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The Simpsons Character Draft

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* PM the next person when you've selected.

* Eight-hour window is in effect.

* Any Simpsons character ever is eligble, regardless of how much or little they've been on.

* No couples or groups together; one at a time only. Sorry.

* The NFL Draft rule is in effect. If time expires for a draftor, he or she does not lose their pick, they simply lose their priority. If anyone misses a few picks, we'll look at eliminating them, but no one can "lose their pick".

* Justify your pick. Have some fun with it.


CubanLinx has the final pick in the draft.


Round 1 of 10:

1) Cuban Linx: Monty Burns

2) Scroby: Homer Simpson

3) HollywoodSpike: Bart Simpson

4) Gosunkugi: Hank Scorpio

5) BlackFlagg: Krusty the Klown

6) JJ: Sideshow Bob

7) Mattdotcom: Seymour Skinner

8) Franchise: Lisa Simpson

9) YouthNAsia: Moe Syzlak

10) CG: Kent Brockman

11) Al: Marge Simpson

12) Aero: Troy McClure

13) Takerhart: Abe Simpson

14) Cowboy: Dr. Nick

15) Brooklyn Zoo: Lionel Hutz

16) Dr. Venk: Superintendent Chalmers

17) Milky: Milhouse van Houten


Round 2 of 10:

1) Milky: Chief Wiggum

2) Dr. Venk: Professor Frink

3) Brooklyn Zoo: Rex Banner

4) Cowboy: Fat Tony

5) TakerHart: Ned Flanders

6) Aero: Mayor Joe Quimby

7) Al: Duffman

8) CG: Ranier Wolfcastle

9) YouthNAsia: Groundskeeper Willie

10) Franchise: Comic Book Guy

11) Mattdotcom: Apu

12) JJ: Bumblebee Man

13) BlackFlagg: Herbert Powell

14) Gosunkugi: Jasper

15) Hollywood Spike: Ralph Wiggum

16) Scroby: Bret 'Hitman' Hart

17) CubanLinx: Waylon Smithers


Round 3 of 10:

1) Cuban Linx: Hans Moleman

2) Scroby: Jay Sherman ("The Critic")

3) HollywoodSpike: Nelson Muntz

4) Gosunkugi: Edna Krabbapel

5) BlackFlagg: Jimbo Jones

6) JJ: Lunchlady Doris

7) Mattdotcom: Cletus

8) Franchise: Barney Gumble

9) YouthNAsia: Lenny Leonard

10) CG: Larry Burns

11) Al: Ozzie Smith

12) Aero: Poochie

13) Takerhart: Itchy

14) Cowboy: Gil Gunderson

15) Brooklyn Zoo: Lyle Lanley

16) Dr. Venk: Otto

17) Milky: Kirk van Houten


Round 4 of 10:

1) Milky: George HW Bush

2) Dr. Venk: The Iron Yuppie

3) Brooklyn Zoo: Number One

4) Cowboy: Maggie Simpson

5) TakerHart: Jebediah Springfield

6) Aero: Disco Stu

7) Al: Sherri

8) CG: Luigi Risotto

9) YouthNAsia: Karl Karlson

10) Franchise: Snake

11) Mattdotcom: Scratchy

12) JJ: Cecil Terwiliger

13) BlackFlagg: Reverend Lovejoy

14) Gosunkugi: Drederick Tatum

15) Hollywood Spike: Dr. Hibbert

16) Scroby: Artie Ziff

17) CubanLinx: Kang


Round 5 of 10:

1) Cuban Linx: Kodos

2) Scroby: Sea Captain

3) HollywoodSpike: SpiderPig

4) Gosunkugi: Santa's Little Helper

5) BlackFlagg: Louie

6) JJ: Agnes Skinner

7) Mattdotcom: Conan O'Brien

8) Franchise: Radioactive Man

9) YouthNAsia: Frank Grimes

10) CG: Ernest Borgnine

11) Al: Sideshow Raheem

12) Aero: Sideshow Mel

13) Takerhart: Capital City Goofball

14) Cowboy: Bleeding Gums Murphy

15) Brooklyn Zoo: Herman

16) Dr. Venk: Martin Prince

17) Milky: John


Round 6 of 10:

1) Milky: Cooder

2) Dr. Venk: Mr. Black

3) Brooklyn Zoo: Leopold

4) Cowboy: God

5) TakerHart: James Woods

6) Aero: Gabbo

7) Al: Charlie

8) CG: James Taylor

9) YouthNAsia: Mcgarnigle

10) Franchise: Michael Jackson

11) Mattdotcom: Matt Groening

12) JJ: Charles Bronson

13) BlackFlagg: Blue Haired Lawyer

14) Gosunkugi: Old Jewish Man

15) Hollywood Spike: Ken Griffey, Jr.

16) Scroby: Peter Frampton

17) CubanLinx: Bill Clinton


Round 7 of 10:

1) Cuban Linx: House of Evil Owner

2) Scroby: Joey Ramone

3) HollywoodSpike: Fox Mulder/David Duchovny

4) Gosunkugi: Space Coyote/Johnny Cash

5) BlackFlagg: Mister Sparkle

6) JJ: Sarcastic Clerk/Shopkeep

7) Mattdotcom: Handsome Pete

8) Franchise: Tony Blair

9) YouthNAsia: Lou the Cop

10) CG: Mick Jagger

11) Al: Mojo

12) Aero: Squeaky-voiced Teen

13) Takerhart: Zutrov

14) Cowboy: Rich Texan

15) Brooklyn Zoo: Johnny TightLips

16) Dr. Venk: Freddy Quimby

17) Milky: David St. Hubbins


Round 8 of 10:

1) Milky: Nigel Tufnel

2) Dr. Venk: Guy Incognito

3) Brooklyn Zoo: Ron Howard

4) Cowboy: Sherry Bobbins

5) TakerHart: Khlav Kalash vendor

6) Aero: Surly

7) Al: Stephen Hawking

8) CG: Roger Myers

9) YouthNAsia: Arnie Pie

10) Franchise: Britney Spears

11) Mattdotcom: Kearney, Jr.

12) JJ: Mr. Teeny

13) BlackFlagg: Uter

14) Gosunkugi: Selma Bouvier

15) Hollywood Spike: Mel Gibson

16) Scroby: Crazy Cat Lady

17) CubanLinx: Sugar Thief


Round 9 of 10:

1) Cuban Linx: Inanimate Carbon Rod

2) Scroby: Unibrow Baby

3) HollywoodSpike: Gerald Ford

4) Gosunkugi: Patty Bouvier

5) BlackFlagg: Ralph's Leprechaun

6) JJ: Mona Simpson

7) Mattdotcom: Gentle Ben

8) Franchise: Bender

9) YouthNAsia: Sideshow Luke Perry

10) CG: "Malibu" Stacy Lavelle

11) Al: Princess Kashmir

12) Aero: The DJ 3000

13) Takerhart: StanLee

14) Cowboy: Col. Klink

15) Brooklyn Zoo: Neil Patrick Harris

16) Dr. Venk: Alec Baldwin

17) Milky: Derek Smalls


Round 10 of 10:

1) Milky: Peter Griffin

2) Dr. Venk: Arnold Schwarzenegger

3) Brooklyn Zoo: Baron von Wortzenberger

4) Cowboy: Fidel Castro

5) TakerHart: Ozmodiar

6) Aero: Big Daddy

7) Al: Weird Al

8) CG: Tom Brokaw

9) YouthNAsia: Don Mattingly

10) Franchise: Hugo Simpson

11) Mattdotcom: Adam Clayton

12) JJ: Linguo

13) BlackFlagg: Smilin Joe Fission

14) Gosunkugi: Russ Cargill

15) Hollywood Spike: Mark Hamill

16) Scroby: Rabbi Hyman Krustofsky

17) CubanLinx:

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So I imagine I'm going to get some "wait, really?" reactions for this one. But as I've thought about it all day, there's really only one character where if I didn't get him in this draft I would be truly be upset, as it were, and while I'm sure my colleagues in this draft will be spending their first picks on characters who weren't one-shots... eh, whatever, I gotta be me. So with my first round draft pick, I'm going with my favorite one-shot character in the history of The Simpsons...




Hank Scorpio

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I was actually going to try and pick Homer as Max Power, but since I couldn't really find any good Max Power pictures, I just went with plain Homer J Simpson.


Good pick though.

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He'll sting you with dreams of power and wealth

Beware of


His twisted twin obsessions are his plot to rule the world

And his employs' health

He'll welcome you into his lair

Like the nobleman welcomes his guest

With free dental care and a stock plan that helps you invest

But beware of his generous pension

Plus three weeks paid vacation each year

On Fridays the lunchroom serves hot dogs and burgers and beer

He loves German beer


All off the top of my head

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In all of his murder-attempting, election-rigging, rake-stepping glory.




Sideshow Bob!


You want the truth? You can't handle the truth! No truth handler, you! Bah! I deride your truth-handling abilities!

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By my watch, Rando still has 9 hours, 16 minutes until it's 3:07 AM eastern.


Edit: But of course, that was using CG's posted time (which somehow became a 24 hour window). It definitely was JJ's turn, and now it's Mattdotcom's turn.


Edit again: Ok, I assume "Rando - 3:07 am" means he became active AT 3:07 am. I read it as his deadline. Working a 16 hour shift (and being awake for about 16 hours prior to work) really messed my sleeping schedule and trains of thought up.


Carry on, everyone.

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Sorry to interrupt the thread, just PM your answers, but if people do want to participate in an episodes draft, I will run it. Send me a PM if interested.



Back to the thread, I love the pick of Scorpio, I don't think I would have taken him first round, but he is an AWESOME character.



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This is going to be the awesomest draft ever. Calling it now.


Like it? Look in your closet, there's a pair for you!


Don't like it? It's gone!

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This isn't a Scorpio quote, but its from his episode, and I love it too much, given the context it's said in and the timing of the line.


Let me get this straight: we're behind the rest of our class and we're going to catch up to them by going slower than they are.


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I believe you meant to say Rando missed his pick, JJ have at her

This is indeed what I meant to say. Board is updated.


Scorpio is a fucking fantastic pick, and I thought Sideshow Bob would slip under the radar enough that I could scoop him up. I'm back to the drawing board.


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There are so many one-shot characters I want to pick, but that seems like a wasted pick to be so obscure. The flip side of that is I have no idea how winning or losing is determined in these.


Quick questions: The Hank Azaria "Wiseguy" characters and Squeaky Voice Teen variants - each one character, or several?

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