See No Evil

[death_by_burrito 0]

So did anyone check it out today? Like others have said, it doesn't look too bad if you don't follow WWE and know who Kane is. So, if you had seen it, what did you think?

[Dips 0]

Wanna take bets on what the IMDB rating will be when it finally updates? I'm gonna go for an optimistic 5.5

[Downhome 0]

I've been searching for a single positive review, and the only one that comes close is the review for it at DVDTalk:

 

http://www.dvdtalk.com/reviews/read.php?ID=21778

 

It has a 0% at RT so far.

[2GOLD 0]

The best part is going to IMDB and reading the obvious plant comments from the WWE. I swear, they are going to make sure this movie ranks a 10 before the end of the weekend.

 

I'm still saying 8 to 12 million total for the weekend.

[SuperJerk 0]

"Tonight...you'll be seeing a movie with...KANE!!!!!"

[daileyxplanet 0]

I'm not sure if anyone's posted this, but according to IMDB, See No Evil's title could've just as easily been:

 

Eye Scream Man

 

Goodnight

 

The Goodnight Man.

 

Things aren't so bad, are they?

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

It was originally Eye Scream Man and I think they realized that didnt make unless Kane's character was dressed up as an Ice Cream Truck driver ripping people's eyes out.

[daileyxplanet 0]

Kane could've played Sweetooth.

[Guest Smues]

Kane could've played Sweetooth.

 

I'd pay to see that.

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

Kane could've played Sweetooth.

 

I'd pay to see that.

 

I dont know if it would fly ripping a character from Twisted Metal, but they could just do a "Deranged psycopath ice cream truck driver who goes around ripping people's eyes out at night to use to make his "eye scream" for his day job"..

[2GOLD 0]

According to estimates, SEE NO EVIL has brought in 1.65 million for Friday coming in fifth place. It's not doing too bad, playing on only 1,257 screens.

[Gary Floyd 0]

Interesting fact: The director used to direct porno flicks. One of his most famous titles is "White BunBusters".

[Special K 0]

Sweettooth's a fag. Mr. Grimm's where it's at.

 

Unless you play my friend when he's fucking shadow in TM2. Completely unstoppable. I hate that guy. I love ythat game.

 

Sweet! Napalm! Frpm haldway across the screen. RRR...... SHADOW BITCH!

 

We played a thousand fucking versus matches. Only way I could beat gim was burninatng him with thumper afer a freeze. Or Mr. Grimm.

[Special K 0]

Interesting fact: The director used to direct porno flicks. One of his most famous titles is "White BunBusters

 

 

This is sumultaneously the best and worst porno I've ever seen.

 

Or you could search for my porno lyrics thread.

 

They hang out all day with their weenies hanging ouuuut/

It wants to makes you want to go to a deli and eat sauerkraut!

(white Bunbusters!)

 

^Not making it up. Horrible, horrible porno. Best song ever. We need a new porno song thread.

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

Interesting fact: The director used to direct porno flicks. One of his most famous titles is "White BunBusters".

 

From the director of White Bunbusters...and the people that brought you Katie Vick and the Boogeyman..

[Gary Floyd 0]

Interesting fact: The director used to direct porno flicks. One of his most famous titles is "White BunBusters

 

 

This is sumultaneously the best and worst porno I've ever seen.

 

Or you could search for my porno lyrics thread.

 

They hang out all day with their weenies hanging ouuuut/

It wants to makes you want to go to a deli and eat sauerkraut!

(white Bunbusters!)

 

^Not making it up. Horrible, horrible porno. Best song ever. We need a new porno song thread.

I remember that thread. I downloaded that porno just for the theme song, which you are right, is an awesome song.

 

"White Bun Buuussteeerrs!"

[Smartly Pretty 0]

(AP) - It would seem that no director in the history of film has had a weirder trajectory than Gregory Dark.

Following a lengthy career directing porn in the 1980s and '90s - his credits include Black Throat, Hootermania and the Between the Cheeks series - Dark moved on to music videos, including clips for Britney Spears and Mandy Moore.

 

And now he's behind the camera for a mainstream feature film, the horror flick See No Evil, though to call it legitimate would be a bit of an overstatement. The actors keep their clothes on, but See No Evil is no less gratuitous and exploitative than his previous offerings.

 

The movie's press notes fail to mention his illustrious filmography; however, they do inform us that Dark has a master's degree from Stanford and a graduate film degree from NYU, both of which he's putting to good use.

 

See No Evil, which wasn't screened for critics before opening day in keeping with the pervasive trend of 2006, is uncomfortably misogynistic even by horror-movie standards. Women invariably are referred to as sluts - and worse - and are tied up and tortured, gagged and kept in cages. They are dragged by their hair across the floor and tossed over the shoulder like rag dolls.

 

Oh yes, and some of them have their eyes plucked from their sockets and dropped into gooey, fluid-filled jars.

 

All this abuse comes at the hands of World Wrestling Entertainment superstar Kane - this being a WWE Films production - the beefy 7-footer whose character, Jacob Goodnight, is described as a "reclusive psychopath."

 

Theoretically, that wouldn't make him all that dangerous. But through the film's contrived premise from first-time screenwriter Dan Madigan, a group of unsuspecting young people are thrust into his realm.

 

These small-time criminals, four women and four men, are sent on a community service project to clean up the long-dilapidated Blackwell Hotel, which Jacob calls home. Escorting them is the cop (Steven Vidler, doing a bad Clint Eastwood impression) who just happens to have shot Jacob in the head four years earlier.

 

As the prisoners insult and feebly flirt with each other, we're left to wonder halfheartedly who will die first, and how, and who will survive. (In an unusual twist for the genre, the black character is not the primary victim.) Christina Vidal, Samantha Noble, Luke Pegler and Michael J. Pagan are among the actors you've never heard of playing the targets.

 

One by one, though, they do succumb to the sheer brute strength of this tormented giant, who still has issues from childhood and chooses to act them out with the help of a hook attached to a long chain. And of course he finishes the job with his preferred eye-gouging technique, hence the title.

 

Nothing about See No Evil is scary. With its run-down, abandoned setting, which is lousy with roaches, rats and flies, it's just dark, dirty and gross. And the killings themselves, while gory, are also unintentionally hilarious.

 

As for the acting - and the action - it's more believable in any given episode of WWE Raw

[Special K 0]

Because they're WHITE (clap clapclap) BunBuuuusters

They're WHITE (clap clapclap) Bunbuuuuusters

 

I wish the 'cum-drenched tits' website was still up.

 

chorus: CUM DRENCHED TITS

Really bad rapper: Beautiful slut accepting fat cock

[k thx 0]

So no-one here has actually seen it...

[Special K 0]

So no-one here has actually seen it...

 

Hell no. I can shit in my toilet for free! (my apartment pays for water utilities)

 

He should have stuck to har-core porn. Probably more money, and his spectacularly unsexy porns were like highg art. Come on. New Wave Hookers? White Bunbusters? Classics of unsexy, weird pr0n.

 

I shoud probably be ashamed of knowing a single porn director, but his shit's hilarious.

[k thx 0]

You have to buy food to produce the crap though.

[Gary Floyd 0]

So no-one here has actually seen it...

Eh, I'll probably rent it for laughs when it comes to DVD.

[Mole 0]

This is from RT:

 

"Sadly, Kane has all the cinematic presence of a shaved ape, and possesses acting skills that make Vin Diesel look like vintage 1974 Pacino."

 

-- Brian Orndorf, EFILMCRITIC.COM

[Danville_Wrestling 0]

This is from RT:

 

"Sadly, Kane has all the cinematic presence of a shaved ape, and possesses acting skills that make Vin Diesel look like vintage 1974 Pacino."

 

-- Brian Orndorf, EFILMCRITIC.COM

 

Classic

[Gary Floyd 0]

I haven't seen it, but I read a review (from reliable B-Movie reviewer and Death Valley Driver Forum Regular/Horror Channel Reviewer Foywonder) that says that you see Kane spanking the monkey in it.

 

Yep, Vince definately loves this one.

 

Also, I've already mentioned this, but I remember when I saw "Hostel" in theatres, and the trailer for "See No Evil" was shown. The whole audience was in dumbfounded silence in how bad the movie looked.

[Scroby 0]

I haven't seen it, but I read a review (from reliable B-Movie reviewer and Death Valley Driver Forum Regular/Horror Channel Reviewer Foywonder) that says that you see Kane spanking the monkey in it.

 

Yep, Vince definately loves this one.

 

Also, I've already mentioned this, but I remember when I saw "Hostel" in theatres, and the trailer for "See No Evil" was shown. The whole audience was in dumbfounded silence in how bad the movie looked.

Yeah....I'm not going to go see this movie now.

[Boon 0]

Also, I've already mentioned this, but I remember when I saw "Hostel" in theatres, and the trailer for "See No Evil" was shown. The whole audience was in dumbfounded silence in how bad the movie looked.

We marked out, hardcore.

[iggymcfly 0]

Wow, those were some brutal reviews. I mean, I expected it to get bad reviews, but basically everything I read said that it was one of the worst movies they'd ever see, and that even as horror fans, they couldn't find anything redeemning about it.

[Guest Princess Leena]

Nobody seen it here yet? Lolz.

 

It's been uploaded on usenet now... I'll maybe watch it by tomorrow.

[razazteca 0]

We marked out, hardcore.

Would you go to the theater dressed as your favorite victim?

 

This type of film should not be screened at the local mall it should only be shown at midnight like all its-so-bad-its-good movies in the tradition of Rocky Horror.