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The Agent of Oblivion question of the day


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Guest Agent of Oblivion
Posted
You ever been kicked in the dick?
Posted

Thanks! You made me remember mentioning this in a thread somewhere, and now I have to go find it to see if it got a reply. Yes, I have... The teacher got mad at him when I tattled and asked "What happens if he pees blood now?" which made me scared I was going to start peeing blood. Luckily, it only bent it.

 

Edit: Oh yeah, that was another question of the day thread.

Posted

Oh yeah. Not since I was a kid, or at least not a real hard shot since I was a kid (wrestlers are some sadistic bastards, and some will literally whack you in the nuts just to say hello) but you never forget that kind of pain. I've heard that there are supposedly guys out there who just get mad if they get hit in the groin, and I am utterly flabbergasted by such a response. When it happened to me, the only available option seemed to be keeling over into a fetal ball and not moving for a couple minutes.

 

EDIT: now I wonder if that's why my junk is bent slightly downward, instead of a straight line or up up and away like the majority of penises seem to.

Guest Agent of Oblivion
Posted

The wife racked me in her sleep once. We were both sleeping on our sides, face-to-face. She suddenly decided to pull her knees up and snuggle, and drilled me.

 

Hard enough that it woke me up, and I'm difficult to wake up.

Posted
Oh yeah. Not since I was a kid, or at least not a real hard shot since I was a kid (wrestlers are some sadistic bastards, and some will literally whack you in the nuts just to say hello) but you never forget that kind of pain. I've heard that there are supposedly guys out there who just get mad if they get hit in the groin, and I am utterly flabbergasted by such a response. When it happened to me, the only available option seemed to be keeling over into a fetal ball and not moving for a couple minutes.

 

EDIT: now I wonder if that's why my junk is bent slightly downward, instead of a straight line or up up and away like the majority of penises seem to.

 

Sue Johanson of Sunday Night Sex Show fame taught me that when people are hit in the dick as a child, they form scar tissue and as their penis developes it will have a curve to it.

Posted

Yes. Once in a fight, and once by accident in gym class. Oh, and there was the time I was playing footbal in 7th grade recess and said football hit my in the groin, just like Hans Moleman.

Posted

I got racked trying to take a charge once in Jr. Jazz, flying knee to the little Mazters. One of the other kids on my teams mom said that the asshole coach of the other team tried to say I moved into it, the ref just turned to him and goes, "Your son just kicked that kid in the junk, that's a foul."

 

They had another player take my foul shots for me because I was crumpled up for awhile.

Guest Czech please!
Posted

Oh, I got hit with a football in the groin once too, Gary Floyd. One time in marching band freshman year, we were gathering beyond the endzone before halftime but had yet to line up in any sort of formation so we were all just scattered on the track or whatever. I was oblivious to the game at hand and so while I was talking to someone, the extra point hit me in the groin. Luckily I was far enough from the goalposts that the ball wasn't traveling particularly hard or fast, and I wasn't really facing the field so it just sort of grazed me at a however-many-degree angle. I just got an anecdote out of it. Surprisingly, not many people saw it, and so it never really haunted me through high school like it should have, considering the life-imitating-art ramifications of it all.

Posted

Yeah...2nd grade, I was chasing after this girl I had a big crush on at the time and she kicked me in the dick. I guess love really does hurt sometimes. Yuck yuck yuck! It's also happened a few occasions during fights with my brothers but I don't think anybody's kicked me in the groin since I was 12 or so.

 

Also to add to the getting hit in the groin with a football story, there's sadly been two occasions where I was in my backyard shooting hoops, absentmindedly dribbling the ball and lost in my thoughts when the ball somehow hit me in the nuts when it bounced up to comic effect (fortunately, I was alone on both occasions). I've mentioned this story before on the board and Czech asked me how the hell it happened and I really have no idea whatsoever.

Guest Smues
Posted

No, but I got kicked JUST above one time and it hurt plenty bad. We were playing basketball in junior high gym class and I made a clean steal from some girl, and she took offense to this and made a grab at the ball, sunk her nails into my arm, and kicked me just above the dick really damn hard. To my credit I still hung onto the ball, while she continued to press those nails into my skin, but damn that hurt. Damn women don't play fair.

Guest Vitamin X
Posted

I tend to have my dick going up so my nuts take the punishment. And that's happened a couple times. I'd rather be infertile than have a bent dick.

Posted

Worst that's happened to my genitals is that thing where you adjust your legs while sitting and squish one of your nuts in the process. I've been hit in the face/head with all kinds of stuff though. It'd explain my looks, amirite? Anyway, basketballs, footballs, rocks, books, and a brick (the one I don't remember, it was when I was four I'm told).

Guest Czech please!
Posted

Yeah, I've done that leg adjustment of doom before as well. Given all my tales of misfortune I've shared over the years, it's unfair that the most pain I've ever been in was just from repositioning myself in my reading chair, alone, in my bedroom.

Posted

It's like biting your tongue or the inside of your mouth, except it makes me feel much stupider. Nah, biting the inside of my mouth is probably the dumbest thing I think I've done. I can't help that I have such great, dimpled cheeks.

Posted

I just did the leg adjustment thing a few minutes ago. Fortunately, I did it slowly enough that I was able to stop before doing too much damage. I zippered my dick one time (quite painful) and did the whole "piss after handling hot peppers and not washing your hands" thing, but I've never been kicked in the dick. I can't remember the last time I got hit full-on in the nuts.

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