Random Dumbass of the Month

[converge241 0]

from the Orlando Sentinel

 

Based on a bet by the other members of his threesome, Everett Sanchez

tried

to wash his own "balls" in a ball washer at the local golf course.

Proving

once again that beer and testosterone are a bad mix, Sanchez managed to

straddle the ball washer and dangle his scrotum in the machine. Much to

his dismay, one of his buddies upped the ante by spinning the crank on

the

machine with Sanchez's scrotum in place, thus wedging them solidly in

the

mechanism. Sanchez, who immediately passed his threshold of pain,

collapsed and tumbled from his perch.

 

 

Unfortunately for Sanchez, the ball washer was more than a foot higher

than

his testicles are in a normal stance, and the scrotum was the weakest

link.

Sanchez's scrotum was ripped open during the fall : one testicle was

plucked from him forever and remained in the ball washer, while the

other

testicle was compressed and flattened as it was pulled between the

housing

of the washer, and the rotating machinery inside. To add insult to

injury,

Sanchez broke a new $300 driver that he had just purchased from the pro

shop, and was using to balance himself. Sanchez was rushed to the

hospital

for surgery, and the remaining two members of the threesome were asked

to

leave the course.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Brutal fluff.

[treble 0]

This is pretty old, too. I think this guy won a Darwin Award for his suffering, so the story has a happy ending.

[Guest Fook]

Anyone else cringe while reading that? I mean, he broke a brand new $300 driver! That's gotta be rough on the old bank account.

[Kaertos 0]

Good Lord...

 

I just have no response other than that...

[nl5xsk1 0]

I've done some dumb things.

 

I've watched my friends do some dumb things.

 

But as soon as those dumb things involve testicals and/or the schlong, I tend to draw the line. Seriously, how faded would you have to be to think that putting your balls in a golf course ball washer is a good idea.

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

At least on the bright side of things this dolt won't be able to spawn...

[TheDevilAndGodAreRagingInsideMe 0]

Oh my god.

 

I just cringed and crossed my legs after that.

[Guest Dids]

The point that's being missed her is that HE isn't the idiot. Sure he put his balls in the ball washer, but it was his friend who spun the crank and caused all the problems.

 

If one of my friends fucked up and my nutsack got ripped off of my body, you'd better believe that he's paying with his.

[Guest I Got Banned for Sucking]

Anyone else cringe while reading that? I mean, he broke a brand new $300 driver! That's gotta be rough on the old bank account.

 

Would that beat the pain of pregnancy in it's own smaller way?

 

I'm looking for someone that's experienced both.

[snuffbox 0]

Anyone else cringe while reading that?  I mean, he broke a brand new $300 driver!  That's gotta be rough on the old bank account.

 

Would that beat the pain of pregnancy in it's own smaller way?

 

I'm looking for someone that's experienced both.

Youre trying to find someone thats had their nuts ripped off and given birth?

 

 

 

Good luck with that....

[Guest Museite]

Anyone else cringe while reading that?  I mean, he broke a brand new $300 driver!  That's gotta be rough on the old bank account.

 

Would that beat the pain of pregnancy in it's own smaller way?

 

I'm looking for someone that's experienced both.

Youre trying to find someone thats had their nuts ripped off and given birth?

 

 

 

Good luck with that....

You may be more likely to find someone who has ripped someone else's nuts off whilst giving birth

[Guest I Got Banned for Sucking]

Anyone else cringe while reading that?  I mean, he broke a brand new $300 driver!  That's gotta be rough on the old bank account.

 

Would that beat the pain of pregnancy in it's own smaller way?

 

I'm looking for someone that's experienced both.

Youre trying to find someone thats had their nuts ripped off and given birth?

 

 

 

Good luck with that....

That was so obviously a joke...

 

But how about a transexual? That's pretty much what's happened them going from a guy to a girl and if they have given birth.

[Guest Museite]

Omg...yes...i know it was a joke but your next comment...ack

 

But how about a transexual? That's pretty much what's happened them going from a guy to a girl and if they have given birth

 

Ok IB, challenge time, find me a transexual (male -> female) who has given birth.

 

"Resisting the temptation to say a cutting remark to IB since 9:51am BST"

[Guest I Got Banned for Sucking]

Omg...yes...i know it was a joke but your next comment...ack

 

But how about a transexual? That's pretty much what's happened them going from a guy to a girl and if they have given birth

 

Ok IB, challenge time, find me a transexual (male -> female) who has given birth.

 

"Resisting the temptation to say a cutting remark to IB since 9:51am BST"

Yeah, I can't find one... But I'm sure that there is someone in the world that's had a sex change to be a female and has given birth.

 

And don't be a pussy by resisting the temptation for what I'm sure will be such a "cutting remark".

 

Fucking dickheads that jump on bandwagons...

[Guest croweater]

I'm resisting the temptation to make fun of the above comment.

But guys who have sex changes to become female don't ovulate, don't have a uterus, ovaries, vagina ( it's actually a piece of their colon that has been cut out and moved forward) they can't have children as they are still genetically males. The only thing different is they have no penis or balls and have something that resembles a vagina.

 

just so you know, and don't ask a question like this at school and horribly embarrass yourself.

[Guest I Got Banned for Sucking]

I'm resisting the temptation to make fun of the above comment.

But guys who have sex changes to become female don't ovulate, don't have a uterus, ovaries, vagina ( it's actually a piece of their colon that has been cut out and moved forward) they can't have children as they are still genetically males. The only thing different is they have no penis or balls and have something that resembles a vagina.

 

just so you know, and don't ask a question like this at school and horribly embarrass yourself.

I'm sure that they could have changes made to their sexual organs, could they not?

[Guest croweater]

No.

For this you would need the stem cells, hormone therapy and more and technology and understanding that will probably never be known. You can't turn male DNA into female DNA and we can't grow ovaries.

[Guest I Got Banned for Sucking]

Ah, ok then. I was wrong on that one.

 

How do you know this? An interest of yours and/or career?

[Guest croweater]

I'm doing second year medicine.

 

Most of these things are pretty easily explained in high school biology.

 

Though I don't ever plan to do a sex change operation. it was hard enough cutting off my cadaver's penis and extracting his testicles earlier this year.

[Guest I Got Banned for Sucking]

I'm doing second year medicine.

 

Most of these things are pretty easily explained in high school biology.

 

Though I don't ever plan to do a sex change operation. it was hard enough cutting off my cadaver's penis and extracting his testicles earlier this year.

Wow. Hard emotionally or physically? Or both?

[Guest croweater]

both.

 

It was hard to do, physically for reasons I can not discuss but emotionally it's hard to make a cut through some one elses cock. It's like a no go zone. Plus, the dude had been dead for a good 2 years, things weren't exactly healthy lookin'.

[Guest I Got Banned for Sucking]

Well, I'm not going to say that I would never do it, but I'm also not going to say that cutting around a corpse's genitalia would exactly be easy either.

 

I commend you.

[Guest Museite]

But guys who have sex changes to become female don't ovulate, don't have a uterus, ovaries, vagina ( it's actually a piece of their colon that has been cut out and moved forward)

Holy Shit

[Guest croweater]

It's really bizzare what random general knowledge comes out of my head sometimes.

I'd be really good at a fucked up quiz night or something.

The rate of transexuals committing suicide is really high due to the fact that after the operation they can no longer orgasm, nor feel anything sexually.................................. I think that came from taxi-cab confessions so it MUST BE TRUTH!

[Guest I Got Banned for Sucking]

Then why the fuck would they have a sex change based around sexuality?

 

I mean sure, being a woman might make you happy, but if you can't have an orgasm or feel anything sexually... well, if you were anticipating a sex change, which would you prefer?

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

It was hard to do, physically for reasons I can not discuss

 

What do you mean you can't discuss it? Was it sinuous or what? I've never cut my dick open, or anyone else's for that matter.

[Use Your Illusion 0]

Anyone else cringe while reading that? I mean, he broke a brand new $300 driver! That's gotta be rough on the old bank account.

I love Fook.

[Guest Fook]

Right back at ya, Slick.

[King Cucaracha 0]

To add insult to injury, Sanchez broke a new $300 driver that he had just purchased from the pro shop, and was using to balance himself.

 

Call me stupid, but surely that'd be the least of the guy's worries.

 

 

Other than that...all I can say is ye-ouch.