Never trusting a girl on the net again..

[Guest Bling-Bling Buchanan]

So about a year ago I met this lovely lady:

 

Pretty hot eh? Well, her and I got a long well, had a pretty cool gaming friendship. We played on the same WoW server, we played WC3 together sometimes, etc.

 

In December she needed help with some school assignment, so I helped her out with it

 

In January I rolled on a different one and in March she asked if I would level a character on there for her. She gave me her account info and noticed something interesting... the NAME said someone else, I asked who it was, she said her brother. Ok, that seemed reasonable, that he was paying for it and such. So I got her to level 38 before I gave up because our original server had transfers off of it and her computer busted so she bought a laptop.

 

In April, Dungeons & Dragons Online came out, we played that but it sucked ass on dialup so I had to quit it.

 

At the end of her school year, she again needed help with a school assignment, so I helped her with that. She said she was also going to BELGIUM for a month, and she had just started reading up about Vanguard(an MMO) and saw there was a magazine that was giving beta keys, so I bought her an online subscription to this Magazine ($17) so she could get it.

 

Before she left to Belgium, another WoW friend of mine asked if I wanted to join him and some other guys on a new server. So I signed up, and asked Laura if she wanted to come along, she said "if you level me a character" sooo, there I go and start to level her a character. I was paying for her account now as well ($15/month) I get it to level 34 before the other guys became headcases and we stopped playing that server. So I went to another WoW server and levelled her a Priest to level 60, and then levelled my own Shaman to level 60. She was always an ignorant, manipulative bitch. Whenever I asked help for something, she shrugged me off, saying she had to go eat, or had to raid, etc. But whenever SHE needed something, I had to drop whatever the fuck I was doing and help her. She then quit about the 2nd week of August, and I was bored as hell, but I was moving in a few weeks and could FINALLY raid so I decided to stick around. However, when I finally moved and got the net hooked up (Last week), I asked if she wanted to play Dungeons & Dragons Online, she said sure. So we go play that.

 

Out of curiosity, I log onto her DDO account information page(she used the same PW for everything), and there is her "brother" paying for her account. She told me that she was going to Carroll College, so I went over to their website, and saw a student webmail login. I thought "Eh, it's worth a shot" and typed in the username I saw on the email, and that same password she had always used... it worked. I was in Laura's "brother"'s email. I was worried, I tried logging in using her name with the password, no avail. I saw a student directory "hmm, does she even go to this school", I look up her last name... only her "brother", Josh, was listed. I went back into his email and saw he had a facebook account, so I go over to facebook... what'd ya know, that SAME password worked!

 

I go to bed, and wake up the next day and start to go through the emails theres an email from the MOTHER. I told some other WoW friends that played on the same server as us who always suspected her to be a guy, they egged me on to email the mother. I ask her if she had a daughter attending this college, she replies "No I have no daughters". GG Pongmo. Ok, what can I do next? Ok, I google her mother, find an obituary of Josh's grandmother, no girl named Laura listed. So it's not a relative. I notice that Josh's (or Laura's) father is mentioned, so I google him up, and as Laura said, he works for a real estate company is Cali, and a news article about him being in charge of some crap mentions his family... his wife, and his two SONS Michael and Josh... no Laura.

 

Laura finally comes on MSN and says that everything she told me was a lie. That she used Josh and told me she was his sister as a way to prevent stalking because she had one IRL before. I was hoping this was the case, but she said she couldn't trust me anymore, and that she had a bf that she thought was "the one", yadda yadda yadda. I add Josh to my AIM(saw his display name in his facebook) and he tried to pass it off as Real, but he said some odd comments, I showed him Laura's pic and said "is this laura?" and he said "how do you feel about it?"... he didn't confirm or deny it. He also said "We call Laura one of the guys, maybe she is one irl?".

 

There were also several inconstencies in Laura's explanations.

 

1) Remember those school assignments I mentioned earlier? I looked through Josh's sent items and there they were.

2) Remember that trip to Europe, I asked Laura to explain that, she said she just didn't sign on MSN and just did "random stuff" offline.

3) Before Laura went to Belgium she asked me to help her with chapter summaries for a book called "The Abyss", low and behold there were emails in Josh's account asking for it.

4) The laptop she bought? In Josh's email.

 

So, all in all, I got fucking played. Hard.

 

 

And what does this guy look like...

 

 

 

 

 

 

So if you guys have been wondering where the fuck I've been, I was wasting my fucking time on that...

[Ginger Snaps 0]

Your mistake was paying for anything in the first place. Without at least getting something in return. Like nudie pics of 'her'.

 

Your sig is the best / worst thing I've seen in a long time.

[The Metal Maniac 0]

No, I think his first mistake was assuming that a girl who was that pretty would actually play WoW and D&D online in the first place.

[luke-o 0]

Yeah, my fioncee plays wow (god knows why it looks sooo fucking dull!) and i think shes gorgeous.

 

But dude, you got played hard. Had it been me, i would have stoped when "she" asked to start leveling and paying for "her" account.

[Twisted Intestine 0]

I think his first mistake was becoming pussy whipped over the internet...

 

Dude, there's got to be some ladies who live in the same city as you.

[randomguy 0]

Amen.

 

Who the fuck buys shit for someone they have never met except in a game, helps them with homework and spends time levelling their characters for them? Jesus.

 

PS: I am a really hot girl who could use $100.

[Art Sandusky 0]

WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM

[Edwin MacPhisto 0]

I went from confusion to bliss. Thank you, Patrick.

[luke-o 0]

It was a fuckin dumb thing to do.

 

I am also a hot chick who is in her final year of uni, can u pay for my course and do my 10,000 word dissitation?

[Guest Felonies!]

Whenever I asked help for something, she shrugged me off, saying she had to go eat, or had to raid, etc.

What is she, a Visigoth?

[Murmuring Beast 0]

I'm not reading all that.

[Star Ocean 3 0]

one time i found this site of this japanese girl who likes white guys and offered her apartment out for some fun but it turned out to be fake. =(

[Scroby 0]

You can't see me...but I'm laughing at you.

 

(At bling bling.)

[Murmuring Beast 0]

10,000 should be easy for this guy. Can you do my 1000 word essay on Ted Hughes? I'm struggling at 500 words and am considering copy and pasting some 80s Pete Townshend lyrics in for filler.

[UZI Suicide 0]

Dude, just kill yourself.

 

I mean, this is just...wow.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU.

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

I bet if I try hard enough I could top that.

[Guest Felonies!]

Well great, now he's going to.

[ZGangsta 0]

That story was completely pathetic.

 

Do we really need to be setting benchmarks for Marvin?

No, if it were Marvin, it would actually turn out to be a legitimate girl and she'd fly in to meet him, but he wouldn't show up at the airport because he'd be called into work to cover for someone.

[SuperJerk 0]

2 rules for the internet:

 

1) Assume everyone's a fat, ugly dude until you've met them in person.

 

2) Probably not a good idea to meet people from the internet in person, either.

[2GOLD 0]

Ray, if someone you don't know in real life asks you to pay for something for them over the internet, you say NO!

[luke-o 0]

Quality ghostbusters refrence there. I congratulate you.

[Big Ol' Smitty 0]

Whenever I asked help for something, she shrugged me off, saying she had to go eat, or had to raid, etc.

What is she, a Visigoth?

 

Austragoth.

[The Niggardly King 0]

That's the best signature ever

[The Niggardly King 0]

When I first saw the picture, I thought this would be one of those stories where you meet the girl, and then bam it's a fat ugly chick, but you fucked her anyway, because pussy is pussy... oh how I was so wrong.

[alfdogg 0]

I have to fess up to laughing at the big boot pic.

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

That story was completely pathetic.

 

Do we really need to be setting benchmarks for Marvin?

No, if it were Marvin, it would actually turn out to be a legitimate girl and she'd fly in to meet him, but he wouldn't show up at the airport because he'd be called into work to cover for someone.

 

If someone was flying here to meet me..then Id be there.

[UseTheSledgehammerUh 0]

LMAO @ thought of any half-way decent-looking girl playing Warcraft.

[Slayer 0]

I have to fess up to laughing at the big boot pic.

Second

 

All it needed after that was a pic of him leg-dropping the collapsing building

[Dandy 0]

I was waiting for the explanation that she was married to Josh.

 

If you are near suicidal and have nothing to do for the next 10 minutes, re-read his post with that in mind. It would have been a sensible ending, as it would have been her mother-in-law, not her mother.

 

And man...you couldn't make up shit like that. I imagine this guy to be like Patton Oswalt's character on Reno 911!

[dubq 0]

WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM