101 Reasons the SWF Kicks Ass: The Thread

[Chuck Woolery]

1.) It's the only e-wrestling federation on the internet where the former World champion will give the head booker advice on removing wine stains from his carpet.

 

2.) It's the only e-wrestling federation that is for the kids.

 

keep 'em coming...

[Mr. S£im Citrus]

3) Written matches kick RP's ass, and take their lunch money.

 

4) Kingmas.

[JJ Johnson]

5. ARM-bar. It had to be done.

 

 

6. House rules matches. The Hate Me Now match, Calvinball, etc.

[Angel_Grace_Blue]

7. Bitter old raving lunatics (Muzz, myself)

[Mr. S£im Citrus]

Why Drea, I never thought of you as either bitter or old...

 

8. Clusterfuck (a PITA to write, but always a great read).

[Justice]

9) It actually focuses on the fact that it's a WRESTLING SHOW rather than being a soap opera for people who like to hit people with objects.

[JJ Johnson]

10. And if you don't like wrestling, we have a show where people DO hit people with objects!

 

 

11. Cold Front Classic > King of the Ring

[Toxxic]

Did the baking soda work, Mike?

 

12. The workrate - consistent SWF writers churn out more wordage in a month than most novelists.

 

13. Or a gun.

[JHawk]

14. The longest title reign of any kind is under six months, and nobody ever bitches about titles changing hands too quickly.

[Toxxic]

This man clearly wasn't here for the 'The World Title Is A Whore' year, aka 2004.

 

15. LARIATOOOOOOOOOOOO~!

 

16. Headlocks are sold.

[Mr. S£im Citrus]

17. Finishers are sold (by everybody but Silent)

[JJ Johnson]

18. Joining guarantees you a title shot of some sort.

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins]

19. Me.

[Rawknight]

20) Natasha

 

21) Natasha's pic base http://www.bouff.tv

[janusd]

22) There's no holding anybody down.

 

23) The knowledge we were so good we had the SJL, too.

[chirs3]

24) Fuvolution.

 

25) Thoth's Audio Show.

[JJ Johnson]

26) The Pope has jobbed, CLEAN, to the Cruiserweight Champion.

 

 

 

27) No overpushed, untalented hosses.

[the.weej]

28) Few places on the internet, anywhere, have a greater capacity to wage and win successful flamewars.

 

29) Equal opportunity employment. Not just for women, children, minorities, gays, lesbians and filthy Australians, but all manners of scum and villiany from across the internet. (Furries, anime geeks, etc)

 

30) The friendliest dictators anywhere!

 

-Z

[the.weej]

31) 35,203 words over 115 pages: the longest match ever written and a symbol to our insane dedication to this stupid little game. Of course, it never should've won in the first place, but nevermind. (not that I'm still bitter)

 

War Games, for those of you who don't remember.

 

-Z

[Mr. S£im Citrus]

26) The Pope has jobbed, CLEAN, to the Cruiserweight Champion.

“It… was… a… screwjob!”

 

 

 

32) Danny Williams Strong Style Ribs

[JJ Johnson]

The Pope screwed the Pope.

 

 

*becomes uber heel authority figure, feuds with antihero, takes SWF to never-before-seen heights*

 

 

Umm...

 

 

33) A wide variety of in-ring styles. Lucha, UFC, All Japan, old school, etc.

 

 

34) Danny Williams in general

[Golgo 13]

35) Mansonosity. I know you're not sick of it yet.

[Bruce Blank]

36 - Crimson Skull & Heff

 

37 - Heff & Crimson Skull

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins]

38. Tom Flesher.

[chirs3]

39) FAO Schwarz

[JJ Johnson]

40) "Carless" Mark Jindrak

[janusd]

41) Chrissy Stardust.

 

42) Mall Brawl.

 

43) SWF Action Figures. We had them at one point. I swear.

[Mr. S£im Citrus]

44) Justice and Rule t-shirts.

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins]

45. D@mnation in a Box.

[Angel_Grace_Blue]

46. "And a very special, 'hey, good looking' to Spike Jennyk, Jennyk, Jenkins"

 

47. "Hello, is Charlie Matthews there? This is 'Grand Slam' Mark Stevens of the SWF." "Oh my fucking God, you're kidding me."