The Bruiser Brody Thread

[Maztinho 0]

The highlight of the fight was the soothing ringtone after, "Are you both going to tap out to homosexuality?"

[Lei Tong 0]

Now that I have my wits about me:

 

- How exactly did you twist his knee to get side control?

 

- I'm assuming you tapped with an arm-triangle/head & arm/ side choke?

[Your Paragon of Virtue 0]

When did I bet on the Naga champion? And which NAGA champion got beat up by a bouncer? I would bet most 135 NAGA champions could probably whup a random musclehead's ass, so long as they're not afraid to get hit (though you could argue that there is equal likelihood of the bigger man being afraid of getting hit, moreso than a guy already in combat sports).

 

Sounds like his wrestling was shit, if he gave up side control from getting his leg twisted by a drunk brody. I was right!

 

Seriously though, congrats on the win Brody, whatever it means.

[Your Paragon of Virtue 0]

You're telling me Baret Yoshida wouldn't be pounding faces on the mean streets of Glendale?

[Lei Tong 0]

When did I bet on the Naga champion? And which NAGA champion got beat up by a bouncer?

 

Maybe it was someone else. I remember someone else mentioning in an IM that they figured a grappling champion could beat up a bouncer outweighing them by 100lbs, which instantly reminded me of the Grappling Quest champion story I posted back when. As for the argument that the grappler will be used to getting hit... not really. A lot of guys today who wrestled in high school or go to jitz class still haven't been in very many fist fights, and have no more experience taking a bad-intentioned punch to the face than anyone else. Sure, they have a concept of what you're supposed to do in that situation, but that rarely makes up for the other guy being built like a truck.

 

Anyway, don't hate on Brody's leg crank just yet. For all you know, the guy invented the next big guard pass.

[BruteSquad_BRODY 0]

Nobody had a car they could have used the headlights? Or a camera with night vision?

 

The front yard is well lit, they didn't want to do it there, I knew the vieo was going to be shit. I'm sorry that I built up to such a shit climax.

[Lei Tong 0]

Redeem yourself with an awesome, play-by-play recap.

 

[BruteSquad_BRODY 0]

Now that I have my wits about me:

 

- How exactly did you twist his knee to get side control?

 

- I'm assuming you tapped with an arm-triangle/head & arm/ side choke?

 

I grabbed his knee with him in a side laying position:

 

 

 

and I torqued the leg upward while keeping his knee straight

 

and yeah :

 

Arm Triangle Choke via UFC

 

was the finisher (almost picture perfect)

 

[Lei Tong 0]

So the dude was just... laying on his side? Dude deserved to have his guard passed, then.

 

Also, picture perfect how? Tight Gable Grip with a 90 degree rotation away from his body? Or figure-four bicep grip with a flattened and spread base?

[BruteSquad_BRODY 0]

Redeem yourself with an awesome, play-by-play recap.

 

BONUS FEATURES:

 

 

 

[BruteSquad_BRODY 0]

Ah shit my title presentation video fucked up, I'll re upload it later.......

[BruteSquad_BRODY 0]

 

THE TITLE PRESENTATION

[BruteSquad_BRODY 0]

 

Random drunk stupidity

 

Brody's ass on display

 

 

Brody being owned last Summer via mammoth size difference

[Lei Tong 0]

Next time someone gets you in a rear waistlock, go for the kimura.

[BruteSquad_BRODY 0]

Memories....

 

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:09:26 AM): hi

strangerto2000 (12:09:38 AM): how are you

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:09:55 AM): good

strangerto2000 (12:10:37 AM): you real in family sex

strangerto2000 (12:11:49 AM): I had some sexual curiosity about

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:11:55 AM): ??

strangerto2000 (12:12:16 AM): my mom

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:12:41 AM): really?

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:12:44 AM): Like what?

strangerto2000 (12:13:51 AM): I was thinking all the time about doing with her

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:14:13 AM): Sucking her tits?

strangerto2000 (12:15:23 AM): I developed all kinds of fantasies about her

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:15:34 AM): Tell me some

strangerto2000 (12:16:02 AM): well i love to play with her used panties

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:16:30 AM): You ever peek at her naked?

strangerto2000 (12:16:39 AM): o yes

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:17:08 AM): I knew a guy who felt his mom up while she slept

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:17:18 AM): a bunch of times

strangerto2000 (12:17:40 AM): oh god i love that

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:17:52 AM): You ever get to do that?

strangerto2000 (12:18:10 AM): no

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:18:27 AM): Yeah, yeah rolled her nips and everything i guess

strangerto2000 (12:19:35 AM): i hope i can do

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:19:46 AM): How old is your mom?

strangerto2000 (12:20:01 AM): 38

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:20:20 AM): oh I bet she is still pretty firm then

strangerto2000 (12:20:37 AM): o yes she is so sexy

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:20:39 AM): You give her xtra long hugs and stuff or how do you get by?

strangerto2000 (12:21:16 AM): yes i try one time

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:21:27 AM): cumming?

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:22:14 AM): You ever rub her tits "accidently"

strangerto2000 (12:22:37 AM): yes and her pubic area

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:22:50 AM): you rubbed her pubes?

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:22:54 AM): through clothing?

strangerto2000 (12:23:20 AM): we was on the beache

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:23:28 AM): My cousin jerked it to his aunt in a swimming pool once, that was gross

strangerto2000 (12:24:06 AM): well i jaked of in her panties

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:24:27 AM): you sniff her bra?

strangerto2000 (12:24:46 AM): yes and her panties

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:24:59 AM): U ever jack off on her bed?

strangerto2000 (12:25:21 AM): yes

strangerto2000 (12:25:45 AM): but mostly in her used panties

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:26:21 AM): Tell me about watching her naked

strangerto2000 (12:29:17 AM): She was in the bathroom nude, and she’s got every think that a woman could possible have, including a bigtit and bushy pussy

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:29:33 AM): whats her cup size?

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:30:41 AM): ?

strangerto2000 (12:31:15 AM): i dont know i thin34

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:32:33 AM): 34 A, B, C, D?

strangerto2000 (12:32:38 AM): o i see 34 a

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:34:49 AM): not big enough for my tastes

strangerto2000 (12:35:59 AM): well for me is

strangerto2000 (12:37:02 AM): what that guy do to do his mom when she was sleeping

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:37:56 AM): He would reach under her shirt and rub her nips lightly, and trace her breasts and stuff

strangerto2000 (12:38:27 AM): but she dont weked up

strangerto2000 (12:39:57 AM): waked

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:40:00 AM): I guess not

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:40:09 AM): he did this over a dozen times I guess

strangerto2000 (12:40:52 AM): oh god i am so horny thinking about

strangerto2000 (12:41:23 AM): my father isn

strangerto2000 (12:41:44 AM): t home and we are alone

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:42:01 AM): how old are u?

strangerto2000 (12:42:21 AM): 15

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:43:01 AM): Do you get aroused by older woman overall? (teachers, etc?)

strangerto2000 (12:43:09 AM): yes

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:44:15 AM): You ever have a real girl?

strangerto2000 (12:44:42 AM): no

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:44:54 AM): why not, you look alright in your pic

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:45:30 AM): ?

strangerto2000 (12:45:43 AM): well all i know have bf

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:45:53 AM): Do you get off listening to your parents hump?

strangerto2000 (12:46:42 AM): well yes

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:48:05 AM): So if your mom came on to you would you have sex with her?

strangerto2000 (12:48:31 AM): yes

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:48:55 AM): You would cum in your mom?

strangerto2000 (12:49:05 AM): yes

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:49:13 AM): What about pregnacy?

strangerto2000 (12:49:52 AM): oh god is one of my fantasy

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:50:06 AM): Impregnating your mother?

strangerto2000 (12:50:47 AM): yes that i cum in her panties thinking that my cum can go in her pusy

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:51:40 AM): You cum on panties she has yet to wear?

strangerto2000 (12:52:04 AM): yes

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:53:18 AM): Wow

strangerto2000 (12:53:38 AM): and i saw her in one morning after it pull on she shoved against her pubian area

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:54:03 AM): Aren't U worried about the moister?

strangerto2000 (12:54:39 AM): well yes but that excited me more

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:55:49 AM): Do you ever suckle on the panties?

strangerto2000 (12:56:07 AM): yes

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:57:39 AM): What about your own cum?

strangerto2000 (12:57:58 AM): i hace pic camera and when i spy on her i made some pics

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:58:10 AM): of her naked?

strangerto2000 (12:58:16 AM): yes

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (12:58:30 AM): can you share?

strangerto2000 (12:58:35 AM): ok

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (1:00:03 AM): thanks

strangerto2000 (1:00:40 AM): you can send me to?

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (1:01:03 AM): ?

strangerto2000 (1:01:30 AM): pics of you

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (1:03:44 AM): oh sure... I can

strangerto2000 (1:03:53 AM): ok

strangerto2000 (1:04:04 AM): send please

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (1:04:44 AM): Your ma's kinda chunky...and small breasted... thats one weird fetish

strangerto2000 (1:05:58 AM): well i dont know sizes

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (1:07:19 AM): hmmm

anna_nicole_smith_232002 (1:07:54 AM): Okay I've grown tired of this, i'm gonna post our conversation on the internet now and let everyone see how fucked up U are

 

-------

anna_nicole_smith_23: U play the role of Hitler and I'll be the jew whore you rape

candis_bad_daddy: I see a woman that turns me on as much as you do, and something inside of me comes out, and its usually pretty nasty

candis_bad_daddy: You seriously want to play that?

anna_nicole_smith_23: Of course

candis_bad_daddy: I thought I was a sick fuck!! Okay, I'll give it a try

candis_bad_daddy: Will you play young?

anna_nicole_smith_23: make me 4

candis_bad_daddy: HOLY SHIT!!! Are you serious!?

anna_nicole_smith_23: Make me bleed

------

 

 

[BruteSquad_BRODY 0]

I'm heading to Matlazan, Mexico tonight til next Monday afternoon.... Wish me death, or luck or farewell or whatever....

 

 

Or just ignore this bump.

[The Niggardly King 0]

I got $10 that Brody comes back with a VD or two

[tonyjaymzretro 0]

my money is on the clap

 

side bet: Brody gets robbed at gunpoint, any takers?

[Red Baron 0]

I say he comes back with Hep A.

[BruteSquad_BRODY 0]

My Mexican adventure began at 3 am on Wednesday.... Tired but very excited I got up and went for a crack of dawn flight to Matlazan, Mexico. When we arrived, we were whisked away via shuttle about 20 mins before we got to the resort. I was immediately struck by the dreadful housing conditions that we drove by. Seeing things like that and other signs of general poverty made me think that maybe its okay that these people come up here to better them selves, as the chances just don't seem to exist down there. The people were super friendly as a whole, and spoke often of Tequila and Cervezas (beer), so I got along with these people well.

 

When we got to the resort, 6 of La famila were already there and drinking. We signed up for a deal that offered all you can eat or drink for 160 bucks. These gave me 5 days of open bar and buffets, and I did my best to get great value out of that deal. My family was drinking next to a pool with a bar attached, so I spent the afternoon drinking margaritas, and other mixers while the family and I sat around and told the same ole stories we always seem to tell when we get together. The view of the ocean from our pool, and resort rooms was amazing and you'll have to be sure to check out the pictures. I also captured some shots of the Mexican military on the high ways scouting for drug cartels. I found that to be super cool.

 

The swimming pool had a 7-10 feet high cliff to jump off of and I had great fun with that. That night my Aunt passed out from booze by 5 pm so she missed dinner and a mexican show. I myself was buzzing real bad, and my cousin kept feeding me tequila trying to KO me. The mexican dance show thus became a bit blurry in my own recollection.

 

The next day saw more swimming at 1st, took in some local shops and then we went to a beautiful large Aquarium and saw alot of exotic animals. We took in a seal show and a tropical bird show as well. The alligator cage wasn't well built, and you could stick your hands by the gator's mouth if you wanted to be stupid/gutsy. Something that wouldn't fly in the US. That night we ate and drank at another Mexican show, and my family went to a dance club, I declined, choosing to stay in a cooler, bar, with free alcohol and many TVs tuned to sports. The club had a bunch of 11-18 year old kids drinking and dancing. Not sure the legalities of that. 3 of the drunk girls wobbled up to where I was drinking, and we ended up going poolside to discuss life and liquor. I would be lying if I said I didn't consider committing a felony with one of these girls. Suddenly one of the drunk chicks jumped up and screamed "I GOTTA GO CHECK MY MYSPACE~!" and they wobbled off. I went back to the bar for a few more and then was off to bed.

 

The next day my cousin deiced "Andy, I'm getting you pissed up!" and she "forced" tequila shots on me all day long. Me and my cousin took a long walk along the beach (sounds creepy?) then took a beach vendor's offer to take a mini sail boat out into the ocean, where we saw dolphins and got to snorkel a bit. I thought I was ok and keeping up, but then it was time to ride a tour bus that evening, and suddenly I realized I was blitzed out of my mind. I recall some random sights from this tour of the city, but its mostly black out. We visited an old church and an actual wedding was going on as we toured. I apparently was talking real loud and my sister in law had me move along. I was beginning to come out of my haze, and my cousin got me another shot. Fail. When we got back we ate a dinner that I don't recall, other than my pursuit of bread, as I knew i was fucked up.

 

The next morning we went to a charter boat and went on a "booze cruise" where we drank all we wanted and got a oceanic tour. After an hour we arrived at an Island, and there we were allowed to pick 2 activities to do for the afternoon. I chose kayaking and horse back riding at the behest of my cousin who was my partner in crime most of the weekend. BAD IDEA. We ended up kayaking across the ocean to an island, at which point a plethora of huge waves wiped us out and slammed us into a pile of jagged rocks. Both of us ended up very bloody and our feet were shredded. Our kayak sucked in a ton of water internally so we couldn't use it so we ended up having my brother wave down a random mexican boat to save our asses. My cousin then had dozens of coral slivers removed from her foot, but i refused, as I didn't trust the mexican healthcare needles. So I am going to suffer for a bit.

 

The horse back riding was okay...it was run my a 9 and 11 year old pair of brothers who didn't speak very good english, didn't know left from right, and didn't tell me (a novice rider) anything about how to work the horse. They seem to enjoy slapping the horse's ass and watching me scream in fear as my horse bucked and started to run. They did this to me several times. Suddenly kayaking seemed safe~ That night we ate at a 5 star restaurant for free, so that was awesome. Afterwards my cousin went out to a dance club with some of our group and was found by the bartender from the booze cruise. My cousin ended up hammered out of the bejeezous and plopped into bed next to me at 3 am (Okay this sounds bad again) She woke me up an hour later by wacking me with a pillow numerous times and saying "Let's go Andy!" She was hammered and had no idea what she was doing. Then she crawled over me and her parents in bed in order to get to the kitchen, rather than walk around the bed. It made for a memorable wake up call for sure.

 

Finally it was time to go and I ended up sitting in air ports for over 9 hours total between 8 hours of flying. That SUCKED. When we took the red eye, where we figured on sleeping, I ended up to a big pile of little bastards who spent the 4 hour flight, jumping around, yelling, and flashing their bright Ipod lights all around. So I got no sleep. But what can you do, them the brakes for an awesome vacation.

 

[FroGG_NeaL 0]

Welcome back, Brody! Good to see you made it home alive, man.

 

Lots of board drama~! went down while you were gone. You should do some new youtube vids reading some of the posts in the "So it's over" thread.

[BruteSquad_BRODY 0]

[FroGG_NeaL 0]

Beautiful, man. Just beautiful. And you had Mary J. Blige in the background. "No More Drama!", indeed.

 

 

 

[BruteSquad_BRODY 0]

[chuck415 0]

Nice hat!

[Retard Girl 0]

you have a voice for radio. and a face to match.

 

 

 

 

...no, seriously, you could replace the dearly departed Movie Trailor Voiceover Guy.

[BruteSquad_BRODY 0]

This is a fine piece of business:

 

[BruteSquad_BRODY 0]

http://www.thetvnet.com/tag/arnoldoldschool.aspx

 

These views numbers can't possibly be true

[BruteSquad_BRODY 0]

Its Abobo's B-day. REJOICE!

[BruteSquad_BRODY 0]

THE REMATCH OF THE CENTURY!!!

 

BACKYARD MMA AT ITS BEST!!

 

Derek Jahnke

vs Andrew Lutzke

 

TALE OF THE TAPE

Derek Jahnke

Record: 0-1

Height 5'10

Weight 170 lbs

Discipline: Douchebag-Fu

Background and intangibles: Multiple years of middle school and high school wrestling.... More guts than brains....Thought to be a big believer in liquid courage....

 

Andrew Lutzke

Record 1-0

Height 6'1

Weight 250 lbs

Discipline: Zombie-Fu

Background and Intangibles:A sufferer of Homer Simpson Syndrome...Battles weight issues....Lacks real athletic background...intramural basketball wash out.....Quit high school wrestling with a 0-2 record....