Mundane Sports Achievements

[Hawk 34 0]

Not counting anything that occured in high school or in gym classes, I'd have to say the no-hitter I threw in 8th grade to help my team advance to the District Championship game was nifty since it was the second and last time I ever pitched.

[Vampiro69 0]

In 7th grade basketball I averaged 17 ppg, 8 rbs, 4 assists, 2 steals, and 3 blocks a game to earn MVP honors from the city's JH league with 12 teams involved. Granted it was only the 7th grade, but as a small forward in the league I was unstoppable.

[Guest Gym Class Fallout]

I apologize for not adequately explaining the premise. Pitching a no-hitter in a competitive and meaningful game is not a mundane achievement. That's an achievement. We're lacking the intended levity to this. I meant stuff like "I repeated as Water Balloon Toss Champion at my annual family reunion" and stuff.

[Hawk 34 0]

Sorry. I won a game of cornhole two weeks ago although I still don't know how the hell the game is even played.

[Guest Gym Class Fallout]

Yeah, what's the deal with cornhole? Apparently it's big on the south side and its associated suburbs, but a north sider like myself has no fucking clue what this game is. I guess when White Sox fans aren't busy throwing beer bottles at Cub fans' heads, they throw beanbags at plywood or something? I don't know. It must be a Cincinnati thing too. We just play badminton at family things. We don't have any neat anal games.

[Hawk 34 0]

Yeah, what's the deal with cornhole? Apparently it's big on the south side and its associated suburbs, but a north sider like myself has no fucking clue what this game is. I guess when White Sox fans aren't busy throwing beer bottles at Cub fans' heads, they throw beanbags at plywood or something? I don't know. It must be a Cincinnati thing too.

 

Cornhole actually originated from Cincinnati (somthing to hang our hats onto, I suppose). There is some sort of scoring system but I didn't actually know what it was and just aimed the bean bags into the hole. My partner informed me that we had won and I did a mock Tiger fist pump and awkwardly walked away. The best I can say is that it's just another offshoot of horseshoes to entertain the drunk masses.

[HarleyQuinn 0]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cornhole_(game)

 

Sounds confusing and complicated... I'll stick to being the king of wallball during my middle school years.

[Jorge Gorgeous 0]

I sacked Tennessee QB Erik Ainge back in high school. Later on, during an encounter in a mall parking lot, he would tell me that being chased by me was one of the scariest moments of his life. This was the summer before he left for the SEC. I'm guessing that list has changed at least a little bit.

[King Kamala 0]

Czech- would winning my high school gym class' doubles badminton tournament count as mundane? My partner (one of those stoners that used to be a good athlete that can inexplicably bust out the athleticism when the time calls) did most of the work but I hustled man and he couldn't have done it without my sheer grit and enthusiasm for those semi-sports. We even managed to beat the gym teacher (granted, he was a 55 year old lifelong smoker) and a jock in a game.

 

I also made it pretty far (IIRC to the finals) of that same class' pickleball tournament. Pickleball is kind of like ping pong without a table. I loved picklebal. In elementary school gym class, I was always really good at nukem (don't know how the fuck it was spelled, good chance teacher made it up), which was like volleyball except for some reason, you could throw the ball.

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

My seventh-grade gym class volleyball team won the school-wide tournament.

 

Won a championship in my duckpin league as a kid for bowling way over my average in the title contest.

 

Inside the park home run while on a grade-school team.

 

In-between seventh and eighth grade: My club soccer team took part in a tournament that had three preliminary games and a title game that went to four overtimes and ended in a scoreless tie, all while not allowing a goal in any of these contests. I was the right defenseman.

 

During an after-school basketball recreation game with a bunch of jocks, I made a game-winning bucket with my back to the hoop from the free throw line.

 

I also had a cornhole achievement, but I think this story is more appropriate for the LSD folder.

[King Kamala 0]

I forgot that I hit a game winning three in a 7th grade gym class game of basketball with a bunch of jocks as well. I was The Walter McCarty of gym class games of basketball that year. I was an overly enthusiastic bench player that occassionally made a clutch shot or defensive play.

[Guest Vitamin X]

In a related note of Oregonian TSMers sacking NFL or NFL-bound QBs, a friend of mine on the rugby team also had one of his best games against Cleveland QB Derek Anderson. But I digress- I thought the thread title was referring that the achievements were mundane, not the sports themselves.

 

We have name badge flipping contests here at work, as well as office chair jousting, which was more of a summertime activity since the lab is too full with people these days since the term started to bring that back. Already an experienced jouster on minibikes (kids-size bikes, 16" wheels), I dominated the short lived office chair jousting season we had on Wednesday nights. I guess the student body had no idea we were open that night, so we took the opportunity to get paid and fight. The name badge flipping contest still goes on, though- we take our name badges and you kind of snap your fingers and try to do tricks with them or see how high you can flip them. Those two categories are classified as "freestyle", and "power". I'm good at power, although I think I cheat a little bit. My friends have done the "around the world" (flipping it and making it spin around his neck) and the "fish bait" which is flipping it high up and catching it in the mouth.

 

And you wonder how I have all this time at work to post at TSM.

[CanadianGuitarist 0]

I knew you'd come through with a cornhole joke KKK. I was wondering what it was, but the description, coupled with the adding of Cincinnati, helped me figure it out. I used to date a girl from Cincy, and actually played said game with her mother. I don't remember what we called it, but it certainly wasn't cornhole - she did the right thing not calling it that, especially given that my ex's father first learned of me by finding some pictures she and I had taken.

 

Oh yeah, I had two holes in one playing mini golf with her family one time.

[treble 0]

I'm such an awful golfer, I try and take pride in how bad I am.

 

For instance, in the summer, I was golfing with a bunch of people, mostly my dad's age since he was the one who organized everything. Anyway, it was the only time I played all year and was just generally terrible, especially on the back 9. On the 18th, I hit it into the sand just off the green, but couldn't get it over the half-inch lip and out of the bunker. I took 3 'shots', all while my uncle's friend (who is equally as bad as me) was giving me tips. I eventually just wound up and hit it over the green and over the fence behind the green, onto the road that drove by the course, I might have even hit a car. I was done then, I didn't think anything would top my walk-off home run.

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

I knew you'd come through with a cornhole joke KKK.

 

I do all the heavy lifting so you don't have to.

 

The school I attended during my grade-school years also won some volleyball tournament in which, during a close contest, I made the last five winning serves. And this may not be an "achievement," but I treat it as one: At a local pool hall my friends and I sometimes went to, I would constantly start out a game of eight-ball by hitting said billiard in a pocket right away, thus ruining many a 75-cents-per game affair.

[Danville_Wrestling 0]

Mine was in pitching machine (Little League for 5th grade):

 

I scored from first on a single by the shortstop to score the winning run for my team in a 6-5 victory over our rival in a first round playoff game. We were the Mets that season and our opponents were the Marlins. We'd swept them earlier in the season 2 games to zero but we were the number 4 and 5 seeded teams in a 12 team league so it was one of those matchups. Coming into the game, my team was on a Rockies-type run of winning our last four games to make the winner's bracket playoffs and we had to play them. They scored at the top of the last inning to take a 5-4 lead. After getting one out on us early, a teammate singled to advance to first and then I singled to move him to third so we had rnners on the corner and on a 0-1 count a teammate who was a very mediocre hitter smacked a hard ground ball past the shortstop.

 

I don't think I've ever run as fast again in my life as the runner at third scored and I figured I'd be stopping at third but I saw the go sign so just ran like hell. The catcher caught the ball a few feet before I came to the plate and I knew if I slid I'd be out so I just said "fuck this", lowered the shoulder (and I'm not a very big guy), and went all Pete Rose on the collision. Needless to say the ball flew way out of his glove and a bit shaken and on the ground I leaned over and smacked home plate with my hand and we won 6-5. The team was jumping up and down and on top of me and it was like the Braves when they won the 1991 NLCS over Pittsburgh. Probably the highlight of my baseball career just b/c we'd lost in the first round of the playoffs the year before and this was essentially the same group of guys. However, the glory was short-lived because we faces the #1 seeded Expos a few days later and lost 15-0.

 

Still, a good memory because it was the only playoff game I ever won in baseball.

[Spaceman Spiff 0]

Baseball - I made the "all-star" team for 1 of my little league leagues, the very beginning stages of making the LL World Series (team went 2-2, so we obviously didn't get very far before getting eliminated). I think it was our 2nd game, I was playing CF, and a ball was hit heading into the alley between RF & CF. I ended up making a running catch where I had to streeeeeeetch out to get the ball. A couple innings later I made a sliding catch of a short pop up behind 2nd base. I also CRUSHED a no-doubt-about-it HR to right center.

 

Basketball - took a basketball class at Penn State (everyone had to take 3 credits of "gym" type classes, w/ each class typically 1.5 credits - this class was taken at a branch campus). The teacher would split up everyone into set teams, and there would be round-robin a "tournament", with the 2 teams w/ the best records facing off in a "championship" game on the main court (over the course of the semester, there were 4 tournaments culminating in 4 championships). My 3rd team made the final game against a team that dominated everyone else, and nobody gave our team a chance, not even people on my team (we had been crushed by them earlier), but we ended up surprising everyone by pulling out a 1 point win in which I ended making the winning shot on a little jumper from the middle of the lane.

 

Golf - I'm pretty bad at golf - if I break 100, I'm happy. I've had my share of good shots & good putts, but I guess the "achievement" that fits here wasn't any shot or putt. We were waiting to tee off on a hole, so I decided to "juggle" my ball w/ my driver. I bounced it a few times, and the ball started to get away from me, so I make 1 last reach w/ the club to bounce the ball, and I end up hitting the ball up & into a ball washer a few feet away whose top was open. A total swish, too, no bounces/deflections before going in. Total 1-in-a-million shot. My brother was sitting right next to the ball washer, and was just sort of like "did that just go in?"

[BX 0]

I won a Special Olympics tricycling event when I was 3 years old.

 

And now I've won this discussion.

[Brett Favre 0]

I blocked my principal in the senior/faculty basketball game!

[CanadianGuitarist 0]

Expect a bevy of posts from RedBaron, who's won our annual Mini-Masters golf tournament five times(18 holes, anywhere from 3-8 players). Well, 4-1/2. He tied our buddy Jay after 18 holes in 2006, but Jay was too drunk to playoff, so they shared the title. Also lied to his girlfriend about getting a lap dance that evening, which I accidentally ratted him out for.

[Guest Gym Class Fallout]

Back in jazz band, we'd play 16-inch softball when we were at the end of the year with no further obligations. Since you can't really lean into one with a 16-inch softball since that makes you a complete and utter pussy, and since I'm not a good enough baseball player to get any sort of decent base hit, I took the bold initiative to bunt my way to first base, which was somewhat unexpected, as I was able to reach first. (This is kind of ironic, since after my high school days, I became a bunting-is-evil Weaver-bot, as most of us know.) I then actually took second base on defensive indifference, and was eventually batted in by somebody with a modicum of athletic talent. However, as great as I felt for bullshitting my way to first and second, I was taken down a peg when I got distracted playing left field and talked to some girl I liked at the time, as a ball landed several feet away from me, practically unbeknownst to me, even as my teammates were yelling at me to wake the fuck up. I think I ended up allowing a triple, and I departed from the game in utter shame, went back down to the band room, and hung out in the office, listening to Boston, whom I was really into at the time. Still, though, bunted for a base hit. Probably the fact that nobody was playing catcher helped.

[Guest Gym Class Fallout]

Czech- would winning my high school gym class' doubles badminton tournament count as mundane? My partner (one of those stoners that used to be a good athlete that can inexplicably bust out the athleticism when the time calls) did most of the work but I hustled man and he couldn't have done it without my sheer grit and enthusiasm for those semi-sports.

What is WITH those types? I knew a guy just like that, but I don't think marijuana was involved, just RPGs. This guy could kick ass at everything he ever did. He was the first chair trumpet in wind ensemble, but he never auditioned for jazz ensemble because that would mean he wouldn't have a study hall. He was an amazing basketball player, amazing volleyball player, pretty much any sport, he could do, but only within the confines of a required gym class, because he didn't want to actually be on any teams. I don't think he ever went to college. I don't know what he did. It was the weirdest thing. I'm gonna look him up on facebook and myspace. (EDIT: No sign of him. Either he offed himself or he was swallowed up by the matrix.)

 

Also, I think anything accomplished in pickleball is automatically a mundane sports achievement, because you're playing tennis with ping-pong paddles and a wiffleball, for fuck's sake.

[King Kamala 0]

Not an achievement but I have to share this great moment in mundane sports.

 

 

So I'm in 5th grade and we're having a 5th grade/2nd grade kickball game (Mixed teams obviously as 5th Vs 2nd would be an incredible mistmatch). Anyways, we're playing the game, someone gets a "hit" and a 2nd grader starts running home and my class' hypercompetitive jock fucking clotheslines the little kid to prevent him from getting a run. Little kid starts bawling and everybody gives the jock shit. Later in the game, the jock kicks what appears to be a home run and as he rounds third into home, our 400 pound behemoth of a teacher pops out of nowhere and clotheslines him. What a way to teach a lesson.

[Spaceman Spiff 0]

Speaking of kickball, way back when, I would go to "summer camp". Not the leave-home-for-the-summer kind, the 1 where you go during the morning/afternoon, then come home in the late afternoon. Anyway, it's me & some other kid vs 2 other kids. The 1 kid gets off a good kick, and I run over to field it in CF, but instead of throwing it in, I decide to kick it in (figuring I'd get more distance on it), and end up hitting the kid as he's rounding 2nd base, getting him out.

[alfdogg 0]

I've picked up a 10-pin by rolling the ball between my legs.

[yankovic fan 0]

Not totally mundane, but I sacked and intercepted Kyle Boller back in high school.

 

 

One of my friends played linebacker in high school against Brandon Jacobs. He said "that guy hit me so hard... after going through the D-Line, I just laid on the field, and when my friend came to check on me I said 'screw it, I quit, there's no way a RB should be hitting a line backer THAT hard' "

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I sucked at basketball but around the 6th month of the school year in tenth grade, after playing it every day, I sunk like 30 baskets of us just goofing off on one of the side courts.

[Vern Gagne 0]

In 10th grade, I was the goalie on the championship gym soccer team. I even made the winning save during the shootout.

 

One goal and one assist playing broomball. The goal was purely accidentally.

 

Hit three bombs during an indoor baseball game.

 

Beat a bunch a kids I hated in a distance run.

 

 

[Smartly Pretty 0]

I think I'm going to use this thread to talk about games I played in elementary school. I was the fucking man at Spud. Spud rocked, man.

[King Kamala 0]

Czech- would winning my high school gym class' doubles badminton tournament count as mundane? My partner (one of those stoners that used to be a good athlete that can inexplicably bust out the athleticism when the time calls) did most of the work but I hustled man and he couldn't have done it without my sheer grit and enthusiasm for those semi-sports.

What is WITH those types? I knew a guy just like that, but I don't think marijuana was involved, just RPGs. This guy could kick ass at everything he ever did. He was the first chair trumpet in wind ensemble, but he never auditioned for jazz ensemble because that would mean he wouldn't have a study hall. He was an amazing basketball player, amazing volleyball player, pretty much any sport, he could do, but only within the confines of a required gym class, because he didn't want to actually be on any teams. I don't think he ever went to college. I don't know what he did. It was the weirdest thing. I'm gonna look him up on facebook and myspace. (EDIT: No sign of him. Either he offed himself or he was swallowed up by the matrix.)

 

 

My old school had about five of those types oddly enough. I'm convinced if they had cared enough to play high school sports, we would have won State Championships in all of the major sports.

[Ced 0]

When I was in a basketball league in 6th grade, I got stabbed on the side of the nose by another kid's fingernail fighting for a loose ball. Two points, a steal and bleeding like a sieve as walked off the basketball court is all I had to show in seven games.