How to fuck bitches.

[Nighthawk 0]

I thought this might be helpful to some of our younger posters. I have guarded this info for years, but you don't live near me, so what do I care?

 

So what's your game?

 

Mine is: regression.

 

If I'm talking to a girl, I will throw out songs from childhood: "There's a hole in the bucket, Dear Liza, Dear Liza. There's a hole in the bucket Dear Liza, a hole."

 

And if she comes back with "Then mend it, Dear Willy, you silly, then mend it, Dear Willy, mend it." That bitch is yours.

 

Determine her age and then just quote shit from that era. From "Splinter taught them to be ninja teens. He's a radical rat!" or if they're a little bit younger "Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers!"

 

Once you make her feel like a kid, when she was safe and comfortable, you can do anything you want to her.

[The Niggardly King 0]

I do the same thing, but I don't sing. I find what makes her feel good and shit. Then I teabag her

[At Home 0]

What's my game though? Engaging people. The secret to building friendships out of nothing is simply engaging people to the point of at least more than one sentence. I'm probably what you call a social butterfly, then. I know everyone. It's simple, all you have to do is find out something that they like and expand on it. Here's a situation:

 

I was at a hardcore show (accidentally) and all these shitty local bands played, and this one big army guy was in the center looking to mosh and shit. One of the bands ended, and he bumped into me and said sorry. This is what I said:

 

Me: "It's cool. Hey man, we really need to get some fucking good bands in here to start a pit."

Him: "Oh, yeah, fuck this. Hardcore sucks."

"There's another band coming up, I think you'll like them. We can start a pit then."

"Fuck yeah dude!"

 

And we moshed a little bit, got a few people going. Point is, dude knows who I am and even bought me a bottle of water later that night. I'm sure he'll stop me if I see him on the street.

 

With bitches though, it's a little different. You gotta expand on what they like a little bit, if you don't know just pretend, and then throw in a little bit of aloofness. We all know that bitches like to talk about themselves, so don't get into the way of that. Treat bitches like they're just one notch under you though, but still be nice and ask them if they want a drink or nothing. It's all really fundamental shit, but it works.

[PUT THAT DICK IN MY MOUTH! 0]

I impress girls by telling them about Ultimate Communism.

[At Home 0]

haha fuck you

[The Niggardly King 0]

ask them if they want a drink.

 

Fuck nah nigga, you don't be coming out of pocket for none of them hos.

[At Home 0]

i meant a drink of my dick

[The Niggardly King 0]

Fuck yeah!

 

RESPECK KNUX

[Your Paragon of Virtue 0]

Someone close this thread.

[Lt. Al Giardello 0]

Someone close this thread.

 

Why? EHME's Torn Condom could use this, he can finally be accepted in the real world, and finally smash some pussy. Instead of having to resort to jerking off to his older brothers porn collection, in his grandma's basement.

[Guest dannymaffwasmurdered]

I'm 80% sure Condom's got game.

[At Home 0]

I'm 80% sure Condom's got game.

NOT YOURS THOUGH!!!1

 

 

 

[Nighthawk 0]

This thread turned out better than I expected.

 

Tip #2: Scare them a little bit first. Like, kick them in the back of the knee, and start shoving their face into your crotch, but then stop and laugh and help them up. This is easy to do if you're dancing with them. It's like hiding in plain sight; they'll think "Well, if this guy was actually a sexual predator, he'd never do that." Like in Once Upon a Time in Mexico when Johnny Depp wore the shirt that said "I'm in the CIA".

[MrRant 0]

Humor = pussy.

 

Though 75% this board considers themselves to be funny and aren't. Hence the lack of the pussy.

 

 

Or, plan b. Move to an very liberal place like Western Washington where women have no qualms about fucking and doing all kinda of nasty things.

[The Niggardly King 0]

Humor = pussy.

 

Though 75% this board considers themselves to be funny and aren't. Hence the lack of the pussy.

 

Yeah. Nerd Humor doesn't equal pussy, it usually equals dudes coming off awkward and left with nothing but their dick in their hands at the end of the night.

[Twisted Intestine 0]

You walk up to a random girl, whisper how you want to bend her over and fuck her right there infront of everyone, then keep on walking and act like you didn't say anything.

 

You may get called a perv, but remember, something like 85% of girls have a fantasy about being raped. They're just as horny as we are.

[Retard Girl 0]

insert tab A into slot B.

 

repeat as nessicary until desired affect is reached.

[Guest My Pal, the Tortoise]

repeat as nessicary until desired affect is reached.

Flat affect.

[Retard Girl 0]

i was going for the "imstruction manual" effect.

[Guest My Pal, the Tortoise]

i was going for the "imstruction manual" effect.

nvm

[Failed Bridge 0]

as of late I've found the more you ignore them and act as if they have no chance in hell with you the more they're drawn to you. You have to be a little cocky about it too. Females are fucked up, they're drawn to assholes but in the end they want a good guy to take care of them and shit. You gotta mix the best of both worlds.

 

For example: I bought this chick I've known for awhile now 2 gift cards last night for Christmas. One from Body Works and one from Victoria's Secret. I told her its because she smells bad and doesn't own any underwear but she'll be all set now. Her jaw dropped and she laughed before going "Really?...do I really smell bad?" and I just laughed at her in return. We're going out now on Thursday and I'll be hitting it.

 

Run that game fellas

[Guest Randall Keith Orton]

Nothing you say matters. You're just there to listen.

 

What matters:

1) Money.

2) A wide cock.

3) Be able to give us orgasms.

[Failed Bridge 0]

you can't really run game on Leena because she's got the mind of a male in many ways. Its really not fair.

[Slayer 0]

Humor = pussy.

 

Though 75% this board considers themselves to be funny and aren't. Hence the lack of the pussy.

Yeah. Nerd Humor doesn't equal pussy, it usually equals dudes coming off awkward and left with nothing but their dick in their hands at the end of the night.

So... use quotes from "Friends" or "Will & Grace"?

 

imstruction manual

This is what Mike uses to run the site

[Cowboy Battlenuts 0]

I just hand out signed pictures of my cock and say "your welcome". He's a superstar.

[At Home 0]

You could go with the vice magazine technique. Take a picture of your balls and say "don't you wish these could be yours?"

[Guest RyechnaiaSobaka]

This thread is really not for me because I'm kind of new here and don't really care much for message board inside joke type stuff, but I just wanted to say that I don't think Carlito should be allowed to participate here because if others were to take his advice we would end up with a lot more bastard children in the world that we could be about 80% sure were ours.

 

I don't think we need this.

[Guest My Pal, the Tortoise]

don't really care much for message board inside joke type stuff

But that's like all this board is!

 

[Guest RyechnaiaSobaka]

don't really care much for message board inside joke type stuff

But that's like all this board is!

 

I know. Why am I here?

 

I should just not read anything that's not in the old school wrestling or sports forums.