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Posted

Not just today but stupidest thing I've heard the whole week...maybe even the year...

 

 

"American is not a nationality it's just a location...no one here calls themselves American"

 

This was said by some American girl I met at some other forum...she insisted she wasn't American and was in fact Romanian because her parents were....dumb bitch.

 

Next

Posted

Not today, but recently, one of my friends was explaining why he didn't drink, citing how his dad's alcoholism affected his family... Anyway, this girl's response:

 

"Chill out and have a beer."

 

Some people.

Guest Agent of Oblivion
Posted

Has Halloween ever been on the same day as Friday the 13th?

Posted

"I'm Jim Sokolove. I need a hug."

 

Said by me during lunch today after seeing one of those terribly retarded Jim Sokolove commercials. For those that don't know, Jim Sokolove is an attorney that specializes in personal malpractice/accident suits on the prosecution side. The commercials are terribly acted and many of them are just flat-out retarded.

Posted

I'm going to be spending a week in New Jersey at the end of November for training for my new job and after training is over each day I was going to go into New York for some sight-seeing because I've never been there. Well my mom tells me to be careful because, and I quote, "There are kooky people there!"

 

I'm serious.

Posted

Them: I can't get his Alltel box off my computer, it keeps freezing!

Me: OK, Sounds like the DSL check up center, we...

Them: Whats a DSL?

Me:...The internet service you have with us....

Them: I have....Cable....Time Warner Cable...I've never had DSL...

Me: Then how in the world did you get the DSL Check Up Center?

Them: I don't know!

Me: Call Time Warner. Goodbye.

 

 

Them: My Screen keeps jumping around and getting resized.

Me: Ok...thats definantly not a problem with your internet service.

Them: Ok then, whats the problem?

Me: could be your monitor or...

Them: Whats a monitor?

Me: Your computer screen...

Them: ok

Me: Look around the edges or towards the bottom on that monitor. Does it have any buttons or knobs to adjust things?

Them: At the bottom I got the start button, at the top I got file...edit...view...

Me: No, not actually on the screen, but on the monitor, like the side of the box or the bottom.

Them: What's a monitor?

Me:.....That TV like box you have sitting on your desk.

Them: You mean my computer.

Me: Ok, sure...that box does it have any buttons or knobs?

Them: the start button?

Me: No, ok do you see your screen? your looking at it right?

Them: Yes

Me: Now does it have plastic around it?

Them: Yes

Me: Ok, on or on the edges of that plastic casing you should have some buttons.

Them: I got file...edit...view...favorites...

Me: Nevermind, we don't even support this...I suggest you call a friend over and have him look at it since you can't grasp the concept of a monitor, or call you computer manufacturer.

Them: you mean gateway?

Me: Yes, whoever made that computer.

Them: It says gateway right next to this light under my screen.

Me...yep...call them.

Posted

I have a million stories of retarded middle aged women and pissed off grannies. I hate them all.

 

The most common idiot move...thinking the DSL isn't working when someone's homepage has been changed to about:blank. happens all the time.

Posted
that's exactly why I couldn't have a job that deals directly with customers...

Where do you work anyways? And what do you do there?

Posted

FINE, I'll just have to find out on my own....*continues his lushus watching* :ph34r:

Posted

I once made a joke about having a sandwich with "raw toast".

 

This one girl who obviously didn't think it through said "You eat it RAW? That's GROSS!"

Posted
for who...doing what...could you be less vague?

no offense to you, we get along just fine, of course, but I don't like to get THAT personal with folks on amessage board...

He didn't ask for your cocksize

Posted

"I watch this on commercial to all woman there ! when you like to dry up youre nail polish quickly soak youre fingers to a cold iced water for 10 -20 seconds and youre done ready for the next task!

 

anyone can share a quick fix here?"

Posted
for who...doing what...could you be less vague?

 

no offense to you, we get along just fine, of course, but I don't like to get THAT personal with folks on amessage board...

 

He's a drug dealer.

Posted

Well I didn't hear any of this today but I've worked at a couple of pizza places.

At Mazzio's before you could put someone's order into the computer you needed their phone number to pull up the order form. So it'd be like:

 

Me: Thank you for calling mazzio's. Can I have your telephone number?

 

Them: Yeah my address is.....blah blah blah.....and I want a *insert order here*

 

Me: I need your telephone number first.

 

Them: Why do you need that!? I just told you my order!

 

And of course there was the guy that asked if he could have those round red things on his pizza.

 

And there is a no subsitution rule at just about every pizza place. But you still get people calling in with "I have a coupon for a 9.99 supreme. I want to take everything off of that and in it's place add......"

Posted
for who...doing what...could you be less vague?

 

no offense to you, we get along just fine, of course, but I don't like to get THAT personal with folks on amessage board...

 

He's a drug dealer.

 

Hey, what's with all the questions huh?? Lushus works at an honest business making an honest living like the rest of us. You asked and he told you enough. Yous knows enough ya hear? Yous knows enough

 

Ralphie, show these nice people to their cars...take em the long way.

Guest Agent of Oblivion
Posted

I rip off Yogi Berra every time someone asks me what time it is.

 

Hey Gene, what time is it?

 

Me: "You mean now"?

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