WWE Wants Shelton Benjamin's "Mama"

[Guest wootman]

WWE has put out a casting call yesterday through casting websites looking for a character to play, as they put it, "SHELTON BENJAMIN'S MAMA / Co-Star / Female / African Am / 50-60 Shelton Benjamin's Mama - 50's, Black, heavy set, good personality, willing to travel." They say that the character will be used three to six months, with pay "to be determined". They noted that "This woman will travel all over the country/world to perform for the "Raw" shows. -PWInsider.com

Edited December 7, 2005 by wootman

[ChrisMWaters 0]

WWE has put out a casting call yesterday through casting websites looking for a character to play, as they put it, "SHELTON BENJAMIN'S MAMA / Co-Star / Female / African Am / 50-60 Shelton Benjamin's Mama - 50's, Black, heavy set, good personality, willing to travel." They say that the character will be used three to six months, with pay "to be determined". They noted that "This woman will travel all over the country/world to perform for the "Raw" shows. -PWInsider.com

 

Too bad Sapphire's dead, she'd fit perfectly for the role.

[Enigma 0]

This is sure to be a success.

[Black Lushus 0]

*groan*

[Cheech Tremendous 0]

I've avoided jumping on the bandwagon, but it needs to be said now more than ever...

 

Poor Shelton

[razazteca 0]

Damn why must he use Ernest Miller's gimmick?

[Dangerous A 0]

There are no words.

[jwpeer 0]

Some Mod needs to change the Title of this thread to

 

 

"Poor Shelton"

[Matt Young 0]

Will she smoke menthol cigarettes and call everyone "chile"?

[nl5xsk1 0]

No, there are words: 4 to be precise.

 

"Fuck that. I quit."

[Guest Fook]

No good can come of this.

[razazteca 0]

Don't forget to eat your chunky soup.

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

Let's hope they steal liberally from "Trish Stratus: 50 Year Old Black Woman".

[Dangerous A 0]

Honestly, we should wait and see if they pull the trigger on this, but if they do, then just, fuck.

 

They looked to be doing a perfectly slow build to a heel turn last monday and then this news breaks. Just, shit man.

 

Maybe Shelton can secure a release and wait the 90 days or whatever before WWE permanently fucks up his career.

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

Let's hope they get the actress from the Chappelle show.

 

"Oh that's my Robert, always pissin on people"

[Gary Floyd 0]

Goddamnit. They are just trying to destroy his career.

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

Will she smoke menthol cigarettes and call everyone "chile"?

 

I was about 2 years ahead of you on that.

 

"Wouldn't she say "baby girl" if she was a 50 year old black woman?"

 

I thought the prerequisites would being old and black, but apparently that's not stopping Trish from playing the part.

 

I think she might come out on RAW with curlers in her hair and maybe a rolling pin in-hand, making comments like "don't make me break my foot off in y'ass, chile'" Using words like "sweet pea" and going on and on about her "menthols" and sweet potato pie.

 

Trish: OOOOOh, you done it now hun, I'm gonna beat you like I beat my 4th chile Marvin. Oooh that Marvin, he got himself arrested fo breakin into the ol Matheson house and I had to come down to the pooleece department at fo o'clock in the mornin in my bathrobe and bail him out and spent 200 dollas of my rumours and menthol money - cause we all have our vices and rumours and menthols are mine, girl - and for a straight month I had to go around smokin these lil things and readin from discarded papers and I whooped him good everyday for that whole month with the channel changer. And now I'm about to do the same to you!

 

No one has greater insight into the mind of a 50 year old black woman than me, a 23 year old white boy.

[Boon 0]

Let's hope they get the actress from the Chappelle show.

 

"Oh that's my Robert, always pissin on people"

"Oh that's my Shelton, always jobbin' out to people."

[benoit4hor 0]

I hate WWE creative.

[Open the Muggy Gate 0]

I could see RRR making something hilarious out of this.

[benoit4hor 0]

Running from tha police, that's right

Momma catch me--put a whoop'en to my backside

And even as a crack fiend mama,

Ya always was a black queen mama

I finally understand for a woman

It ain't easy--trying ta raise a man

Ya always wuz commited, a poor single mother on welfare,

Tell me how ya did it

There's no way i can pay ya back

But tha plan is ta show ya that i understand.

You are appreciated......

[Matt Young 0]

Will she smoke menthol cigarettes and call everyone "chile"?

 

I was about 2 years ahead of you on that.

 

Where do you think I got the idea from?

 

Parody writing RRR>>>>>bitter, jaded, MMA is better than WWE troll RRR.

 

I would likea link to that topic, though.

Edited December 7, 2005 by Matt Young

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

This will get over huge.

 

Sheldon will turn heel and develop this attitude problem, so his Mama will be forced to come to the WWE to straighten him out. She'll invariably have to carry a rolling pin in her hand and have curlers in her hair, and along the way, she'll straighten out the rest of the locker room.

 

"Boogeyman, why do you have to be so strange?"

 

"I am THE BOOGEYMAN! HAHAHA. I come from the darkest recesses of your mind to tormet you! HAHAHA"

 

"Oh now stop that tomfoolery before I got upside yo head with this rollin pin. Now what would your mother say if she were here? Huh? She'd be disgusted and ashamed. Now are you gonna stop, or am I gonna have to call your mother and tell her what you've been up to?"

 

"Yes, m'am. Sorry, ma'am"

 

"Now c'mon and help me make some cornbread for the rest of the superstars, it must be some tiresome work bein a rassler."

 

"It is ma'am"

 

"And what's with all that make up? Do you put that on yourself? That must take an awful amount of time to do"

 

"Very much, ma'am. I've gotten pretty good at it..."

 

"Yes you have" *rubs Boogeymans head as he smiles*

[The Czech Republic 0]

I could see RRR making something hilarious out of this.

HE ALREADY DID, TWO YEARS BEFORE THE FACT

 

Can't you people read?

[Quit Calling My Mama 0]

Um, his real mother already appeared on Raw during those vignettes about his youth.

 

Yeah, let's just ignore that.

[Guest God Junior]

For some reason I don't see this being too horrible. I know I really should, but I can't bring myself to. I guess I just don't really care any more; having only just gotten back into wrestling after a 2-year absence, I'm no longer attached to the WWE's product enough to lament the trainwreck; I just let myself enjoy it.

Edited December 7, 2005 by God Junior

[Naked Snake 0]

Nevermind, I didn't know what I was thinking by responding.

[The Czech Republic 0]

I'm imagining the Pine-Sol lady

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

Oh shit, this is going to be just like the movie Eddie, where Whoopi Goldberg (Eddie) brings in Stacy Pattons mother who sets him (and her) straight.

 

Sheldon Benjamin is going to be Stacy Patton!

[benoit4hor 0]

Why do you keep calling him Sheldon?