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It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it.

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How To Vibrate
 

A Day in the Blagojevich Trial

Well, at least when he starts showing up   .9:30-Blagojevich enters building   .9:45-Jesse Jackson's kid comments on accusations while under oath. He begins to speak like his father, saying "I wanna cut (Rod's) nuts off."   .10:00-Blagojevich saddened when he learns Sifl and Olly can't be a part of his defense team-and that they are fictional characters.   .10:25-Blagojevich tries to defend his "Harry Potter" slash fan fiction.   .10:35-Blagojevich and prosecutors come to agreement that "Blagosphere" is one of the most retarded things ever to be uttered by the news media.   .10:55-Blagojevich compares self to The GZA.   .11:30-Judge giggles and titters like a schoolgirl when he discovers Zach Effron is one of the prosecutors.   .11:45-Awkward moment in which Rahm Emanuel says he can still smell wife on his index and middle fingers.   .11:50-Things become more awkward when someone says they "smell a little bit of the gay around here." Enigma is then expelled from the building. Sadly, he still posts at TSM.   .12:00-Lunchbreak! Today it's Dominos. Rahm's wife thinks it's too much like wet cardboard with cheese and Pizzasauce.   .1:00-Trial resumes.   .1:45-Illinois Senator Dick Durbin tells us us of his anger over "The Wrestler" and "The Dark Knight" not being nominated for best picture.   .2:15-Robert Byrd shows up for no reason-it happens from time to time.   .2:50-Burris says something about a "serial pillist"   .3:15-Harry Reid disagrees with Blagojevich's "National Jingus Sucks Week" initiative. Nation mourns.   .3:50-Senate confused when Blagojevich says "she rolled on my dick like an ectasy pill."   .4:00-Trial ends for the day.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

The Internet is driving me crazy

In case you didn't know, the internet is where political debate and a personal opinion go to die. Now everywhere I go online, I hear bullshit like "OBAMA A SECRET MUSLIM" or "PALIN AN EVIL WOMAN!"   This is what politics has transformed into: a shouting match. Taunting each other. Puffing one's chest. Saying retarded things like "Barack Obama HUSSEIN!!!!" This is not political discussion or observation. This is childish bullshit. This has become The Justice League vs. The Legion of Doom for some people. How else would you explain the popularity of political blogs that say the same right wing and left wing talking points?   This is retarded. I do not want McCaine to be the next president.* I also wish people on both sides were better than this, and that dumb personal attacks, "our way or the high way" and "America: love it or leave it" bullshit didn't exist. But it does. Maybe it's because the internet has given retarded mouth breathers a voice that no one with a properly functioning brain would want to hear. People should be better than this, but they aren't. In a perfect world, we wouldn't have the likes of Michael Moore and Sean Hannity. It's not a eprfect world though.   In short, until you have something to say that's 1.) Not a talking point, 2.) Actually intelligent, 3.) Not a stupid personal attack on character that has nothing to with the issues, or 4.) Mature, then I don't want to hear it. Blow it out of your ass. People like this are what's ruining political discourse in this country. It has gotten to a point where disagreement leads to insults and shouting. Come on, you can be better than that.     *I do however, want to fuck Palin's brains out.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

5
How To Vibrate
 

The Dunwich Horror

Dunwich child
you know not your fathers name
dope numbs the pain
ascend dark wooded hills to kane
your mothers witches
burnt at the stake for sorcery
you were conceived
upon the altar, rites obscene

child of Dunwich rise
you have your fathers eyes
child of Dunwich rise
end the world that you despise

Dunwich child,
of whispered past now they'll learn
high on the hill
black clouds gather, now they'll burn
bay at the stars
why was I born at all?
hear voices of doom
from other world your fathers call

our time has come
the end has begun.....
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

The "death" of Vince McMahon

Vince, you old bastard, you did it: You got me to post in the WWE folders again.   In case you haven't seen it, Vince got in his lime last night at the end of Raw, and   Yep, they killed the Mr. McMahon character. Or at least for a while.   This is awesome. Yeah, it's dumb, but that's why it's great. TNA may have some of the better workers, but they can't come up with something like this. They come up with bullshit like VKM tormenting the WWE or Ron Killings doing horrible raps dissing the WWE. This is one of the reasons why compared to Vince, no matter how bad the product is (it's actually been decent lately), is still more interesting and better than TNA. I only watch TNA every now and again. I watch WWE more. Hell, it's got me posting in the WWE folders again, which I haven't done in ages.   I am talking about wrestling again, which I haven't done in ages. I haven't been this interested in a long time. This folks, is good television.   Of course, Vince will return. But for now, let's enjoy it.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

7
How To Vibrate
 

Resident Evil:Extinction (Day 2)

02.) Resident Evil: Extinction (2007)

Plot: The third entry in the "Resident Evil" movie franchise sees Alice (Milla Jovovich) and a band of survivors from the previous (horrible) movie (including Oded Fehr and Mike "Where's Ice Cube?" Epps) and some new faces (Ali Larter as Claire Redfield and Ashanti-yes, that Ashanti) in a world reduced to a desert by the T-Virus. There's still plenty of undead, and the Umbrella Corperation want Alice-as she's the original. See, there's these clones-oh come on, you aren't watching this for plot.

Review: Not a good movie by any stretch of the imagination, the third entry in the series is actually the best of the series so far. Sure, it's far from original-cribbing elements from Day of the Dead (1985) (domesticating the dead) and The Mad Max movies (post apocalyptic desert landscape), but it at least has some decent points to go with the mindless action.

For starters, there is thankfully more undead action this time around, with sun baked zombies at nearly every corner. Also absent this time is dreadful Nu-Metal, and that's always a plus. The acting is at least competant, and the movie itself is the most competantly directed entry in the series, managing to make sure you don't get bored for the large part. Also, if you don't like Ashanti, you'll be glad to know her role is small (as is her time in the movie).

That out of the way, the fact that Alice has powers and superhuman abilities (from the last movie, which I like to pretend didn't happen) is really dumb. That reminds me, you really don't care about anybody in this movie, as there is no character development whatsoever throughout. People appaear and disappear, and those who die are people you really didn't see much of anyways. The ending also leaves room for yet another sequal, and really, do we need another one. Ok, it made about $150 Million worldwide, so it's inevetible. That out of the way,t he series needs to end, as we can't keep getting sequal after sequal. It's tiresome.

Still, it's a decent Saturday afternoon flick, and if you don't think too hard while watching it, you might sorta enjoy it.

Final Verdict: 6/10. Dumb popcorn entertainment not at it's best, but hardly at it's worst, and is at least the best "Resident evil" movie so far. Check it out if nothing else is on.

Next time: Zombie Bloodbath

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

6
How To Vibrate
 

This Is How We Do It

This is How We Do It
La ra ra ra ra ra...

This is how we do it.
Its friday night, and I feel all right
The party is here on the west side
So I reach for my 40 and I turn it up
Designated driver take the keys to my truck
Hit the shore cause Im faded
Honeys in the street say, monty, yo we made it!
It feels so good in my hood tonight
The summertime skirts and the guys in kani
All the gang bangers forgot about the drive-by
You gotta get your groove on, before you go get paid
So tip up your cup and throw your hands up
And let me hear the party say

1- Im kinda buzzed and its all because
(this is how we do it)
South central does it like nobody does
(this is how we do it)
To all my neighbors you got much flavor
(this is how we do it)
Lets flip the track, bring the old school back
(this is how we do it)

This is how we do it, all hands are in the air
And wave them from here to there
If youre an o.g. mack or a wanna-be player
You see the hoods been good to me
Ever since I was a lower-case g
But now Im a big g. the girls see I got the money
A hundred-dollar bills yall

If you were from where Im from then you would know
That I gotta get mine in a big black truck
You can get yours in a 64

Whatever it is, the partys underway
So tip up your cup and throw your hands up
And let me hear the party say
(repeat 1...)

Im kinda buzzed and its all because
(this is how we do it)
South central does it like nobody does
(this is how we do it)
Ynv, scc, all my homies
(this is how we do it)
Ill never come wack on an old school track

Rap:

Check it out!
Once upon a time in 94
Montell made no money and life sure was slow
All they said was 68 he stood
And people thought the music that he made was good
There lived a d.j. and paul was his name
He came up to monty, this is what he said
You and og are gonna make some cash
Sell a million records and well make in a dash

(repeat 1, ad lib to fade...)
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

10
How To Vibrate
 

The Worst Horror Movie Sequals Ever Made

-I forgot to mention in my last entry that I read both "WrestleCrap" and "The Death Of WCW". Still great stuff.   -Anyways, I've changed my mind, and instead decided to list the worst horror movie sequals ever made instead of the worst movie sequals ever made. Here thay are, in no particualr order:   Hellraiser: Bloodline-To me, this is the worst of the seven sequals. Sure, III was the beginning of the downfall, 5 and 6 were dreadful, and 7 and 8 were watchable (I kinda liked 7), but the fourth entry in the series is the worst because IMO, it had so many possibilities (in spite of it's tacked on sci-fi gimmick) to be good. Pinhead gets in some great lines ("Do I look like someone who cares about what God thinks?") and it has some interesting cenobites, as well as a cool backstory. However, it all feels rushed and incomplete. Basically, it feels like a wasted opportunity.   Friday the 13th 8-The worst of the series, this one is really boring, and feels uninspired. Plus, Jason really doesn't do that much in Manhatten.   Zombi 4: After Death-While "Zombi 3" is bad, it's at least entertainingly bad. This one is the worst of the series, as it has no interesting gore, characters, or even interesting Zombies. It's all just really boring, and proof that America isn't the only place were shitty sequals are made. Fun fact: Don "The Dragon" Wilson has a small role in the movie, and from what I read in a book, one of the lead actors is also a gay pornstar.   Return of the Living Dead 4 and 5-These two movies are complete disasters in the world of zombie cinema, and a slap to the face of any ROTLD fan.   Child's Play III-No interesting kills, an underused Chucky, and a horrible ending make this one a complete disaster. At least we got "Bride of Chucky" after this one.   Pet Cemetary II-Dull, nonsensical, and really just pointless, this is one of the worst sequals to a Stephan King Adaptation I can think of.   The Ring 2-To think, Iactually like the remake more than the Japanese original. Here, Samara becomes a cheap Freddy Krueger knock off, and loses everything that made her scary. Way to go Hollywood.   Return Of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre-The only thing good in this movie is Matthew McConaughey as a psychopathic redneck named Vilmer. The rest of this (including Leatherface as a cowardly transvestite) is an insult.   That's all for now. Next time: severely underappreciated Horror movies, part one
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

8
How To Vibrate
 

A message to Chazz

Look, just wanted to let you know that you aren't threatening or imposing in any way, shape, or form, that you are terrible at comebacks (seriously, "Your Mom" jokes?) and insults (LOL OBAMA SOUNDS LIKE OSAMA, SO I'LL CALL HIM OSAMA!!! AREN'T I CLEVER), and that you are annoying if anything. So yeah, you should shut the fuck up.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

5
How To Vibrate
 

ROLLING STONE GAVE CHINESE DEMOCRACY 4 OUT OF 5 STARS!!!!

IT WILL OBVIOUSLY BE GREAT!!!!!!   Yeah, well they also gave St Anger 4 stars, as well as 50 Cent's The Massacre, Emiem's Encore, and several other shitty albums. 4 stars from Rolling Stone don't mean shit. Oh, and they gave Mick Jagger's Goddess on the Doorway 5 stars-no solo Mick Jagger solo album is good ,you out of touch cocksuckers.   Also, quit fooling yourselves: this is not Guns N' Roses. Yeah, it's called Guns N' Roses, but it's not, ok people. It's just Axl Rose (and his enormous ego's) solo project. Nothing more, nothing less. Oh, and it's pretty unlikely it will live up to all the hype.   Don't agree? Tough shit. Quit sucking the guy's cock and face the facts. Unless you forgot The Spagghetti Incident.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

5
How To Vibrate
 

Lenna's reign has ended.

May 29th, 2007: Leena's reign of terror ends.   I'm suprised this happened, to be honest. Sure, she's been banned before (and will probably return) but I'm suprised she lasted this long. She was a pain in the ass, and nobody but Matt Young liked her. She was a female version of MikeSC, only occasionaly funny, and also prone to start arguments. She also was incredibly insecure, with no known "friends" outside of myspace and this forum (some poeple actually liked her...God knows why.) She posted pictures of shit in WP threads, which was still less upsetting than WP. She pissed off Carlito Brigante, which was always funny.   And now she's gone.   I personally won't miss her. I stopped caring about her a long time ago. I did defend her once, but that was just to get to Oblivious Heel (who was that anyways?) So anything about her stopped interesting me.   So yeah, good riddence, or good bye, I guess.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

5
How To Vibrate
 

Return of The Mack

-First things first: That "mutant baby" picture (it's Czech's new Avatar Picture) scares the fucking shit out of me. That may be one of the scariest things I've seen on the internet, and I've seen some terrifying shit on the internet.   -I can seem to quit listening to the new Ghostface Killah album. It's that damn good. Anyone who enjoys hip hop should give this one a listen. Plus, it doesn't cost very much, and it's got some awesome producers (the late J.Dilla, Pete Rock, MF Doom, Just Blaze). Also, I'm looking forward to the new Current 93 CD (should be out by May or June), the new Aphex Twin CD (out on the 18th. It has the best tracks from last years Analord vinyl series), the new Mono album (a great post-rock band from Japan. It's being produced by Steve Albini), and a re-issue of shoegazer band Chapterhouse's album Whirlpool (complete with bonus tracks from ep's). Also, I might get the new Goldfrapp CD, and the new one from The Sounds (they are a new guilty pleasure for me).   -All of my classes were cancled yesterday. I still got a ton of homework to do.   -A guy in a dorm a few rooms from me keeps playing the three songs over and over again, and it's driving me crazy: Lovers And Friends by Usher w/ Lil' Jon and Ludacris, The Crossroads by Bone Thugs N Harmony, and Love by Keisha Cole. I have to hear these songs for 50 minutes every fucking morning.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

6
How To Vibrate
 

Bad Chuck-E-Cheese Memories

When I was a kid of 4-5 years of age, I remember my mom taking me to Chuck-E-Cheese. To say it was a good experience would be a big lie.   I can't believe I still remember this, but here it goes.   I remember that all of the kids were real fucking brats. I mand real brats. The kind of brats who treat all the other kids like shit, scream for God knows what reason, and basically were little worthless bastards. Also, the Animatronic Animals creeped me out as a kid. The things sang with no melody or rhythm, and even looked creepy. I don't care who you are, but if you see a robotic rat singing to you with it's friends, then you are going to be creeped out. Oh, and the games were shit. And don't get me started with the pizza. The worst pizza on Earthy is sold at Chuck-E-Cheese.   Anyways, after that experience, I thought I would never go there again. Think again.   On one of my brother's birthdays in the mid 90's, he wanted to go to Chuck-E-Cheese. I sucked it in and decided to go, thinking "hey, how could it be?" Well, pretty bad.   The pizza was still bad. The games still sucked. The kids were still brats. The worst thing though, was the 17-30 year old guys whyo would go there. These guys didn't come with their families. Oh no, they came with their friends, or usually, by themselves.   I remember playing "Primal Rage" (hell yes), and when I was done, a little kid (about at least 7 years of age) competed with a guy who was in his 20's. The guy in his 20's won, and to make matters worse for the kid, rubbed it in the little guys face.   That's right, these guys went to Chuck-E-Cheese to beat kids at video games so they could feel better about themselves.   How pathetic do you have to be to go to a place for kids 5-10 years of age, just so you can beat those at video games and gloat about it? Answer: Really pathetic. I mean spanking it to furry porn in your mother's basement in your 20's pathetic. The kind of pathetic reserved for would be child molestors with three inch dicks.   The moral of this story? If I ever get married and have kids, I will never go to Chuck-E-Cheese. Never again.   I hate that place.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

5
How To Vibrate
 

SHOCKING NEWS!!!!

Go away Enigma. Nobody likes you. Nobody cares about whatever useless newsbit you just got from The Observer. Nobody wants to see your long haired mug everytime you post. In fact, nobody likes it when you post. Just stop posting. Nobody will miss you. I doubt that even much of the WWE folder likes you that much. Nobody cares that some arena got torn down, or that Michael Cole turned 40, or whatever. Just stop it. Oh, and how do you know what gay smells like? "I smell a little bit of "the gay" around here is one of the worst things said on this board.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

A Letter to Leena

Dear Leena,   I doubt you are reading this-actually, since you seem to have OCD when it comes to TSM, you probably are, so here goes: People don't like you not because you just happen to be a woman. People don't like you because you're you. You are completely unlikable, do nothing but act superior to others, have mood swings, and behave like a total bitch. Maybe if you didn't obsess over this place (seriously, there's other message boards better and worse than this one), and got an attitude adjustment, then you wouldn't be a punchline. And who obsesses over a fucking message board anyway? How much free time do you have in your hands? We aren't forums.somethingawful.com ya know. My guess: a lot. Really, we aren't worthy of so much attenton. Maybe you just do this because it gets you the attention you cannot obtain in the real world (you know, that amazing place outside of the internet-yes, it really exists!) So in short: get a life, and drop the martyr complex.   Love, gary floyd   P.S. Paul fucking sucks.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

1
How To Vibrate
 

A trip to Wal-Mart

Note: if you are expecting a "Walmart is the scorn of America because it's an evil corperation and it ruins smaller ones" rant, then this is not the entry for you. Otherwise, enjoy   I went to Walmart last Tuesday. Normally, I only go there to get food, but other than that, I usually don't go there. Not because they"are trying to destroy the world" as some would want you to believe, but because other than the low prices, they just don't interest me. Oh, and because of the customers and workers.   Anywho, I decided that I need a new pair of headphones, so I asked where they are located. The girl I asked in the electronics looked at me for about fifteen seconds like I was an idiot. Now maybe I should have known where they were, but that's beyond the point. As I already said, I normally don't go to Walmart, so how the hell should I know where the headphones are in the electronics section? She eventually helped me, but still looked at me like I was retarded.   The people at the cash register aren't any better. They were either a.) old people who should be retired already or b.) lazy teenagers who have no clue how their jo works. I ended up getting the teen. It was some fat chick, who always seemed pissed off and was also rude, though not as bad as the girl that I mentioned earlier. Oh, and she was also fat. What is it about Walmart that seems to attract fat people?   Oh, and there is a reason that this place is called "white trash capital of the world": because it is dangerously filled with white trash. You know, unwashed, tattooed guys with horrendous mullets, and mothers who hit their children in public. Oh, and ladies, leave that shit at home. Hell, leave your kids at home. I don't need to hear you yelling at them and smacking them around in public. That's just disturbing.   So, what did I learn from all of this? I learned that next time I need headphones, I'll go to Radio Shack.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

5
How To Vibrate
 

Zombie Bloodbath (Day 3)

03.) Zombie Bloodbath (1993)

Plot: Zombies rise from an nuclear power plant (built on top of an Indian Battle Ground-oh no!) and attack Kansas.

Before I get to reviewing this, it's time for a history lesson. You see, in the 80's, we started to see really (and I mean really) low budget horror. Granted, microbudget horror is nothing new. People were churning out cheap exploitation made for crackerjack money back in the 60's and 70's. The 80's though, gave us a new device: the camcorder. That's right,now anyone could do their own backyard effort. Also, it should be known that the 60's-70's microbudget directors at least had some sort of experience in the business of film and television. The folks with camcorders though, didn't. If there is any consolation, the 1982 shot-on-video "classic" Boardinghouse received a theatrical release in Grindhouse theaters, and is watchable in a what the fuck did I just watch way.

The 90's were a dark time to be a horror fan. Sure, Scream came out and gave horror another chance, but it unfortunately lead to a series of poor imitators and inferior sequels, giving the movie some unneeded (but predictable) scorn from angry virgins. The Silence of the Lambs won Oscars, but Hollywood didn't want to call it horror, when it clearly was. Oh, and while there were still zombie movies, they were few and far between. So, that lead to the greatest catastrophe to come to horror from the 90's to this millennium(I think they ended in 2002): the Shot on Camcorder zombie movie. These movies offered something studio horror didn't offer: full on hardcore gore, sexual content, nudity, and zombie mayhem. Sadly, they were done by people with no experience whatsoever in the field of film making, which meant that they were all horrible in every conceivable level, and not in a so bad it's good way. I mean in a so bad it's bad way. Imagine watching somebody's home videos/home movies for about 80-90 minutes. There you go.

Now, on to our

Review: This is actually the first in trilogy of films from "filmmaker" Todd Sheets, who admits his movies are unwatchable. Instead of reviewing it, here's what you have in store:

Horrible mullets. Terrible, rubbery gore A man named Sam (modeled after Sam Kinison) doing a speech about his dead goldfish Butthead. The worse handlebar mustache every committed to anything. Horrible attempts at exposition. No real plot to speak of. Terrible music. Bad gore and make up effects. Terrible attempts at gags. The fact that, just like in every other Shot on Camcorder zombie movie, nobody involved had any previous acting experience. I think you get the point. I've already suffered through it. Don't let it happen to you.

Rating: 0/10. You'd have more fun watching a home video of a colostomy than watching this. Avoid at all costs.

Tomorrow: Carnival of Souls.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

4
How To Vibrate
 

Food Network Funky Shit

Well, what did i do other than read, waste time on the internet, and see "Casino Royale" over the weekend? I watched something I never really do watch: The Food Network. As I was watching it, here's the personalities that stuck out the most.   Emeril: I swear, this man is on drugs, because I haven't seen an adult man this excited on television in a long time. The sheer hyperactivity is alarming, because you are waiting for him to have a heart attack down the road. Really, I'm suprised to see that the man is still alive.   Rachael Ray: She's not that ugly. Sure, she sounds like a guy, but she has a decent body. She's pretty damn annoying though, and from what I hear, she has a daytime talkshow now. It's amazing to see a woman so oppsessed with making quick meals.   Alton Brown: AKA Mr. Know it all. This guy really seems to think that he is God's gift to food related television programs. The "humor" applied to his "Good Eats" show is piss poor at best. Also, he looks like a child molester. Come on, look at the motherfucker, he practically screams "Hey kid, I've got candy in my car. Wanna hop in?"   Paula Dean: I have officially found a new induction into my "creepy television" list. This woman honestly scares the shit out of me with her cheerful demenor, love of all things fat and buttery, ungrateful brats, creepy smile, and well, the list goes on. There is no way this lady will ever have a heart attack, since her entire bloodstream is obviously made up of mayo, butter, fat, and high levels of sodium and cholesterol. She's always smiling, which leads me to think she's got some serious psychological issues. Come on, no one smiles that damn much. She's almost always cheerful, causing me to wonder if she's got corpses of sexually abused children in her home like Gacy did. Oh, then there's her two adult sons. Holy shit, is there a bigger pair of fucking ungrateful brats on television today? I think not. Honestly, if I were Paula Dean, I would have killed myself years ago.   So those are the 4 people on The Food Network that scare me the most.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

7
How To Vibrate
 

Worst (and most annoying) People of '08

Not posters, people.   Wost Overall: Rod Blagojevich-It's all pretty obvious really. Trying to sell Obama's seat is one thing, and so is corruption, and that hair which makes him look like a giant Lego figurine, but witholding money from a fucking Children's hospital is another.   Rush Limbaugh-From racist comments, "Operation Chaos", and saying "COLIN POWELL ONLY SUPPORTS OBAMA CUZ HEZ BLACK LOL!", Rush contimues to make my blood boil.   Alex Jones and the 9/11 Truth Moviement-Also file under "why won't they go away" These idiots, no matter how many times they are proven wrong, no matter how many times science, common sense, and logic disproves them, continue to cling to straws, It's like arguing with a kid who just sticks their fingers in their ears and says "LA LA LA I'M NOT LISTENING!" Even Bill Clinton called them out.   Ron Paul Fans-The most annoying political supporters don't go to McCain, or to Obama-they go to Ron Paul. Picking up truthers, white supremacists, dumb anarchist kids, dumb teenagers, frat boys, socialists, hippies-they all flocked in. I hate them.   Lifetime Achievement Award-Robert Mugabe-As much as I dislike Bush, he ain't got shit on this motherfucker. Really. He earned it in a way. This is pure evil incarnate people.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

The Madcap Laughs

This entry is dedicated to late Pink Floyd founder Syd Barrett, who died last week. RIP Syd, you will always be missed.   Syd Barrett 1946-2006 RIP   And now, onto other things   -I got Edward Lee's "The Bighead" last Saturday, and so far, it's great, and really disgusting. So far, it has consumption of shit, piss, rape, inbred rednecks, a profane priest, a nymphomaniac, cannibalism, hardcore sex, a disgusting bit with a colostomy bag, murder, a newborn baby having it's head bashed in, a pair of evil perverted nuns from hell, and more. And I'm not even half way done. I'll get to a review of it when I'm done, though at this point, it looks like a review of Joe Lansdales zombie western "Dead in the West" won't be for a long while.   -I got Thom Yorke's "The Eraser" Yesterday, and it's great. A lot of glitchy techno, with gutiar and bass only appearing (seperatly) on two tracks. Felonies said it reminded him of recent Radiohead b-sides, and I agree-and think that it's a good thing. I dig glitchy, weirds techno.   -There's problems right now between Isreal and Hizbollah. Well, what's new? I'm sorry, but there's always been problems in the Middle East. There have been problems in the Middle East for God knows how long. So, what do I think? Well, we can't settle it with war, because we can't get in another war. At the same time though, we can't solve this diplomatically, because as the past has proven, there is no real diplomatic solution right now, or possibly even in the future.   -"Little Man" is the number 2 movie in America right now, and proves once again that the majority of movie goers today are idiots.   -"The Venture Brothers" and "Tom Goes To The Mayor" continue to kick ass on Adult Swim. That is all.   That's all for now. Next time: Your guess is as good as mine.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

5
How To Vibrate
 

Reasons Why "Return To The 36 Chambers" is Awesome.

It's hilarious, distrubing, perverse, scatalogical, homophobic, mysoginistic, violent, schizo-in short, it's what many a white rapper has tried to accomplish, and failed to deliever. Rza's Production-"My beats are slammin' from the rugged programmin'" He brags about being on welfare. "Brooklyn Zoo" is awesome, but "Damage", "Proteck Your Neck II In The Zoo" and "Harlem World" deserve plenty of love. "Drunk Game (Sweer Sugar Pie)" in it's entirety. "I'm the baddest Hip Hop Man on the Planet!" He raps, sings, howls, bellows, forgets his rhymes-it's the musical equivelent of a paranoid crackhead on open mic night. Like The Gravediggaz "6 Feet Deep", it does what Insane Clown Posse and many of their peers tried to do, but failed to in the fact that it's violent, sexist, and really fucking funny instead of completely horrible. The opening. "Never in the History of Hip Hop" has never been used so appropriately. He randomly sings "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" Words of aadvice: "Go To School. Take a shit. Don't wipe ya ass." His Hip Hop drops on ya head like ra-a-ain His balls are fragile like eggs. GZA's performance on "Damage" is among his most underrated-plus, it's fun to hear him loosen up a bit. Not only is there no other Hip Hop album like it, there's no other album quite like it. It's a realy one in a kind experience that everyone must experience to truly understand or love.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

2
How To Vibrate
 

Best and Worst of TSM 2008

Best Poster-Agent of Oblivion. Honerable mention goes to Slayer, Venkman, Czech, Kamala, and Cheech.   Worst Poster-Tie between Marvin and the now banned Deon. Honerable mention goes to Marney, Superjerk, Chazz, Matt Young, Canadian Dragon, Taiga, cabbageboy, DarKnight, JPopStarKatsumi, kanerulesfan, Enigma, and Brody.   Best Thread-I Banned Choken One. Sure, Hawk 34 didn't deserve to be banned, but it lead to an excellent meltdown from Matt Young. Honerable mention goes to the Metal thread, where I was introduced to the likes of Paradise Lost, and talked about metal woth others. Nice to see other fans of Death.   Worst Thread-Campaign 2008. Oh yeah, I started it, but I had no idea it would lead to this: Marney's return (complete with racism and xenophobia), Marvin becoming even more annoying (yes, it was possible), Superjerk's not so well hidden issues with women and "Obama will fix everything" attitude, the liberal echo chamber growing louder, NoCalMike being an idiot-the list goes on. Honerable mention goes to this, where Marney got banned after she practically asked to be, and more happened, and the Guns n' Roses thread, which featured an ever annoying Jaxl and UYI. Hey Jaxl: 1.) Nobody but you and UYI gives a shit about Axl Rose, and 2.) Go back to telling stories about your life.   Not as Bad-EHME and The Truthiness, who don't annoy me that much these days.   Still Sucks-Marvin, who brought his act to new lows this year. Superjerk meanwhile, sucked up to Obama far too much, making me embarressed to like Obama. Chazz contines to be Chazz, Deon was finally banned, thank God, Enigma is still a mouthbreather, and Brody, who other than being a deviant, also pointlessly bumped threads (much like Deon and VanHalen, yet he doesn't get shit over it), posts unfunny pictues, and generally is not a good poster. Why people like him other than his off board antics is beyond me.   Favorite Post I Made (aka self fellatio)-Saying Taiga looks like Penn Jillette as a Post Op Tranny.    
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

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