Ripper Posted April 11, 2005 Report Posted April 11, 2005 I would constantly be killing the shit out of people and then bringing them back to life just to fuck with them. It is this reason and this reason alone that I am not given the powers of Jesus. I would horribly misuse them. Discuss.
Youth N Asia Posted April 11, 2005 Report Posted April 11, 2005 Kill them, bring them back, and just keep yelling "YOu know what I can do to you!" Yeah, I'm all for it
Slayer Posted April 11, 2005 Report Posted April 11, 2005 I bet Ripper would also start inflating booties right and left
Ripper Posted April 11, 2005 Author Report Posted April 11, 2005 I bet Ripper would also start inflating booties right and left You know I would. Plus i would use the "Hey...you know...I got the power of Jesus" as a pick up line while changing her wine water and back, and make women have orgasms with my mind like Chevy Chase did in that movie that one time.
Nighthawk Posted April 11, 2005 Report Posted April 11, 2005 If I had the power of Jesus I would die for your sins.
Youth N Asia Posted April 11, 2005 Report Posted April 11, 2005 You'd just pop back up here a few days later
Ripper Posted April 11, 2005 Author Report Posted April 11, 2005 If I had the power of Jesus I would die for your sins. Well that would be having Jesus's purpose. I wouldn't want that. I would just want the cool powers.
Nighthawk Posted April 11, 2005 Report Posted April 11, 2005 It's a power to forgive sins by getting killed. Marvin Gaye couldn't do that.
Slayer Posted April 11, 2005 Report Posted April 11, 2005 Jesus wouldn't sing about how when he gets that feeling, he needs sexual healing
Black Lushus Posted April 11, 2005 Report Posted April 11, 2005 I just wanna feed thousands on just a few loaves of bread and a few chunks of fish...I just wanna know how he pulled that one off...
Slayer Posted April 11, 2005 Report Posted April 11, 2005 Also, Jesus wouldn't die at his father's hands in a fit of rage ...okay, maybe not
Nighthawk Posted April 11, 2005 Report Posted April 11, 2005 Bravo Slayer. I thought that subtext might be missed.
Ripper Posted April 11, 2005 Author Report Posted April 11, 2005 Bravo Slayer. I thought that subtext might be missed. Don't encourage him. I just wanna feed thousands on just a few loaves of bread and a few chunks of fish...I just wanna know how he pulled that one off... I would use that to save on groceries. Or i would open my own resturant. People would wonder how they only deliver one lobster and steak to the place a night but I can feed everyone that steps through the door.
Guest Vitamin X Posted April 11, 2005 Report Posted April 11, 2005 Jesus wouldn't sing about how when he gets that feeling, he needs sexual healing That's what YOU think..
rising up out of the back seat-nuh Posted April 11, 2005 Report Posted April 11, 2005 Jesus is a hippie. Hippies don't sing about sex. They're not even allowed to think about it. It's science.
Ripper Posted April 11, 2005 Author Report Posted April 11, 2005 Jesus is a hippie. Hippies don't sing about sex. They're not even allowed to think about it. It's science. All hippies did was have sex and get high. And Jesus wasn't a hippie...although he was alway clashing with "the Man".
Guest Fook Posted April 11, 2005 Report Posted April 11, 2005 I just wanna feed thousands on just a few loaves of bread and a few chunks of fish...I just wanna know how he pulled that one off... Go to mass and look at the size of the portions they give you. Then you'll know.
Guest Quik Posted April 11, 2005 Report Posted April 11, 2005 Isn't there a joke about Jesus, Wonder Woman, and the Invisible Man?
Slayer Posted April 11, 2005 Report Posted April 11, 2005 Is there a joke about Jesus and a group of lovable posters on an internet wrestling messageboard?
CheesalaIsGood Posted April 11, 2005 Report Posted April 11, 2005 If I were JC.... BIG FUCKING BBQ! Bigger than Willie Nelsons! I would invite the entire planet and there would still be leftovers! Well everybodt cept John Ashcroft. Sonofabitch would prolly start singing to me.
rising up out of the back seat-nuh Posted April 11, 2005 Report Posted April 11, 2005 I need encouragement... w00t!
Ripper Posted April 12, 2005 Author Report Posted April 12, 2005 I would vacation about 10-11 times a year. I mean just not do a fucking thing. Then if someone called me on it I would say I was meditating. Who's going to argue...I got the JC powers!
Guest MikeSC Posted April 12, 2005 Report Posted April 12, 2005 If I had the power of Jesus I would die for your sins. I'd die for my own sins. The rest of you can fuck off. -=Mike
Richard Posted April 12, 2005 Report Posted April 12, 2005 I'd try to get rid of that pesky aids virus.
Art Sandusky Posted April 13, 2005 Report Posted April 13, 2005 I'd like, go down to Taco Bell and say "Hey, I'm Jesus," and they'd give me a burrito.
Gary Floyd Posted April 13, 2005 Report Posted April 13, 2005 I'd go to a little place known as Jesus Ranch
Slayer Posted April 13, 2005 Report Posted April 13, 2005 I'd like, go down to Taco Bell and say "Hey, I'm Jesus," and they'd give me a burrito. Just one?
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