Guest Kinetic Report post Posted June 10, 2002 Dear Kinetic, If I were to be approached by a ....person of color....and they extend their hand, what is the proper response? As in, which of the ultra-sooper cool handshakes do I bust out? Signed, HONKYTonkMan I usually follow their lead. If I'm feeling particularly good about myself, I'll just grab their hand and shake it like a normal person. However, I can tell by the way that you phrased your letter that you feel insecure about your handshake acumen. I suggest taking the upper hand, so to speak. Make up your own elaborate handshake, preferably one that involves lifting your fist to the sky and proclaiming "White power"! I think this will be effective in accomplishing something. I can't say what. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted June 10, 2002 Your Royal Highness, I have aspirations to someday perpetuate a Fascist takeover of the country, if for nothing more than to shock the government into learning how to work for the good of the masses and avoid petty, inefficient and non-cost effective politics instead of the good of the dictator(me) after I enslave them in Geriatric work camps. How would I go about doing this? I know it was written that It Can't Happen Here, but it CAN! Your future(if not temporary) "President" for life, Maximum Proconsul Kotzenjunge I am quite liberal, believe it or not. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest converge241 Report post Posted June 10, 2002 Dear Kinetic, Elvis Costello is doing a meet and greet up here this Friday. What are the best things to discuss with him etiquette-wise? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest caboose Report post Posted June 10, 2002 Dear Kinetic, How can I acquire such a vast array of knowledge on all areas of interest such as that which you posess? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kinetic Report post Posted June 10, 2002 Your Royal Highness, I have aspirations to someday perpetuate a Fascist takeover of the country, if for nothing more than to shock the government into learning how to work for the good of the masses and avoid petty, inefficient and non-cost effective politics instead of the good of the dictator(me) after I enslave them in Geriatric work camps. How would I go about doing this? I know it was written that It Can't Happen Here, but it CAN! Your future(if not temporary) "President" for life, Maximum Proconsul Kotzenjunge I am quite liberal, believe it or not. Appointing me as a high-ranking official in your blood-thirsty regime would be a good place to start. I don't answer any "fascsist coup" questions until then. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kinetic Report post Posted June 10, 2002 Dear Kinetic, Elvis Costello is doing a meet and greet up here this Friday. What are the best things to discuss with him etiquette-wise? Etiquette-wise? Get him to answer JHawk's salad fork question. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kinetic Report post Posted June 10, 2002 Dear Kinetic, How can I acquire such a vast array of knowledge on all areas of interest such as that which you posess? Watch a lot of television. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest dreamer420 Report post Posted June 10, 2002 dear kinetic, why are people asking you questions? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted June 10, 2002 Your Royal Highness, In regards to your response, there is room in the regime for you. Only two positions have been taken so far: Minister of Defense Minister of Propaganda Our regime is not one of bloodthirstiness, as I have to be elected President first before I can actually begin the revolution, and when it begins, we will try to keep it as nonviolent as possible. Of course, I don't control what my Assistant Proconsul does... Your Future "President" for Life, Maximum Proconsul Kotzenjunge Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted June 10, 2002 Dear Kinetic, You've already answered the Elvis Costello recommendations question, and I'll be searching for pirated versions of those songs soon enough, but what else do you recommend? I've just recieved Velvet Underground & Nico in the mail not too long ago, and will be grabbing some Bob Dylan soon enough. Seeing as how your forte seems to be music, though I'm too lazy to search through the Music folder, any other bands you recommend... i.e. Who are some of your favorites, and what are the names their top albums? Sincerely, HUNG in Denver Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest goodhelmet Report post Posted June 10, 2002 Dear Kinetic, In your latest Riot Act column, you deserve big props for including Abbey Road and Revolver in your 17 favorite albums. Where the hell is the White Album which is another great Beatles treasure certainly deserving of any Top 17 list Also, where the Hell is Who's Next??? On a non-music matter, if made a member of a fascist regime, would you make sure to ban all Hulkamania paraphenalia, 1997 nWo t-shirts (but not the 1998 Wolfpac t's), and Bret Hart sunglasses? Thank you! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted June 10, 2002 Honorable Wizard of Oz, I, as your Maximum Proconsul, would see to it that all smark-offensive merchandise would be thrown into the massive bonfires that will be made in every town for state-banned materiel, including certain kinds of people, not nessecarily races, but types. Future "President" for Life, Maximum Proconsul Kotzenjunge (This gives me an idea for a thread...) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted June 10, 2002 Your Royal Highness, I'm currently listening to a "Beatles Megamix," which is really simply a bunch of choruses strung together with a dancey beat. It sounds like it's mostly original, with a couple of cover bands in there or perhaps alternate recordings. I was wondering if you've heard this, and if so, is it good or blasphemy? I think it's pretty good, but figured I should get an opinion from a man who knows his Beatles. Future "President" for Life, Maximum Proconsul Kotzenjunge Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest goodhelmet Report post Posted June 10, 2002 I believe you are probably listening to the Stars on 45, which did mixes of Beatles songs,as well as a 60's music dance mix which was a #1 hit in the early 80's. Immediately burn the pomp and insincerity of that blasphemous creation and immediately listen to Rubber Soul... twice. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted June 11, 2002 Okay, will do. Sounds more recent than early 80s, but it has been deleted, and I'm listening to Revolver instead. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kinetic Report post Posted June 11, 2002 dear kinetic, why are people asking you questions? Because, as I noted in my first post, I have all of the answers. I could tell you where to score some primo weed, d00d, but I resent your tone. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kinetic Report post Posted June 11, 2002 Dear Kinetic, You've already answered the Elvis Costello recommendations question, and I'll be searching for pirated versions of those songs soon enough, but what else do you recommend? I've just recieved Velvet Underground & Nico in the mail not too long ago, and will be grabbing some Bob Dylan soon enough. Seeing as how your forte seems to be music, though I'm too lazy to search through the Music folder, any other bands you recommend... i.e. Who are some of your favorites, and what are the names their top albums? Sincerely, HUNG in Denver I'm glad you asked. The latest "Riot Act" lists my favorite seventeen albums as of right now. "The Riot Act" can be found on thesmartmarks.com. It'll be worth your time and stuff. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kinetic Report post Posted June 11, 2002 Dear Kinetic, In your latest Riot Act column, you deserve big props for including Abbey Road and Revolver in your 17 favorite albums. Where the hell is the White Album which is another great Beatles treasure certainly deserving of any Top 17 list Also, where the Hell is Who's Next??? On a non-music matter, if made a member of a fascist regime, would you make sure to ban all Hulkamania paraphenalia, 1997 nWo t-shirts (but not the 1998 Wolfpac t's), and Bret Hart sunglasses? Thank you! Dear Goodhelmet, Thanks for the kind words. The reason "the white album" doesn't make my top 17 is simple: It's too long and it has too much filler. Plain and simple. There an absolute ton of great songs on there, but there are also a lot that drag it down. Give me "Sexy Sadie" alone of a single album and it'd probably make the top 17, granted that "Honey Pie" is buried in Paul McCartney's back yard and never spoken of again. But that's the reason, basically. I only included albums that I have difficulty finding any real fault in. I haven't gotten into Who's Next much yet. That's my best explanation. And, because I've had an uneasy stomach all day thinking about the accusations and cruel words that could potentially be coming my way, let me clarify: In no way is that article indicative of the 17 best albums ever made. I have no clue what the 17 best albums of all time are. To make that sort of judgment, I'd have to hear every album ever created...I have neither the time nor the money to do that and I don't work at the Library of Congress. The list is just my 17 favorite albums thus far. That's all. I'd definitely do away with all record of Hulkamania's existence. It would become a non-amania. I don't see why the Wolfpac shirts, which were just nWo shirts with red letter instead of white, are getting off so easy. They're banned. And, yeah, Bret's stupid wrap-around shades were ghey. They're banned. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted June 11, 2002 Good use of your powers thus far. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest goodhelmet Report post Posted June 11, 2002 Actually, I was talking about the Red shirts with the actual wolf on them since they remind me of my red Che Guevara "Art Critic" T. do away with the red logo shirt but not the damn wolf. If you do, DAMN YOU!!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted June 11, 2002 nWo Wolfpac shirts will be protected under the Endangered or Rare Cool Stuff Act, which mandates no destruction or disposal of any endangered or rare cool stuff until it can be produced again or a surplus of the item occurs. This can also apply to certain kinds of neat animals. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted June 11, 2002 nWo Wolfpac shirts will be protected under the Endangered or Rare Cool Stuff Act, which mandates no destruction or disposal of any endangered or rare cool stuff until it can be produced again or a surplus of the item occurs. This can also apply to certain kinds of neat animals. Remember what the prophet said: Anything that is connected to Kevin Nash must be destroyed. To keep the wolf is to bring your own destruction. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted June 11, 2002 Nash is dead meat when the State of America is established, so don't worry about that. Besides, the only way that the shirts would be destroyed is if he designed them himself, which I doubt. They really are nothing more than those wolf-covered shirts you can get in Indian-themed shops of Appalachia and stuff, except the wolf is Red. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted June 11, 2002 Nash is dead meat when the State of America is established, so don't worry about that. Besides, the only way that the shirts would be destroyed is if he designed them himself, which I doubt. They really are nothing more than those wolf-covered shirts you can get in Indian-themed shops of Appalachia and stuff, except the wolf is Red. Still too risky. You are playing with fire, my friend. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest dreamer420 Report post Posted June 11, 2002 dear kinetic, why are people asking you questions? Because, as I noted in my first post, I have all of the answers. I could tell you where to score some primo weed, d00d, but I resent your tone. you resent the tone? well I thought I could ask kinetic anything. anyway I all ready have the super dank and know all the places to get it so i'm cool. thanks. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest goodhelmet Report post Posted June 11, 2002 dear kinetic, if elvis costello were to appear on your doorstep asking you to find god and follow him and the other Jehovah witness to the land of milk and honey, would you go? or would you tell that motherfucker to snap out of it and worship the lord of darkness, ronnie james dio? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kinetic Report post Posted June 12, 2002 dear kinetic, if elvis costello were to appear on your doorstep asking you to find god and follow him and the other Jehovah witness to the land of milk and honey, would you go? or would you tell that motherfucker to snap out of it and worship the lord of darkness, ronnie james dio? If the Elvis Costello of 1977 appeared on my doorstep with his skinny tie and thick black glasses, I'd be inclined to go. If it was the Elvis Costello of 2002, in something tasteful and that hat, I'd discuss it with him over a cup of tea. I'd ask him every question I've ever thought to ask and then promptly boot him from my place of residence. With any luck, Ronnie James Dio shouldn't enter into the equation. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest goodhelmet Report post Posted June 12, 2002 dear kinetic, what will be the topic of your next riot act column? next, should i leave my beautiful wife to pursue a career of stalking jennifer lopez' ass? just wondering! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kinetic Report post Posted June 12, 2002 dear kinetic, what will be the topic of your next riot act column? next, should i leave my beautiful wife to pursue a career of stalking jennifer lopez' ass? just wondering! 1. Your guess is as good as mine. The idea of rating entrance themes has been bandied about by me, me, and nobody else but me and I may just go with that. 2. Stalking the full, luscious ass of Jennifer Lopez has been the downfall of many men. Look at the state it left P. Diddy in. Sure, he wrote some lyrics that made Dames cry. But that's small compensation for the loss of a large ass. My advice is to stick with the wife. Whether or not you encourage her to get ass implants is none of my business. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted June 12, 2002 Your Royal Highness, What are your thoughts on the musical artist Beck? Like? Dislike? Also, how can I stop my addiction to the song "Grazing in the Grass(Can You Dig It)?" Future "President" for Life, Maximum Proconsul Kotzenjunge Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
