OAO Impact Thread - August/31st/2006.

[Guest Hotbutter Spoontoaster]

 

JEFF JARRETT PROMISES A "PUBLIC EXECUTION"

After learning that Sting had agreed to put his career on the line and retire for good if he loses at Bound For Glory, Jeff Jarrett claimed that he will hold a "Public Execution" tonight on Impact on SpikeTV! What could Jarrett possibly mean by those words and what does he have planned for the broadcast? How will it involve his World Heavyweight Title match at Bound For Glory against Sting? Tune in and find out!

 

10,000 THUMBTACKS MATCH

Tonight on Impact on SpikeTV, it will be a TNA first as "The Monster" Abyss faces Brother Runt in a "10,000 Thumbtacks Match"! It's certain to be brutal and bloody, with one man becoming a human pincushion by the end of the chaotic bout! Can Runt continue to endure the ongoing beatings he's taken at the hands of his enemy? Or, will Runt finally find a way to stop Abyss?

 

THE NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPS SPEAK OUT

Tonight on Impact, the new NWA World Tag Team Champions, The Latin American Exchange have demanded airtime to speak out about their title win! However, TNAwrestling.com has learned that former titleholders AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels will also be in attendance on the broadcast. What will AJ and Daniels have to say about all this? Will all hell break loose once again between the two tag team rivals? Tune in and find out!

 

X-DIVISION TAG TEAM MATCH

The stars of TNA's high-flying, no-limits X-Division will be in action tonight on Impact on SpikeTV! On the broadcast, X-Division Champion, Senshi will pair with an unlikely tag team partner in Petey Williams against Chris Sabin and Jay Lethal! Will Sabin and Lethal continue their winning ways? Will Sabin get momentum on his side as he prepares for an X-Division Title shot against Senshi? Can Senshi and Petey Williams co-exist as tag team partners? Find out tonight!

 

Eric Young will face off against Shark Boy in singles action!

 

Plus, more matches will be announced for the upcoming No Surrender Pay-Per-View on September 24th, plus more news on the epic Bound For Glory October 22nd event!

[razazteca 0]

The greatest comedy match in the history of Impact!

[FroGG_NeaL 0]

Should be a good show. 10,000 THUMBTACKS MATCH, that's gonna get pretty brutal I'm sure. The X-DIVISION TAG TEAM MATCH should be awesome. LAX segment will be the fuckin' shit. Eric Young will face off against Shark Boy in singles action!

I'm looking forward to this match way more then I should be.

 

And Jarrett's Public Execution is gonna be lame as fuck. Everytime he promises some crazy shit for the next week, it's some low-budget bullshit that nobody cares about.

 

I can't wait.

[Guest Connzilla]

Senshi & Petie Williams vs. Chris Sabian & Jay Lethal if given time can blow the house down plus Eric Young and Sharkboy is going to be fuckin great.

[Jingus 0]

And Jarrett's Public Execution is gonna be lame as fuck. Everytime he promises some crazy shit for the next week, it's some low-budget bullshit that nobody cares about.

 

Yep.

 

Senshi & Petie Williams vs. Chris Sabian & Jay Lethal if given time can blow the house down plus Eric Young and Sharkboy is going to be fuckin great.

 

True, those matches could both be awesome. But don't forget this is TNA. Which means they'll probably be cut down to five minutes or less, especially considering the company's annoying over-reliance on cutting to commercial in the middle of relatively short matches.

 

I'm expecting good shit out of the thumbtack match. Anything else that's actually entertaining will just be a bonus.

[razazteca 0]

And Jarrett's Public Execution is gonna be lame as fuck. Everytime he promises some crazy shit for the next week, it's some low-budget bullshit that nobody cares about.

Too much Larry, Slick, Boring-Ash!

[Jingus 0]

Jeremy Borash's greatest contribution to mankind was directing Forever Hardcore... in which he never appeared on-camera. Too bad he didn't learn the obvious lesson there.

[FroGG_NeaL 0]

I used to watch the WWA PPVs for free, and Borash was the Ring announcer/back stage interviewer/commentator.

 

He was aweful, and when I first watched TNA, I couldn't believe this guy was involved.

 

He's better then Lillian on Raw, though.

 

 

And the Hebner/Slick/Zybysko shit has to stop soon. Zybysko needs to get the fuck off my tv. I didn't care for him as a wrestler, his announcing in WCW was shitty, and he's horrible in TNA. And his hair is the gayest thing I've seen in a while.

 

The only time I enjoy any Larry Z segment is when "Paranoid" Eric Young runs in, and saves it.

 

Cornette is fine for a Commish. Larry is pointless, and his segments are always the worst part of the show.

[BruiserKC 0]

When I look at Larry and that ridiculous Larry-do (for lack of a better word), visions of Leisure Suit Larry dance in my head.

[razazteca 0]

Zybrisco can't afford a suit.

[GODSON 0]

Maybe am not paying attention but I barely notice the Larry and Slick stuff. It seems like they do a 1 minute backstage interview and that's it.

[razazteca 0]

If it doesn't include Eric Young saying "I'm gonna get fired!?!?!" then it is wasted time. And referee's should never ever be involved in storylines unless they are going to turn heel and be managers like Bill Alfonso or Teddy Long and making the case even worse is the piss poor acting ability of Slick. The exceptions being Nick Patrick and Lil Naitch Robinson worked in WCW because they rarely talked and kept the performance for the most part in the ring. These guys were henchmen if you will for heels working as part of the emsomble cast NOT acting like fools and overacting as if it was the 1st time on tv. Larry's annoying cadence in his voice with the pauses and such combined with Slick I-drank-one-too-many-redbulls Johnson hyper ass makes the 1 minute Borash backstage interview hard to watch.

[ChrisMWaters 0]

Christian/Killings?

 

This could be an interesting program if they build it.

[snuffbox 0]

That's the kind of stuff ECW should be doing.

[razazteca 0]

Looks like the Isreali national army is the excution squad. TNA has hit new lows. All of this for a contract signing?

 

:firing: Jeff Jarrett promos

[cabbageboy 0]

It's either that or they are now riffing on Paul Heyman's goons on ECW.

 

This Zbyzsko/Hebner/Jarrett crap is the stupidest angle of the year. Since they keep beating a dead horse with this storyline, allow me to ask the same questions I have asked before:

 

--Why did Zbyzsko bother to help Jarrett? What did it gain him exactly? I can see Hebner being corrupt since he has a history of it, but why did these guys pick the exact night a new GM took over (Cornette) to pull this shit? Zbyzsko was worried about his job status, but why? He has a no cut contract. He was in no danger of losing his job. And if he is in no danger of losing his job, then why deny being involved?

 

--What does Hebner hope to accomplish by attacking Slick Johnson? Is he trying to expose a conspiracy? What conspiracy? Even the dumbest fool in the audience knows Hebner and Zbyzsko were bought and paid for by JJ, so what exactly can Hebner expose that we don't already know? I can see him meeting with Cornette and telling him about the conspiracy and Cornette replying "No shit, Sherlock."

 

--Why is Jarrett denying anything? Cornette let him keep the belt, so he has nothing to lose by waving his dick and saying "Haha, motherfuckers! We fooled all of you!"

 

I guess my point is, what exactly is everyone hiding? If Zbyzsko came clean he'd likely have been punished the same fashion he was anyway (the hair match). If Jarrett laughed at how he fooled everyone and admitted it all, Cornette would still be trying to get the belt off him.

 

Worst angle of the year.

[Placebo Effect 0]

Jarrett's promo was awesome thanks to the crowd.

 

The angle, however, is incredibly stupid and proof enough that this booking team is not working.

[razazteca 0]

I don't know if I want to laugh or complain about the red phone ringing at the announcer table. I guess Jim Cornette was afraid of the Jarrett Army to make the cliche walk down to the ring to make his rebuttle. The one good thing I can say about the last 10 minutes of the show was that the video recap of the Sting/Jarret feud looked professional. Like I said before Jeff Jarrett should only do his heel promos in video form but if he must do it "live" in the ring then the face must do the cliche beatdown and chase him out of the arena.

[Guest Hotbutter Spoontoaster]

"Answer the damn phone Don West and quit lookin' stupid!"

[Masked Man of Mystery 0]

So...how was the thumbtack match or the tag match or the Young/Sharkboy match?

[Mike wanna be 0]

Young/Shark Boy was like, five minutes long. Shark Boy got squashed, more or less; Young dodged the Shark Bite and retaliated with a Shark Bite of his own, Eric Young "connected with the crowd" with his hand gesture thing, DSD was countered and Young hit something to win (damned if I can remember what it looked like, and I don't know him well enough to know if it's his finisher).

 

Abyss/Runt was DREADFUL.

Runt rushes in, hits a lunging headbutt to the gut. Acid Drop (remember when that was his finisher?) keeps Abyss down for about a second, and struggling to get up for about four seconds while Runt gets a bag of thumbtacks off a pole in the corner. Runt hit Abyss with the bag 4-5 times, then as Abyss rolled outside, Runt pours the thumbtacks in the ring.

 

Runt dives on Abyss, who catches him and rams him into the ringpost. Mild beatdown keeps Runt down FOREVER while Abyss and Mitchell slooooooowly set up a table off to the side of the entrance ramp, and put a platter of thumbtacks on it. Then they get ANOTHER table, and sloooooooowly bring it over, and put it on the first table; take ANOTHER platter of tacks and put it on that one (so there's a table with a platter of thumbtacks on top of a second table with a second platter of thumbtacks; these platters are about the same size as the table).

 

After all that setup (a good five minutes by my count, including a commercial break) and Runt's still down, so Abyss (after spending so long setting up tacks + table outside the ring)....brings Runt back in. Runt with some desperation offense, goes for an Acid Drop on the tacks he poured out, but Abyss counters by just throwing Runt down into the tacks and that's the match.

 

Abyss drags Runt (complete with about 50 tacks stuck in his back and around 25 in his left elbow) up the ramp intending to put him through the tables + tacks, but Raven with a run-in save. Raven hit three punches, went for a discus shot but Abyss caught him by the throat. Raven out with a low blow, went for a DDT, Abyss shoved him back (away from the tables). Raven with a running knee sends Abyss into the edge of the top table and through the bottom table; the tacks from the top table flew up because Abyss hit the bottom edge of it, flipping it up (he went "through" lengthwise instead of across the middle) and it rained thumbtacks on Abyss. Abyss barely threw his arms up in time to try to protect his eyes (since his mask covers most of his face).

 

Worst IMPACT match I've seen in quite some time, as it was just finisher spot - tacks as weapon spot - set up a spot - tacks as weapon spot to win it - finish setup for spot - table + tacks spot to end the segment.

[Just call me Dan 0]

Was it just me, or did Raven look like he is beginning to slim back down a bit?

[Timmy8271 0]

OK show tonight. It started out good wtih LAX and the announcement of the Ultimate X. Then we see Petey WIlliams. That tag match was useless until the finish. So i guess this means Petey will turn Face? Oh joy.

 

The Abyss/Runt match was stupid. Abyss probably took more time to set up the big thumbtack spot tables than he did wrestling. I'm sick of abyss attack these smaller guys. He should be in the main event picture and challenging Jarrett for the title. I just don't care that he puts Spike Dudley through tables. Cheex can probably do that with ease if he was still wrestling.

 

I really want to like Eric young, i really do. I know Owen will probably call me a douche but Eric young just reminds me of a minor league eugene. He's a good babyface and the crowd loves him. But the stupid "don't fire eric" dance those douches in the impact zone do are retarded. I can't like him if they do that.

 

I can't wait to see Christian vs Killings next week. Hopefully they get time and can have a good match.

 

I used to really hate jeff jarrett. I still think he should be out of the title scene but even i see he's a good heel. He didn't need those guys with guns. I don't even know what the point was of that. I'm intrested to see Bound for glory and see if the fans really hate him like that. It could be just the stupid impact fans.

 

And don't get me started on bobby roode. That promo was just stupid. Like Pat reiley or Joe torre would really go to TNA. Stupid just Stupid.

[luke-o 0]

So i guess this means Petey will turn Face? Oh joy.

 

Why is it that TNA turn every one face? do they really not like having heels? i read not that long ago that they were planning on turning LAX face. What would be the point?

[Hasbeen1 0]

The crowd just kills this show for me.

[razazteca 0]

Dueling chants?

[Mike wanna be 0]

Dueling chants?

The crowd duing the Jarrett segment ruined it for me; they were giving Jarrett an assload of heat and he completely ignored it. Just totally ignorant and made him come across as a complete buffoon, as far as I'm concerned; when the crowd is riding you, you have to do SOMETHING, you can't just keep going along with your promo like you're reading it off a cue card.

[snuffbox 0]

Highly contrived thumbtack spots > VMAs

[cabbageboy 0]

I know what you mean by the crowd, Hasbeen. The Orlando crowds are like a wannabe kiddie version of ECW crowds. The problem is that they cheer for damn near everyone. Matches are supposed to have some basic level of heel and face. The TNA crowd chants for everyone, so it makes it hard to know who is essaying what role (not that the wrestlers do much to establish this either).

 

I've also noticed a distinct abundance of "That was awesome!" chants on TNA, even when something really isn't all THAT awesome.

[Jingus 0]

Senshi & Petie Williams vs. Chris Sabian & Jay Lethal if given time can blow the house down plus Eric Young and Sharkboy is going to be fuckin great.

 

True, those matches could both be awesome. But don't forget this is TNA. Which means they'll probably be cut down to five minutes or less, especially considering the company's annoying over-reliance on cutting to commercial in the middle of relatively short matches.

 

Man, I must be psychic. The tag match clocked in right at 5:00 even, and the singles match a bit less.

 

And WOW that thumbtack match sucked. Abyss and Spike are both good workers who can do hardcore in their sleep; how the fuck did they give birth to this abortion? It was damn near a squash, Spike stayed down forever off the weakest of token "beatdowns", and the finish was anticlimactic. Worst of all was the incredibly contrived yet legitimately dangerous spot with the tacks on the tables. There was no need whatsoever for the tacks on the bottom table; none of them were gonna touch Abyss anyway, and they just exploded outward into the crowd. Dumb, dumn, dangerous stuff that could've easily backfired on them.

 

Don West stole the Batphone from Commissioner Gordon's office!