Lockdown comments

[Toshiaki Koala 0]

I was considering saying, in my promo, "men like Toshiaki Kawada and Shinobu Kandori," but Kandori is somewhat more obscure than Aja, as well as more feminine and not so great a worker.

[Mr. S£im Citrus 0]

You'd better hope that you can talk Johnny into retiring then,

More like you hope we never reform Justice and Rule...

Yeah right; more like you and Ejiro decided to pull a Shawn Michaels and "lose your smile" before you could do the job...

[Secret Agent 0]

Martial Law. If you guys want to show up on the website as SWF Tag Team Champions I'd suggest you make the Martial Law tag team on the site. Hurry up, before I keep the belts on W&D and we beat the all time record!

[Mr. S£im Citrus 0]

Well, I can't access Word from this computer, so no HOLT tonight, but at least you get this garbage:

 

==================

 

Danny Williams eats too many Strong Style Ribs and raw sushi before bedtime...

 

Something I can't imagine Danny writing himself... is nevertheless quite funny, if a little disturbing; I don't really keep up on the world of Puroresu, but the thought of Stan Hansen being so over with Japanese fans that he could spit a "gallon" of chaw on a reporter, and they'd pose for the other reporters like it was the greatest thing ever amuses me... And a whistle that summons the re-animated corpse of Giant Baba? This must have been written by Drea, because I can't imagine anybody else being able to come up with something like this without consuming massive quantities of many different mind-altering substances. Very entertaining opener, if it ends up being a little out of place with the tone of the rest of the show.

 

 

 

 

Funyon is multi-talented

 

Not much to see here; interesting choice of an "Anthem." Other than that, see my last comment from the first segment.

 

 

 

 

Toxxic says stuff...

 

Toxxic is interviewed by Ben Hardy, who asks him for comment regarding how he slapped Melissa Fasaki up... Toxxic, in his own cheeky way, says something that basically amounts to "the bitch had it comin'." Toxxic then goes on to compare Ejiro to Johnny Dangerous in the "huh?" moment of the evening... Apparently, England thinks that Ben should try to put Jet out of business, or something...

 

 

 

 

IL, Spike and the newb get into a little 3-way action...

 

King starts off making a Freudian slip, and then trying to play it off; cute... I'm a little curious as to how IL ran all the way down the ramp and caught two guys off-guard, when he's not all that fast to begin with, but that's just a minor peeve... Rodgers channels Naitch, which seems an oddly poor choice for a hardcore match to me, and then assaults IL with plastic cutlery... IL seems uncharacteristically to be more successful against the Cruiserweight Spike than against the Hardcore Rodgers... IL turns the tables on his opponents when they whiff on a chair spot that's so cool that I intend to steal it some time soon... IL wins with an Evenflow DDT on Spike, and I can't help but notice that IL has a very... unorthodox way of portraying his character...

 

 

 

 

Pretzler says stuff...

 

Pretzler hates WC because his free-wheeling, high-flying style spits on the legacy of wrestling, and I think I've heard this one before... drops a few names, and then questions Aja Kong's sexuality... tells an uncomfortable story about how he pisses Dr. Pepper, or something... talks some more shit, and then runs like a bitch when WC finds him; good stuff...

 

 

 

 

The Mak takes on the Dean

 

Mak comes down to the ring in Oakley's, and I still shake my head at that... I asked one of the kids who works for me, and assures me that he is up to date on "what's hood," and he says that the brothers in the hood don't wear Oakleys, so I don't know what's up with that... Mak and Hawke are honored with STREAMERS~!, because you can't have a show in Japan without STREAMERS~! King rubs one out as he marvels at Hawke's technical expertise... Mak tries to turn it into a brawl, but a wrestling match breaks out, anyway... they go all quick-covery and stuff, until Hawke finally takes control with a lariat... Hawke does mad crazy arm work, and then King makes a bad Cutthroat pun... In what I can only presume is a satire of puro, Mak does a remarkable delayed no-sell of a backdrop driver, and manages to kick Jay in the face before falling back down; man, Hogan matches would have been hella more entertaining if have done that every once in a while, to mix it up. In fact, he should have done that at Wrestlemania 5; no-sell Macho's elbow, hulk up, hit the Big Boot, and then collapse... Eddy Long delivers the count in Japanese; apparently the fact that neither the wrestlers, nor the referee, nor the show the match is being broadcast on are Japanese is important... Strangely enough, every time I read the count going on, I kept having flashbacks to the first grade, when Mrs. Johns taught us about Japan; we learned how to count to ten in Japanese, and even sang a "kilifish" counting song. We also learned how to sing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" in Japanese, although I couldn't remember the words to save my ass... We had a little party in class where we drank tea and ate rice crackers; we even gave a little production in front of the whole school. Miyoshie Brown did a little performance while we sang the "Sakura" song; she had a crush on me... I wonder what she's doing now... Anyway, Mak wins with the Franchise Tag... yeah.

 

 

 

 

Toyota Mitsubishi vs Samsung Nintendo!

 

Pretzler starts things off with a cheap shot, and they roll around for a while... Buck no-sells the Indy Stand-Off~! Which reminds me: the opening bell rang awfully late into that match, didn't it? Buck takes control, but Pretzler turns the tables when Buck stops to pose... Pretzler steals Rodgers' bit and channels Flair, and we learn that King is loaded off the sauce... Pretzler escapes from the Buck-Wild Ride, and I still flinch every time I see that in writing... Buck powers his way out of the Snowflake Clutch, and the two take the fight outside... where it stays, as the ref counts both men out.

 

 

 

 

E.F. Hutton Says STUFF~!

 

Ejiro channels Triple H and proclaims that it's all about the RULE~! He's going to strip Toxxic naked... or something...

 

 

 

 

Say What?!

 

Minor quibble #1: The last TLC match was at Battleground 2003; At FTF '03, I wrestled Jay Dawg in a cage, and Johnny was UA... Maddix tries to CHEAT TO WIN~! before the match even starts... Griffon and Manson don't take kindly to that, and channel Demolition as they put the beatdown on Cortez, before Maddix decides to dive outside of the ring from the top of the ladder... the next big highspot comes when WC knocks down Manson and both members of Martial Law outside the ring with a corkscrew plancha... Manson eats a chair to the face outside the ring, via a baseball slide from Cortez, who then hits him flush a second time... Cortez dumps Griffon over the top and out of the ring to stop a supeplex on WC, only to try to hit one himself, but Johnny makes the save, and Cortez eats a Dangerous Drop... Maddix backdrops WC onto the ladder... Maddix, in the words of Jesse Ventura, hits Johnny with a slingshot suplex, "only he leaves out the suplex," and RUNS into a chairshot from Manson... Wild and Dangerous agree to help Martial Law out with a chair-assisted Collision Course on Archie Griffon... But their fingers were crossed... WHAM! Both men run into chairshots! Highspot #3 (sorta) comes when ML turn the tables on Johnny, and Maddix hits the Goomba stomp off the ladder...Cortez counters a Manson whip into the Hollow Point... but inadvertantly knocks him into the ladder, which sends his own partner flying... Minor quibble #2: WC wears braids, which, strangely enough, are not the same as dreadlocks; dreadlocks are much thicker, and usually longer... sweet spot where Johnny pulls Maddix off of Griffon's back, as he was attempting Crash Landon, and hits him with a neckbreaker onto chairs... Highspot #4 comes when Megan Skye runs into the ring to give ML another ladder, and Cortez procedes to hit the Urban Assault on WC from across two ladders... Manson and Griffon 3-D Johnny through a table, and you had to see that coming... WC apparently bleeds, which would be Minor quibble #3, but I'll let it slide... Maddix low-blows WC, and then hits a senton splash from the top rope to the floor, through a table, onto Griffon, for Highspot #5... We go straight to the Big Finish~! as Cortez DDT's Johnny off the ladder, Maddix pushes WC backwards off the ladder, then pushes Manson and his own partner off the second ladder, with Cortez flying all the way out of the ring for Highspot #6, and Maddix takes the belts to finally win Tag Team Gold.

 

 

 

 

RUUUUUUUUUUULE~!

 

I'm curious: who are the Number One and Number Two contenders?

 

Toxxic tries to end the match right away with the Fingerpoke of DOOM~! But Ejiro no-sells, and breaks the little fucker! Ejiro gets downright uncouth with Toxxic's hand, taking the fight outside the ring, and hurting it something awful... Toxxic briefly takes control, but Rule goes right back to the hand, and you just don't see psychology like that anymore... Toxxic finally takes control when he reverses a whip into a drop toehold, and then discovers all kinds of fun ways to dish out punishment without using his hands... Toxxic hits Rule with a headbutt, which only makes him Hulk up, or Fasaki up, if you weeeel... Ejiro piledrives Toxxic, and he doesn't die, proving that we are, in fact, in Japan, and not Memphis... Toxxic takes over again after backdropping Ejiro outside the ring, and ends up applying a cravat to Fasaki, which is apparently something entirely different from what I thought it was... Toxxic hits the Rude Awakening twice, and goes for a third, but Ejiro counters... Ejiro sends Toxxic outside the ring, and stomps a mudhole in his ass, but has to put him back in the ring before he can walk it dry... Toxxic lures Ejiro into the corner and stuns him with a kick, and follows with a European uppercut... He punches Ejiro in the face, but remembers to sell the hand, like a good punk should... He lays in some elbows and kicks, until Ejiro kneecaps him... Toxxic counters a slam and hits the Underkill for... the first near-fall of the night??? Shitty moonsault gets two... Toxxic goes for the headbutt again, and this time Ejiro sells, so he hits a few more, and then hits a DDT... for two... TSS gets 2.9... Toxxic goes for the Intoxxication, but can't get the lift... Screaming Elbow... Ejirocution... and Rule's going for a chair! "Tiger Kivell" snatches the chair out of Ejiro's hands, but as he goes to put it back outside the ring... it's the Memphis Chain~! But it's still not enough... Cobra Crossface gets the decisive victory, and Ejiro becomes the first former Champion to regain the title after taking more than a year off... except for one small problem: Ejiro ain't quite done...

 

 

Well, at least we lost the tag titles to a good match. Two thumbs up.

[The Ill One 0]

Oh it was far from intentionally being unorthodox- I just rushed my ass to finish the match and try to fill in-between spots. So it was more like "Alright, I got two big spots, twenty minutes- let's go~!" Explanation far from defense (I e-piss on it).

 

Having said that- pretty soon I'll edit in the rest of the show's comments.

[Guest Goodear]

Right... Number one contender = International Champion and Number two = Johnny Dangerous. It felt kind of cool to lift that from an old Terry Funk-Ric Flair grudge match where they made it clear that Terry wasn't the number one contender. Fake rankings are fun to manipulate

 

Cravate is basically the hold where it looks like you're going for the diamond cutter but instead of dropping down you just wrench the neck with it. YUP.

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0]

I use the cravate all the time in my matches. It's a different variation of a headlock, basically.

[Angel_Grace_Blue 0]

I didn't write the opener.

 

And Scotty wrote the first half of our no-contest, and I didn't care enough to ask him about the late bell (Which came after a pin attempt).

 

Blorky McBlork!

[Ace309 0]

Danny wrote the opener... unless, of course, someone hacked his account. (I took the liberty of adjusting the punctuation on the last line and italicizing the "Brought to you by" bit, for dramatic effect.) I stuck it in the beginning because it was reminiscent, to me, of the WWE PPV commercials. Vince's Rumble dream, anyone?

 

As for "Yakuza" being the national anthem of Japan, well, take that up with the Emperor, not me.

 

I would like to take this opportunity to profess my bitter hatred for both Ejiro and Toxxic. This was a difficult decision, based partly on the fact that (as Toxxic pointed out) Ejiro had the character momentum coming into the match. I also feel the word limit potentially handicapped Toxxic, who came in right on the button but turned in a match that felt a little stretched out. Ejiro's was a bit shorter, but I think he captured the right amount of action in the right amount of words. The biggest problem, I thought, was the portrayal of Ejiro at the beginning of Toxxic's match as "just barely keeping control of himself." I couldn't see Ejiro acting that way. Unfortunately, I think Toxxic got painted into a corner here, as far as character development dictating what happened, and lost a game of Stump the Champ. (For reference, see Thor's entire JL career.)

 

On the other hand, Ejiro's match was fan-fucking-tastic, and the fact that he wrote exactly what he should have written shouldn't affect that at all.

[Toshiaki Koala 0]

*Reads match again*

 

HAHAHAHA! The bell comes after a pin attempt. Awesome!

[Toxxic 0]

You have a point Tom, but it doesn't really matter. I did very much feel that having taken out Ejiro's sister (remind me - why did I agree to that again? ) I should be losing the match, but I'd had a second good run as champ so it didn't bother me. Besides, this was the first time that someone has had a REALLY strong storyline coming into a title match to take the belt from me (Mike's would have been good, but that was entirely set up so I could retire him, so it doesn't count!).

 

As for the match - I re-read it when I was done and didn't like it at all. It seemed flat and without life. BUT I didn't have time to redo it when I finished. I also never really got across what I intended to very well, as Ejiro didn't keep control of himself for very long anyway, and the difference between Ejiro in check and Ejiro letting rip wasn't big enough. Finally... I WAS handicapped by the word limit, but only because my original match that I wrote a plan for would have checked in at well over 8k!

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0]

Besides, this was the first time that someone has had a REALLY strong storyline coming into a title match to take the belt from me (Mike's would have been good, but that was entirely set up so I could retire him, so it doesn't count!).

I never had a title match...you bastard.

[Mr. S£im Citrus 0]

Cravate is basically the hold where it looks like you're going for the diamond cutter but instead of dropping down you just wrench the neck with it. YUP.

Ohh... "cravate." I thought that you'd said "cravat," which is something that I don't even associate with wrestling at all...

[Mr. S£im Citrus 0]

Danny wrote the opener... unless, of course, someone hacked his account.

You shittin' me? Danny wrote that?

 

Huh; and here I'd always thought of him as having a more anemic sense of humor than even me...

[Ace309 0]

Danny's got a very solid sense of humor, as evidenced by things that happened before you got here, eg, his tag match with Strangler early in the Wilson M7 run (where no one believed that he'd written the very, very nice commentary). The problem is that in his last run he mostly only let it show when he was written into a corner - for example, he wrote a match (I think it was against me, but maybe I'm Hoganing) where he ran out of time on the intros and finish and basically wrote the entire finish based on hulking up. He had written an entirely unviable match, because the lack of a finish hurt his strength - stone-faced psychology that makes the other match sob about its inadequacy - but he saw fit to throw on an amusing finish just to show King.

 

EDIT: For your perusal.

Edited May 22, 2005 by Ace309

[Toxxic 0]

Besides, this was the first time that someone has had a REALLY strong storyline coming into a title match to take the belt from me (Mike's would have been good, but that was entirely set up so I could retire him, so it doesn't count!).

I never had a title match...you bastard.

Hey, not my fault Spike. I asked CC for a match with you and they never even let us go at it non-title, let alone give you a title shot. And all you had to do was beat Mak in the final match of your series and we'd have faced each other at Battleground.

 

And Tom - I remember Danny reposting that match. The one where he hulked up at the end TO LIFT AND SLAM THE WHOLE 219lbs OF TOM FLESHER! UNBELIEVABLE!!

[Guest Goodear]

Yes I did manage to rangle Toxxic into a nice little writing corner but you can always turn that around on someone by being a complete cowardly bastard or something. The 'problem' with the Toxxic character is that he really doesn't heel it up at all and is pretty much a bad person who doesn't do a whole lot of bad things. Contrast that with mean old Ejiro being a complete bastard and acting just like it ... you end up with the match I wrote. Except I was a bit worried that I didn't give Toxxic enough to do as far character and such beyond the punching Ejiro with the bad hand and not caring :-/

 

And Toxxic ... you only agreed to the injury angle after much cajoling and such... I actually had you just splattering her by accident until you said, "Okay, I'll headbutt her." HOISTED... PITARD... YOU.

[Mr. S£im Citrus 0]

Thanks Ejiro, for providing a perfect explanation for something that I tried and failed to articulate months ago, which is basically that Toxxic, as a heel, is too un-heel-like for his own good.

[Toxxic 0]

But is that really consistent? I mean, I love a good heel as much as anyone else but I find the whole fan-friendly/arsehole swerve to be a bit far-fetched. A wrestler who is a hero when a face and a cowardly, snivelling scumbag as a heel (see Hogan, Hulk) may excel in the roles but there's no believability to it. What brings about these drastic personality changes? Especially over a career of several years, where they might turn face and heel several times? I mean, I can understand someone undergoing a major change in their lives that might completely shake their whole outlook up, but several times?

 

I suppose what I'm coming down to is this; Landon as a face works because he's essentially very similar to Landon as a heel - he just does heelish things to heels, so the fans like him. The entire reason Landon turned was because he was screwed with by Uber-Heel the Suicide King, and therefore aligned himself with Uber-face Mark Stevens. Raynor as a heel worked in a very similar way to Raynor as a face - or so I understand, as in he still didn't cheat - he was just gunning for the Uber-face Edwin MacPhisto. The methodology didn't change much, but they opposed themselves to someone more over than them (for lack of a better term) and therefore were 'assigned' the opposite role.

 

Toxxic was debuted as a face, and was meant to remain such for quite a while. I turned heel because Z was desperate for heels on the roster than weren't the Unnamed... and we turned him heel by putting him in direct opposition to Mark Stevens. Toxxic thought he was wronged and turned on Stevens, so he was immediately classed as a heel. This meant that he no longer received any sort of respect from fans or wrestlers, so he basically went 'well, screw you' and carried on doing his own thing. He still believes that everything he did (well, mostly everything) was right and justified. He's not REALLY a heel (an odd thing to say in his position i suppose), he's more of a face that went wrong.

 

I realise this doesn't make him any easier to write against, but perhaps it shows that I'm not just trying to be difficult?

[Above Average 0]

Well, I can't access Word from this computer, so no HOLT tonight, but at least you get this garbage:

 

The Mak takes on the Dean

 

Mak comes down to the ring in Oakley's, and I still shake my head at that... I asked one of the kids who works for me, and assures me that he is up to date on "what's hood," and he says that the brothers in the hood don't wear Oakleys, so I don't know what's up with that...

Thought I should respond so that we can clear this up and I don't lose my card carrying membership of being "hood" like Cuba Gooding did after making Snow Dogs.

 

The ice blue oakly's and my other accessory are a homage of sorts to someone, going way back to the JL. I could go find the promo but it had the title "Mentors" if you really want to get the general idea. In fact I'll edit in a link since it ended up being my character defining promo in the JL and got a suprising amount of reviews. Atleast I was surprised, so I ran with it. I guess I could have made them Ruby Red Juilets if I REALLY wanted to bash people over the head with it, but that'd be stealing. It's just one of those small things that stuck and made sense...

 

EDIT:Promo: Mentors...

Edited May 23, 2005 by Above Average