What has comic books taught you?

[Vampiro69 0]

I figure that we could make a list of what we have learned from comic books.

 

1. I learned that my Earth-2 counterpart was a better person then me.

 

2. If you have a mutant power you are more then likely hotter then hell.

 

Lets see how big of a list we can make.

[Special K 0]

3. If you're a foreigner, you likely speak perfect English, but know several common phrases in your native language.

[Vampiro69 0]

4. You must have contingency plans in case your friends turn against you.

[Vampiro69 0]

5. You must always be prepared in case Anti-Matter enters the Earth.

[Guest netslob]

6. exposure to radiation/radioactivity won't kill you, just mutate you in some way. usually within seconds.

 

7. a decade for the reader is a calendar year for the character.

 

8. eyeglasses make the perfect disguise.

 

9. nobody who dies stays dead. EVER.

[Molotov The Bear 0]

10. Except that one guy who just died for the 47th time. He's staying dead this time.

 

No really, we mean it.

[Justice 0]

11. The first and most obvious guy you expect is NEVER the guy who actually did it. It's always the #4391 choice, right after #4390 (Your dog) and #4389 (Ted at the office who is ALWAYS STEALING THE LAST FUCKING CUP OF COFFEE).

[ZGangsta 0]

12. No matter how much people know about your past, there's always tons of room to cram big developments that you 'never thought would resurface."

 

13. That time your girlfriend went to Europe for a while, remember that? Well she was having your arch-enemy's baby! Take that loser!

[Fuzzy Dunlop 0]

12. No matter how much people know about your past, there's always tons of room to cram big developments that you 'never thought would resurface."

 

13. That time your girlfriend went to Europe for a while, remember that? Well she was having your arch-enemy's baby! Take that loser!

 

Gwen?

[EdwardKnoxII 0]

14. If you're a member of the Summers family then you have one fucked up family tree. Like your mom is a clone of your dad's life long love and your half sister is from a future that may not happen, etc.

[Sideburnious 0]

15. no matter how "broke" you tell the readers you are, you always have enough money to fly all around the world to fight your mortal enimies.

 

16. In the same sense as the previous post your job is always the most flexible and understanding job for you dissapearing days at a time.

 

17. The weather is affected by what the main character in focus is feeling i.e if they are angry, there will be thunder and a violent storm, if they are happy, its the best weather the cities ever had.

[Justice 0]

18. "Hi, I'm from Earth!"

 

"... Which one?"

 

"Which one?"

 

"Yeah, because of fuck-ups in continuity, we've had to create over 42,151,243,165 different parallel universes."

 

"Oh. Well... uh... #43?"

 

"VAMPIRE! HE'S FROM VAMPIRE EARTH!"

[Special K 0]

19: It's simply awesome to have dozens of pouches on the outside of your uniform, even if they apparently don't contain anything.

 

20: Oh, not if you're a woman, though. That would distract attention from your mastadon boobs.

[Justice 0]

21. On average, your generic superhero has made enough trips back in time to make even Star Trek writers blush.

[Dr. Zaius 0]

22. Even in the age of global satelites, DNA testing, and enhanced computer voice recognition software, all you need to hide your identity is a small piece of fabric that covers the top half of your face.

 

23. The human brain is very compartmentalized, allowing specific parts of someone's memory to be erased on a regular basis without affecting any other part of their memory in the slightest.

 

24. If you are a scientist, you know automatically everything there is to know about every field of science.

 

25. New inventions and antedotes can be researched, developed, and tested in a matter of minutes.

 

26. There have been amazing advancements in medical, space, and combat technology over the years, but only super-heroes, super-villians, and SHIELD are allowed to use them.

[SuperJerk 0]

27. Robots and computers fucking HATE us.

[EdwardKnoxII 0]

28. If you're the uncle to a kid named Peter Parker, well sorry to break it to you but, you're FUCKED.

[SuperJerk 0]

29. Putting on a mask makes your eye-balls disappear.

[Ced 0]

30. 99.9% of the female population is in the range between "cute" and "friggin' hot".

 

31. Never seek out ultimate power. It only ends in tears. And death.

[Kaertos 0]

32. There is no point in your life where, if you were to stop and ask "what if?", would result in a better life for you, anyone around you, or the world in general.

 

32a. If your name is "Peter Parker" you die in 99% of those cases.

[Lil' Bitch 0]

33. A rich guy would never really save your ass.

[SuperJerk 0]

34. Child endangerment laws don't apply when the kids are in costumes.

[Ced 0]

35. Superman is a Dick.

[Rob Anybody 0]

Superdickery is an excellent site.

 

36. Don't worry about your hair. Don't even look in a mirror when you get up. It'll look the same as it does every single day, and not one person will call you out on it.

[Justice 0]

37. What is seemingly an indestructable fiber found in blanket form with an alien child can resist anything but a mother's sewing scissors and mending needles.

[Guest treecelightning]

38. 2 seconds is the maximum amount of time that will ever be left on a countdown for a doomsday device when you shut it down. Doesn't matter how early you start out or how fast you get there. It won't stop before 00:02.00.

[Ravenbomb 0]

39. Schools don't teach you anything worth knowing

[Vampiro69 0]

40. There are only two types of criminals. Those that want to rob banks and those that want to rule the world.

[ChrisMWaters 0]

41. Don't try to remember every detail of your past. Chances are, in a few months, some massive universe altering event will change your past.

 

42. Ancient gods, whether Greek (DC) or Norse (Marvel (Thor)) really do exist.

[SuperJerk 0]

43. If there is some element of your past you don't like, quit mentioning it ever happened and everyone will forget it ever did.

 

44. Being a globe-trotting super-hero means never having to eat, change your clothes, or bathe.

 

45. Being frozen in ice causes no permanent damage.