Food Network and food shows thread

[godthedog 0]

nspired in part by the recent exchange in LSD over giada de laurentiis, nigella lawson, & rachael ray.

 

sandra lee scares the hell out of me.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Wolfgang Puck gives me the willies. Ever seen his show when he tried doing an Emeril, Live! kind of format? Holy shit. He takes to cooking for a television audience like a duck takes to golf. His "Wolfgang Puck's Cooking Class" show is actually really informative. He goes over basic techniques like blanching veggies and things, barely hiding the condescention. Always makes a fucking mess, too. Throws flour all over the cutting board like that Nike Lebron commercial.

 

 

Look at that spooky little kraut. I bet he has a few children skinned and hooked in his deep-freeze.

[Lord of The Curry 0]

I'm a pretty big fan of Liscense to Grill. Dude always seems to make shit seem simple and his faux-enthusiasm over certain ingredients never fails to ammuse me.

 

 

[Red Baron 0]

Average food at best though at his restaurants.

[Darthtiki 0]

Sandra Lee always struck me as one of those you would see in a Depraved Housewives type porn.

[starvenger 0]

Giada de Laurentis has a huge noggin and man hands. Just saying.

 

They're showing Top Chef: NY on Food Network Canada btw.

 

Also sticking with FN Canada - Anna Olsen is absolutely devoid of personality, so how has she merited three shows?

[CanadianGuitarist 0]

Why does Rachel Ray insist upon saying what EVOO stands for every single fucking time she uses it?

[Lord of The Curry 0]

What does it stand for?

 

[Darthtiki 0]

Extra Virgin Olive Oil

 

My gripe about the network is that it's more about lifestyle and competitions as opposed to instructional shows in addition to the overexposure of their stars.

[godthedog 0]

^overexposure i think is a real problem, and the network's desperate desire to turn its cooks into stars sometimes leads to some bizarre things (who the hell was clamoring for a non-cooking guy fieri or sunny tokenblackgirl show?). but the overall strategy of putting "food living" and competitive programs in prime time is the smartest thing they ever did. no way in hell would they be as successful as they are now if it was 24 hours of cooking shows.

 

i mean, if you think about it, there's a lot more to food than just cooking technique: there's history, there's memories, there's social status, there's a whole sense of time and place. 'feasting on asphalt' 1 and 2 did it about as well as it could be done. great show that was. and i'd much rather watch duff's assistants make a 'big lebowski' cake than watch tyler florence make coq-au-vin in an empty kitchen.

[the max 0]

Good Eats is the greatest show on that network.

 

Also like Diners Drive-ins and Dives, Bobby Flay's grill show, the new Dinner Impossible with Mike Symon, etc.

 

They're starting to get oversaturated with sassy women though. There's the retarded "How'd That Get On My Plate?" with a noisy idiot. It's kind of like "How It's Made" but for idiots. The Neely's are just fucking abominable. They try to come across as a warm, loving family but it's such a fucking act that it nearly drives me to a rage. Paula Deen's recipes should just be injected straight into the arteries of your heart. Her good-for-nothing kids are the shits. Even Emeril couldn't do anything anymore, and I usually liked him.

 

I'm down to Alton Brown, Bobby Flay and Michael Symon as people I can stand anymore. I liked Fieri, and I still do, but he can be a tad grating sometimes. We get it, you're a surfer, bra. Make me some fucking breakfast. He overflavors his food too.

[Guest Vitamin X]

I was thinking about making this thread several times but never got around to it for some reason. Fun fact: Edwin Macphisto's casual mentioning of liking Good Eats in some other thread a while back is what pushed me to watch that show, after hearing about it for so long and it has been a hell of an invaluable tool for me. Alton Brown is pretty much the best guy to watch on Food Network these days, whether you're an absolute beginner or looking to just learn a couple new things. As for the show's humor, Good Eats can be pretty hit or miss- sometimes it goes way too over the top goofy/gimmicky and it kills the show. That said, I think I have like 7 episodes of the show on my DVR right now. Oh and one pretty strong negative against Alton Brown is that the dude is starting to sell out- anyone see that commercial he did for fucking Welch's? Blech.

 

Besides Good Eats, I love watching Iron Chef America, and sometimes Dinner: Impossible (Michael Symon is a pretty awesome guy- guy has "I LOVE PORK" tattooed over his heart!). And although not currently a Food Network guy (in fact decidedly against that particular network after having a show there), Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations is right up there with Good Eats for shows I watch. I got into his show probably like a lot of other people did, after reading Kitchen Confidential and deciding he was pretty much one of the coolest fucking people alive. Not to mention his mentioning of why he hates vegetarians is what sort of pushed me to eat meat again- he says it's pointless with all the good food out there that it's like going into a museum and being like, "I'm morally opposed to the colors red and blue so I won't be looking at any paintings with those colors." Won me over, although I eat mostly good meat and stuff now and considerably less of it than before I tried.

 

Anyways, Ina Garten's a pretty good chef and Giada can cook as well. For some reason, I hate hate hate Paula Deen and her sons and Sandra Lee is the fucking devil. Rachel Ray now, I can see her appeal to the average random housewife with nothing better to do, but she is extremely annoying. Bobby Flay can get on my nerves and he strikes me as the sort of guy who would be a tremendous prick in real life, but the guy can cook (even though he loses more than any of the other Iron Chefs). Tyler Florence and I are essentially culinary twins, too- My cooking style is right in between his and Symon's in terms of what we like to use and how we cook.

[Guest Vitamin X]

Oh god how could I go without mentioning Guy Fieri. Fuck that guy right up his dickhole. AND they're trying to do some sort of retarded Emeril Live-style show with him too? Fucking puke. Guy can't cook and he doesn't know the difference between a good dish and a pile of dogshit. You ever watch Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives? Guy likes fucking everything. The Neelys and that annoying black chick on How'd THAT Get On My Plate?! is annoying and the show is pretty misleading in a lot of ways as well.

 

Although I used to like the show, Food Detectives is a pretty failed experiment, although a noble attempt. I like Ted Allen a lot but the show doesn't work very well at all with the gimmicky "Food Techs" and the way the questions are laid out on the show.

[Darthtiki 0]

I'll be honest, I've been to one of Guy's restaurants and it's pretty solid food.

 

Good Eats & the annual Feasting Series are the best shows on the network. Though I would like to see Cat Cora get her own show again.

[Lord of The Curry 0]

Is that the douchefuck in the Chili's commercials?

[KingPK 0]

I wish they still had the original Japanese Iron Chef reruns. I know they are on some digital channel and that IC: America retains a lot of the spirit, but I miss Kaga's outlandish costumes, the dubbing, Kandagawa's NWO-like faction that keeps challenging the chefs and "Fukui-san?"

 

And for the people lamenting the influx of ladies: at least Rachael Ray isn't the most attractive woman on the network like she was 5 years ago. She looks ok on the older shows, but damn she did not age well.

 

EDIT:

Giada de Laurentis has a huge noggin and man hands. Just saying.

 

She also has a nice rack, a mouth that could probably deep-throat a keilbasa and can cook gourmet meals. Her husband is a fucking lucky bastard.

Edited December 3, 2008 by KingPK

[Brett Favre 0]

Oh god how could I go without mentioning Guy Fieri. Fuck that guy right up his dickhole. AND they're trying to do some sort of retarded Emeril Live-style show with him too? Fucking puke. Guy can't cook and he doesn't know the difference between a good dish and a pile of dogshit. You ever watch Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives? Guy likes fucking everything. The Neelys and that annoying black chick on How'd THAT Get On My Plate?! is annoying and the show is pretty misleading in a lot of ways as well.

 

I love Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives. Best show ever. Yeah he likes everything, but have you seen what they serve in the places he's been to? That shit looks good. Greasy tasty looking food. I can't blame him. At least he eats the samples. Rachel Ray fucking takes like half a bite and goes "Mmmmmm" before the camera cuts off so she can spit it out. Bullshit.

[Cheech Tremendous 0]

I'm going to second (third? fourth?) the love for Good Eats. Not only is Alton Brown an interesting guy, but the show is informative for beginning and advanced cooks. It's nice to not only learn a new recipe, but understand why it should be cooked the way that it is. The tools I've picked up from that show are the most valuable thing in my developing cooking arsenal.

 

Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives is fun for what it is. Same with Throwdown. I get annoyed by both of the talents, but the concepts behind their respective shows are winners.

 

Iron Chef America is good, but I've grown a little tired of the set-up. Don't really watch much of Ray, Emeril, Sandra or any of the other Food Network talents. I might throw them on when I can't find anything else to watch, but they aren't exactly can't-miss television. Giada's food looks like shit, but I'll watch if the spank bank is getting exceptionally low.

[Guest]

Is that the douchefuck in the Chili's commercials?

TGI Friday's. The guy with hair out of 1998.

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

First of all, my biggest complaint is that Fucking Food Network stretches everything thats not in HD on their HD channel instead of leaving black bars, though a lot of the new shows are in HD.

 

I also find it funny that I can remember when the network launched in 1996 and watching Robin Leech's show along with David Rosengarten and How to Boil Water...with Emeril..ha!

 

Good Eats is a great show but the older episodes are way better than the last 2 or so seasons. Plus, Im not a big fan of whatever the hell he did to his hair for this season. Feasting on waves wasn't as good as the previous two Feastings either.

 

I loved the Japanese Iron Chef and you'd think that with AB hosting the new version Id watch it religiously like I do GE but I just cant. The originals are now on Fine Living of all channels. Fine Living actually has a lot of the castoff shows from Food Network's old days like David Rosengarten, Ming Tsai and Mario Batali.

 

I also cant watch unwrapped without expecting Mark Summers to ask if someone wants to take the physical challenge.

 

Ace of Cakes was cool but only in small doses. Im also happy that they're bringing back Robert Irvine for Dinner Impossible instead of the dumb Iron Chef they've had doing it this season. Had Irvine not royally fucked himself over he'd have probably had a big career on Food Network.

 

and finally..Paula Deen..ugh.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[The Amazing Rando 0]

I hate Sandra Lee. Semi-homemade my fucking ass. I was on their website just looking around for some new recipes (something to do to with leftover turkey, actually) and one of the recipes from her was basically "Cook prepackaged biscuits, cut them open, put turkey and mayonnaise inside, ta da! turkey sammich!!" I don't wanna see that crap on there.

 

 

I love baking, love it love it love it. In the past month I've made 5 cakes. Sure two of them weren't for me but a badass strawberry, chocolate chip banana, and triple chocolate cherry cake were enough to tide my stomach over between my wife's wonderful cooking.

 

 

Also, Good Eats rules. I wish I could watch it more but I usually fall asleep and don't feel the need to DVR it since I've seen most of the episodes more than once as it is.

[starvenger 0]

I think Good Eats is pretty much in the wheelhouse of people in this forum.

 

As for Giada (who we call Big Head Chick in our house), if I get past the head and hands there's still the fact that she seems really disingenuous when she tastes food in her travel show. I mean Rachael Ray and Fieri go kinda over the top with the tasting, but they really sell it. I don't get that from Big Head Chick. Also, Paris? For a "weekend getaway"? Unless you're rich or work for an airline, seems a bit unrealistic, no?

 

(Note: When I worked for an airline I did, in fact, do a 4-day weekend in London from Houston. Believe me, if I didn't have the flight perks, I wouldn't do it.)

[NoCalMike 0]

I really enjoy Top Chef.

 

I remember back in my late teen years I worked some this chick that loved Emeril. Back then he wasn't even a star yet, he just had your typical small kitchen setup in front of a camera. Then one day I turn on food network and the guy has a live audience and a band...haha

 

I like Diners Drive-Ins & Dives

 

I used to watch $40 dollars a day

[Red Baron 0]

I don't get the Food Network where I live, but when I go to civilization I try to watch it, and almost every time I do watch it it features Gordon Ramsey in one of his three shows. I love Kitchen Nightmares though.

[Darthtiki 0]

Mike have you tried Guy's Tex Wasabi's off Arden?

 

I really can't stand Ingrid Hoffman, decent rack but is as grating as Jillian Barberie

[Rendclaw 0]

I would be more down with Good Eats if they didn;t try so damned hard to make Alton funny. The information is top notch, even if I think he is a dork of the highest order. He is much more tolerable on Iron Chef America.

 

Speaking of that, I watch ICA with Bobby Flay on the challenge for the same reason I will watch a poker tournament with Phil Hellmuth or Mike Matusow in it; to watch him get his ass kicked. Ever since they did that first Iron Chef special with Flay and he lost to Morimoto while acting like a total dick the entire time, and the subsequent sequel where he lost again IIRC, I will watch an episode to see him get waxed. Dacascos' overacting its straight up pathetic, and the show could come close to the original if they tried harder. Not as good or better, but close.

 

The Wikipedia page says that Mario Batali has the best record of them all, going 19-4. I'm not surprised by that, as Mario can cook his ass off. Cat Cora with a very respectable 13-7, and Bobby Flay going 21-11-2. That's about right.

 

I actually liked the How To Boil Water with Tyler Florence; he finally spelled out the secret to making awesome fried chicken.

 

Ina Garten makes some great food, but I wouldn;t want to be in charge of cleanup.

 

As I said here years ago, I have had the biggest crush on Nigella Lawson for the longest time. British, sensuous, and can cook like there's no tomorrow. Winner in my book.

[godthedog 0]

I don't get the Food Network where I live, but when I go to civilization I try to watch it, and almost every time I do watch it it features Gordon Ramsey in one of his three shows. I love Kitchen Nightmares though.

 

the fox network's 'kitchen nightmares' or the bbc 'ramsay's kitchen nightmares'? the former is really hard for me to watch, everything over-the-top and bad about fox reality shows. the latter is really involving, and actually shows ramsay to be a nice & caring guy when he wants to be.

[the max 0]

The disappointing thing is that BBC America has started airing the American version of Kitchen Nightmares during their daily reruns of Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares. I saw on the DVR the other day that they were airing the Dillon's episode, the indian food restaurant that led to his being sued by the manager who quit/was fired. The American version does suck though. It's just him yelling at people.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

I curse exactly as much as Gordon Ramsay, for those that want to know what it's like to talk to me. He's brilliant. Like every show he has. Ever seen his "F Word" show, where he actually cooks some shit? Oh man, he has this scallop dish that I, and ever other cook on earth, has stolen. Seared on a blob of cauliflower puree.

 

Not a cooking show, but Bourdain's No Reservations is one of my favorite shows on tv, and I've read two of his books. Kitchen Confidential is essential reading even for people who don't cook. Super-fast read. My tastes run much in the same vein as his, aside from the heroin.

 

Tyler Florence is an absolute twat. Can't stand his show. The Ryan Secrest of food.

 

I'd at least try most of the shit that Andrew Zimmern eats, that isn't made with human bodily fluids, or the mound of purtified camel fat he had in the middle east. That show could be a LOT better, though.

 

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

 

The Fuckin' MAN