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I just finished watching the 3rd Resident Evil moive...it was one of the biggest pieces of shit ever made

 

Yes. It really is bad.

 

I watched Michael Clayton over the weekend and thought it was very over-long and totally over rated. Sure Clooney was good, but the films wasn't all that good.

 

I also watched Burton's Sweeny Todd, I don't think I've ever watched a film where I was grateful to hear some bloody dialogue. Granted I was bound to hate it from the start, it's a musical and it's directed by Tim Burton. No amount of Alan Rickman can save a movie from those two shit storms.

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I just finished watching the 3rd Resident Evil moive...it was one of the biggest pieces of shit ever made

 

Amazingly, it's the only RE movie that I don't hate. Granted, it's not good, but I find it kinda watchable.

Plus Ashanti gets killed.

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wow. that might be the worst one-two punch post on record in this folder.

 

I hope that was directed solely towards luke-o (and yes that post was terrible- Clooney wasn't even the best part of Clayton). I spent twenty minutes on that post!

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I'm really into weird, sleazy Euro Horror all of the sudden. Stuff like "Female Vampire", "Tombs of the Blind Dead", "Night of the Sorcerers", "Horror Rises From The Tomb", "The Living Dead Girl"-stuff like that. They might not constitute as good in the traditional or conventional sense, but I love them.

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I just finished watching the 3rd Resident Evil moive...it was one of the biggest pieces of shit ever made

 

Amazingly, it's the only RE movie that I don't hate. Granted, it's not good, but I find it kinda watchable.

Plus Ashanti gets killed.

 

The RE movies all fail for so many reasons, none of which being they don't follow the games. The main reason they fail is because other than the lead, they give you no reason whatsoever to care about anyone else. And to include Wesker, leave open a sequel and then say "odds are that is the end of the series with ALICE CLONES" was miserable.

 

The only character I managed to care about was Carlos and they killed him off in that stupid ass Vegas scene with the SUPER ZOMBIES.

 

Still though in the plus department, RE 3 had Johnny Cage running around!

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I hated pretty much all of the Resident Evil flicks. There are many reasons, but I'll just name four. Firstly, while Milla Jovavich is easy on the eyes, she's a pretty bad actress. Secondly, for some reason the special effects in these movies all seem consistently cheap; I almost gagged when I saw CGI gore on the zombies in the first one. Thirdly, what the hell was the deal with making the main character into some kind of bizarre cross between the Dark Phoenix and Buffy the Vampire Slayer? And finally, yeah, it does annoy me that they intentionally strayed so far from the material of the original games.

 

"Tombs of the Blind Dead"

That series is a pet favorite of mine. I will give you one bit of advice: stay the fuck away from the third one, called The Ghost Galleon or The Horror of the Zombies. It's shockingly way worse than the rest of them, but in a slow, boring, empty way which makes it no fun whatsoever.

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Inside is a great horror film from France.

 

Hell yeah, son. That's good, good shit.

 

Y'know, regarding torture porn, I actually fully embrace it. Ever seen Murder Set Pieces? I love it, even though the acting is crap, save for a nice turn from Tony Todd as the proprietor of a porn shop.

 

Even though I'm a writer, not a director, I count Eli Roth among my influences, mostly for his egotism (best quote "The future of horror? I'm the present of horror.") Eli Roth, John Waters, Rob Zombie... this is who I want to emulate as a film maker. Hopefully it won't make Jingus reconsider his decision to watch my stuff.

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Even though I'm a writer, not a director, I count Eli Roth among my influences, mostly for his egotism (best quote "The future of horror? I'm the present of horror.") Eli Roth, John Waters, Rob Zombie... this is who I want to emulate as a film maker. Hopefully it won't make Jingus reconsider his decision to watch my stuff.

Hey, I like Waters and Zombie for the most part. But Roth's entire attitude, everything I've ever heard or read about that guy, just makes me hate him without even having seen one of his films. Well, not counting the fake trailer from Grindhouse, but that just made me hate him even more. Statements like that, or whining about all the excuses for why Hostel 2 didn't do well? I'm sorry, I like people who show a little humility. Egomaniacs who think their shit don't stink are some of my least favorite people.

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Ha ha. Yeah, that's true. That's part of why I dig him, half the shit he says I can't even believe he's serious. The balls on the guy are immense. He reminds me of early Tarantino, before he was a legitimate player and would just say whatever he wanted.

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"Tombs of the Blind Dead"

That series is a pet favorite of mine. I will give you one bit of advice: stay the fuck away from the third one, called The Ghost Galleon or The Horror of the Zombies. It's shockingly way worse than the rest of them, but in a slow, boring, empty way which makes it no fun whatsoever.

Sadly, I've seen the third one, and it is crap. The first and second one though, are fucking great. I'd recommend "Night of the Sorcerers" from the same director. It's got beheadings, whipping, nudity, chicks in leopard skin bikinis, zombies-it's Euro Trash heaven. Cheap and sleazy as hell, but so much cheesy fun.

 

Also, I've been pimping "Inside" for a while now. That's my favorite horror movie if the year so far.

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I actually like Cabin Fever the most out of all of Roth's movies, as it's the only one I watch regularly. The "Last House on the Left" references are pretty cool, and it does a nice job (at least in my opinion) of mixing horror and humor. Plus,

PANCAKES!

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Sadly, I've seen the third one, and it is crap. The first and second one though, are fucking great.

Christ wasn't it awful. That movie approached an almost Manos-like level of just absolutely nothing happening. Tell me, what did you think of the fourth one? Night of the Death Cult or Night of the Seagulls or its various other titles. I vaguely remember it being tolerable, but it was a long time ago and I only saw it on an old VHS release which probably wasn't the definitive version.

 

Ha ha. Yeah, that's true. That's part of why I dig him, half the shit he says I can't even believe he's serious. The balls on the guy are immense. He reminds me of early Tarantino, before he was a legitimate player and would just say whatever he wanted.

The only way I can tolerate someone like that is if their work is so appalling yet their self-hype so masturbatory that they're either flat-out lying or utterly insane. I am of course speaking of Uwe Boll.

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While there are good and bad elements to Eli Roth, I will say I'm looking forward to his adaptation of Stephen King's Cell. A decent enough story, I'm hoping Cell will have an equally awesome opening scene similar to The Happening, except not suck afterwards. I read that book the day it came out (die hard King fan), and even then I said "This will make an awesome movie."

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While there are good and bad elements to Eli Roth, I will say I'm looking forward to his adaptation of Stephen King's Cell. A decent enough story, I'm hoping Cell will have an equally awesome opening scene similar to The Happening, except not suck afterwards. I read that book the day it came out (die hard King fan), and even then I said "This will make an awesome movie."

I'm also really interested in what he can do with "Cell". I'd also like to see a movie version of Brain Keene's "The Rising."

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For not much of a reason...

 

standalone.jpg

 

That's my favorite French film ever, even better than Baise Moi. The bleakest thing I've ever seen in my life. Watch this film twice, and you'll have a deeper understanding of nihilists. Watch it three times and you'll be one.

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In response to this discussion, I'm watching both Hostels tonight. I'm halfway through the first one. And not having fun.

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In response to this discussion, I'm watching both Hostels tonight. I'm halfway through the first one. And not having fun.

Alright, my browser crashed so it took a while, but I finished the first Hostel. Why does this movie have such an extreme reputation? There were some icky bits, especially the thing with the chick's eye, but I've seen much worse overall. Hell, the general xenophobia was more tiring to sit through than the torture.

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wow. that might be the worst one-two punch post on record in this folder.

 

I hope that was directed solely towards luke-o (and yes that post was terrible- Clooney wasn't even the best part of Clayton). I spent twenty minutes on that post!

 

Meh, just wasn't for me I guess.

 

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For not much of a reason...

 

standalone.jpg

 

That's my favorite French film ever, even better than Baise Moi. The bleakest thing I've ever seen in my life. Watch this film twice, and you'll have a deeper understanding of nihilists. Watch it three times and you'll be one.

I didn't really care for I Stand Alone. It was decent, and you're most assuredly right in calling it bleak, but it's just not that good of a movie. Baise Moi and Inside are both infinitely more entertaining.

 

Speaking of French cinema ... I finally got around to watching Frontier(s) last night. Wasn't that impressed. One of my biggest complaints was that it didn't do a good job of making the protagonists likeable enough to make me want to root for them. In a movie where people are getting tortured/killed/etc by Nazi-loving cannibals, I really shouldn't be rooting for the neo-Nazis. On top of that - and I'll try to avoid spoilers - it was one of those movies where the bad guys became unfathomably inept in the flip of a switch. Unable to shoot straight so dozens of bullets miss someone that's right across the room, or all of a sudden unwilling to just pull the trigger when they have someone at gunpoint. I recognize that it's done to keep the alleged good guys alive, but it drives me insane when movies resort to that. It wasn't a bad movie per-se, but it really wasn't all that good. I'd give it a 5/10 and a "see it but don't go out of your way to see it."

 

Alright, my browser crashed so it took a while, but I finished the first Hostel. Why does this movie have such an extreme reputation? There were some icky bits, especially the thing with the chick's eye, but I've seen much worse overall. Hell, the general xenophobia was more tiring to sit through than the torture.
It got the reputation because so many people made such a big stink about how "~extreme~!" it was; for me, it was noteworthy because it was one of the first US-made movies that was that unrepentantly (and non-supernaturally) violent . The J-Horror industry had been doing it for years, but other than tiny underground US flicks, there really wasn't a market here. And then Hostel came out and kind of brought it to the mainstream. But I think most of the people that ranted about how extreme it was did so because they hadn't seen anything like it.

 

And I'll admit that the one thing that bothers me in movies is teeth extraction. I find it borderline unwatchable, for some reason.

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And I'll admit that the one thing that bothers me in movies is teeth extraction. I find it borderline unwatchable, for some reason.

 

 

You know what gets me? Fingernails. Anything to do with those fuckers get me.

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the fingers, for me...take Darkman for example, when Larry Drake snips off homeboys fingers one by one with the cigar-tip cutter. Sure we don't SEE it, but the thought is still there. There are numerous other movies that involve a guy being held down while his fingers are either broken one by one or cut off one by one...gets me everytime.

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I actually prefer "Irreversible" to "I Stand Alone." Really hard to watch that one.

 

Troma has come up with some of the best movie titles in the history of anything. Examples:

 

  • Surf Nazis Must Die!
  • Fertilize the Blaspheming Bombshell
  • Stuff Stephanie in the Incinerator
  • Fat Guy Goes Nutzoid
  • A Nympho Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell

 

Sadly, it's the titles that are better than the movies most times.

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Just saw Hancock today and the music/camera work of the film totally reminded me of NBC's Friday Night Lights - even had the little kid and Layla's Dad in it!

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Just saw Hancock today and the music/camera work of the film totally reminded me of NBC's Friday Night Lights - even had the little kid and Layla's Dad in it!

 

Friday Night Light's Peter Berg directed it, so there ya go!

 

Yeah, that is one thing I actually did really like about Hancock, the general look and action feel to it, it just didn't deliver on the other fronts and by the end of the movie, the action kind of got repetitive to me, on top of it.

 

Speaking of Berg, I think he also did Vantage Point also, which just recently came out on DVD. Definately worth checking out.

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I also don't like teeth extraction, which is why the most disturbing movie for me is likely The Dentist. People don't know why I hate it, but that's why. I just realized too... that was with Corbin Bernsen. And then you had Dr. Giggles with Larry Drake. LA Law connection.

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