Matt Young Posted September 24, 2008 Report Posted September 24, 2008 I was offered a job tonight. It's guaranteed, full time, and union. All I have to do is show up for the interview on Thursday and pass a drug test. However, as fate would have it, I smoked weed on Sunday. It had been a month and a half. I then smoked 1 bowl per day on Monday and Tuesday, I need a cleansing product so I can pass the drug test. I don't know of any true head shops around here. Pipes are sold at smoke shops, usually run by Arabic people, but those places don't carry what I'm looking for. Does anyone know of any chain stores where I can get a detox drink or something similar?
Guest Vitamin X Posted September 24, 2008 Report Posted September 24, 2008 Just drink a shitload of water, that's pretty much the only thing that'll help.
Nighthawk Posted September 24, 2008 Report Posted September 24, 2008 Don't even bother doing that, you've failed.
death_by_burrito Posted September 24, 2008 Report Posted September 24, 2008 My brother is a big pothead, and whenever he thinks he has a drug test coming up, he drinks a lot of cranberry juice and mineral water. He also pops a shitload of what he calls "cranberry pills" (that may be the name, but im not a pothead and im drunk, so just going by what he says), and that seems to work well for him. Hopefully that helps some and doesnt just seem like a bunch of bullshit.
BruteSquad_BRODY Posted September 24, 2008 Report Posted September 24, 2008 Swallow sperm, and lots of it. Preferably the sperm of a Yellow Lab.
Guest Tzar Lysergic Posted September 24, 2008 Report Posted September 24, 2008 I've gone through this before on this board. Slayer will probably find it, but I'll give you the answer anyway. Detox products are a myth. When you purchase one, it will instruct you to drink something in the neighborhood of 80-100 oz of water. That's because the only way to pass is to give a diluted sample. The "detox" product is just a bunch of vitamins and bullshit to make your piss seem less diluted. What you need to do, starting now, is drink the fuck out of some water. And I mean drink some fucking water. Drink water until you're on the verge of puking. I'm talking gallons. Plural. Take a caffeine pill (or drink some espresso) today, and be prepared to piss constantly. You want completely clear urine. When you have to take the test, catch the middle of your stream and hope for the best. Either you'll pass or fail, so you might as well try.
Retard Girl Posted September 24, 2008 Report Posted September 24, 2008 ...don't drink water to the point of it being toxic though. you can dilute yourself to death. http://drbenkim.com/drink-too-much-water-dangerous.html yes, you can.
Guest Tzar Lysergic Posted September 24, 2008 Report Posted September 24, 2008 Yeah, don't do that, Matt, that would break my heart.
Slayer Posted September 24, 2008 Report Posted September 24, 2008 I've gone through this before on this board. Slayer will probably find it Is this what I've been reduced to now?
Slayer Posted September 24, 2008 Report Posted September 24, 2008 ...here's one thread on the subject, which in turn has links to two other threads
Guest Tzar Lysergic Posted September 24, 2008 Report Posted September 24, 2008 If I ever lose my keys, you're the first person I'm asking.
Cheech Tremendous Posted September 24, 2008 Report Posted September 24, 2008 If I ever lose my keys, you're the first person I'm asking. Unless you lose them in an old thread, I'm not sure that he will be much help.
CanadianGuitarist Posted September 26, 2008 Report Posted September 26, 2008 I don't usually notice signatures. I had no idea that was Matt Young.
Lord of The Curry Posted September 26, 2008 Report Posted September 26, 2008 Never had to pass one, had a few friends that tried. They failed. You're pretty much fucked.
Youth N Asia Posted September 26, 2008 Report Posted September 26, 2008 well? do you think you passed?
Matt Young Posted September 26, 2008 Author Report Posted September 26, 2008 It turns out I don't have to take it yet. I passed one 9 days after smoking before, so I'm hoping for a similar time frame in between smoking and testing. It's been 2 days so far.
The Niggardly King Posted September 26, 2008 Report Posted September 26, 2008 take some apple cider vinegar, shoot directly up your pisshole. Hold it in there for 20 minutes... you'll be clean for a few hours after that.
CanadianGuitarist Posted September 26, 2008 Report Posted September 26, 2008 take some apple cider vinegar, shoot directly up your pisshole. Hold it in there for 20 minutes... you'll be clean for a few hours after that. I'd rather keep browsing the classifieds.
Twisted Intestine Posted September 26, 2008 Report Posted September 26, 2008 Just get somebody to give you clean peepee.
Lord of The Curry Posted September 26, 2008 Report Posted September 26, 2008 If you're doing that at least make sure it's a male of similar age.
Slayer Posted September 26, 2008 Report Posted September 26, 2008 oh, and make sure they also don't use drugs
Youth N Asia Posted September 27, 2008 Report Posted September 27, 2008 Also get it fairly close to when you're going yourself. They check the temp
At Home Posted September 27, 2008 Report Posted September 27, 2008 Just hold it in your mouth for a bit. Gargle it. That'll make it warmer.
Nighthawk Posted September 27, 2008 Report Posted September 27, 2008 Guy I know used to provide piss for his dad. He did this regularly, even though they were like 20 year apart in age. He actually put his son's urine into his own bladder via catheter.
The Niggardly King Posted September 28, 2008 Report Posted September 28, 2008 might be the most disturbing post you've made and you've posted about 13 year old pussy cheese fucking
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