The World's Greatest Insult

[KK Rage 0]

So I'm bartending the Tuesday night pool league, which always gets rowdy because it is all drunk ass 30-45 year old barfly shit-talkers. I'm calmly watching whatever is on ESPN when all of a sudden I hear from the pool room...

 

 

 

"FRANK THE ONLY REASON I FUCKED YOU IN THE ASS WAS TO WIPE THE SMELL OF YOUR MOTHERS DIRTY SNATCH OFF MY DICK!"

 

 

 

 

 

Thought you guys might enjoy.

[Black Lushus 0]

I wouldn't call myself gay in order to insult someone else...though it is funny in a "Drunk People Say The Darndest Things" kinda way...

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

I was at a new years eve party one year, and saw an insult tete a tete that ended with my pal Martin Stretch Fantastik shouting "Oh YEAH?? Well I'll sit on your COCK!" in front of about 30 people who were dead silent for exactly four seconds before bursting into a deluge of hysterical laughter. Jaybird was stunned into silence. Martin went on the porch and threw up.

[Ted the Poster 0]

Wow, those are some awful nicknames.

 

 

(I know, I know...)

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

No one has a real name in my town. Namewords are sacred and rarely uttered.

[PLAGIARISM! 0]

Right, so 'Martin Stretch Fantastik' would be short for 'Martin'.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

It's a long story. Martin's actually his last name. I'm Argh.

[rising up out of the back seat-nuh 0]

I once told a girl who was trying to chat me up that she was a waste of a good facial.

[Mole 0]

Earlier tonight, my friend Sana (who is kind of a slut) was walking in the suite, slipped on some water and fell on her ass.

 

I then yelled "You fell because you have so much cum in your stomach."

 

I didn't get laughter from my friends for a good 3 minutes because they had the "OMG" faces on.

[Art Sandusky 0]

Awesome.

[Nighthawk 0]

On the subject of pointless nicknames, in the sixth grade I started calling myself The Disintegrator and it stuck for like five years.

[Modern Man's Hustle 0]

Earlier tonight, my friend Sana (who is kind of a slut) was walking in the suite, slipped on some water and fell on her ass.

 

I then yelled "You fell because you have so much cum in your stomach."

 

I didn't get laughter from my friends for a good 3 minutes because they had the "OMG" faces on.

I don't see the connection between a full stomach and clumsiness. I don't fall over after I eat a hearty bowl of clam chowder.

[Jingus 0]

On the subject of pointless nicknames, in the sixth grade I started calling myself The Disintegrator and it stuck for like five years.

I can one-up ya there. I started posting on local wrestling boards under the name "Jingus" to keep my identity a secret, because I was writing reviews of the local shows and didn't want any angry wrestlers to beat my smark ass up. Five years later, there are literally hundreds of people who know me as Jingus but have no clue what my real name is.

[death_by_burrito 0]

I've been Burrito since like 4th grade. I'm almost 20 and people I've known since then come up to me and ask what my real name is.

 

I don't see the connection between a full stomach and clumsiness. I don't fall over after I eat a hearty bowl of clam chowder.

 

Perhaps cum has the power to throw a womans balance off if enough is ingested. Either way, it was a good burn.

[Boner Kawanger 0]

I have a soft spot for my friend's drunken insult "you dog murdering son of a bitch".

[Nighthawk 0]

Earlier tonight I called someone, in very rapid succesion, Dictator Dick, Sultan Suck, Master Bater, Prince Piss, Baron Balls, Corporal Queer, Sergeant Shaft, Emperor Enema, Admiral Ass and Coach Crotch. The fast paced delivery and fact that I was yelling like an enraged drunk made it quite funny. You sort of had to be there.

[Guest Joshua A. Norton]

I'm partial to calling people "gayrod".

[Boner Kawanger 0]

Earlier tonight I called someone, in very rapid succesion, Dictator Dick, Sultan Suck, Master Bater, Prince Piss, Baron Balls, Corporal Queer, Sergeant Shaft, Emperor Enema, Admiral Ass and Coach Crotch. The fast paced delivery and fact that I was yelling like an enraged drunk made it quite funny. You sort of had to be there.

I'd say you have the only one that DOESN'T need the "you sorta had to be there".

[Modern Man's Hustle 0]

I called my ex last night and told her that if she didn't give me a birthday present I was never going to have sex with her ever again.

[Ted the Poster 0]

That'll show her.

[Modern Man's Hustle 0]

It will. It's a great insult because it's insulting to her character that I, being of a lesser level of attraction, would cut her, being of a much higher tier of attraction, off from the act of sex.

[Mole 0]

Earlier tonight, my friend Sana (who is kind of a slut) was walking in the suite, slipped on some water and fell on her ass.

 

I then yelled "You fell because you have so much cum in your stomach."

 

I didn't get laughter from my friends for a good 3 minutes because they had the "OMG" faces on.

I don't see the connection between a full stomach and clumsiness. I don't fall over after I eat a hearty bowl of clam chowder.

Come on everyone knows that.

 

Just like using too much baby powder gives you the HIV. Well atleast someone told me that.