Throw me something mister

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

I had a great time if not for the fratboys and people pissing in the streets. The urine-saturated ankle-deep sludge in the french quarter was a bit of a turn off, but worth walking through to lurk outside of the dungeon, which was full of all manner of S&My goils. Place was a gothic embarassment though, so I couldn't bring myself to go inside.

 

Mississippi, what a pisshole. Worst state in the union.

 

More as I remember.

[Nighthawk 0]

I did that once and didn't like it. Too many people who are supposed to be having fun but aren't really doing anything except milling around and getting in my way.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Precisely. Mixed bag. My hotel was lovely.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Cops were fucking cocksuckers, too. Fear of retribution was the only thing keeping me from knifing a certain one.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

I would like to go back to New Orleans one day, but not during Mardi Gras and without my mother and grandmother in tow. This will be easier due to my grandmother being dead.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Speaking of death, Metairie cemetery was the most interesting place I visited, probably.

[Sass 0]

Any standout titty flashers?

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Nothing one can't see at a halfway decent strip club. I found the entire holiday very overrated. I was planning on taking a substantial quantity of hallucinogenics with me, but I drive real fuckin' fast, and southern traffic cops aren't to be trifled with, so I stayed relatively sober, shockingly enough.

[Guest Failed Mascot]

Agent, did you quit your job and become a nomad?

[Nighthawk 0]

By the way, I'm with you 100% on Mississippi.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

The next day, I saw several people with marks on their foreheads. Still slightly bleary, I almost went "Hey fella, you got some shit there on yer melon." but I restrained myself and remembered, "oh yeah, Catholics."

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Agent, did you quit your job and become a nomad?

Not yet. I get a couple weeks paid vacation and then some every year. Good benefits.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Alabama was Mississippi's slightly more attractive, easier sister. I don't think my speedometer dipped below ninety once on I-65 northbound. People in the deep south at least drive like they've got a pair.

[Ripper 0]

You can punch people at Mardi Gras for screaming racial slurs at you and not get caught.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Seriously? I should've knifed that fucking cop, then.

[Guest Failed Mascot]

I've heard good things about Alabama from people I've known that lived there or visited there. If I had to live in one of those heavily hick populated states that would be the one.

[Ripper 0]

I've heard good things about Alabama from people I've known that lived there or visited there. If I had to live in one of those heavily hick populated states that would be the one.

You can indiscrimately punch people in alabama too. especially in really small towns where everyone knows everyone. Then they will say "Oh thats just Jimmys son. You know that boy got a short fuse." and everyone will laugh.

 

 

Although the likelihood of getting shot is multiplied by 10 because everyone knows where you live.

[Matt Young 0]

Mississippi's Gulf Coast isn't too bad. I kinda like it there.

 

Have fun at Mardi Gras, Agent. I'm looking forward to more exciting stories.

[Slayer 0]

I feel the opposite way about Mississippi and Alabama.

 

I've twice driven from here to Georgia in the last 14 months, the specific route being US 78 from Memphis to Birmingham, and then I-20 from there to Atlanta, so I know I'm not seeing all of either state, but I have three griefs.

 

1. Birmingham is a fucking bitch to drive through. I hate it.

 

2. US 78 is supposed to be converted in the near future into I-22 for faster travel between Memphis and Birmingham. When I first drove through in '03, Mississippi's portion of the road is ready to go, but Alabama's portion had some annoying major breaks that sideline you through good ol backwater towns. As of my second drive through (last month) this was still not done.

 

3. Along the same lines, I-20 from Birmingham to the AL/GA border is still under construction.

 

Now that I think about it though, I've also driven on I-10 through those little southern nubs of those two and Mobile wasn't too bad, and the USS Alabama was pretty cool... but that's fairly small in comparison with the northern part I drove through.

[Nighthawk 0]

You know, I don't like Texas, because it's a hybrid of different things. It's like a fucking... pod people state. It gives me the creeps.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

I felt similarly to Florida.

[Nighthawk 0]

Texas is Gremlins, Florida is Ghoulies. It took me years of living here to pick up on this nuance. (Oklahoma is Munchies)

[Your Paragon of Virtue 0]

I'm more interested in stories about the cop and why you wanted to knife him.

[Ted the Poster 0]

Agent's flagrant drug use and love of violence have altered his brain chemicals into thinking that all cops are homeless people. He kills hobos, you see.

 

 

 

That, or he could be "anti-establishment". Fuck if I know.

[Guest Vitamin X]

Yeah, Alabama sucks. Louisiana is by far my favorite southern state. Baton Rouge is awesome.

 

Florida is only a close second because of the southern portion of it. The panhandle is awful. I feel similarly about Mississippi and Alabama, though I recall Mississippi having nicer scenery.

 

FUCK Texas with a 10 inch spiked dildo though. Man I hate going through that state, especially the El Paso-San Antonio part. Houston is an okay town, and Dallas is so stereotypical it's hilarious. Nice people, though.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Fine, the cop story..

 

My friend and I were walking out of the french quarter on Tuesday night, and were a bit lost due to the crowd and all, so I walk up to these two cops to figure out where the hell we're at, right? I even went "Say, officer.." as a prelude to my question. Guy saw me coming, too.

 

He then proceeds to do that stereotypical sassy black-chick thing the comedians make fun of, saying "First of all..it's Excuse me, man, I don't UNDERSTAND you people." Just totally giving me shit, so of course I started fucking with him, and acted real stupid so he had to repeat himself a few times. Guy was getting pissed and his partner was laughing his ass off at him, which was just making him even more pissed off. I even tried to argue with him about his directions since he came across like such an asshole. I guess you had to be there, but I don't consider "Say, officer..." to be a rude greeting. Like we were standing in the lobby of the ritz or something. We're both in ankle deep sludge and he's blowing me shit about manners. What a prick. I'm convinced it's because I was white.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

I'm more interested in stories about the cop and why you wanted to knife him.

That's just how I talk. I inconvenienced him and made his night just that much worse, which was good enough. He'd probably been standing there all day. Contrary to what some folks might think, I don't actually hate all cops, but that's solely because I've met some who are actually alright people that are just doing a job.

 

It's the legislators I'd like to systematically execute.

[yankovic fan 0]

If I ever leave Louisiana, Mardi Gras will probably be the thing that pushes me away.

 

The state's 2nd biggest Mardi Gras is in my hometown, a mile down the road from my house is the parade route.

 

I HATE IT!

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Yeah, come to think of it, I didn't meet any locals that weren't vendors..

[Sideburnious 0]

They probably all take a vacation themselves.

 

Whats Disney Land like at this time of the year?