6:30 p.m.
• So a while back I talked about my fun trip to the airport. Might as well put the finishing touches to this epic adventure.
I was at the Albany airport for a flight to my buddy Ed Rendell’s former stomping ground: Philly. The flight itself wasn’t too bad. However, our “flight attendant” was this fat early twenty-something with greasy hair. Good God, Larry the Cable Guy was right: The Oakridge Boys with titties. Anyway, I didn’t really care because I just read my copy of U.S. Snooze and World Distort. Oh, and every time the flight attendant would go on that intercom thingy he’d be laughing. OK. Now the flight itself was rather uneventful. However, the landing… well…
It’s around 7:15 p.m. when we land. I have a connecting flight at 8:30. No problem. We head over to the dock/terminal/whatever that place is called where we all leave. The pilot tells us that another plane is already there. Uh, OK. I don’t fly enough to know if this is a common practice; I’m sure Smues will set me straight. We then drive over to another dock/terminal/whatever that place is called where we all leave. It’s now 7:40 and the pilot tells us that there’s a plane in front of us and it’s BROKEN DOWN. We now drive back to the first dock/terminal/whatever that place is called where we all leave and the original plane is still there. When we finally got out it was 8.
Well so much for checking out the Philly airport.
The chick sitting next to me on this flight was antsy as hell. Not only did she have to sit next to ME, but also she had a flight to Toronto departing at 8:30. While we each shared our tales of how this nearly hour-long delay might mess with our hopes of further air travel, I did something I normally don’t do. When it was time to leave, I immediately got up to leave. Whether it’s a sporting event, movie or some other social function, I generally just sit and let everybody else leave first. What’s the point of getting up just to wait in line. I’d rather just sit back and relax while everyone else elbows each other in hopes of exiting and being stuck in gridlock. Well not tonight. I got up and dug in my heels, especially when some dumbfuck in front of me went past me to get some overhead luggage and then tried to cut back in front of me. Not tonight.
After we were all herded into the Philly airport, I thought I was in pretty good shape. I had about 20 minutes to go from Gate B to Gate A; with those moving walkways it’s be a walk in the park.
Ten minutes later and NO SIGN OF GATE A I was beginning to doubt my confidence. Thankfully I saw signs of Gate A shortly thereafter and managed to get into my seat at 8:30 sharp. I was never in any real danger of missing my flight because the thing didn’t actually take off until 15-20 minutes later anyway thanks to all the dumbfucks with too-large-for-overhead luggage and other products of the under-class gumming up the works. However, the thought of spending the night in Fast Eddie’s crib downright scares me. I must say though that from what I saw the Philly airport was rather nice. And I’m not even going to make my predictable “But then again I didn’t see any black people” joke – probably because there were a bunch. Oh well. When I travel I always make sure my wallet is properly secured.
The flight to Shittsburgh wasn’t bad, but when I went to get my luggage the question on my mind while waiting on the Philly runway during my Albany jet joyride was answered. There wasn’t enough time to get the baggage from the Albany flight onto the Shittsburgh flight. My favorite part of this came when in the “lost baggage” section with the other poor sods who made the Albany-Shittsburgh connection. We actually developed somewhat of a camaraderie with each other – either that or they were too tired and frustrated to actively avoid me.
I wish I could end this story with some huge payoff, but my bags were delivered to my door the next afternoon. Alas, and I wanted to bitch even more. I just hope that chick who was sitting next to me over the Albany skies had her luggage boarded on time; Toronto is much farther from Philly than my hood.
8 p.m.
• So I talked about this show a while back, but tonight I actually got around to watching a few episodes. Oh. My. God.
But the best part was the eHarmony ads during the commercial break of a program which featured a bride with dentures and a groom who spells his beloved's name while peeing on the street.
• I found this in the "odd" story section, but I don't find it strange at all. In fact, I think it's a good idea.
I remember seeing a TV show that talked about this girl raising funds for the local police dogs to wear bullet-proof vests. Hey, these animals are many times the first to run into a skirmish so they should get protection. And if you think I'm being an animal-rights wacko, remember all the money spent training these K-9 cops and that some simple protection could mean the difference between several more years on the job and a quick trip to the big doghouse in the sky. Besides, many police dogs contribute more to society than the trash they're often urged to take down.
7:30 p.m.
• I don't know how Smues can do it -- I'm already sick of the snow and it hasn't really been all that bad a season (so far).
• Bad break for the Rockets. I've always liked Yao and T-Mac -- even though neither can get out of the first round of the playoffs.
• I have no clue who any of these people are, but Mark Madden said on his radio show today that he didn't like the trades. He follows this stuff much more than I do. All I have to say is that it feels weird for a Pittsburgh team to be active at the trade deadline trying to get talent for the here and now rather than dumping payroll and snagging "prospects."
• Now I really don't care for the Black Crowes, but shouldn't you at least listen to a band's entire album before giving a review?
I remember years ago a local film critic panned Halloween H2O but gave an inaccurate body count because he showed up to the film late. SPOILERZ~! Myers offed a couple kids in the early minutes and the critic made some remark about how so few people died and counted two less dead than there actually was (or whatever the miscount turned out to be). SPOILERZ~! That's all I got for this.
8:30 a.m.
• So this article got my interest today in the Shittsburgh Post-Gazette (I picked up the publication’s “early edition” yesterday while filling up the car on the way home from an extra day at work – yes, I’m doing the “work on Saturday” thing again. And I didn’t get this liberal rag because this article was the top-of-fold cover story. I got it because it had $98 worth of coupons.)
Here’s the headline: Rising costs, frugal customers pinch restaurants at both ends
Basically, it’s talking about how it’s HARDER THAN EVER for restaurants to attract customers due to the TERRIBLE ECONOMY. Here were my favorite parts.
OK, I love how vendors are now adding “fuel surcharges.” Just increase your total bill. Will there be a “wheat surcharge” or “dairy surcharge” at pizza shops when vendors increase their prices due to rising costs for these products? No. Then why fuel? Because we can blame BIG OIL and their OBSCENE PROFITS. I’m not saying increased fuel prices don’t hurt a business. One of my biggest fears about increasing gas prices isn’t the extra few dollars I have to pay to put fuel in my car – it’s how increases the price of everything. However, taking this one extra cost of doing business, singling it out and itemizing it is lame.
Here was another golden nugget.
But… but… I thought raising the minimum wage wouldn’t affect anybody or anything. I thought all those “you raise the minimum wage and the people who need these entry-level jobs the most won’t get them” chicken littles were practicing right-wing fear-mongering tactics. Maybe Kings restaurant donated to Bush in the ’04 election. Yeah, that’s it.
And despite all of these obstacles and doom-and-gloom, restaurants still experienced sales growth, albeit at a reduced rate.
4 p.m.
• Yeah, "creative solutions." Read: Rate hike.
• Well, at least the Post Office has this windfall to rely on.
I got my letter yesterday. What's really funny is that people who get this letter and don't read it will then bitch about something or other related to this program in May. And Schmuck Jewmer, what would you like to have on the letter: every name of every Democrat in Congress? For the record, this sort of bitching went on back in '01 when W. got those rebate checks mailed. Personally, I don't think these letters should be mailed. There should be some civic-related requirement, meaning if you don't pay attention to the news and don't know about this give-away then you deserve what you get -- or don't get.
10:45 p.m.
• So I was feeling a bit down today. I’m not depressed, but the last few days I haven’t been getting much sleep and I’ve been feeling it. So where do I go when I need a quick pick-me-up by observing the underclass in all their glory?
That’s right.
Now there’s this one Wal-Mart that opened up a year or so ago about 15 minutes from me. However, it hasn’t quite been overrun with the typical white and ghetto trash that flock to this cornucopia of commerce. Now the Wal-Mart that’s closer to Shittsburgh and attracts a lot of black people? That’s another story.
I was walking around the store and was on my way out when I noticed this kid – couldn’t be older than 10 or so – in tears and near a full-blown breakdown. Nothing surprising there. This is Wal-Mart. However, I then soon realized that the man in this group was an employee (the lack of a blue vest threw me off) and it seemed that the talk was focused on something that this kid tried to steal.
Uh oh.
The woman in this group was PISSED. I’m not sure if this was the kid’s mother – she could have been a babysitter or counselor – but one thing was for certain: this kid was about to have a really bad day. All I could gather from the passing words I heard was that the woman wanted this kid, dressed in a Silver Surfer t-shirt and blue sweatpants, to get punished to the fullest extent of the law. Oddly enough, the employee just took the item back and that was that. Interesting. Believe me, this woman was not trying to get this kid out of trouble. As they were walking out of the store I followed close behind hoping this woman would unload on this low-grade thief. Sadly, nothing transpired. But you know the most amazing thing of all.
This woman had three children with her – and the lone white kid was the one busted for shoplifting. Then again, I’m sure the two black kids are more seasoned at this sort of thing.
11:30 p.m.
• Oh please Democrats keep this primary fight going. It's funny enough there's talk about disenfranchising voters in Michigan and Florida, but then we get this.
Man, if this is what Osama's Democrat critics are getting hit with, imagine what will become of Republicans when they start questioning the Junior senator from Illinois.
10:30 a.m.
• So it looks like courtneywasmurdered is taking his act on the road. (The video clip can be found via the link.)
Well, if it keeps the kids off the streets and out of trouble, then what's the problem? Besides, I'm sure this is all on the up and up.
• There is some sanity -- in Philadelphia of all places.
This isn't like the "White/Coloreds Only" signs that were plasted in this country a generation or two ago. And, if this article is correct, with the ever-increasing immigrant population sprouting up around this business, if the masses are offended they can go to the other cheesesteak place and drive Geno's Steaks out of business.
9 p.m.
• So this past weekend I had to get my driver’s license renewed. Actually, I forgot all about this until I went to rent a car for my recent business trip. The rent-a-car guy took one look at my license and noted that I had a few days before it expired. Oops. This of course meant it was time to go to the DMV. Woo-hoo.
As I entered this public works cornucopia there was the “take ticket here and wait for your number to be called machine.” I was number 56. They were serving some number in the low 40s. The time was 10:14 a.m. and the ticket stated that there would be “an estimated 14 minute wait.”
…
At 10:50 a.m. my number was finally called. And the only way I was able to get served so “early” was because a half dozen people didn’t respond when their numbers were up. I think what burns me up the most in these situations is that while it takes other people 20 minutes to perform such feats as check into a hotel, pay for groceries or order stamps at the post office, when I get up to the counter my transaction lasts about 30 seconds. And of course this time was no exception.
An estimated 14-minute wait turned out to be 45 minutes. I sure can’t wait until we get government health care – you think the lines are long now at the doctor’s office. You ain’t seen nothing yet.
Before I leave this entry, I also have to relay the story of the two people sitting behind me who didn’t realize there was a “take ticket here and wait for your number to be called machine.” They sat behind us for a good 20 minutes before realizing that the names being called out were for people who already had their photos taken and were being called up to receive their ID. The fact these people are allowed to vote sometimes scare the hell out of me.
8:30 p.m.
• For those that frequent the other place. What that hell happened when I was away?
• So Barack Osama said something "clingy" about certain people...
So now Hitlery has pounced on this, and who suffers the most? Me. Because I have to watch shit like this every time my TV is turned on.
What's the difference between Hitlery and Osama on this issue? Osama was dumb enough to say it and have others hear him, even in friendly confines.
• From Smues' neck of the woods. Ever hear of these people?
9 p.m.
• You know, I generally side with so-called smokers' rights. However, I don't blame people for wanting smoking banned at beaches.
The few times I've been to the beach it was disgusting how many cigarette butts were all over the place.
• Man, who did the Rooneys piss off to get a schedule like this?
9 p.m.
• So today was primary day for the Keystone State. For a registered Republican there wasn't much to do other than nominate a bunch of people running unopposed in local elections. I was thinking of casting a write-in vote for president, or even throwing Ron Paul a bone for kicks, but then I saw that Mike Hickabee is still in the race. McCain for me and Mrs. kkk.
Sadly there weren't any stories to report. No fights with Democrats at the polling place. No nothing. Oh well.
• I think I'm going to side with the docs on this one.
Doctors are busy run late enough as it is -- I don't want to imagine them typing away at some medical issue to a patient. Besides, I'm sure whatever a doctor puts into writing would be red meat for a trial lawyer should something go wrong with said patient.
• Memoirs? How old is she again?
You know, I hate to admit it, but I actually watched part of an episode of "Hannah Montana" while in Buffalo. It wasn't as bad as I thought. The one niece-in-law is a fan of the show, so for the last few years all we have bought for her for holidays and birthdays has been this Montana shit. I can't wait until this phase is over and all that money is wasted.
7 p.m.
• Well today was a bit of a shocker. We found out that Mrs. kkk got laid off. Actually, she’ll be out of work August 31. Why? According to her idiot boss, because the boss doesn’t like working in the academic world and will use her grant money to pay her salary and not the better half’s. All I have to say is that for as fucked up as my former place of employment has been since my departure, this has the makings of a classic. Why? Because without the better half there, her soon-to-be ex-boss will have to do the vast majority of work.
The same person that comes in at 11 a.m. and leaves at 2 p.m. yet bitches about being “overworked.”
The same person that once put salad dressing on a salad the night before some social function and wondered why the salad was ruined the next morning.
The same person who poured sugar instead of parmesan cheese over her pasta during dinner.
The same person who (just a few weeks ago) saw an expense sheet and didn’t know what “balance” meant.
The same person who never locks the petty cash drawer and had checks stolen that racked up thousands of dollars in theft.
The same person that fights with every department and vendor there is, even though she is wrong 99 percent of the time.
The same person.
Oh this has the makings to be a classic. Did I mention this chick has a Ph.D.? No? Well, I'm sure you figured that out by the "expense sheet" line.
As for Mrs. kkk – she’ll get another job, hopefully within the university system. The only adjustment will be that we would carpool a bit later in the morning and afternoon. The busier traffic will be a downer, but it’s nothing major – most the time I leave late from my job anyway because I get a lot of last-minute calls/etc. The odd thing is even if I was to lose this job I really wouldn’t care. If my current employer’s funding gets discontinued and I have to start looking at the classifieds again, I would actually be comfortable with doing so. I don’t hate where I work, but rather the time I spent here has shown me that not EVERY workplace situation has to be a dysfunctional affair.
8:30 p.m.
• I wonder what it would be like to be the target of a GLOBAL man-hunt?
That's when you know you done fucked up. Then again, I'm sure I could sleep at night knowing the Frenchies are after me.
• Idiot.
It's not like the poor gas station owner is reaping the profits. You know, what the hell is going to happen when there's a real fuel shortage or when rationing is forced upon us? Maybe having a Democrat in office, along with a Democrat congress, won't be so bad. After all, Medium-Large Media would then tell us what a bargain $4/gallon gas really is.
• I've been meaning to talk about this gem of a story for a few days now. Here's the latest.
God bless the K-9 unit. Too bad the dog did more for society than that two-bit piece of shit who shot it. The sad thing about all this? When I first heard this story on the drive in to work earlier this week, I joked to the better half that the cops shot the dog on purpose so they could then kill another young black man. Why am I not surprised by what happened next?
And here's the real payoff...
Do I even need to answer this one? Here's some more about the framed innocent.
God, Democrats must be glad to have these peons in their back pocket, even if a sliver of them bother to vote. And thank Christ for that.
11:59 p.m.
• As an avid rap listener back in the 1980s and '90s, I remember hearing a number of edited songs on the radio and on albums. While many of these "kid friendly" versions were awful with the non-thug words and gaping pauses, one of my favorite edits came in one of my favorites songs of the early 1990s…
…and my jimmy runs deep … so deep … so deep put her BUTT to sleep...
Speaking of this time, I was listening to Comcast’s Old School Rap music channel. It’s not a permanent channel, but it pops up often enough. However, today they played “Nothing but a G Thing” and “Rump Shaker.” Old School? Fuck. Old school is Doug E. Fresh and the Treacherous Three. Oh well, I’m sure someone in his 40s would disagree with that. C’est la vie.
• From my 5/7 post:
Actually, the better half used to not be a vengeful bitch. That is until meeting me. Now she is almost as bad as me, although she still has way more tact than me. However, in this instance, I have to say she won’t need to torpedo the operation because her boss will have no trouble doing that shortly after she leaves. We’re still trying to figure out the best way to exit. Because we don’t have a crystal ball, she’s looking now for a new job. However, if we knew that she would be gainfully employed September 1 at a new workplace, I would want her to stay until her final day of work on August 31. This way she can suck up as much money from this grant as possible and make her boss feel more uncomfortable than she already feels. Then again, the sooner she leaves, the greater the train wreck will be. Oddly enough, when I knew my time at my former place of employment was going to be limited, I actually worked harder. The reason? Whenever I would leave, the quality of work I did would be magnified, and believe me I was right. Not only is the work downright embarrassing, but also it’s taking FOUR people (not including the person who replaced me) to do what I did by myself. And the work is also getting out almost a month later than it should be. Sometimes it’s best to not do a thing to torpedo your ex-employers; many of them can do that without your assistance.
• Speaking of SFAJack and his possible 15 minutes of fame, back when the Clinton/Lewinsky was unearthed I was part of one of those “man on the street” interviews. I was headed to my job at the theater and I noticed this reporter and photographer trying to get people to give their opinion of the story. I figured I’d help them out – besides, my one journalism class had a project where I needed to interview a reporter so I figured I’d do a quid pro quo. I gave him a nice quote and he gave me an easy way to accomplish an annoying class project a few weeks later. My quote? It went something like, “It’s too early to say anything one way or the other, but I think he should resign for other reasons.”
9:30 p.m.
• You know, it's not the actual story that caught my eye.
A 4-3 opinion over a hot-button topic whose final decision favors the liberal side of the debate. Odd how there's no mention of a "splintered" or "divided" court decision, although we learn that this court is REPUBLICAN-DOMINATED (whatever the hell that means in California).
Yet a while back I posted this story, also published by the Associated Press...
Wait a second, I was about to do a "how come one case is divided and the other case is splintered," but then I decided to actually, you know, LOOK UP the word in question.
Fudgesicles. Damn you liberal media.
10 p.m.
• So earlier this week I was at Target picking up the better half’s birth control pills when the lady in front of me asked around as to when the new Indiana Jones movie is coming out. Since nobody else knew, I decided to end the awkward silence by saying “May 22.” She then got as giddy as this chick at the grocery store…
…but I digress.
After she picked up her prescription and paid for that and her Indiana Jones DVD set, I shook my head, which prompted the one pharmacist to ask, “What’s wrong?” The following conversation took place. You’ll figure out who is who.
“No self-respecting Indiana Jones fan will look forward to this.”
“Why? I heard it was going to be good.”
“No, it won’t.”
“I have some friends who are in film school and they said the special effects and action will be great.”
“No, it won’t.”
“Why do you think that?”
“They should have stopped with ‘The Last Crusade.’”
“Why?”
“Because it was the perfect ending. Indiana riding off with his father, Sallah and Brody into the sunset. Connery won’t be in this one. Neither will Sallah. And Brody’s dead. Everything in that last scene in ‘The Last Crusade’ has just been wiped away.”
“So you’re not going to see it in the theater.”
“No, but I’ll probably get it on DVD.”
“Why?”
“Because, whether I like it or not, it’s INDIANA JONES.”
*Sigh* I feel the same way about the Star Wars prequels.
Wow, I point out my inability to understand the English language and show how much of a sucker I am with movie franchises just as old as me – all in one entry. I need to inject myself with some manliness. That last line isn’t helping my case much, either...
PUNKS JUMP UP TO GET BEAT DOWN (without using naughty words)
PUNKS JUMP UP TO GET BEAT DOWN (thug lyricz)
You know, for a song that has the line:
I find it funny that the following is also included in this track…
…
Wait a second:
Uhhh, that’s not the correct line, Lyrics Freak.
What the hell?
Lyrics Depot
MP3 Lyrics
STL Lyrics
E Lyrics,
Complete Album Lyrics
Lyrics on Demand
Lyrics Time
Thank you Metro Lyrics. Finally, someone gets the line right.
No, I'm not repeating an entry I made last year. In that post I was remarking on the "Give strong blows to the heads of my foes," line, not the "dick in ya ass" line. With this entry, I'm also pointing out that I may not know what "splintered" means, but I can remember a song's line about anal sex from 16 years ago.
...
God what the hell is wrong with me?
Hmm, interesting take on the YouTube comment section:
That's actually a valid point. Maybe Sadat was a late bloomer.
7 p.m.
• So I was at work Tuesday when I heard a rustle up against a tree near my office. I had the window open, so the noise was loud enough force a turnaround and looksee. Turns out it was a groundhog. In the tree. As I watched him trying to stay on the branches, he got freaked out by my observing and ran back down to the ground. What was the reason? There was a cat eyeing him up. The groundhog then bolted across the street with the cat in pursuit. The funniest thing about all this? The groundhog was at least TWICE the size of the cat and could probably crush the kitty without a second thought. Oh well. Attitude plays more of a factor in intimidation than one would think.
• While unloading groceries yesterday I had ESPN on as background noise. And what did they have on? A THREE-HOUR special about the Lakers v Celtics. Good God. The games don't even last that long. Is this the basketball version of Yankees/Red Sox?
8 a.m.
• So here are some updates to my super-wonder family.
A while back the out-of-control niece-in-law got knocked up. While she’s “seeing” someone this has all the makings of “Who’s the baby’s daddy” episodes you see on Maury Povich’s show. Now the niece is taking a page out of her crack mother’s book and applying for HUD, food stamps, etc. And this is why whenever I hear a Democrat or some “social activist” bitch about how we aren’t spending enough on the poor I want to take a brick to the side of their skull. But why am I talking about this particular welfare leech? Well earlier this week the better half told me she was going to start working Saturdays at a local pizza place she’s worked off-and-on for the past 16 years. Why was she going back one day a week?
Was it because she wanted us to put away even more money away due to the BUSH ECONOMY? No.
Did she want to pay off her student loans quicker? Not quite.
Could she be trying to save up for a big-screen television for her favorite husband? Don’t think so.
What was the reason? Mrs. kkk, along with her mother, were going to spring for a BABY SHOWER for the niece. Her reasoning: “Well you wouldn’t want to spend any money for this.” My reply: “You’re right.”
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Sorry, that was me banging my head on the keyboard. Actually, I don’t care what the better half does with her time. I told her my opinion of the whole situation and that was that. Oh, here was another reason she gave: “I want to give the kid a chance.” So buying a stroller and box of diapers will be that edge which will give this spawn the chance he/she needs? Good God. I then said to Mrs. kkk that the niece-in-law will now be coming back to her every time she wants something. After all, this is the really cool aunt that sprang for my baby shower. Just five years ago when the niece was 15 she went to live with the better half’s mother because the niece’s mother was/is a crack-whore. What did the niece do during this time? Not a goddamn thing except bitch about having to live in such a draconian house with rules like “no staying out after 2 a.m.” After three hours of saying how she couldn’t wait until she turned 18 and was “free,” she proceeded to stay at this same death camp and drunk/inject/screw her life away.
Now instead of completely disconnecting from this cancer, Mrs. kkk is about to open up an avenue where the stupidity of her niece’s future life decisions will also take an emotional toll on the better half. I told the her months ago when we learned of this impregnation that I want nothing to do with this branch of the family tree, and I guess it’s a good thing that she didn’t try to guilt me into spending money we already have on this baby shower.
Oh, but this isn’t the only white-trash loser I have an update on.
Remember my favorite welfare brood? Well it turns out the matriarch is knocked up again. Now you may think, “Well poor people always have kids – they can’t afford to go anywhere so all they can do is stay home and breed.” This isn’t one of those cases. The husband, who’s at least 20 years older than the wife, is sterile after having a half-dozen or so kids from previous relationships. (I think that is God’s way of saying “you reeled in your limit.”) But that’s not stopping the wife from reproducing. She BUYS SPERM and has it SHIPPED TO HER HOUSE. The then TAKES AN EYEDROPPER and KNOCKS HERSELF UP. (Previously I thought she went to a clinic. I didn't know she did it herself at home. Then again, that explains why her second kid's head is shaped like a Hershey's kiss, still cannot talk after several years and just started taking Ritalin.) Well now she’s got Bun Number Three in the oven. Have I mentioned lately how much I loathe these people? You don’t understand, I have a burning hatred for this clan.
Here are some “highlights” from blog entries past:
December 27, 2006: The family newsletter, where we learn that the husband will be soon working FULL-TIME as a janitor.
January 4, 2007: Those damn bill collectors.
April 18, 2007: Damn housing market getting ruined by the BUSH ECONOMY.
July 7, 2007: Because it deserves repeating.
July 31: 2007: We liked the visit to your neighborhood so much we want to live there. Besides, your school is better and we didn't realize that if we are going to send our kids to government school that maybe we should have looked at what district our current house resides at.
September 17, 2007: Rose-petal bubble bath -- the perfect gift for dad on his 57th birthday.
I almost forgot. The crack-whore sister-in-law (mother to the niece-in-law mentioned above) just had all her Rent-A-Center merchandise taken out of her trailer. I think she's getting the boot from said trailer park, too. The funny thing is that she collects disability but yet has just about all her utilities/phone shut off. So even when you give these welfare bums MONEY for BILLS they still can't manage their lives. But yet we still don't spend enough money on our disadvantaged.
5 p.m.
• So I've had the Euro game between the Netherlands and commies and I was about to make some smart-ass remark about the cameramen only showing crowd shots of attractive Dutch women. Then they showed several shots of shirtless Russian males. Uh, guys. I wasn't saying NOT to show the women of Holland.
11:45 p.m.
• So this gets a little chuckle out of me whenever I see it. All across America the po-lice are CRACKING DOWN on drivers not wearing their seat belts. Oh Noz~! Anyway, these stupid click it or ticket billboards have sprung up in my neck of the woods. If you don’t have one around where you live, here’s how they look.
Now the difference in this billboard from the ones in Pennsylvania is that instead of that “click it’ logo on the lower right we have some hippie state symbol and our logo. What is my commonwealth’s logo titled? “State of Independence.” Yeah, we got a mean independent streak. As long as we wear our seat belts…
…and not drive more than two miles in the left lane.
…and remove all the snow from our vehicle before driving.
…and buy your booze from a state-controlled liquor store.
Other than that, and the million other nitpicky laws on the books, we’re free to do as we please. Now I need to move the better half away from my half of the fridge we are sleeping on top of. Damn you Bush economy.
• Gee, I wonder who will be paying for air time on MTV? I bet it's McCain trying to appeal to the young'ins.
Wow, Barack Osama really is that dumb. I'm sure this network would have slobbed his knob through November for free.
8 p.m.
• Nothing all that exciting to report. The alleged baby's daddy of my out-of-control niece-in-law is probably going to get kicked out of his house. Damn Bush economy. I bet W. made him rack up those credit card bills, too.
• Go away, Brett Favre.
I haven't followed this story all that much, but there comes a time when a team has to look out for its future. These off-season "Will I or won't I return?" games have to eventually stop. And why the hell would the Packers let him go to a divisional opponent?
• Speaking of football, kkk Bowl VI will be announced sometime during the NFL preseason. I was seriously thinking of not holding this contest anymore, especially since I probably wouldn't have been able to update the standings each week. Thankfully, I'll be getting some help from the mods (or at least that's what I'm being told).
• Last week in the USA Weekend special insert found in many Sunday newspapers, there was an interesting story about why cats don't get treated better than dogs despite more people owning felines than canines.
Now I'm sure I don't need to bring up my affection for kitties, but I have no problem with dogs being higher up on the social ladder than cats. One reason cats are more often abandoned is that, like the author said, more people have cats than dogs. And because dogs are more in tune to a "pack" mentality, they would often be more devoted to their owners than cats. And regarding vet care, dogs should get better treatment. You don't see a K-9 kitty lunging after a robbery suspect. You don't see cats herding livestock. All a cat is really good for is killing rodents.
But in case you are thinking I have lost my kitty-loving ways, here's some more pics of the family.
6 p.m.
• Wow, Fast Eddie talking about media bias? That's funny.
Don't worry, after Osama does his thing this week you'll be back on the "what media bias?" bandwagon.
• I'm sure there's a blogger WHOSE NAME WILL NOT BE UTTERED UNTIL THE END OF TIME that probably already scouted this kid inside and out.
"Frighteneing"? Oh well, I'm the last person to goof on another person's speling, but damnit someone got paid not to run a spell-check. I'm doing this blog for free.
Not sure how relevant this is to the above story, but as a kid I was in this bowling league. We didn’t use regular balls but rather this was a duckpin bowling league. What does that mean? The balls were smaller and there is no pinacton. Anyway, there was this kid was excellent but I hated the fuck. His dad was one of the bigwigs of the league, but his kid’s team never won a league championship in the several years I was there. This kid was so good he was always a team’s captain; each team had a really good bowler, a pretty good bowler and a few scrubs (like me). Well, this one year this kid was magically placed on a team with two other boys that had been team captains in previous years. Strangely enough, after a month or two this team amassed something like a 14-1 record. Here’s a coincidence: this kid’s dad put the teams together. What did I do about it? I took my ball and went home. Do I regret it? Shit, I forgot about this experience until reading the above article.
• Huh?
Too fat? Oh this should be a good one.
Then fry him. Of course, then the poor cops zapping this porker will be smelling bacon...
Oh Christ, the I-was-abused excuse. Sadly, below is the part of the article that pisses me off the most.
Oh boo-fucking-hoo.
Wow. That must have been one strong homemade ladder to hold that fattie up. Guess those magazines were phonebooks or something.
8:30 a.m.
• Public service announcement. If you posted at the Other Place and wondered why you can't access the site, wonder no more. It died (again). For those keeping score at home, Frigid Soul had nothing to do with this one.
Here's the new address.
9 a.m.
• Fuck blaming the cats for this fire.
You don't light candles and leave in a house with pets. The closest the kkk household has come to this sort of thing was when Dessa, as a kitten, knocked over a glass of water the better half had on the night stand. When she went to get the glass she got shocked by a power outlet. Then there was the time that Dessa, still a kitten, knocked out my plugged-in clock radio the night before my first day of work at a job. That's when I learned to invest in a battery-powered clock. Of course, years later I was late for work one day when the battery died. That's when we started regulating the kids' feedings. Now no matter what if Dessa, JJ and Max aren't fed by 5:30 a.m. one of us will be woken up. If getting into Mrs. kkk's face loudly meowing doesn't do the trick then the better half hitting me and saying, "go feed your cats" will.
8:30 p.m.
• Here's something really sad to learn about me. When I first heard this song, I thought for quite some time that Compton was in Michigan. (0:25)
Actually, that's not the half of it. I almost failed 8th grade. In order to pass that year I had to take two summer school classes at my school plus a mail-order class. But hey, at least I was able to beat Ghouls 'n Ghosts on the Sega Genesis that year.
• As much as I'm trying to keep this from being All-Palidin All-The-Time, this is getting silly.
• There is justice in this world. Long story short: The much-talked-about welfare brood with the two test-tube kids was trying to add a third beaker into the bunch. Sadly, the turkey basting didn't take and now the matriarch of this bunch called the better half last night for some solace. This is funny to me, considering when Mrs. kkk suffered a miscarriage, this welfare queen said, among other things, "Well you can have one of mine; they're driving me CrAzY~!"
But the "justice" isn't with a family that can't take care of themselves failing at adding another mouth to feed.
The justice is that during this conversation Mrs. kkk learned that the State is no longer paying for their kids' health care? Why is that? Because the toothless Mexican can get health insurance through his job as a janitor. OH NOES! Having to take PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY!
5:30 p.m.
• This entry is dedicated to SFAJack, who is dealing with a hurricane named Ike. Didn't George W. Bush get the memo that you voted for him? If so, I'm sure he would have steered this path of destruction toward a bluer part of the state.
You've commented on the subject of your "welcomed guests to Houston" before, so I thought you might like this.
6 p.m.
• To keep up with the "SFA Jack/Texas/Underclass" theme, here's a blast from the past from Mr. Jack's state that I'm sure makes him proud.
Don't forget the remix/radio version/whatever the hell this is supposed to be. I'm still trying to figure out why this song is called "Bald Head Gals" when the chorus contains the more explicit word. Oh well, at least the part with the horse got a chuckle out of me.
Finally, to complete today's Willie Dee trifecta, this one (0:30) goes out to Whoppi Goldberg, who, if McCain gets elected, will be first to go up on the slave auctioning block.
You know, I remember back in '04 Cameron Diaz said that if you think rape should be legal then don't vote. Slaves, rape: when is all of the good stuff really going to happen? Keep your tax cuts, just let me stick my weiner in Diaz's mouth. No, I don't want a blow job; I'm just tired of hearing her voice.
6:15 p.m.
• OK, this is why I love rap. If you listened to the third song in the Willie Dee collection above you would have noticed there was a female saying she had a pussy the size of Bolivia. Well, Willie Dee's "Controversy" album was released in 1989. Just three years later, Willie D (guess the "ee" fared poorly in the focus groups), released the following...
And WTF?
The high price is more than $100.
Oh, and here is the song that Choice did which caused Mr. D's scorn.
If Mrs. kkk would surprise me on December 25 with one of your yuppie cars parked on our driveway with a red bow on top of the roof, I'd still rank my Atari 2600 way higher on my list of favorite holiday gifts than your overpriced junk.
I can't remember when I got my first Big Wheel, but I'd put that above getting one of your cars.
11 p.m.
• So my local liberal rag ran an editorial earlier this month that I just stumbled across. There's a local RIGHT-WING RADIO station that is doing a re-shuffling of its lineup. Oh Noes, the left-wing editorial board doesn't approve.
I find it hilarious that the Shittsburgh Post-Gazette would comment about one-sidedness when their editorials are nothing more than a stream of never-ending hippie crap, but whatever. Basically, KDKA dumped a few hosts, brought back a long-time host and kept the station's best talker. Take it from me: Mike Pintek, Fred Honsberger and Marty Griffin is NOT an "overwhelmingly conservative" slant. Marty's a tool; I heard he's liberal but that's not why I don't listen to him -- he's an "investigative reporter" for a local television station and annoying as hell with his EVERYTHING is an OUTRAGE blather. I would put money on Pintek voting more Republican than Democrat, but he did say that, much to his regret, he voted for Fast Eddie in the 2002 governor's election. Fred has been a mainstay at KDKA for years and is a great talk-show guy.
Here's the bottom line, and the Post-Gazette even admits this:
That's why KDKA brought back Pintek, and that's why Honsberger still has a job at KDKA. It's business, you dipshits.
What in the hell has that got to do with talk-radio programming? If we're going to go by this logic, how come the Shittsburgh Post-Gazette, along with the legions of other liberal media outlets, suddenly didn't turn conservative from 1994 through 2006 to "reflect the national political mood"? Having read the Post-Gazette from 1994-2000 and then again from 2003-2008 I can say matter-of-factly that its left-wing drivel remained the same, if not cranked up a few notches here and there.
If there's one industry I want to turn to so I can learn how to make my business successful, it's the newspaper biz. Yessire. Nothing but black on those bottom lines.
9:30 a.m.
• For God's sake, ESPN, can we please stop making references to the TOUGH TIMES WE LIVE IN? During yesterday's bowel games each contest had several references, and within a 5-minute span "Outside the Lines" and "Sports Reporters" also made comments. Good God. Can we move up President Hussein's Inauguration so we can all say we are living in a gilded age?
9:45 a.m.
• Here's another one:
"What recessionlol... blahblahblah... does Baseball need a salary cap?"
Come on, Osama, make all this go away.
LOL -- one of the pinheads on the panel just said now with these free agent signings the Yankees will be the top story of this upcoming baseball year. The Yankees are ALWAYS the top story each year, no matter what they do. And the one panelist said salary cap opponents are disillusioned?
Oh, no, in the next segment they are going to talk about the year that was 2008. Let's see if we more President Hussein or RECESSION~! references.
LOLx2 -- some panelist said Michael Phelps was celebrating when that one guy won the relay race for Team USA, Phelps was celebrating because now that guy made him "immortal" and got him all the post-Olympic deals. I'm sure Phelps was thinking, "YAY, now I get to host Saturday Night Live."
Wow, no references. Color me impressed.
Remember a while back you asked which ESPN nimrod I was talking about regarding this past entry?
Saw him again this morning and got the name: Michael Hill.
Do you really care where the maple syrup comes from? That is unless you want to find out how to have it mask the general stench of your city even more than it already does.
7:30 p.m.
• President Hussein doesn't care about Kentucky-ians.
By the way, how come our president hasn't done more for the fine citizens of the Midwest? Oh, that's right. Because there aren't any welfare recipients standing around going "now who's going to pay my bills?" Then again, why would they -- it's f'n COLD outside.
