Did I Do The Right Thing

[Nighthawk 0]

But spanking is in the Bible. Although they were really talking more about caning... So that supports my stance.

[Krankor 0]

The past 2 pages of this thread have just been everyone quoting each other and not making any retort about what they quoted.

 

Frombeyondthegrave, quoting only a portion of a text to suit your argument is never a good way to get your point across. Especially when the entire original text is a mere 9 posts up.

[BruiserKC 0]

It only makes sense he quotes the part he claims to agree with...to actually use logic might blow out his remaining brain cells.

 

I'm pretty much done laughing at troll-boy now and more or less shake my head out of pure pity at how mixed up his world is. If he can get his point across to his kids without having to resort to spanking, so be it. But if it becomes his only possible option when all else has failed...maybe he'll see the other side.

 

On second though, nah...not so much.

[Big Ol' Smitty 0]

He quoted the part that was pertinent to the discussion. The rest was just my personal opinion.

[KTID 0]

There wasn't a discussion. Quoting someone, and then either adding something to their point or disputing their point, is a discussion. Just quoting someone is, well, nothing.

[Use Your Illusion 0]

While physically disciplining a child can prove to momentarily stop them from doing whatever it is they are doing wrong, I believe it rarely calls for the child to reflect on and think about why it is happening.

 

Any form of effective behaviour management lies in children understanding their rights, responsibilities, the rules and the consequences. If you can show a child that, by doing Action A, they are choosing Consequence B, then behaviour management can potentially be much easier to achieve. There are always exceptions, and speaking from an educator's point of view who does not have any children of his own obviously makes me unqualified to even begin to try to see this from the the point of the view of the parents. However, showing children that you respect them enough to sit down with them, decide on the rules together and settle on realistic and fitting consequences, is often one of the most effective things you can do to promote 'good' behaviour.

 

Children are not mind readers. They need to be explictly aware of the boundaries placed within their lives. Children thrive on boundaries, rules and justice. Often I was spanked as a child and I can definitely remember the actual spanking, but I cannot remember *why* it even happend. This is really my biggest issue with it (although, I will not deny that it definitely straightend my back up and made me reconsider whatever I did around my father). If children know exactly what consequence their action will garner, then they won't do it.

 

UYI

[Big Ol' Smitty 0]

While physically disciplining a child can prove to momentarily stop them from doing whatever it is they are doing wrong, I believe it rarely calls for the child to reflect on and think about why it is happening.

 

Any form of effective behaviour management lies in children understanding their rights, responsibilities, the rules and the consequences. If you can show a child that, by doing Action A, they are choosing Consequence B, then behaviour management can potentially be much easier to achieve. There are always exceptions, and speaking from an educator's point of view who does not have any children of his own obviously makes me unqualified to even begin to try to see this from the the point of the view of the parents. However, showing children that you respect them enough to sit down with them, decide on the rules together and settle on realistic and fitting consequences, is often one of the most effective things you can do to promote 'good' behaviour.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Somebody's been reading their Dreikurs?

 

Dreikurs advocates the use of "logical consequences" for misbehavior. He views arbitrary punishment as "illogical".

 

I think that all types of discipline can work. Depends on the child and the parent. There are uber-strict & ultra-lenient parents with fucked up kids. And there are, likewise, very strict & very lenient parents with great kids.

[Use Your Illusion 0]

Actually, my principles on behaviour mangement were founded from my own professional experiences over the past few years (meaning that they, technically, are not actually *my* principles at all).

 

Great little article that, though. Thanks.

[Nighthawk 0]

*clap, clap*

 

More drinks!

[Corey_Lazarus 0]

Lemme explain one thing about when my dad put fear into me:

He put the fear into me that if I were to cross him so much that he would resort to smacking me offside my head, it would hurt. Basic behavioral lesson, really. Re-enforce the positives with positive reactions, re-enforce the negative with negative reactions.

 

And so, troll, how old are you? Really, this means a lot. A lot more than you'd probably grasp without it being told to you.

 

Because, see, if you're under 20? You're basically looked at by young'uns as a "big kid." Kids will ALWAYS listen to other kids better than they listen to their parents. Fuck, my folks were rarely home after I turned 4, so my sister had a good hand in raising me (that and the TV, but that's another thread). Who did I always listen to more: my mother, my father, or my sister? If you guessed option C, the sister, then you're right, because I looked at her as a "big kid." See where I'm going with this? Kids will always listen to older kids because of the whole "us vs. them" mindset that so many young'uns go by.

 

Tell your little brother, the one you "raised," to eat paste because it's good for his digestion. He'd probably try it. If your folks tried doing it, he'd resist. Generational gaps are everything, man. Kids always try to push the boundaries with parental figures whereas they'll listen to those that are seen as their peers.

[Nighthawk 0]

Do YOU have kids? If not, then you know shit, and everyone should say that you should shut the fuck up. I don't either. That's why all I have to offer is jokes. I have a kid, but have never met him/her, because I threatened his mother with scissors.

[Guest FromBeyondTheGrave]

Frombeyondthegrave, quoting only a portion of a text to suit your argument is never a good way to get your point across. Especially when the entire original text is a mere 9 posts up.

You and Deep Thought have both done it twice in this thread. I quoted it for emphasis.

 

It only makes sense he quotes the part he claims to agree with

The rest of the post was bigolsmitty's own opinion. I quoted the part which you may not understand, or want to believe. "The research on spanking seems to indicate that, while it is good in producing short-term changes in behavior, it may have negative long-term developmental effects." Re-read that, I'm not going to take the easy option and hit my kids, to put my kids in danger of long-term developmental effects, you may choose not to believe that quote, and take the chance, because hitting your kids is working for you now, but I will not take that chance.

[Corey_Lazarus 0]

it's acceptable as long as it's not done with excessive force, is part of a "repertoire" of disciplinary methods and not the only method

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

See? I can do a partial quote to fit my argument, too.

 

EDIT:

Also, don't trust modern psychology as much as you are, man. It's been around for all of 100 years, whereas child-rearing methods that HAVE included spanking as a last resort punishment has been around for, oh, thousands. Let's figure it this way:

When was there more crime overall, in the 1950's or in the 1980's? Which generation likely spanked their kids more: the parents of those that were adults in the 1950's or the parents of those that were adults in the 1980's?

[Use Your Illusion 0]

Oh Jesus Christ, shut up.

[BruiserKC 0]

The way our troll friend Gravemeister makes it sound like, I wake up every morning and greet my children with a beating. He is apparently too blinded (or too ignorant) to see that I say spanking is a LAST resort...L-A-S-T, meaning final. I don't go looking to spank my children, I try other avenues of punishment first but always reserve a swat on the behind if all else fails.

 

It's like fighting. I hated to have to fight as a kid, but I realized sometimes it was the only way to solve a problem after all other efforts failed. Then, once the fight began, you bet I'd be kicking that person's ass all over the school yard or the park or wherever the brawl was taking place. This way he would think twice about starting shit with me ever again.

 

So, Gravemeister...put down the Kool-Aid and not just blindly buy into the Dr. Spocks of the world.

[Big Ol' Smitty 0]

Let's figure it this way:

When was there more crime overall, in the 1950's or in the 1980's? Which generation likely spanked their kids more: the parents of those that were adults in the 1950's or the parents of those that were adults in the 1980's?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

That's some seriously spurious correlation, duder.

 

Do you think more parents spanked their kids in the late 1930s or the year 2000?

 

(p. 4 of PDF)

[Guest FromBeyondTheGrave]

See? I can do a partial quote to fit my argument, too.

You qouted his opinion, I quoted the research part.

 

our troll friend Gravemeister

You're really lame.

 

once the fight began, you bet I'd be kicking that person's ass all over the school yard or the park or wherever the brawl was taking place. This way he would think twice about starting shit with me ever again.

Wave that big cock, wave it, you big strong man, you.

 

put down the Kool-Aid and not just blindly buy into the Dr. Spocks of the world.

Whatever, if there's a chance that spanking my kids will damage them, I'm not going to do it.

[Twisted Intestine 0]

Also, don't trust modern psychology as much as you are, man. It's been around for all of 100 years, whereas child-rearing methods that HAVE included spanking as a last resort punishment has been around for, oh, thousands. Let's figure it this way:

When was there more crime overall, in the 1950's or in the 1980's? Which generation likely spanked their kids more: the parents of those that were adults in the 1950's or the parents of those that were adults in the 1980's?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Also, don't trust modern psychology as much as you are, man. It's been around for all of 100 years, whereas child-rearing methods that HAVE included spanking as a last resort punishment has been around for, oh, thousands.

 

Heaven forbid we move towards the future!

 

Let's figure it this way:

When was there more crime overall, in the 1950's or in the 1980's? Which generation likely spanked their kids more: the parents of those that were adults in the 1950's or the parents of those that were adults in the 1980's?

 

Adults not spanking their children is the reason for higher crime rates? Here I thought it was poverty, guns, george bush, mexicans, errr.. scratch those last two. But you get my point.

[The Czech Republic 0]

Oh God, how did I miss this thread? I have no recollection of it whatsoever.

 

Anyway, I thought it's been pretty much proven that positive or negative reinforcement are more effective than punishment.

[Slayer 0]

Clearly you were too busy trolling other threads

[Failed Bridge 0]

Oh God, how did I miss this thread? I have no recollection of it whatsoever.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Surprising, because when it comes to TSM you check in on it a very day

[Sandman9000 0]

This needed to be the second post in this thread: