? Also if it was me I think i'd find a bit less painful way to do it that cut my freaking head off with a chainsaw. He should just OD or something. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Metal Maniac 0 Report post Posted January 7, 2005 The worst part is, there's people who've killed themselves in worse ways than that. Like the dude who took a power drill to his head until he died. Or the guy who did the same thing with a hammer and nails. *shudder* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lil' Bitch 0 Report post Posted January 7, 2005 Reminds me of the skit on In Living Color where "Princess Diana" wanted to commit suicide, but kept fucking up. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tekcop 0 Report post Posted January 7, 2005 This reminds me of a short story I once read about a guy who wanted to kill himself so he drank poison, tied a brick to his leg, and jumped off a bridge into a river. The suddent impact with the cold water caused him to vomit up the poison, then the brick came untied, and then he was rescued. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
B. Brian Brunzell 0 Report post Posted January 7, 2005 That's the best story based upon idiocy I've read in a long time. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Metal Maniac 0 Report post Posted January 7, 2005 I heard a similar story Tek, only instead of a brick around his leg, he tied a noose around his neck and brought a gun. He missed his head, shot the rope, and the same thing happened. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Skywarp! 0 Report post Posted January 7, 2005 But the punchline of that story is that he gets taken to the hospital...where he dies of hypothermia. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest El Satanico Report post Posted January 7, 2005 I can't figure out how he could cut to his spine with a freakin chainsaw and still not manage to kill himself. His future attempts will go as follows Jumps off bridge...lands on trash barge and his leg gets kabobed by a rusty pole Walks in front of bus...falls in open manhole and breaks 4 ribs and an arm Jumps off building...lands face first in dump truck full of compost breaks nose and gets mouth full of pig shit Shoots self with gun...hand slips and he blows his jaw off Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tekcop 0 Report post Posted January 7, 2005 I heard a similar story Tek, only instead of a brick around his leg, he tied a noose around his neck and brought a gun. He missed his head, shot the rope, and the same thing happened. That it, actually. It's been years since I heard it and I didn't remember all the details. I just made shit up I guess. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Agent of Oblivion Report post Posted January 7, 2005 Self-immolation Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slayer 0 Report post Posted January 7, 2005 There's got to be an easier way to kill yourself. Hah, shows what you know. They don't have guns in Europe. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Shadow Behind You Report post Posted January 7, 2005 All you have to go is get in a car about 3 am...drive really really fast(im talking 100+) and crash into the exit ramp sign where your body can be catapaulted through the windshield. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Smues Report post Posted January 7, 2005 Hah, shows what you know. They don't have guns in Europe. But they do have soccer balls! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mole 0 Report post Posted January 7, 2005 Hah, shows what you know. They don't have guns in Europe. But they do have soccer balls! Fuuuuutballs. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MrRant 0 Report post Posted January 7, 2005 All you have to go is get in a car about 3 am...drive really really fast(im talking 100+) and crash into the exit ramp sign where your body can be catapaulted through the windshield. People survive that you know. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CBright7831 0 Report post Posted January 8, 2005 How the hell did it get caught in his spine? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AndrewTS 0 Report post Posted January 8, 2005 I would assumed it would have caused some paralysis, but nothing of the sort seems to be mentioned... So, that being said, I feel no guilt laughing my ass off. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Failed Mascot Report post Posted January 8, 2005 All you have to go is get in a car about 3 am...drive really really fast(im talking 100+) and crash into the exit ramp sign where your body can be catapaulted through the windshield. People survive that you know. Not if the exit ramp is in Harlem and you're wearing a sign that says "I hate Niggers". Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MrRant 0 Report post Posted January 8, 2005 All you have to go is get in a car about 3 am...drive really really fast(im talking 100+) and crash into the exit ramp sign where your body can be catapaulted through the windshield. People survive that you know. Not if the exit ramp is in Harlem and you're wearing a sign that says "I hate Niggers". No one mentioned a "I Hate Niggers" sign. We are just talking about being projected out through a windshield. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vern Gagne 0 Report post Posted January 8, 2005 It would seem like the only guaranteed death would be jumping from a skyscraper. Yeah, the more traditional methods usually work, but there's always a slim possibility something goes right/wrong depending your outlook. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sideburnious 0 Report post Posted January 8, 2005 He should try steal food from Rosie O'Donnell. The police our bound to find his body floating in a river after that. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Addy 0 Report post Posted January 9, 2005 I heard a story about a woman who commited suicide by jumping into a crocodile pit. EDIT: Found the article: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/2186323.stm Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nl5xsk1 0 Report post Posted January 10, 2005 All you have to go is get in a car about 3 am...drive really really fast(im talking 100+) and crash into the exit ramp sign where your body can be catapaulted through the windshield. I used to live in Ft Collins, CO, and the town's right at the foothills to the mountains, so there are all sorts of altitude changes. One of them is a long, steep downhill slope that leads to a straight-a-way that just stops; it meets a perpendicular road and has a giant wall of rock on the other side. Two girls wanted to kill themselves, so got in their car and sped down the hill and then floored it, looking to crash headlong into the rock-wall and die. Unfortunately, for reasons unknown to anyone, they changed their mind and hit the breaks right before impact. The skidmarks went for the longest time ... and only stopped where the car smacked into the mountain, killing them both. /sketched out ever time I drove by the crash scene Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Czech Republic 0 Report post Posted January 17, 2005 Prague - A 32-year-old Czech tried to commit suicide by cutting his throat with a chain saw but survived after the machine missed his jugular. Some Czech. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
