Chuck Woolery 0 Report post Posted February 15, 2005 (edited) The Smartmarks Wrestling Federation presents... SWF STORM, FEBRUARY 18, 2005, LIVE FROM THE PANARCHY FRATERNITY HOUSE IN HANOVER, NEW HAMPSHIRE (8:00 PM EST; 5:00 PM PST. Check local listings.) Send everything (booking requests, promos, et cetera) to chirs3! So I was thinking, where's the perfect place for the most hardcore show in sports and entertainment, SWF STORM, to eminate from? And then I remembered my ex-girlfriend's current boyfriend. See, he plays in a band. And his band played at a party at one of the Dartmouth fraternities. And that fraternity was Panarchy. And so now, live from the Panarchy Fraternity House on the Dartmouth College campus in Hanover, New Hampshire, the lucky Panarchy members get a surefire match of the year candidate in Sacred/Toxxic! Also on the show... well, here's the card! MAIN EVENT FANS BRING THE WEAPONS for the SWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP Sacred (SWF World Heavyweight Champion) v. Toxxic -> The fans want it, the people want it, and for god's sake all of us on Creative Control just want to get it over with. Toxxic laid claim to the midterm title shot after defeating Johnny Dangerous, and this match has to be doubly sweet for Toxxic because it's his first chance to get his hands on Sacred since the mysterious Australian first left him. Sacred, meanwhile, has been battling everything from personal demons to Revolution Zero to crazy black men, so what's one faggot British rocker going to make a difference? The SWF: All about the stereotypes, baby! Rules: Falls count anywhere. All weapons are legal, but none will be at ringside besides those supplied by the fans. Remember, we're in a frat house. Word Limit: 6500 Marker: Ace309 HARDCORE MATCH Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix v. "The Icon" Max King -> Wow, doesn't this seem familiar? King and Maddix, old foes, find themselves doing battle again. For Maddix, this may be nothing more than a tune-up match leading into his Intercontinental-Television title defence against Todd Cortez on Lockdown, but for Max King, this match is a way to prove himself, get noticed... and maybe shed some blood, too. Rules: There's only so many creative ways to say 'none'. Word Limit: 5000 Marker: Dace59 HARDCORE TWO-ON-TWO MATCH Wild & Dangerous (Wildchild and Johnny Dangerous) v. Revolution Zero ("The Critic" Scott Pretzler and Sean Davis) -> So, uh, yeah, how many of these guys are available? Johnny is unbookable and Davis is questionable, but alas, we're saving Pretzler/Wildchild for one of the big shows! The Critic has impressed many recently, including his huge win over Spike Jenkins to become Cruiserweight champion -- but to Wildchild, Pretzler is nothing but a paper champ! The paths of Wildchild and Pretzler are bound to cross one-on-one someday, but until then, we're going to make them write tag matches, possibly solo, and they're going to like it! Rules: None. Tags are unnecessary as well. Wild and Dangerous' tag belts are not on the line. Word Limit: 5500 Marker: Chuck Woolery HARDCORE MATCH "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins v. Carnage -> Carnage big, tweener. Jenkins little, tweener. Some other stuff happened, but it's easier on me and more entertaining for you if you just read Smarkdown to find out what's going on. Jenkins, after losing at all, starts his quest towards the top of the mountain all over again, and he starts with Carnage. Rules: None. Word Limit: 4000 Marker: chirs3 PANARCHY DEATH MATCH SWF HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez (SWF Hardcore Champion) v. "The Franchise" Mak Francis -> This is your sub-main event, card placement be damned. Alas, this Storm will be the first of several 'house rules' matches for the Hardcore Championship, and since we're coming to you from Panarchy, we're playing by Panarchy's rules! The reigning SWF king of hardcore, Todd Cortez, is probably approaching a record for most successful defences of a belt, but this week he faces an intriguing new challenge in the Franchise, Mak Francis! Both men are fan favorites, and tonight they're going to get bloody, Panarchy-style! Rules: Ever heard of a 40's Challenge? That's what this match is. Both men will have 40oz's duct-taped to both hands, and they are not allowed to remove the bottles until they're empty. Now, you can empty them by drinking them, breaking them over the opponent's head... whatever you see fit. All weapons are legal, pins and submissions count anywhere. Also, both men are wearing toga's. Hey -- house rules. Word Limit: 5500 Marker: Justice (sorry if I put some of you writers in a tough spot, but we're running low on writers right now. If everyone coul dadvertise, somewhere, that'd be greatly appreciated. You guys are awesome, and I don't want the fed to die on you all.) Edited February 15, 2005 by Ace309 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Justice 0 Report post Posted February 15, 2005 TKE! TKE! TKE! TKE! But seriously, looks like a fun card. We all need a joke one every now and then so we can get away from all the dark, grey bullshit and have some plain fun. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Secret Agent 0 Report post Posted February 15, 2005 Johnny is out and Davis is questionable, but alas, we're saving Pretzler/Wildchild for one of the big shows! The Critic has impressed many recently, including his huge win over Spike Jenkins to become Cruiserweight champion -- but to Wildchild, Pretzler is nothing but a paper champ! The paths of Wildchild and Pretzler are bound to cross one-on-one someday, but until then, we're going to make them write tag matches with possibly invalid writers and they're going to like it! What are you talking about MVS? I haven't retired yet. I have 2 shows still. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ace309 0 Report post Posted February 15, 2005 edited to conform with MVS's intent, since I talked to him last night and I'm sure what he meant Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toxxic 0 Report post Posted February 15, 2005 Would someone mind telling this Brit exactly what the fuck a frat house is, and what it looks like? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. S£im Citrus 0 Report post Posted February 15, 2005 Very minor, but somewhat relevant change to stats. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ace309 0 Report post Posted February 15, 2005 A fraternity, or "frat," is a social group at American universities. Frats have a stereotypical reputation as a bunch of hard-drinking, misogynistic jock types who haze each other relentlessly. (I say "stereotypical" because Judge, for example, is the token smart guy in his fraternity.) Thus, you'll have a wild, drunken crowd, probably with copious "Show your tits" chants directed at Jet. As for looks, imagine a wrestling show at a low-budget place, like, say, a bingo hall or a firehall... some place an indy would put a show on. Smoky, dirty, so forth. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toxxic 0 Report post Posted February 15, 2005 probably with copious "Show your tits" chants directed at Jet. Trouble is, she WOULD. Frequently. Ok thanks Taamo, I'll try to do it justice. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zack Malibu 0 Report post Posted February 16, 2005 Hardcore in a frat house? Oh this is going to be so good. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted February 18, 2005 Well, I'm no showing. Buying and installing a new computer takes longer than expected...and with my laptop on the blink, I didn't have the time. So, apologies, but yeah. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
