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BlackFlagg

Simpsons Episode Draft

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I was originally going to go with a much older episode but then I watched this episode on TV last night and realized that it had not yet been picked. Well I'm not going to let it go unpicked much longer, one of my favorites as a kid. Even though, generally speaking, Lisa centered episodes are my least favorite, there are a few of them that I really enjoy. This is one of them...

 

 

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Season 6, Episode 22

'Round Springfield

 

Krusty: Hey kids, it's story time! (laughs) I'm gonna tell you the story of Krusty's new expensive suit. His sexual harassment suit! (begins to laugh, groans) Anyway, as part of Krusty's plea bargain, he has a new court ordered sidekick, Ms. No Means No! Whoa! You're hot! Let's get some dinner after the show!

(Ms. No Means No blows her whistle and brandishes her 'No' sign at Krusty)

Krusty: But I have dinner with all my employees. Right, Sideshow Mel?

Mel: We've never spoken outside of work.

Bart: (Watching on TV) I'm surprised he doesn't blame all of his problems on his Percodan addiction.

Krusty: (Back on the show) It wasn't my fault! It was the Percodan! If you ask me, that stuff rots your brain. And now a word from our new sponsor...(reads card) PERCODAN!? Ah crap!

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bartclassics3.jpg

Season 2, Episode 7 Bart vs Thanksgiving

 

Homer: Operator. Give me the number for 911.

 

Homer: [picks up Maggie as he watches a Thanksgiving football game] See those blue and silver guys, Maggie? They're the Dallas Cowboys. They're Daddy's favorite team, and he wants them to lose by at least three points.

 

Ah, Cranberry suace ala Bart!

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Pretty surprised to see this one still around

 

mel-gibson.jpg

 

Season 11, Episode 1: Beyond Blunderdome

 

Homer: Mel Gibson is just a guy, Marge, no different than me or Lenny.

Marge: Were you or Lenny ever named "Sexiest Man Alive"?

Homer: Hmmm... I'm not certain about Lenny...

 

Homer: Movies aren't stupid. They fill us with romance and hatred and revenge fantasies. Lethal Weapon showed us that suicide is funny.

Mel Gibson: That really wasn't my intention.

Homer: Before Lethal Weapon 2, I never thought there could be a bomb in my toilet, but now I check every time.

Marge: It's true. He does.

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Season 8, Episode 5: Bart After Dark

 

Announcer: It's eleven o'clock. Do you know where your children are?

Homer: I told you last night, no!

 

Marge: I'm here to share my moral outrage. But this time it's not

about that giant inflatable "Dos Equis" bottle. It's about a

certain house in our town.

Moe: Yeah, well what's wrong with this house? Is it the plumbing?

Marge: No. It's a house of ill fame. A house of loose ethics.

Brockman: Is there a building code violation? A drainage issue? A

surveying error?

Marge: [annoyed] The house is perfectly fine!

Wiggum: Well, then quite bad-mouthing the house!

Otto: Yeah, leave the house alone!

 

 

Very good pick. "Awww, this isn't going to be about Jesus, is it?"

 

Edit: I've picked. My thanks to BlackFlagg for picking for me while my Internet was down.

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Gert is on vacation, so I'll be making his picks for him.

 

Gert takes Season 5 Marge on the Lam starring miguel sanchez

 

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I'll take season 8 The Homer They Fall

 

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and Season 12 Homer vs Dignity

 

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Finally Gert now takes season 11 Take my wife sleaze

 

real_hells_satans_1.jpg

 

 

 

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The_Simpsons_5F15.png

 

Season 9, Episode 21: Girly Edition

 

Marge: Why didn't you tell me you were bringing home a filthy monkey?

Homer: This filthy monkey made the orange juice you're drinking!

 

(A "Bart's People" segment)

Bart: Joe Banks, 82 years young has come to this pond every day for the past 17 years, to feed the ducks. But last month, Joe made a discovery...the ducks...were gone! Some say the ducks went to Canada, others say Toronto. And some people think, that Joe used to sit down there, near those ducks. But it could be, that there is just no room in this modern world, for an old man...and his ducks

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I'm going to mildly contradict what I said before my previous pick about Lisa centered episodes being my least favorite because I'm going to go with my second Lisa centered episode pick in a row. I don't think this is the funniest episode left on the board but it's very well crafted and answers a question that had been posed long before it by Simpsons fans. For my twelfth pick, I'm going with...

 

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Season 9, Episode 17

"Lisa the Simpson"

 

 

Homer: I rounded up every Simpson in the Tri-City area so I can prove to you that there's nothing wrong with The Simpson genes. This is your great uncle Chet. Go ahead, Chet. Tell her what you do.

Chet: I run an unsuccessful shrimp company.

Homer: (Nervous) Oh...but you...RUN it...right?

Chet: Oh yeah

Homer: Okay...uh...this is your second cousin, Stanley!

Stanley: Um, I shoot birds at the airport.

Homer: (More nervous) Everybody hates birds, right? (Desperately looks around for a successful relative, finds a dapper looking fellow smoking a cigar) Well, you look pretty successful!

Guy: Thanks! I play a millionaire at parties. (Face drops) At least I'd...like to.

Bart: You probably should have researched this first, eh Dad?

Homer: What about you?

Guy 2: Well, sir, I step in front of cars and sue the driver.

Guy 3: I beg celebrities for money.

Guy 4: I'm a prison snitch.

Guy 5: Jug band manager

Guy 6: My legs hurt.

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Simpsons_8F22.png

 

Season 3, Episode 23 Bart's Friend Falls in Love

 

Hello, I'm actor Troy McClure. You kids might remember me from such

educational films as ``Lead Paint, Delicious But Deadly'' and ``Here

Comes the Metric System!''

 

 

I'm here to provide the facts about sex in a frank and straightforward manner.

And now, here's... ``Fuzzy Bunny's Guide To You-Know-What''...

 

"Ewwwwwww!'' (Wendell covers his eyes.)

 

She's faking it.

-- Ms. Krabappel

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09x16_840.jpg

 

Season 9, Episode 16 - Dumbbell Indemnity

 

I was going to draft this several rounds ago; I guess I somehow forgot. Good thing it's still here, then. This is a shit-hot episode for my favorite character, Moe, with solid Homer support.

 

"Quit saying Hawaii in there!"

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I don't know if I missed a PM or didn't get sent one, but here's my pick for Round 12:

Three_Men_and_a_Comic_Book.png

Season 2 Episode 21 Three Men and a Comic Book

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09x16_840.jpg

 

Season 9, Episode 16 - Dumbbell Indemnity

 

I was going to draft this several rounds ago; I guess I somehow forgot. Good thing it's still here, then. This is a shit-hot episode for my favorite character, Moe, with solid Homer support.

 

"Quit saying Hawaii in there!"

 

Shit, this was still available? On consecutive Sunday visits to my father last month, we watched two episodes (both later picked by Milky), both agreeing we'd forgotten how good they were. This was one. Cartridge Family was the other.

 

Edit: FUCK! Milky fucked me again, NKOTB was my next pick. Two Guys From Kabul was fuckin priceless.

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One of the later episodes that I actually thinks holds up very well in comparison to the earlier seasons. My favourite of the Christmas episodes.

 

Grift_of_the_Magi.JPG

 

Season 11, Episode 9 - Grift of the Magi

 

Fat Tony: I don't get mad. I get stabby.

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