SWF GENESIS VI CARD

[The Ill One]

...

 

*Scoop slams*

[JJ Johnson]

*no-sells Drea's kick with AUTHORITY*

 

 

 

*throws ninja stars shaped like maple leaves*

[Toxxic]

Not the fucking robot, Todd. We'll have Ghost Machine claiming gimmick infringement.

 

*stabs you all with umbrella before donning trilby*

 

What ho.

[Zack Malibu]

I'll just set him on fire and attempt to drown him in the penis fountain again.

[JJ Johnson]

*Tiger Drivers TOXXICRU off Giant Gonzales through a flaming Cortez*

[Toxxic]

Wait! An unprovoked Giant Gonzales comment!

 

*looks around for Drea*

 

*slaps J3 silly with armour-plated trilby while I wait*

 

Tally ho.

[Zack Malibu]

::pees self to put fire out, shoves dirty clothes into JJ's face. realizes he's now naked, and runs.::

[Toxxic]

*Takes picture*

 

More blackmail material. Heh heh.

[JJ Johnson]

Ah, but 'twas provoked, old bean. Drea had him eat my camel-looking thing from Empire Strikes Back.

 

 

 

...

 

 

 

 

 

 

...eh.

[Toxxic]

That's just what she wants you to think.

[JJ Johnson]

I no-sold her mind games, or I would have realized that.

 

 

*offers Toxxic bunny suit*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*calls Janus*

[Toxxic]

*digs pitfall trap for Janus and stands on the other side making bunny noises*

 

Mmm... fresh Aussie...

[JJ Johnson]

For irony's sake, you have to cook him on the barbie.

[Toxxic]

When he falls into the pitfall trap he becomes impaled on a stake. At which point I barbie him.

 

Then, after I've finished giving him a blonde wig, makeup and a 36-24-38 figure, I barbeque him.

[JJ Johnson]

Once you're done cooking him, send him to Africa. That's at least seven countries fed right there.

[Toxxic]

Only in kayfabe, sir. The real Janus weighs about as much as my left leg.

 

He's still furry though. And it sticks in yer teeth

 

*spits*

[ChrisMWaters]

Why is it when I decide to come back to SWF, things get REALLY weird on me?

[JJ Johnson]

I never said how big the portions were. I just said that was seven countries fed.

 

 

*Somewhere in darkest Africa...*

 

 

"You get...a thumbnail"

 

 

 

" "

[Toxxic]

Why is it when I decide to come back to SWF, things get REALLY weird on me?

 

 

Because we love you.

 

*moves to other side of pitfall trap*

 

Now come here. Ghana is still hungry.

[JJ Johnson]

Ghana gets a whole person?

 

 

 

 

 

Nigeria is gonna be pissed.

[Toxxic]

When is Nigeria NOT pissed, if we're honest?

 

The SWF: Making light of the international political sensation since we got bored waiting for GVI

[devo]

And let that be our legacy.

[JJ Johnson]

I remember that one time they weren't pissed.

 

What a wacky ten minutes THAT was!

[Angel_Grace_Blue]

*hits the Canadian man-child with a buffalo*

 

*makes a string quartet out of soup*

 

Intestines from Venus, comin' at'cha!

 

Edit because I see him reading the thread:

 

*molests Johnny with a salamander*

[Angel_Grace_Blue]

What? Now nobody wants to try and something or other after I with the thing? Bastards.

 

Speaking of which, there needs to be some sort of tag to denote a Peter Griffin-esque voice. Which I would have used on that previous 'bastards'.

[JJ Johnson]

I laughed so hard I cried while reading your new stats, if that makes you feel any better.

[Angel_Grace_Blue]

Then my work here is done.

 

Time to retire Jimmy the Doom, undefeated.

 

Except not. YOUR DOOM WILL COME SWIFT AND STRONG, LIKE A RIVER. A RIVER OF DOOM!

[JJ Johnson]

I demand that our next show be from Doomtopia.

[Angel_Grace_Blue]

But it's all brown, and there's no vegetation, and lava, and jagged rocks, and other stuff.

 

Besides, if Funyon sings the national anthem, the show will be delayed by a week and a half.

[JJ Johnson]

I don't know if I could stand a second show in a row being delayed a week and a half.