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Winter's Freeze

It was just past one but there was an ominous breeze filtering through the white skies on Tuesday. I sat in class and every single pair of eyes looked away watching the snow start to pick up. We knew it was coming but the anticipation was building, a buzz of whispers shooting through the air with the keypad blips of txt messaging and the gentle tapping on lap tops. All focus on class had expired once the snow finally collapsed down from the tight grips of the clouds and slammed onto the waiting campus. Numbers had been thrown out but the crude measurement with a tape measure out in the parking lot as I dodged cars and a stampede of paranoia read the story. 5 ¾ inches. It was just starting, it would reach higher later that night but combine with the below freezing temperatures and icy conditions foretold a scary adventure. It wasn’t the amount of snow that was the concern; it was the icy conditions and horrible road conditions.   I had to make a decision that morning. I knew all too well that these weather conditions were coming. Two weeks ago, I finally put up that old pick up truck that I drove since my accident two months ago and brought (against my initial intentions) a 2004 Dodge Ram 1500 Hemi (a fucking machine) but instead of driving it that day, I knew my mother would be working downtown into the middle of the afternoon. Instead of letting her drive her old car that has seen better days, I gave her the keys to my brand new truck. Aren’t I a great son?   I finally found my way out through the shuffle of the parking lot. 5,500 students converging onto a one lane road all driving no faster then 15 MPH. It took approximately 35 minutes to travel 2 miles. A slightly longer wait and I made it through the town and reached the express way. The problem with this expressway was simply that it was basically a curvy hill and of course, the road crews hadn’t bothered to get to this specific area. It was coming down strong. Windshield wipers froze almost instantly. The skies fell darker in the early afternoon and the only option was instinct. A 2 lane expressway had become a 5 wide slip and slide Daytona 500 mess. No order can possibly function at these times. The urge of survival kicks in and everyone seeks their own grooves, that secret spot on the road that leads to freedom but instead just arrive to constant frustration.   Soon enough it feels monotonous. You almost adapt to moving like a snail at 20 MPH watching snow hail over your window (snow surf). Of course, there were the jackasses who felt that going faster on ice and snow was the better alternative. The world would be less shitty if these fuck-wads expired. Cars struggled to climb up the hills and I watched them in front of me, a good deal of distance away rock back and forth.   I finally got off that expressway and I felt secure in the rest of my trip home. I still had classes at another school in Middletown, but Middletown is horrendous with road crews and no class is ever worth spending an extra 2-3 hours there then I already am. I finally got home. What was usually just 20 minutes took two hours. I was already dressed to stay home and take in the falling snow but I got that phone call that I should have known was coming. I looked down and saw Allison was calling and I knew instantly what it was for. The keys were in my hands by the time I said “Hello”.   She works downtown. Normally its 25 minutes away but I knew better. Not only did I buy myself a new truck but I also brought her a car since hers was a pain to keep fixing up and wasn’t worth the time nor price. It wasn’t anything special. Just a cheap but dependable Saturn that I brought off a guy my father knew. Instead of driving down there, she took the bus because she wanted to save gas money. Usually, I’d applaud that but not in this case. I was off to go “rescue” her. Luckily for me, my mother had just arrived as I was leaving. So I wasn’t forced to fight through that in that old car again. The roads should have improved with a couple hours passed but the road crew had very little effect on the conditions. Although I hated driving in these conditions, I took a slight piece of happiness in this. It was good, if only for confirmation to know that she isn’t completely independant. It’s a fantastic trait but there’s always a time you want to feel like they need you for more then just being a fuck toy.   I arrived at the hotel well after I left the house and the night had already fell but I could see her standing by a door and I was taken aback by the sight of her breaking into a wide smile and doing that thing she does with her tongue when she smiles like that. Took us just as long to get back to my house but the trip home was probably the most, well, fun time I ever had driving 10 MPH on a icy highway with a deluge of pissed off drivers wanting to get home in time to catch American Idol or whatever crappy CBS action show was on.   I’ve always said that winter was the best time of the year and I continue to insist on that. Some think that the heat of the summer, the calmness of fall and the bloom of spring is the best and that can be understood but winter’s freeze creates this complete alternate world where somehow you become warmer against the dark cold nights. The best times of my life were always during the winter months and I’ll always associate snow for happiness. Things just feel good right now and I can hardly believe that a couple entries ago, I was pissed and bitter about life. Yeah, I know these times aren’t always here to stay and that the snow will soon melt and spring will begin.   There’s a lot of resentment around this place. People are so angry and many don’t seem to be willing to change that. Certain people are more obvious then others. I’ve been there, hell just a few weeks ago I was feeling down but there really isn’t a reason to be negative. Sure, the world sucks. Nothing changes and we’re just waiting for death but maybe you should drive in the snow every once in awhile to remember it doesn’t always have to be shitty.

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

On 2006. Marvin. New Year's. Classic Game and Goals.

I was supposed to do a “2006: Year in Review” for wrestling and my personal life but I figured I covered most of it in the blog over the year and my thoughts on the year in wrestling doesn’t interest anyone enough and I made my opinion known in the TSM Awards anyways.   2006 was good, for all the feelings of uncertainty it started with, I came out okay. I did well at school, I held a pair of good paying jobs over the year and I even managed to have a couple good relationships. Surprising considering the turbulence that 2005 offered but I fulfilled a childhood crush and even though it was short lived, it was good while it lasted. Later that year, I met a really great girl. Quite possibly the “right one”. It’s early, just four months into it but I get a good feeling with this one, a different feeling then the past ashes of love. My sister got married and that was very good to see. My entire family has been well and really, that’s pretty important to know.   The one thing that truly hasn’t altered despite my good fortune this year was the tendency to slip into these periodic waves of depression, shyness or just plain boredom. Lacking focus and ambition. I figure it’s a common sentiment that many here share.   Last night, I rang in the new year at a small intimate party with some of Allison’s friends and while it wasn’t bad, I was just in one of those moods again and she wasn’t particularly happy about it. I took her home and I only slept a couple hours. I woke up about 5:30 and haven’t slept since.   I took in this day off by going to an early movie at the AMC to see The Pursuit Of Happyness. Maybe not the best movie to watch while in a depressed funk but it was alright. Although I wondered why I bothered to come to the movies at 10:30 in the morning, alone. It was virtually empty, aside from a pair of older couples there for the cheap ticket. Allison, is a desk clerk at a hotel and it’s a busy day for her. I didn’t bother to check in with her today and either did she.   I intended to spend this day by watching some movies I got over the holiday break but I didn’t manage that. I spent it primarily here, on AIM and other message boards with a swirl of empty nothingness around me. I watched college football games involving teams that I had no connection nor interest in. I watched another pointless and idiotic episode of Raw, asking “why do I bother?” knowing full well, I’ll be back next week.   The main event for tonight was the classic football game for the ages. Something I wasn’t expecting but for 1 hour and 30 minutes, I was sucked in. The finish was so improbable that I’m still questioning if it really happened, but it did. A series of plays that’ll go down in history as the most incredible and shocking ever kept myself and the nation on its toes. Oklahoma nabs the INT and scores the td and with three attempts, manage to tie the game. With just 50 seconds left, Boise State starts the miracle. Who saw it coming? No one. They pulled off the Hook and Ladder on a 4th and 18. This play has probably worked 20 times in the history of football but if you ask me, tonight might as well been the first time. A stunner. Then Oklahoma sticks a dagger in the heart with an instant TD run by Peterson. Left with nothing to hold onto but the faint hope slipping against disappointment and somehow, they pulled it off once again on a 4th down and instead of getting the easy yard they needed, they went for it and nabbed the TD. Gotta kick the FG. Get another OT. Fuck that. Boise State went for it with the biggest balls ever. On a statue of liberty, another improbable play, they nail the fucking 2pt and win and just to top it off, it ends with the Hollywood finish of a marriage proposal. The most incredulous finish ever. I’ll remember this one for years.   In the process of this event, in the thread about the game, Marvin struck again. Marvin, in the midst of something implausible found the ability to insert his typical brand of banality and ham-fisted arguments.   I get on Marvin a lot, as do many others here. Do I hate Marvin? No. He can be a good enough guy from time to time although those moments are fleeting by the moment as his fervent worship for Baltimore sports reaches new levels. You can’t fault him for that. That is how some people are wired. What gets me about Marvin is that I’m disappointed in him by his actions. This place, as fucked up as it really is, is somehow a family and Marvin is our nutcase bastard cousin. He could be something better. Hell, we all could but especially him. He claims he expected to be the next “WP” and it appears he has accomplished that and I find that ridiculous. Maybe 2007 can change for him. It did for me after-all, in 2006. I might hope the best for him but I’ll keep egging him on because he needs it.   I don’t necessarily believe in resolutions all that much but rather just believe in setting goals. There is a difference between dreams and goals. One is false hope and the other is effort. I’m not 17 anymore. Fate doesn’t exist. You gotta get what you want by getting it. Generic preachy philosophy but it’s accurate.   If I do have any “goals” for 2007, these would be it   1). Escape this depression. I have no reason to be downtrodden, I have more then I could ever hope for and yet, I risk losing it because of this fear or awkwardness.   2). I turn 21 in a few weeks. I always thought by this point in life, I’d have an idea of where I’m going but it’s not happening. I have to find out what I really want in life for myself. Is this it? I’m glad to be a skilled enough person as a mechanic or office worker, there’s always a demand for those types of roles in society but is it what I want? Then again, how many of us ever actually get the thing we want. How the hell do you get it when you can’t even identify it.   3). Get new hobbies. Currently and for the past many years, those hobbies have been wrestling, working on cars or message boarding. I used to read constantly but this was before sports took a hold of me and I stopped. I got over 1,000 books in my office (which is really just my sister’s old room where I store my old shit). I am a creative writing major and Im constantly urged by professors in the department to pursue that avenue deeper and I think about it but wonder if my heart would really be into enough to really make it work.   4). Get new friends. Allison’s friends are good people but they aren’t my friends. I had a group of friends that I once honestly believed would stick around for years but it’s all gone away. An AIM conversation is becoming a rarity now. I can be friendly but trusting people is another matter in itself.   2007 could be anything. Everything really is possible, even the impossible. Just ask Boise State.

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

WRECK

This morning, the morning of my final exams the SW Ohio area was blitzed with a shitload of (for me) unexpected snow and most importantly, thick sheets of ice. I caught on the radio as me and Allison (whom crashed during our finals cram session) were getting dressed that there were many reports of wrecks all throughout the area. I didn’t pay too much attention, this is what you get used to around these parts. Random weather acts, yesterday it was 68 degrees and sunny. This morning, it reached down to 12 degrees and that is where all hell broke loose. From my house to school, it’s 25 minutes with regular traffic. My first class was at 9:45. I figured traffic would be slower, so I left @ 8:30 instead. It was bad. Really bad, probably the worse I have ever seen the roads considering how little snow was really falling. I was cautious, more so then I usually would have been had Allison not been in the car with me. Allison, wanted to take the main route instead of the back road we’d usually take since it would be “safer” and it would be prophetic when I replied “That’s just more dangerous, really”.     Things were going fine, most people seemed to figure out that the roads were covered in sheets of ice. It took me 30 minutes to move 5 miles and I knew at this rate, we would be late. Allison called our professors and like many other people did, said we would be late for the exams due to the roads. (That’s Allison for you. More concerned about her schooling then I think she needs to be) Then it happened, it was inevitable and I knew it was going to happen. I saw it ahead of me and I knew I was fucked. It’s like in the movies and everything becomes slow motion and you think, life is never like that. It was. Cars moving at 10-15 MPH down main street, a jeep hopped the railroad track. This railroad track was always tricky during inclement weather. I saw the Jeep twist side ways and I counted the cars in front of me and the Jeep. Four Cars. Four Cars that were about to collide and I knew it, I had two options. Head first into the truck in front of me, swerve into an icy ditch and probably flip over or wait for the car behind me to hurl me into the other cars. In that slow motion moment, that was probably just five seconds in reality. That’s all it takes to cause the chain reaction, I grabbed Allison and I collided into that truck head first and the car behind me collided into us and sent us spinning around that railroad track into a curb embankment. 4 Cars were pinned. Metal, fiberglass, plastic left spilt onto the ice. I could see the damage to my car from where I was. The front end was completely smashed in, I knew my rear was dented as well. Allison was alright. My hand hurt. Then after that brief “what the hell just happened!?” moment of clarity sank in… Four drivers and a couple passengers stormed out their cars. Instant Blame Game. “YOU FUCKER!” “YOU HIT ME!” “WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?!” “IS EVERYONE OK?!” “LOOK AT THIS! FUCKING LOOK!” Then I saw a little kid, probably no more then 7 years old in the truck that I hit. I was worried for him, not my car. He was fine, shook up but fine. No one was injured on site except my hurt hand but I knew it wasn’t serious, so I never said anything. It was only a matter of seconds before the police, ambulances and paramedics came by. It had been quite a busy day for this community, 11 accidents had been reported since the ice fell in just a 5 mile radius. Ours being the most severe in size. We all managed to get our cars pushed over to a gas station. We all separated out and waited, as the air warmed up, watching the ice thaw out. In my mind, I wondered if I had spent an extra 5 minutes in the shower or if Allison had her usual pop tart, we wouldn’t have ended up in the mess. I didn’t mind the wreck, that’s life. It happens. I’m glad it was an accident and not because of faulty driving. It was out of my control. We took our statements and did the song and dance. Of the cars, I took the most damage. Figures, I had often said I wanted to get rid of that car because I hated driving it in the winter and this was exactly why. It was first car I ever brought. I drove cars in between it but I ended up back with that car. Now it’s totaled. The price to fix is far greater then the value of the car. Guess, I’m going to get that new car after-all.   The whole thing took an hour. Which felt entirely too long. I called my tow guy at work to take my car to the garage where I knew it would be stripped and junked. (At least I don’t have to pay for that) I cleared out the personal stuff. In a week, once the legal stuff is finalized, we’ll tear it down for parts. My sister happened to work a few miles down the road. She took us home, we had already notified the professors and we were cleared of taking exams. For right now, I’ll be driving my father’s old pick up until the insurance agency gets my rental situation figured out. It was first real wreck, not counting a fender bender a few years ago that wasn’t even reported. Oh, and my hand is fine now, but I’m basically going lefty right now. Give me suggestions for a new car, though. Money isn’t too much of a concern but I’m shooting stay around the $21-24,000 range. I don’t want another truck or large vehicle, however. I want performance, safety (meaning when I get in another wreck, I won’t see my car collapse as it did, fucking Japanese).   Oh, and I don't like this new and "improved" board.    

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

Refused-New Noise and the shape of a loser to come

Its finals week and that means loads of papers, assignments and exams to prep for. I don’t take it too seriously, it’s just school, after-all. Allison, on the other hand is driving herself and in turn, me crazy with finals prep. It took some convincing to get her off the chair and away from the books and out for the night (which is funny since I’m usually dragged kicking and screaming). We headed down to a local music club where apparently the trendy people go. Some local act, a girl whom is blowing up was playing a set and the place was packed tight since this would probably the last time to see this show for free.   I don’t drink and this essentially made me the lone sober person in the building. She doesn’t drink often but when she does? She makes up for it. She met a girlfriend of hers and they proceeded to dance with the other dancers. I hung back and chatted up with the security guy that I knew from a class last year and things were going fine. The main act showed up around 10 just at the peak of the crowd flow whom ignored the shitty DJ playing the typical stuff. Interestingly enough, the male to female population ratio was dead even. Guys either liked seeing the hot singer in a sauna of a building or got dragged to the show by their girl who was there to support the girl-powered rocker act. Basically, it was P!nk but with actual talent, good vocals and good looks. (Actually, I don’t know how I even made that comparison to begin with)   The show was going well, crowd was hot, she was (to steal a wrestling term thus dragging me back to dork status) “feeling it” and Allison was handling herself pretty well. Then came a moment that enraged me…   This chick was your basic pop-rock act, which is cool and all. That’s her thing. It worked. After her brief intermission, she came back and said she was doing a couple covers since it was her last night there…she played some wispy piano song that I didn’t recognize but the crowd did and went along with it. It was after that performance leading into her next song that pissed me off…   I’m gonna fucking change this shit up, get ready guys, this is “New Noise”!   (I’ll assume that a lot of people reading this don’t know what this song is but it’s from a defunct Swedish punk act from the 90’s that went largely un-noticed, The Refused and this was one of their best songs.)   She went into the song and I would say 20% of the crowd got it which was surprising considering it was mostly a poppy crowd. The band hit it perfectly but she wasn’t even close to matching Dennis Lyxzén' but really, who could? I was completely blown away by her effort though, I commend her for taking a stab at a song like this with a crowd that isn’t remotely connected with that style. This had me totally excited but what made it better was when Allison came up during the song and said “I can’t believe she’s doing Refused”. I never knew she heard of music outside the local pop station. I overheard, just as the song was ending some jack ass standing in the back alone looking as I would imagine a certain TSM poster to look like and started to razz on the girl for doing a “idiotic” punk song “trying to be something she isn’t”. Sort of like how he stood there and pretended to be an music aficionado but really just spewed out Pitchfork columns and went home alone, crying in his beat up van blasting The Smiths. Anyways, the fucking poser finished his little worthless diatribe and as the song finished with a huge reaction from the crowd as she went into her final song (her current radio hit), he started to protest again about her playing. I looked at this tool and shook my head.   He obviously came here, alone of course, just to heckle some very talented and probably soon to be successful singer without showing a shred of actual ingenuity. What prompts these types of people to be idiots? He was alone, so it’s not like he got dragged there and was protesting. He made the effort to show up at a very publicized event knowing full well who was playing and almost seemed rehearsed. Completely killing the mood, me and Allison walked away and he was left to his devices again. I went over to my security guard friend and pointed the idiot out (I wasn’t complaining , just making note of the douche bag) and he looks at me straight ahead and tells me “He’s here almost every night. He comes in alone, gets a vodka and red bull and stands there all night. Never moves but doesn’t do anything stupid except open his mouth from time to time, so we don’t care”.   I felt even sadder for this guy, why make the effort to go to this place, and stand alone quietly and when you do speak up, it’s just to disparage someone that obviously did something right to get a big crowd to see her. Oh well, these people do exist and there’s nothing left for them to do but sleep.   As I mentioned at the beginning of this entry, it’s finals week and I’m not stressed at all. My scores and grades are locked in for the most part and it’ll be another typical semester. Allison won’t be going to this school anymore (she’s staying at the main campus now but I’m taking classes in Middletown next semester). Which is good, actually. Seeing her everyday, having class together and all that made it feel like high school at times.   I’m still working part time at the body shop but got out of the office. Just doing routine oil changes and brake jobs, fairly pedestrian shit but it’s pocket change, so whatever.   I managed to have 90% of the holiday shopping finished already. I got the basics done (girl and intermediate family) and I’ll grab a few gift cards for the extended family and co-workers. I’m getting quasi anxious about the holidays. I just love them and I think this year has great potential to be memorable. Usually people fake their holiday spirit to mask their resentment and I can get that, I used to be that person but I figure you’re just better off not being a impostor and just letting it be honest. This will be the first time, I actually have something serious going on in my life on all levels at this juncture. I’m excelling in school, I’ll have a good job soon (not that I don’t already, but something more permanent down the line), a fantastic relationship that actually inspires hope. I’d try to be downhearted just to keep up with the façade for others but I’m not going to. Why is it that when you’re sad and lonely, you just wish you weren’t. Then, when you’re on cloud nine, you wish you weren’t feeling guilty for feeling good.   The BCS hoopla comes down to the final day and USC choked. Earlier this season, I predicted that Ohio State would play Florida in the NATIONAL TITLE GAME and if the BCS machine does the job right and denies the idiotic rematch concept, I’ll be right. I can’t get the NFL picks right and I blew the Bored contest but at least I got this fucker.

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

Autumn's fall with rocks and babies.

On Saturday morning, driving back home after crashing at Allison’s apartment, I was fairly relaxed and took the scenic route as opposed to my regular routine (after all, I wasn’t in any particular rush to get home). Right now, is my most favorite time of the year. The weather is just right with the heat dying out, the crisp mornings and evening chills creeping in just before the icy freeze of winter’s gloom arrives and you get this build up within, a rush of events in the form of holidays, family gatherings, mass rushes of shopping euphoria and forced kindness in the spirit of the holiday season.   Football is in full bloom from high school (playoff football is a huge deal in SW Ohio), college (the madness of the BCS strikes again, and no matter what the “playoff!” enthusiasts will say, they know that the current format offers so much more intrigue) and pro (the contenders and pretenders separate and the race to the super bowl begins). Movies, the good movies that studios have complete faith in to be academy award candidates are rolling out alongside the family comedy blockbusters that drive the art house elite into frenzied coffee fueled rants about the decline of something that I ignore because they aren’t worth the time to pretend to give a shit.   I drove along with some innocuous music serving as theme music for the long drive and I happened to drive pass a Best Buy, which was oddly placed into a vacant mass of land occupied on its own as if it was mistakenly dropped there and no one bothered to move it to the proper location that was swiftly replaced with another Wal-Mart Super Center. There was a long line of people sitting around the side of the building apparently waiting for the release of yet another stupid game system.   After all the reports that came out about the PS3 release and the backlash that occurred, I couldn’t believe these people (likely the same ones that sat in the same spot a week ago) buy into the promotion that they MUST own these over-priced game systems as soon as humanly possible regardless of all the likely glitches and product dependability issues that always occur from these initial launches. If you can’t wait 3 months when the price will likely drop, the bad editions will be tossed aside and there’s no having to stand in a line with someone who hasn’t showered in a 2-3 days, then I’m can’t really feel sorry for those that wasted a tremendous chunk of money on this product. People are getting robbed and attacked not just by SONY/Nintendo but by regular assholes and I can’t help but to feel like they probably had it coming.     I kept driving along when I somehow ended up behind a dump truck full of dirt, rocks and assorted materials. It was an impassable one lane road, so I did the common sense thing of dropping back a decently measured distance to avoid those pinging rocks and clumps of dirt from colliding with my car. Generally, I won’t care about getting a little dirt on the car or even tiny scruffs from the falling rocks but I still plan on selling this car very soon and I wasn’t looking to lower the value of the car. My intention didn’t work out to my hopes as my impatience got the best of me and I moved in closer and decided I would simply just slingshot past the truck knowing the risk that would occur on a narrow one lane road. I signaled to the driver that I was passing and I began to proceed and about half-way pass the truck, he suddenly sped up as we went into a curve that gave me zero room to make that pass, forcing me to dropping back behind him and as you would imagine with his increased speed and my now close proximity, the rocks bounced off the shaking truck and pinged right onto the hood.   I dropped back again further and finally he disappeared. Once I finally got home, I surveyed the damage to the hood and while it wasn’t drastic, there were noticeable dents and marks. It won’t hurt the car and it can be fixed fairly easy but it’s kind of annoying to see the scruffs and some of the paint chipping away. It’s disconcerting because this was my first purchased car and even though I stopped driving it for awhile, I still had an attachment to it. It was a beautiful, shiny fresh car when I first brought it way back when and now it’s becoming old, used up and faded from its once beautiful state. I guess that’s the course of life for everything, isn’t it?   On Thursday, 11/16/06, my oft-mentioned friend from the past finally gave birth to a supposedly healthy boy (I say this because I never got how they determine health for a freaking infant that’s been alive for no more then 2 days, give it some time to catch a disease or something before labeling it “healthy”). Named the kid, Jason James. Apparently, no real significance. However, that just made me wonder about something.   In all of life, I have to imagine naming your child has to be one of the more stressful tasks possible. It sounds silly but what you name that kid will most likely determine his course in life. Also, will parents stop trying to be creative with names? Throwing extra letters, or changing a letter in a regular name to make it different. I’m stick of the different spellings for names like Sean/Shawn/Shaun. Can’t we have some international vote about what will be the official proper spelling of these names? It seems parents think they win something if they have the most creative name for their kid. Im talking regular folk, not the celebrity nutcases that name their kids, Apple or Suri. At least those kids can point at their parents and we understand. Regular kids with regular parents don’t have an excuse. I did bring this up with Allison though and I learned a lesson.   DON’T.   I learned that girls have pre-named all their future children before we (males) even started killing our prospective kids with scrambled Cine-Max. All I ask if that if I ever do produce a spawn boy, that he’d have my father’s first name for his middle name like the past 4 generations of first born sons in our family have. (I.E, my grandfather’s given first name is my middle name). However, I learned that David (my father’s first name) doesn’t fit with her pre-approved names for any male child. I made a compromise, I would get to name all the dogs. I think it’s a fair trade. Oh, yes. It’s only two months into this thing and we’re already having that “kids/marriage/future” talk. That’s further ahead then I ever really got with my previous ex’s. Scary.          

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

Football ineptitude. Moving and James Woods

It’s official. I have no ability in predicting football games anymore. I correctly predicted (excluding the meaningless MNF game) FIVE games cumulative in College and Pro football pick-em. That’s FIVE FOR THIRTY! I’m not good at math but that’s like a .166 average.   That wasn’t the worst of it over the weekend, though. Friday afternoon, I came home and found my sister standing in the kitchen making dinner which was weird since she hasn’t come over much since the wedding. I asked why she was there and she shrugged, telling me that she was told to come over and start dinner. We made light conversation wondering and speculating on the cause of this apparent family meeting. Finally they each arrived and after we sat down for this prepared dinner, which was beyond weird enough but they finally came out and informed us that they had decided it was time to move and “retire”. Having already made the arrangements and found a house in some small town in Pennsylvania where my mother knew she’d get work as a teacher and my father whom has saved a comfortable amount would essentially work out of his garage doing custom jobs on cars. This didn’t drastically affect my sister, as she’s already on her own with a husband and probably with kids very soon.     Of course, I’m not married. I’m not “settled” in by any means yet. Obviously, I can’t follow my parents down there. They plan on selling the house and this will leave me with a decision to make. I’ve mentioned before here that I wasn’t planning on staying home much longer especially after I already had a brief taste of living on my own. It was time for me to seriously start looking ahead but I’m not really concerned about where I will go (I’ll either get an apartment of my own somewhere near by, probably Middletown because of how dirt cheap it is in comparison to other towns near-by) or I’ll made the serious jump and move in with Allison, whom will be room-mate free next year in Oxford. That’s scary for me, to realize that after just 2 months together, I am willing to live with her. It’s because of this feeling that I don’t want to do that.     I’m more bothered by the prospect of my parents being at least 5-6 hours away from me. I’m not dependant on them but it was always nice, even when I was living at Miami to know that it was just a short drive away if I needed something or they needed me. Sure, I got other family and even a couple friends around but they aren’t your parents.     To make matters worse, having found out my parents were moving and I was out of a home, that fever from two weeks ago crept up again and with the girlfriend out of town, I was left to my own devices and this allowed me to catch up on various movies and TV shows that I hadn’t seen. What, you think I was going to give you a report on those shows/movies? No!   However, I will stay I was greatly entertained by this movie called “Pretty Persuasion”. Granted, it wasn’t the most original plot but the acting was good especially with the hammy greatness of James Woods. I think he automatically improves the quality of every movie he appears in, even if they are all the same smarmy character. I mean, look at this list   Salvador Diggstown Straight Talk Chaplin Casino Nixon Ghosts of Mississippi Contact Vampires Virgin Suicides Any Given Sunday True Crime Riding In Cars With Boys Scary Movie 2 Stuart Little 2/Hercules/Easter Egg Adventure/Recess/Final Fantasy/Grand Theft Auto/Scarface (Voice) Rudy: The Rudy Giuliani Story (Yes, they actually made a movie about him)   What an awesome dude and his TV show rocks too.

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

Dog Day Adventure

Last Wednesday, my dog Grace (2 year old German Shepard Lab) went missing. This isn’t the first time this has happened. She gets out quite often, runs around and returns the next morning. Not any different from most cats, she has a natural sense of direction. In fact, it had become so routine that last Wednesday, no one was really too concerned. Come Thursday evening, panic sank in as she hadn’t returned yet. We sent the necessary calls to local police, vet offices, pounds etc, etc. She had her tags on her collar, so we figured that if someone found her, they would know where to take her. After no luck, we proceeded to dig around some more, placed reward signs at the usual busy sites but still nothing was coming around. We figured it was a lost cause as it had been about a week and now and if she was coming back home at all, she would have by then.   This afternoon, while having lunch with Allison in the commons at school, I received a phone call from my ecstatic mother telling me “We found her!” and after breaking through her long-winded nearly incoherent rant, I figured I should head home and see about this. I got home and I was greeted by Grace wearing a funnel type contraption around her neck. I got the detailed story after this.   On that Wednesday night that she got out, a man had picked her up in a red pickup truck and for whatever reason decided to let her go and left them behind a local pizza joint where an older waitress whom worked there saw this occur as she was in the front parking lot. She didn’t catch the plates or anything because she didn’t think much of it at first until she realized my dog was still outside the back area of the pizza place and hadn’t caused much of a ruckus, not because she was shy or anything but because she was in pain and laid down on the cold wet pavement. She took Grace to her daughter’s house which coincidently was only a couple blocks away on the other side of my house and it was there they realized she had a deep gash on her thigh. However, her collar was no longer intact which also meant no identification.   The next morning, She took her to a local vet and he treated her for the wound, which they couldn’t determine if she had been stabbed or if she self inflicted the wound in some manner. According to the lady, she placed information regarding the discovery of Grace in various locations including other vet offices, local grocery stores etc, etc. My mother had persisted in calling every vet office and pound within a 40 mile radius asking if anyone had seen our dog and gave a through description and we even e-mailed photos to these places but nothing had happened.   This morning, on a whim, a very paranoid friend of my mother happened to be taking her cat to the vet because the cat appeared ill and while she was there, she noticed one of those photos of my dog that the old lady had put up onto their bulletin board. She immediately called the number on the identification sheet and after a quick description, she knew it was our dog. My mother was called and she left work right away to go to the house and that’s where she found Grace laying on their couch comfortably despite the hindrance of the funnel device.   So let’s rewind, the vet’s office had treated and released a dog that was a virtual match for a dog that was reported missing and was called about repeatedly throughout the week and to boot had the location whereabouts of the dog posted right in their main hall. The old lady that took Grace to the vet even told them that it wasn’t her dog but they never put two and two together. Granted, dogs get reported missing constantly and they probably get about 30-45 of these calls per day, so I can understand letting it slip the first time but not for a whole week.   My mother paid the old woman for the vet bills, dog food and a reward and Grace finally got to come home. I’ll be honest, I’m not attached significantly to this dog. I have my own personal dog (Gibson) that I care for and is in my ownership but they are best friends, so it was more rewarding to see my dog get his best friend back because I know he wasn’t happy alone.   We’re still not quite sure exactly what was the circumstances of the man in the red truck and the mysterious wound but quite frankly, it doesn’t matter right now. She’s home, she’ll be healthy after a couple more weeks of rest and she probably learned not to leave the house again.    

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

Tall Stacks. Football

This was a pretty fast week that I didn’t really realize had passed but it was fairly enjoyable in spite of getting into the groove of a easy yet enjoyable job and general happiness in life.   The big “deal” is TALL STACKS. If anyone isn’t familiar with this event, it’s a bi-annual ceremony of riverboats converging onto the riverbank for a ton of concerts (mostly country, folk and some indy rock acts), food and historic stuff along with big fucking boats. It’s a pretty big tourist attraction to say the least and usually I don’t care about it as I’ve only been once and that was a kid and didn’t care for it. However, my chick works the front desk for one of the higher up hotels in that area and they are under the gun, which was the fun part about visiting her at work for the first time. I love seeing girls all flustered by work, it’s cute.   Oh, KKK? The game’s a wrap. Won.   Things to ramble on…   Baseball I was completely off about everything. Which I’m fine with because despite not having any classic games and only Tigers/Yankees game 2 being particularly memorable, I’ve enjoyed this post-season.   Congrats to the A’s for getting that monkey off their proverbial backs and I’ve really gotten to like some of those guys. Minnesota was too business-minded and in turn that hurt them, while Oakland’s free-wheeling nature finally helped them.   The NL West completely laid down and I don’t see either franchise making a 0-2 comeback. They might push it to 5 games but I said each team is done.   It’s fantastic to see Yankees on the ropes against Detroit but I’m not foolish enough to assume that it’s over. Yankees can turn the switch on like *that*.   Football Quickie Picks   Buffalo @ Chicago -Chicago’s really fucking good but Buffalo has the ability to keep games ugly and close. I don’t think it’ll be a blow-out along the lines off the ass-kicking they gave Seattle (which was STATEMENT game) but it’ll be decisive enough.   Buffalo 10 Chicago 20   Cleveland @ Carolina -Cleveland plays ugly but they don’t play good. They can play close but Carolina looks to be clicking with STEVE SMITH out there.   Cleveland 16 Carolina 31   Detroit @ Minnesota -I’m starting to think Detroit might be getting somewhere and Minnesota isn’t going anywhere. I’ll call for the upset win because I think Detroit will cover anyways.   Detroit 23 Minnesota 20   Miami @ New England -NE owned Cincinnati last week in their own statement game. Miami is a complete fraud. Will Miami cover? It’s a division game and Miami has been good against NE in the past, it’s certainly probable.   Miami 9 New England 17   St. Louis @ Green Bay -St. Louis is still a weird team that isn’t clear yet but GB is a bad team and there’s no denying that. I could buy GB pulling off a win here but I’ll be conservative with St. Louis again.   St. Louis 24 Green Bay 16   Tampa @ New Orleans -NO took the predictable lost but looked good in doing so. TB is a disaster and that isn’t exclusive to the QB situation.   Tampa 13 New Orleans 28   Tennessee at Indianapolis (18.5) -Indianapolis had a scare last week and I can’t imagine them getting in that position once more and especially not against Tennessee. The line worries me but I trust Peyton Manning (in the regular season, at least).   Tennessee 7 Indianapolis 31       Washington @ New York -Who knows? Seriously, these are the games you can’t really honestly predict. It’ll be ugly or just all out. No middle ground.   Washington 21 New York 26   Kansas City @ Arizona -Arizona is inching closer to being a step above ineptitude but as long as Warner is their starter, it’s a slow climb. KC does well against shitty teams and this should be no exception.   Kansas City 34 Arizona 20   New York @ Jacksonville -New York looked really good last week and I’m not sure that line is fair. I’ll go with the Jets to cover but not for the win.   New York 13 Jacksonville 17   Oakland @ San Francisco -Good God. SF is so miserable that they could only get 3.5 pts on the Raiders, but to be fair, that’s the same amount Cleveland went up by.   Oakland 10 San Francisco 14   Dallas @ Philadelphia -You would think this was the Super Bowl, given the hype and talk regarding this match. What’s so intriguing about this match-up? Beyond the weak and over-rated catcalls from a degenerate fan base in Philadelphia and the first and ONLY hard shot T.O will get? TO will make his mark against Philadelphia because he thrives in these games. The pressure will eat at McNabb and he’ll wither up as usual.   Dallas 24 Philadelphia 16   Pittsburgh @ San Diego -I think this is a crucial game for each QB. Ben needs to recover and get on track and Rivers will be severely tested as Pittsburgh can swallow up a running game, even one involving LT. It’ll be tight and pretty fun.   Pittsburgh 17 San Diego 21   Baltimore @ Denver -Should be an old style smash mouth game. Plummer against the Ravens defense will be intriguing and let’s see just how magical McAir is against that defense.   Baltimore 17 Denver 10

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

NFL Picks Results and Surgery.

Short notes   -Today was the first day that I was with Allison since saturday night and it was awkward walking to class holding hands. I felt like a 15 year old again. The really unusual thing was that we avoided eye contact today during class, which was weird because before saturday night it always constant. After class, we said goodbye as we go seperate ways for the day. The day after (or the day after the day after, in this case) is always awkward because you're adjusting to a new routine. I think after a few days, we'll get into a good groove.   -I went down to where I'm going to be working to check out the place and get comfortable. I think I'll like it here. Basically, all I'm doing is front-desk work, file-management and the occasional tune-up (I can do oil changes, brake changes and that's about it).   I should clarify that this place isn't one of those quick lube jobs but an old style car repair shop. I like that it doesn't have a real corporate structure and having my car worked on before by these guys, I know the work is quality and I've seen the interaction between customer and workers. It's not the type you'll get at the Jiffy Lube.   -My mother, informed me that she'll be having surgery on friday. It's apparently something involving her uterus but I didn't ask for information beyond that. It's a minor surgery, so I'm not that concerned but anytime a family member or friend goes through something like this, you can get paranoid.   I hate surgery. I've had over 20 surgeries in my life. It's just something that I got tired off and I've avoided the need for once since Thanksgiving weekend 2001.   Earlier last week, I decided since I wasn't involved with KKK's pick-em's this weekend, I would still elect to pick the games but without the spread. Here's how i did.   Predicted score first   New York 16 Buffalo 7   *Actual Score* New York 28 Buffalo 20   1-0   *Buffalo, had a tease going but with Losman running the ship, they will only sink further. If anything, they should just tank the season and grab a new QB. Anyone will be an upgrade from Losman.*   Cincinnati 27 Pittsburgh 17   *Actual Score* Cincinnati 28 Pittsburgh 20   2-0   *Very good game. Both of the QB’s were off today but Palmer got the job done when they needed it. Ben, choked. Ben, played horribly and he proved my assessment in regards to him still not being comfortable on the field. The accident mentally damaged him more then he’s letting on.   Rudi Johnson, was effectively shut down but the Bengals defense came up big time capitalizing on Ben’s many mistakes.   “YOU WISH YOU WERE ME!”- Jerry Porter.   Great trash talking from Porter to Chad Johnson but as usual teams are too worried about Chad and forgetting Chris Henry hanging around in the end-zone.   Of course, the next morning Odell Thurman gets arrested for DUI. Naturally, Chris Henry was on the scene*   Jacksonville 10 Indianapolis 14   *Actual Score* Jacksonville 14 Indianapolis 21   3-0   *Jacksonville, will look back and be glad they dropped this game. They didn’t need the media hype surrounding them. The quieter they can remain, the better their success will be. Indianapolis, still has issues and I don’t think they can realistically be considered the team to beat in the AFC. Not with the way Cincinnati is playing on each side of the field.*   Tennessee 10 Miami 24   *Actual Score* Tennessee 10 Miami 13   4-0   *I got half of it right. I underestimated just how bad Culpepper really is and the team as a whole. They really should have blown them out but they didn’t.*   Washington 13 Houston 17   *Actual Score* Washington 31 Houston 15   4-1   *I said I didn’t care for either team and I still don’t. At least Washington took advantage when they needed to*   Chicago 20 Minnesota 10   *Actual Score* Chicago 19 Minnesota 16   5-1   *Classic NFC Black and Blue game. Ugly and tight. Chicago impressed me in that they didn’t buckle against a real team. Minnesota, proved their worth by pushing Chicago all day. With the NFC, they have a good shot at a wild-card berth. *   Carolina 28 Tampa 16   *Actual Score* Carolina 26 Tampa 24   6-1   *STEVE SMITH! STEVE SMITH! STEVE SMITH! Carolina killed Tampa with all those yards and Td’s from STEVE SMITH!…wait, you mean Carolina barely edged past Tampa? Maybe, this team wasn’t as good as we thought. Poor Chris Simms. First, he spends the whole week watching the media rip him, then he gets slaughtered in the game and to top his miserable week off, he loses a spleen and the season. Somewhere Major Applewhite is smiling.*     Green Bay 17 Detroit 14   *Actual Score* Green Bay 31 Detroit 24   7-1   *Favre is back! Let the blowjobs commence. Look, it was against Detroit. Brett got to 400 and is 18 behind Dan Marino’s record. He has one more visit against Detroit this season, if he can find 10 Td’s throughout the rest of the season, he might get that record. Also, it's time for Millen to get the pink slip.*   Baltimore 21 Cleveland 7   *Actual Score* Baltimore 15 Cleveland 14   8-1   -I guess people were a bit premature on jumping onto the Baltimore bandwagon*   St Louis 31 Arizona 27   *Actual Score* St. Louis 16 Arizona 14   9-1   *I still don’t understand the ending sequence and I'm excited for the arrival of the Matt Leinert era*   New York 16 Seattle 13   *Actual Score* New York 30 Seattle 42   9-2   *Well, I was pretty with that. Poor Eli, it’s bad enough that he inherited his last name but he’ll always be forced to live under the spotlight cast by his older brother.   Maybe if he didn’t suck in the first quarter all the time, he wouldn’t need to fall into a No-Huddle. If he does a No-Huddle, he’ll just get compared to Peyton. He can’t win at all. He’ll still win a conference title before Peyton does.   Couglin, getting ripped by Shockey will get alot of press and somewhat deservingly so. I'm more stunned that Shockey hasn't gone full blown T.O on NY yet*   Philadelphia 24 San Francisco 13   *Actual Score* Philadelphia 38 San Francisco 24   10-2   *Philly, recovered from that humiliating collapse to NY by beating down the NFL proverbial JTTS*   Denver 10 New England 16   *Actual Score* Denver 17 New England 7   10-3   *I usually don’t care for these two teams and think they get too much network love. Brady, really does need a go-to guy like Branch but I don’t think the team is hurting too much. I think the league has caught up and figured out Belichek’s scheme and without Romeo and Charlie, Billy isn’t adapting as quick as he needs to. Besides, Denver always had NE's number and I forgot about it*   Atlanta 26 New Orleans 17   *Actual Score* Atlanta 3 New Orleans 23   10-4.   *Wow. First off, I’m not going to be an asshole. It was nice to see the city of New Orleans have something special, even if it’s fleeting. Let’s not go overboard and start claiming that this event will completely reverse the damage and that NO is going to thrive once again.   The game will be an emotional uplift for the city but the euphoria will be only brief.   U2 always makes a football game seem larger then life but dragging Green Day into wasn’t needed. Green Day is acceptable in their own little corner but they aren’t the right band for a football game and especially as a means to be spiritual uplift. How is “Wake Me Up When September Ends” (a protest song against war) supposed to inspire the crowd? The only reason they played that song because it was a recent hit and it’s still September.   The circumstances to the opening of the game were wacky and I guess we’re supposed to intrepret that as destiny doing its work. It can’t be a really bad blocking effort distracted by the intense noise? No.   Vick’s invincibility was shattered yet again. Back to the drawing board.   New Orleans and Cincinnati are undefeated and are looking like legitimate teams. Try saying that 7 years ago with a straight face*   I went 10-4, but that wasn't with the spread intact. I think I fared better on my off-week as opposed to when I'm actually playing in the pick-em's.

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

The Date and a New Job.

New Job. New Girl.   I knew that I couldn’t let myself be stagnate for too long and I managed to avoid getting trapped in a rhythm of idleness.   The New Job   I was getting bored with just school-work because after that was concluded or just ignored, that left me with nothing to do. Which leads me to wasting time doing nothing, such as being at TSM, for instance.   I got in touch with an old co-worker of mine that left a few months ago, back when I was still working on the floor. After a few minutes of bullshitting, he dropped a mention that he was running his brother’s car repair shop. He needed someone to run the office since he was more mechanically inclined then running a business. Since I have experience in office work and I’m more then capable of car repairs, It seems like an comfortable fit for me for the time being.   I start next Friday. It should be good, It’s close to school and I’ll only be working there 25 hours a week, so that’s nothing and the pay (decent) isn’t a concern right now. I just needed to be in some working environment and I know the people there, so it should be a good deal.   I intend for this to be short-term. -   Getting the Girl.   Over the past couple weeks, I have made references to a particular dilemma. That being the process of moving into a new relationship.   The issue was that, I had one girl that I wanted. There was another girl that showed a great deal of interest in me. The latter, wasn’t bad. Usually, I would have gone for it despite her status with another guy and especially with her already knowing my family.   The problem was the other girl.   I just had a relationship over the summer that was involved with someone who knew my family well and it obviously didn’t work out as greatly as I had hoped…but the more important reasoning for me not directly making my move for the girl who made it rather clear about her intentions was simply because I had to get the other girl.   It started about 3 ½ weeks ago, it’s the classic story. She was in my class and across the room. Our eyes met and from there, it was intense. After a few days of nothing but mere eye contact, I finally went to her in the parking lot. This begun a routine of casual conversation and flirtation…   Friday morning, in an ugly, rainy morning, She (Allison) pulled up next to me in her car and she waved at me as I was getting out. She looked fantastic. She’s tall, for a girl at least. (5’9) with very slender toned body and really fantastic blue eyes. She stepped out wearing a pair of light blue track pants and a blue half zipped track jacket with nothing underneath. We talked as we headed to class, which was an exam day, this gave us a ice-breaker for the 10 minute walk.   During the exam, she looked across to me and whispered “Let’s get out of here”. So, we rushed through the rest of the exam and left together. We talked a little more and as we got back to our cars (that was our only class that day), I pulled her in a little and finally drop the obvious question…   As rain began to douse us, I took a quick look into her eyes, and I grinned.   “So, tomorrow night? I hope you don’t have any plans because I have every intention of taking you out. So, what are your plans now?” I asked with more confidence then ever before in my life as I watched her bite her lower lip and she raised her eyebrows and smiled with this slight chuckle “Finally” she laughed “What does that mean?” I continued to play along “It took you awhile, I was getting worried but yeah, tomorrow night sounds great.”   My heart bloomed at the sound of her acceptance   “Cool, I’ll pick you up ’bout 8?” “Great” she smiled once again as she slipped back into her car and I watched her drive off.   The Date   She lived in Oxford (Miami’s campus) and I went to her apartment and I was introduced and inspected by her room-mates. I hate room-mates, because it forces you to work around with them as well but I didn’t have much problem with those 2 girls. She came out looking magnificent in a captivating black and white dress. We went to this restaurant in my hometown, it’s a **** joint, which meant of course, higher priced meal.   I didn’t take her to impress her with a higher priced restaurant but because the building was once the City Building. My mother worked there as an secretary for the Mayor before I was born. My old house, where I came up was ½ mile from the restaurant. I wanted her to get a full idea of who I am and where I came up at. It just happened that I threw in a really good dinner.   Everything went right, the dinner was fantastic and we were really clicking. So many things we had in common but not so much that it was like dating a mirror image. She’s very intelligent and sweet but has a slight coldness to her (combined with her height and body frame, it almost reminded me of TSM’s own, Leena! Scary, I know). We took a walk around town to show her my old house, my old playground and all the crazy shit I did here. I could tell she really enjoyed it.   So there it was, a light drizzle but we didn’t care as we headed to that old playground and we climbed up the tiny step ladder and took a seat on top of the monkey bars and looked out at the empty field and the moon right in front of us. We took each other’s hands and just sat in silence for about 20 minutes when the rain started picking up. We ran back, laughing to my car which was still at the restaurant. I thought of taking her back to my house but I figured that was jumping too quick. We went back to Oxford and I took her right to her apartment door. Then, it was that always scary but so fulfilling moment when we just leaned up against the door and took each other hands once again and she kissed me. I kissed her back. After a few minutes of this, we finally came down from it.. She opened the door and smiled and she whispered sweetly “You’re amazing. See you Monday?” and slipped another quick kiss and finally went back inside.   So, here it is. I wanted this and I got her. I’m terrified now. It’s one thing to have a okay date and have uncertainty in the future but when you hit a virtual home run and you know it has everything you hoped for…it makes you nervous and paranoid. It’s been about 3 hours since that moment by her door and I’m craving for more but not the physical nature of it. I need the connection, that electricity that charges throughout. That’s the kill.   On monday morning, I’ll be seeing her again in that parking lot at school, where just 4 days ago…this whole idea seemed like a distant fantasy. Reality is always better then the fantasy.

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

Find me in Los Angeles. Football picks, too

I never intended to network, especially during school but I found myself in the process of this on Monday.   One of my classes is Art History: Concepts in Digital Media. I don’t care much for art, I mean, I appreciate the talents and creative process involved but I’ve never made it a point to care about this subject.   So, I’m taking this class because Miami University has this fucking idiotic concept called The Miami Plan. Essentially, no matter what you’re majoring, you have to fulfill requirements in specific fields not directly relating to it. For instance, X number of credits in Cultures, Science, Math, English, Fine Arts, Foreign Language and others that I forget. Luckily, some cross-over. I needed one more credit for Fine Arts. I elected this class merely because it slotted perfectly in between two other classes and because the professor has a reputation of being fairly well-liked.   So, I’ve been taking a class that I don’t care for aside from presence of the girl that I have mention in the previous entries. On Monday, while chatting with this said girl, she had asked me about my previous jobs and such.   It was at this time, my professor begun to eavesdrop . I told the girl that I had worked as a welder for a couple months before moving onto doing assembly work (which, as my loyal readers know lead me to the office job over the summer). My professor asked me about my history as a welder and this leads to her offering me a nice sum of money to construct a metal design that she had created and wanted to use as a canvas for a painting she plans to place in her Los Angeles Art Gallery.   So, she gave me the sketch of what she wanted and it wasn’t really that difficult to put together. I called up my old job and asked one of the key welders if he could loan me the metal I would require for the job, and not only did he offer me whatever I wanted, but would do the job for me as minimal cost (I didn’t tell him the actual price I was offered).   So, while in the process of talking to a girl that I’m pursuing, I managed to “network” myself into a pretty nice situation that’ll not only pay well but actually give me amusement of saying something I built is being viewed by snobs in Los Angeles.   I’m used to building things that a lot of people see on a daily basis but that’s all thankless work. This, once it’s completed will be recognized in some form. It’s pretty surreal.   Since my team representative in the KKK pick’ems, are lazy bastards and took a early bye week, this means I’m also “off” but that doesn’t mean I’m not looking at the games.   Here are my picks   New York Jets @ Buffalo Bills -People are getting too excited about Buffalo. I get that 1-1, is probably the best you can expect from this team but it’s really drastic to get excited. The Jets, on the other hand, have problems of their own. This makes this one of those dreaded coin toss games.   It really can go either way with two sub-par teams. It’s a toss up, but I’m thinking Buffalo takes a quick fall back to the basement.   New York 16 Buffalo 7   Cincinnati Bengals @ Pittsburgh Steelers -This is the GAME OF THE WEEK. Is it merely hometown bias? Perhaps but you can’t argue the importance of this game especially with the resurgent Baltimore franchise.   Cincinnati has a very potent offense crowded with targets, and a defense that has shown great improvements in stopping the run and continue their usual trend of picking off hapless Quarterbacks. It suffered a trio of rough injuries, most devastating being David Pollack’s season ender.   Pittsburgh, has a QB that appears to still be feeling the effects not just his most recent surgery but the near death experience just a few months ago. You see the change in Roethlisberger, beyond the cosmetic appearance. He really doesn’t look secure as he once did. It’s understandable, but on the field, a QB can’t doubt himself because it’ll damage the team.   Carson Palmer, suffered an severe injury just 9 months ago that many felt could be a career ender and has rebounded to his 2005 form, already. With an abundance of contempt stored within him against the Pittsburgh franchise, you have to assume that Palmer will never be mentally prepared and intense as he’ll be on Sunday on Heinz Field.   In my opinion, the playoff game last January between these two has elevated this rivalry among the most vicious and passionate stage of hatred in the NFL. With that level of animosity, it’ll stay close by sheer will but in the end, Rudi Johnson’s fresher legs and Palmer’s determination should be the deciding factor.   Cincinnati 27 Pittsburgh 17   *Bonus Prediction* Replays of Palmer’s injury during the telecast: 106.   Jacksonville Jaguars @ Indianapolis Colts -These two always play to Jacksonville’s style. Indianapolis, is usually forced to strip it’s identity of high-octane offense and play smash mouth football.   We all know that a certain element of the previous Colts teams that played a crucial role in their success is no longer around and that is James. This is the first game in which his absence will be felt. It’ll be an ugly game because that’s Jacksonville’s style and they’ll force Indy to convert to it.   I’ll go with Indianapolis to pull it off, despite their issues.   Jacksonville 10 Indianapolis 14   Tennessee Titans @ Miami Dolphins -Remember when Miami was going to win the AFC Championship and that Daunte Culpepper was going to blaze through the NFL with complete dominance? Remember when Vince Young, appeared unstoppable?   It never really existed. Miami, was an overblown sexy pick by the media and the sheep that followed them. While they had (and still might) have a outside shot at the wild-card, they have been exposed as frauds in that regard. Culpepper, still hasn’t improved and you can’t blame the injury as Carson Palmer suffered a equally severe injury and has returned to form, with lesser healing time. It appears more and more that Culpepper was merely a product of great system and WR corps.   Tennessee, is a mess. Kerry Collins, can never really be your franchise QB. Not anymore, he had a couple miracle seasons in NY and Carolina but reality sunk in. This guy was so bad, Oakland dumped him for Aaron Brooks. Vince Young, is still a very long way from developing.   This will still be the game Miami needed to shake the cobwebs off and gain some confidence via a solid victory.   Tennessee 10 Miami 24   Washington Redskins @ Houston Texans -There probably isn’t a set of teams that I have less interest in then these two respective teams. I really don’t care what happens. I’ll take Houston, just because Joe Gibbs being 0-3 feels right. (What a shitty year for Gibbs. His football team starts off 0-2 and gets embarrassed by Drew Bledsoe on national primetime television and his star race car driver, Tony Stewart failed to make the “Chase For The Cup” but his hapless rookie driver stumbled into it, forcing them to shift the marketing campaign.)   Washington 13 Houston 17   Chicago Bears @ Minnesota Vikings -The other day, some morons in the NFL thread actually challenged the validity of calling Chicago a favorite for the super bowl.   Am I claiming that Chicago will be in Miami representing the NFC? No, but it’s far from outlandish to consider them a realistic possibility. Especially, with this suffocating defense and apparently, improved offense. We’ll find out if Chicago’s improved offense is just the effects of playing two very poor teams or if it’s legitimate.   Minnesota, has been a slight surprise but it’s hardly indicative of what to expect down the road. I think they’ll give Chicago it’s most difficult test to date but given the quality of the teams Chicago dispatched, I believe that any NCAA DIV.I-AA school could pose a greater threat.   Chicago 20 Minnesota 10   Carolina Panthers @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers -A world without STEVE SMITH is a really shitty one for the Carolina franchise. Already stumbling out of the gate at 0-2, despite the usual preseason hoopla from the media isn’t how they envisioned the season to start.   Luckily, they collide into another divisional rival with a similar tale but much more dreadful display thus far. Carolina, will benefit greatly by facing a team that appears to be falling apart.   Carolina 28 Tampa Bay 16     Green Bay Packers Vs Detroit Lions -Ugly. Favre, in a dome vs. Jon Kitna, on football field. Sounds like thanksgiving for any opposing corner in the NFL. It’ll either be a sloppy grotesque performance by each team or a shootout exposing the really weak defenses.   Let’s go in between and say   Green Bay 17 Detroit 14   Baltimore Ravens Vs Cleveland Browns -I said this on Sunday, but I’ll repeat it. People are greatly focusing on the incredibly putrid teams in Oakland, Detroit, Washington, Green Bay, Tennessee and Tampa Bay and have severely overlooked Cleveland.   It’ll be an ugly game but Baltimore and its newfound offense will turn the switch late in the game to put it away.   Baltimore 21 Cleveland 7   St. Louis Rams Vs Arizona Cardinals -What you have here is a really bad Kurt Warner playing against a team that appears be searching for something and keeps wandering away from where it started. The bottom line, if Kurt Warner is on the field, you generally take the other team.   Probably high scoring, yet boring.   St. Louis 31 Arizona 27   *Bonus prediction* Warner Sack Total: 6   New York Giants Vs Seattle Seahawks -Last year’s game was fairly memorable for specific reason. It went down to FG’s last time around and I’ll stick with that theme.   New York 16 Seattle 13   Philadelphia Eagles @ San Francisco -Philly, could easily fall quickly as they are probably still stuck figuring out exactly what the hell went wrong last week. Philly, despite being disorientated should still manage to get it done this weekend.   Philadelphia 24 San Francisco 13     Denver Broncos @ New England -Each team hasn’t necessarily been all that impressive this season, but that’s the mantra for the NE, to lay around in the weeds for awhile and strike around week 10 and we’re back to New England blowjobs and whiny blowhard fans.   This will be the game that really gets the “Cutler!” fan base increased as New England wins in typical NE fashion.   Denver 10 New England 16   MONDAY NIGHT Atlanta Falcons @ New Orleans Saints. -In case you missed it, the city of New Orleans was decimated by an brutal hurricane. It’s okay, only black people lived there. However, in the wake of this ruin was a franchise with no direction other then the road to San Antonio, TX.   Then came the resurrection. Almost gift-wrapped by the city of Houston, Reggie Bush landed in the collective outstretched arms of The Big Easy.   Despite the controversial nature surrounding Bush, he has been a brilliant marketing machine since his arrival in New Orleans.   This game will mark the return to the SuperDome, which was used as a staging area during the hurricane. The game is sold out and with NO starting off 2-0, the fans are expected to be emotional.   The reality, despite the potential tearful return “home”, they face a very good Atlanta Falcons team that has Michael Vick fully utilizing his potential, an stud of a RB in Warrick Dunn and a tremendously beefed up defense.   It’ll be a somber return for New Orleans.   Atlanta 26 New Orleans 17   *Bonus Prediction* Reggie Bush stats: 89 Yards, 10 rushes. 1 Td

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

NFL. School. Fuckin' Marvin.

The first week of NFL action, was a disaster. Everyone tends to neglect that the first week of NFL action is poor because teams are just starting. Usually by week 4, is when things get rolling. The Bengals thoroughly embarrassed the K.C Chiefs despite a shaky offensive performance. A Cincinnati team with improved defense (held fantasy stud RB Johnson to 68 yards and 7 sacks, in addition to a pair of fumbles and an INT). The real embarrassment came from Green Bay and Oakland. (I’m willing to consider Tampa’s horrid showing as a mere aberration). Oakland has a sorry excuse of a QB. They knew this going into the season and were desperate enough to actually give Jeff George a try-out. Green Bay, was probably well prepared for the season they are about to have and despite a tremendously weak schedule, they will still have trouble reaching 5 wins. Oakland, really looked like a team that may be rendered winless throughout the entire season.   A lot of hype and talk pours from the first week and people are already proclaiming that Baltimore is “back”, that Washington is already dead. That T.O and Drew Bledsoe are heading towards a collision by week 6. I get that the Media and talk radio need some material but they really pull stuff out of their collective asses to cover air.   Aside from obvious things such as Aaron Brooks being the most inept starting QB today and for the better part of his career and that GB isn’t going upward anytime soon…nothing is for sure in the NFL. Except the things that are for sure…   College Football, on the other hand? Complete bore. The only intriguing stuff is the near wins from the cup-cake teams and that hasn’t gotten anywhere and that element is gone now as real games get underway. I just wish they would go ahead and start the BCS bitching and the playoff complaints.   Baseball, is suffering again from NFL’s mighty hand as the summer which was ripe with interest is quickly fading outside the AL Central competitors. The Reds, are still hanging by a thread but with the Marlins being the Marlins…You probably should pencil them in for another WC berth and WS victory as America yawns in approval.   The high from the previous weekend being caught up in the wedding bliss and anxious excitement that surrounds it dissipated sometime Monday afternoon and has been sinking downwards. The first two weeks of classes, where things are still in the air and everyone including the professor is getting adjusted has settled and things are really starting to pick up steam now and Im trying to kill years of laziness by actually getting it done ahead of time.   I had 6 classes at one point, but I've scaled down to four classes. Figuring the other two classes are better suited for next semester where I can take those two classes in addition to the other 3 required classes for the Miami Plan. In case I never mentioned it, Creative Writing is my major.   This is the result of countless professors, peers and family/friends telling me that I am a polished creative mind. While my actual writing skills need touch-up, it’s wise direction to take. I don't think any major I would choose actually matters to me in the long run, as my future is probably set in some office anyways. I suppose I should be focused on Business-Management but despite my experience and skills in that department, I don't like business.   I really need to get a job though. Not because I need money (still got that saved) but I need something to fill up the hours. Everyone else I know (knew) is always working/schooling. I need something to do with the other 14 hours of my day, because the 'NET isn't it.   I do hate being single. I really do. The really annoying part about this is that im constantly reminded of my most recent ex, because I have a class with her older sister and we usually have lunch together. It's completely cordial but obviously the back of mind is thinking about my ex. I don't want to get back with her, but I do want that *thing* back again.   There are always options. Two of them are right there...   One would be my sister's best friend, the girl from the wedding that I mentioned. As of this moment, she is still with her boyfriend but things change and if that requires me to push the first domino...then it might just come down to that.   There is this other girl, this started back a couple weeks ago. It was just a couple days of constant eye contact but no direct communication.   Then, I finally went to her as we were walking towards the parking lot...we had a very lovely conversation that afternoon and we make the occasional chit-chat here and there and the eye contact has remained persistent...but I’m still feeling a slight chill of ice in her. I want to break that but in a rare occurrence for me...I'm nervous.   Maybe it’s the months spent here with people like WP and Marvin clouding my mind and injecting their issues through me because I’m rarely in the position to lack confidence.   I’ll figure this out yet.

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

The Wedding.

The Wedding.   No long story here. It was fantastic in every since of the word. My sister looked superbly radiant, the ceremony was tremendous and even had a dose of comedic relief from the ring-bearer having a brief tug-o-war with the buttons on his pillow. The whole thing was great from pre-wedding pictures, (which was an event of its own), to the antics in the groom's room involving all sorts of hilarious moments that would only be funny for those involved in the moment.   Like I said in the bachelor party entry, I wasn't actively looking for anything other then having a good time socializing with my family but that didn't exactly happen.   Last night and for most of the pre-wedding stuff, me and my sister's maid of honor were constantly flirting and having a great time together. It's weird that I had never actually met her before despite being my sister's best friend for the last 3 years.   So, of course, she has a boyfriend, whom was completely late for the wedding and half the reception. My sister, was almost glowing seeing me and her best friend getting along so well. She's pretty cute with a great personality. After the boyfriend showed up, I left her alone and continued having a upstanding time with the family and meeting new people. However, before she left, she gave me a hug with an extended period of time and of course, the subtle kiss followed with the slight of hand number exchange in my pocket. So, a pretty cute girl who already makes good money (assistant director at some marketing company), already close with the family and a fantastic personality to boot? I could do worse.   I was afraid I would be "down" about this whole event, starting to get depressed about my confusing love life but I had a complete blast. Weddings just never suck. The only negative was that my father's family were barely there. Some didn't even bother making the 30 minute drive and those that did, stuck around for the ceremony and maybe a quick bite at the dessert bar. Since there wasn't an open bar, they had no reason to stick around apparently.     So, a pretty fun three days for me and it gets better with the first full day of the NFL in just a few hours....I haven't slept in nearly 48 hours and my feet are basically gone, so I should hopefully crash soon.

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

US Open. Football. Wrestling.

It’s Friday night, and I’m anti-social. It used to be that I spent Friday nights at home because I always worked Saturday mornings but here, I really don’t have any out.   I’ll address non-real life issues first   The US Open   No, really. I like tennis. I was fairly good at in high school recreation, and should have been on the main team but I was busy with Baseball and speech tournaments to devote myself to Tennis. I wasn’t physically designed for competitive tennis anyways. However, I obtain interest in the sport from time to time…   Tennis hasn’t been significant in the grand scheme of things in this country since Pete called it quits and America stopped caring about the other Williams sister while the good and better looking one started getting distracted by the prospect of being Paris Hilton’s sidekick on the red carpet.   Roddick was a failure in more ways then one. Product of hype followed by a couple years of mainstream popularity thanks to his looks and relationship with once relevant musical pop star turned Independent movie queen, Mandy Moore. He never reached that level the mainstream and tennis enthusiasts felt he could. Granted, that could change since he still has time.   Roger let’s be realistic. He’s a fantastic player, easily the best since Pete retired and might end up better then him in the end but he doesn’t sell to anyone outside the tennis world. He could end up with more grand slams than you can count but he’ll probably be met with a resounding “who?” for the remainder of his career. Obviously, that doesn’t help Tennis get back to its peak.   From a female side, none of the girls are really at that level that reached in the old days or even just 5 years ago. Maria is good looking and she isn’t an Anna (which is good for the credibility of the sport) but it’s dying to produce new superstars.   Also, he is irrelevant these days but fuck you, Marat Safin.   As for the important thing…   Andre Agassi.   On the surface, Agassi is an impressive story all in itself considering how he virtually disappeared for years while Pete became the official top dog. He kept himself in the news with his failed publicity stunt marriage but came out looking like gold by rejuvenating his career not just on the court but on the market.   He improved on that by marrying the beloved and sweet hearted Steffi Graf. It’s funny seeing her in the stands as a tennis wife, because for a brief moment you trick yourself into forgetting she was once who she is. I feel for their kids if they ever go into tennis. That’s like being the son of Michael Jordan and whatever great woman’s basketball player that exists.   This is Andre’s last stand. Obviously, the crowd is responding accordingly in the manner in which you expect people to behave in a locale known as “Flushing Meadows”. Appropriate. I can tune out the crowd once they get really ridiculous. Leena mentioned that “no one should announce retirements” and I can see the point in that but in the case of Andre, I don’t think he needed to make that official announcement. The writing was emphatically on the wall in bright flashing neon reminiscent of his old fashion style.   Putting that aside, how could you not be sucked into this? You don’t have to enjoy tennis or understand the logic of the game, Agassi is such an incredible and captivating persona that you won’t realize that you spent 4+ hours watching intently to a game you otherwise wouldn’t give a shit about.   It probably ends now and that’s for the best really. It’s a good way to go out by losing to the appointed “future” (although, that ship is sinking) and he’ll probably put up a competitive fight through sheer willpower alone. It’s better this way, instead of getting spanked by a superior talent and limping away. Andre had a phenomenal career that had so many valleys, but he leaves a gracious superstar. It’s not that commonplace in sports and it’s not so common in a sport that an entire nation forgot about, but it’ll remember for a couple more days when they watch an old broken man have his last dance.         Football (Pro and College)   I can’t really explain it, but it happens with seemingly more dramatic fanfare and pomp each late summer heading into the breach of fall. Football season approaches and there is this palpable intensity permeating throughout this country. It doesn’t matter if you are a die hard fan of the Cowboys, Miami Hurricanes or even the dregs of NCAA DIV. II…You get anxious to the point, you begin to dream, eat, sleep and breath football.   It’s beautiful and oddly enough, it never dies down. In baseball, you go through lulls. In Basketball and Hockey, it becomes a waiting game until the playoffs finally arrive. Football, on each pro and collegiate level never ceases to lose interest. College football has a built in curiosity that locks in the fans and because of the nature of the NCAA Div. 1, every game literally counts. The whole season is a virtual playoff. Of course, 95% of the entire league is pretty much automatically exempt from the thought of contending for the national title. That’s one of the few negatives about college football. This season, you got the usual suspects getting pre-season hype and attention for legitimacy in contending for the championship.   Ohio State, Texas, USC, Notre Dame (making their first trip to the upper echelon in a few years), West Virginia (the annual sexy pick), Auburn, Florida and LSU.   It’s drastically early to seriously predict the championship contenders but rest assured this regular season won’t end without the annual pointless, meaningless and fruitless debate over the supposed necessity of a playoff system and of course, the traditional BCS bashing routine. It’s the same article every season with the occasional changed team. Right now, take confidence that a minimum of two teams will cry foul about being “screwed” out of the BCS bowls, a team ranked 10-15 spots lower then those teams will obtain one of those cushy spots via the privilege of being the best of a lesser conference.   Random Championship Game Prediction Florida over Ohio State     NFL is scripted a little differently but the act usually plays out the same. The usual suspects will be legitimate threats, an unexpected team will rise from the dead to baffle the fans and pundits equally and the league will enjoy divine parity throughout the land creating a greater opportunity for increased ratings and sales revenue. This is a key season for the new commissioner, Roger Goodell (seriously, like that name doesn’t lend itself to a deluge of bad puns). While the league isn’t going to collapse with his arrival, it’s important to see how he implements his own touch and maintain the effective standing of the league.       A lot of questions were being asked locally about the status of MVP candidate and rising superstar, Carson Palmer and his recovery from the devastating injury he suffered last January. That has been defiantly answered in the eyes of fans, pundits and most importantly, Carson Palmer. He’s ready to go. His physical skills are still intact and that mental block has been lifted.   With a healthy Palmer, there’s little doubt that Cincinnati’s offense is insane and rivals the Colts in explosiveness and with a change in Indianapolis’s running game, Cincinnati is operating with a squad that remains intact from the past season with more familiarity and comfort within the system. The defense will remain a sketchy issue. The ability to capture turnovers is fantastic, but not when you allow runners to destroy you. The Bengals have looked nothing short of brilliant in the pre-season, but that’s the pre-season.   Does that make them the overall favorite? No. A questionable defense and a quarterback recovering from a serious injury creates skepticism. The favorites, across the board are the usual suspects of Indianapolis (with the window rapidly closing), Carolina (with additional offensive help in Johnson), Pittsburgh (The defending champs, minus the Bus and EL), Seattle (faced with the Madden and SB Curse simultaneously) and the perennial favorite that you can’t overlook…New England.   Miami is the sexy pick for this season, while a legitimate Wild-Card contender, I don’t buy them as SB contenders.   Don’t forget that Reggie Bush is going to rebuild the city of New Orleans with his magic feet. Don’t forget that Michael Vick is a natural athlete that you can’t contain, unless you watch all the other teams who have managed just that. Don’t forget that T.O plays for Dallas and he might have some problemswith the coaching staff. Universe outside his planet. Don’t forget that Peyton Manning can’t win the big one. Don’t forget that Larry Johnson is the ultimate fantasy player… Don’t forget that Brett Favre should have retired after-all. Don’t forget that Matt Millen is a idiot. Don’t forget that the NFL owns your soul.   Regular Season Predictions With Little Thought Implemented AFC East: New England, Miami, Buffalo and New York AFC South: Indianapolis, Jacksonville, Houston and Tennessee AFC North: Cincinnati, Pittsburgh, Baltimore and Cleveland AFC West: Kansas City, San Diego, Denver and Oakland Wild Cards: Miami and Jacksonville   NFC East: Dallas, Philadelphia, Washington and New York NFC South: Carolina, New Orleans (yes, there is always a team like NO doing this) Atlanta, Tampa Bay NFC North: Chicago, Green Bay (really easy schedule gives them 5 wins, which might be enough for 2nd), Detroit and Minnesota (I just sense a really miserable season, again for these guys) NFC West: Seattle, St. Louis, Arizona and San Francisco Wild-Card: Philadelphia and St. Louis (I think the North is complete crap and the east will play each other, leaving St. Louis to waltz in there)   Super Bowl Pick Carolina over New England       Wrestling Raw is a joke. It’s all McMahon and all DX. It’s 1998 without everything that worked. Smackdown is still vacant in the Cincinnati area and unlikely to return for the time being. Still clearly designed as the C show and the atrocious Eddie Guerrero exploitation persists.   ECW is the only interesting thing going in WWE land and that’s only for the voyeuristic aspect of watching a train wreck. CM Punk is “shockingly” (in the eyes of jaded internet fans) getting a modest mid-card push without losing any of the values and principles that made him so endeared to the independent fan base to begin with…well, other then his standard 30 minute promos and 60 minute matches.   However, squashing nobodies isn’t what Punk deserves. However, if being a bright spot in between WWE’s second helping of Raw on Tuesday nights on Sci-Fi and avoiding being a part of the main act is all Punk is getting, it might not be a bad deal after-all.   Remember most were adamant that Punk would regret turning TNA down on the basis of no television exposure only to have TNA sign with Spike days after finalizing the deal with WWE? That Punk would be wasted and reduced to nothing, and would have thrived in TNA.   Aside from the possibility of one more match with Joe on PPV, what else would Punk obtained in TNA that he didn’t in OVW and WWE as of right now.   Punk will eventually move into actual programs and meaningful matches, in ECW already he has reached a audience twice the size that TNA reaches. In OVW, he spent a year under the mastermind of Paul Heyman as they worked to create the BEST televised wrestling show in 2005 and half of 2006. Had fantastic feuds and was the flagship for that promotion. He improved on his skills and became a tighter performer.   All working with TNA would have done is let him work ROH. Punk did EVERYTHING possible in ROH except win the Pure title. While the prospect of Punk/Kenta sounds bad-ass, the world will keep spinning.   Speaking of ROH, BJ Whitmer is a legitimate badass motherfucker. After tearing two ligaments and destroyed ankle cartilage last March, he continued working at a high level including two sadistic matches in Cage Of Death and the Barbed Wire match with Necro Butcher…he finally was forced to take surgery. The Summer of ROH was fantastic with the hot Nigel/Danielson matches, emergence of stars like Davey Richards, the CZW/ROH blow off, KENTA performances and the superb Briscoes/Aries and Strong matches. The Glory By Honor V weekend is really packed…it includes but not limited to…   9/15 Danielson Vs Aries KENTA and Marufuji Vs Briscoe Brothers Samoa Joe Vs Roderick Strong Daniels Vs Nigel McGuiness   9/16 KENTA Vs Danielson Strong and Aries Vs Kings Of Wrestling Naomichi Marufuji Vs Nigel McGuiness   SPECIAL GUEST: Bruno Sammantino   With Morishima, Yone and Sugiura in attendence both nights.   Speaking of Independent wrestling, I really need to pimp Cheerleader Melissa/Mschief for putting on a EXCELLENT Falls Count Anywhere match for the SHIMMER promotion. SHIMMER is an exceptional promotion based completely around Woman’s Wrestling.   Personal Life Shit Didn’t think I could go a whole blog without sprinkling some personal life shit, right? Actually, nothing too much to report. School has just been completely fantastic and I’m blown away by how much I’m digging this current semester. It’s not all related to academics though. Another one has come around…   To be honest, I’m sorta growing nervous about it…I haven’t really felt this way since a 18 months ago. Hard to believe it was only 18 months ago…but life sure has changed since then. I’m probably over thinking this too much. This is exactly why I said I wanted to avoid this stuff for the whole semester. I couldn’t go 2 weeks.     It’s funny that I’m stressing about the start of something that might be nothing while in just 7 days, my sister will be married. Next Thursday is the bachelor party. It’s a all day thing of Golf, Reds Game and Strip Club appearance. I don’t get the concept of bachelor party, okay, I do but I think it’s dumb. I don’t need an excuse to see someone dance naked in front of me, that sort of thing loses its appeal (in this context) after the first time. I don’t drink either, so the entire purpose is lost on me but I guess I have to partake because it’s only proper or something, according to my sister.   Jesus, this was really long. Im that bored…that’s enough for now.

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

No Hustler. Bitter losers at TSM.

More stuff…   So I’m not going to take the job at Hustler, just yet. The job offer is permanent, so I’m told. I guess connections (wherever it might be from) have merit after-all. I will just stick with unemployment for now as I’m figuring this semester will be loaded with material.   I’m sure KKK and WP will be disappointed to hear that I won’t have any amusing porn store anecdotes for right now. Sorry, WP, can’t use my existence for your late night imagination.   -   I became addicted to a new TV show over the weekend as I was already deep into school-work. Everwood. On the surface, I always thought the premise of this story was antiquated and hokey but in reality, the show was really good. I’ve only seen the first season for now (My mother had it in her collection) and learning they canceled the show after I discovered it really disappoints me. I looked around and apparently the other seasons haven’t been released yet but I’m already waiting.   It’s a pretty simple show with good characters, interesting plot and I liked how the lead female was a classic girl next door in terms looks. That’s not always the case with TV dramas depicting teenagers. Katie Holmes, Jeanie Garth, Jen Williams, Mischa Barton are hardly “normal” looking girls but this chick     is and not only that, she completely reminds me of my first “love”…so its quite surreal watching the show for the obvious reasons…   The problem with watching shows about the teenage years (the well written ones, that is) that it usually forces you to connect with your own years and you sorta get sad/nostalgic about those days. Every movie or TV show devoted towards the early 20’s is always so god-damn negative and cynical. Maybe I’m crazy, but life isn’t bad. I figure all those movies were the work of people who ignored life and living in high school and are bitter about missing out on life.   A lot of those types are here and they have such scorching hatred for high school and popular society and create a false impression that they were better then it by not being apart of that world, but it’s a lie. Bitterness and contempt for something they could have prevented is unhealthy.   If your life sucked growing up, if you weren’t popular, if you didn’t get the girl…so what? Put it behind you and make it work this time around.   You only get a handful of years to make life worth living…don’t waste it by being bitterly pissed.  

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

Back to school. Fuck day cares. Porno...

The first day of school part…XIV   I remember when the night before the first day of school used to wreck my nervous system. Weighing on my mind was the depression that summer was over and those 3 months of soaking up the sun, playing ball with the boys and swimming non-stop would cease for 9 months. Wondering if the new teachers would like me, and more importantly, did anyone change?   The older we get, the anxiety regarding the first day of school changes. In high school, minus frosh year…the first day didn’t bother me. Unlike when we were kids, you kept in close contract with most of your classmates. School would only present itself as a nuisance in your social life. In high school, my summers were built around two things, baseball, camping and the summer romances. The first day of the school year traditionally signaled the conclusion of those two hallmarks.   Today was the first day of my sophomore year in college and it was the same as always even if I was at a different campus this time around. Faces all look the same and you instantly meet new people.   Some people are bored by the first day activities when you get 2 hour lectures about the policies of each class and the expectations of the course. (Not me) If you are lucky, you’ll get a professor who takes advantage of the small class size and does the hokey “Tell the class about yourself” routine to kill time. No one really ever remembers anything someone says during these things, but it’s almost a perverse requirement to do this.   On Tuesdays and Thursday, I have a short schedule of just two classes. Creative Writing: Short Fiction (The problem is, this is a senior class but I was pushed into it by my advisor and previous English prof‘s recommendation) and Survey of American History.   Creative Writing is precisely what you would expect. Young hipster emo-fag who couldn’t cut it as an actual writer decides to teach it. He seems alright enough and I can tell he isn’t going to be one of those pretentious wannabe Robin Williams in Dead Poets Society assholes. He gets the game and I can respect him enough on that accord.   The important factor of the class besides the absurd easiness of creative writing is the quality of the girls in the class. This can’t be understated. You get the hot English/journalist major chicks who want to hone their skills as writers combined with the dumb blonde seniors taking the class for graduation requirement purposes. Mixed in with a couple fat losers, socially awkward Morrissey loving dorks and that puts me in a good position.   History was a different story though. History isn’t my strong suit and there’s a reason I avoided it my frosh year. This subject always depends on the educator and how they present the concept of History.   I don’t want some fucking textbook pushing fucker that probably has no understanding about anything. I’ll take a history teacher who cuts through bullshit and not shy from his/her opinion. I got the latter in my history professor. There is nothing like a 60 year old bitter lady with a TRUE sense of history to educate you on things outside the textbook. She is obviously a compulsive chain smoker with penchant to recall on her glory days back in the 1960’s. Who knows if I’ll learn anything but it’ll be fun as hell.   M/W/F is basically the boring trio of classes with Anthropology (course requirement), Algebra (another class I avoided last year) and Environmental Geology. These classes will depend on good professors to bring up my interest. The important thing about day one is never the classes but getting a feel for the social climate.   I told myself to avoid the urge to jump into a potential relationship catastrophe for the moment but well, you can’t help it sometimes. Put yourself in a situation surrounded by girls and you can’t avoid it.   I can almost never live up to my word.   I thought I meant it when I said I was going to stay away from a job for at least a couple months but this new opportunity is really enticing.   The job is mine for the taking. Pay isn’t as high as what I’m accustomed to but with the schedule flexibility and the environment I’ll be around makes up for it. Besides, it’s only minutes from school and home. My old job was a 40 minute commute.   It has to be a dream job for a lot of people and what’s funny is, I don’t really care for the stuff but the job just literally fell into my hands.   Oh, the job? Think of a famous person from the Cincinnati area with a history of controversy that didn’t play baseball but knows a lot about balls.   Yeah, that place.   I didn’t want to have to take a job but I feel like I have now since...   My mother, after 10 years of working for the same day care company was laid off last Thursday via “budget issues”. They fired a qualified and experienced employee to replace her with a cheaper and less experienced college transplant.   My mother took the job as a thing of personal passion. She didn’t need the job but she loved little kids and was good at it. I’ve already offered to help out and all that such but she won’t allow it. I think it really broke her spirit because that job was important to her.   It’s bullshit. It isn’t some mass corporation with scumbag execs looking to line their pockets, it’s a fucking day care center and even they can’t get away from fucking politics.   I’m well aware of the fact that I’m typing this at 4 am in the morning and I’d like to pretend I'm up for a reason but there isn't. I do have classes in just a few hours, so that isn’t a wise move on my part but that is sorta the fun of it anyways.   - Pertaining to the forum, I’ve reached the conclusion that this place has and this is a appx. estimate, only 23 people with functioning brains. The rest are running on fumes or died horribly awhile ago. EHME is a prime example.  

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

Since I've been gone...

In case you haven't noticed, I've been rather inactive for the past week or so around these parts and there are reasons for that...but nothing I want to get into just yet.   Other happenings are...   -One week from yesterday will be my final day in the office. As you might recall from a previous entry, I made the decision to go to school full time again passing over a well paying job with potential. A choice I'm assured to regret for awhile. Like everything else in live, politics played a part.   My official title with the company was "Director of Production", which basically means manager of the workforce. I made a healthy income for the past couple months which is monumental for a 20 year old student, I got the job because of politics and because of who I knew. The owner being my father's best friend of many years put me in this seat but I didn't take it for granted and did the job with the utmost integrity as I could. Being handed a job is the worse possible situation in the work environment because it breeds contempt.   Despite having worked shoulder to shoulder with the guys in the shop (another word for factory floor) and busting my ass for the better part of the last 2 years, they still resented me for being young with this position. I had to prove my worth and I think that I accomplished this. I'd like to think my performance would warrant me the ability to select my successor but that isn't the case.   I wanted to appoint a guy who has worked off and on for this company for 15 years and knows everything about it far greater then I ever could imagine. He is generally liked by the office and floor except for one single person and that is the owner. The very same guy who placed an inexperienced 20 year old into a perk spot with his company that he built from the ground up. He feels more inclined to place someone from his secondary company into my seat. I'm very disappointed in this because I promised a man, a husband and father of 3 that this job was his when I leave. Monday morning, I had to inform him that he got passed over and that his many years with the company wasn't enough to satisfy the asshole in charge.   Originally, I planned on sticking with the company on a part-time basis going back to the shop floor but after this situation, I close the door for good with the company.   -I did well enough that I can maintain a regular lifestyle for the next couple months before going back to the work-force. I've been working non-stop for years; I will gladly welcome this break. I don't believe I'll have much difficulty in finding a new line of work. Luckily my now former job presented with experience in a variety of fields. -----------------   I start school in just 12 days. My first collegiate year was rather lackluster but with a newfound motivation and drive, I have high expectations for this upcoming semester.   I've said this many times and it holds true, for any aspiring students not sure about their direction, don't waste time and money on some big school and having your (or parents) pocketbooks gutted. There are a number of community colleges that offer the exact same basic introductory education that you'll receive from any 4 year program.   Or do what I did...attend a regional branch. Most schools have regional campus and they are significantly cheaper and they offer identical education. LLiving at home and commuting might not seem attractive but when you examine the bills I got from Miami (OH) at Oxford and the Middletown regional branch, it was light and day. Attending regional branches doesn't limit your social life by any means.   ---   My sister gets married in exactly 29 days. I'm still not convinced I want the guy to be my brother in law. He's a good guy and all but he's pretty much the equivalent of paint drying. He's an accountant, so I'll appreciate his services in the future regarding my taxes and such. My sister is smart though. She's fairly good looking and never had problems attracting all sorts of guys. I figure she got all the fun out of her system and grabbed onto a guy who isn't going to turn her life into a live episode of COPS and won't sleep around on her and will give her financial happiness.   I love weddings. I just recently attended one over the weekend but being behind the scenes for the preparations for my sister has me seriously contemplating staying single for life. It's bad enough that you feel stressed out but you throw in meddling parents who can't stand each other and disagree on everything and every single possible "disaster" known to man and its fun if you got a front row seat but eventually you'll get thrown into the scene and it's downright ugly.   Drive-thru Wedding Chapels. Seriously, utilize this.   ---   That's all I feel like going into now. Next chapter, learn about my trip to a childhood past, chance meeting with prego friend and my adventures at the auto mall.

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

Break-Up. Weddings. School.

On Wednesday night, while I was standing in the pouring rain looking into her eyes, with the shriek of thousands around me rushing to get away from the deluge…I answered my own question and confirmed my doubts.   She smiled and nodded her head and I took her in and gave her a kiss on the forehead. We didn’t speak to each other for a ½ hour. We just stood in the pouring rain looking out over the river and we finally turned around and headed back to our seats.   It was strange, to break up peacefully. We actually enjoyed the night more this way. A part of me hates that it wasn’t the relationship I dreamt of years ago. I can’t tell what the fault was but I suspect it was just the fact we went into this whole thing trying to fulfill a childhood dream and didn’t realize that it was just that a dream…   It never worked, right from the start. Our schedules alone kept us apart, the spark didn’t extend past that first night of passion (which was just years of tension exploding)…   It’s rare to honestly mean “we’re still friends” but in this instance it is.   The real awkward part is having to see her family again, they are probably more disappointed in the extinction of this relationship then we are.   It’s for the best, really. School is starting in 5 weeks anyways. Miami, home of yuppie hot white pussy. Cool.   School D. Work That’s rightl; I finally came to the decision. I’m taking this really big risk and I’m giving up my cushy well paying office job to go to school full-time.   I could stay on this track and be a top guy before I’m 25 and be making ridiculous money…but it’s not what I want to do.   I said this last time, I can’t be my father.   So, I’m sticking with school. Im going to spend money to get a degree that I’ll probably never use.   Weddings.   This is the wedding season, for me at least. In the next 6 weeks, I’m attending 3 weddings. One for a co-worker, my cousin and my sister.   Obviously the first two are merely “show up” deals but the sister one? That’s big. I’m just an usher, which feels dumb.   I never got weddings, really. I’ve been to over a dozen (I lost count) and probably 2-4 of them are still active.   It’s just another excuse for getting drunk and that means nothing to me. However, watching my grandmother get trashed is worth at least an hour of amusement.   Reds.   So, the Reds are actually still in contention as we near the trade-deadling. On March 1st, I never would have imagined we’d be in this place. Playoffs or no playoffs, I’m exicted to know that for the first time in awhile, it appears we got an intelligent GM and owner that gives a fuck.    

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

CITR. Depression. Baseball.

I’m sitting here in the dark with nothing except the glow of this screen and the sound of some random infomercial keeping my mind from lapsing into a blank state.   Supposedly, I have to be at work in 3 ½ hours and I believe I will be there because that is what I do. Im not remotely tired by any means. I tried to sleep not so long ago but it took me nowhere. By my count, I’ve slept 10 hours in the last 5 days. I’ve done less in longer stretches of time so I’m used to this, a insomniac you could call me.   Ever notice you aren’t happy during these hours? That’s because everything is shut down, except for your biggest distraction, your own mind. That is running at full speed.   You try to avoid the self analyzing conversation by listening to music, flipping around 1850 channels and realizing that nothing is on and nothing is just a repeat. You might even read a book.   I picked up this book and I read the first 30 pages and I observed the notes written in the margins (me at 14, when I first read this fucking book) but I realized, this is a depressing ass book. (Why wouldn’t it be) no wonder so many fuckin’ dumb teens love this book. So I put it back on the shelf.     I hate the summer. Life reaches the absolute peak of misery. The suffocation of the summer night creeping right up through the floorboards and the long endless hours just fucking torture you. How can anyone find this stupid season endearing. It made sense as a child, we didn’t know any better and we got 12 weeks off school.   What’s so great about summer now? I remember summer used to mean swimming every day, flirting with random girls at the local hang-out spot and then long nights and late mornings. I still stand that SUMMER OF 15 is the most exciting time of our lives and nothing can beat that. That summer was everything to me, before it changed. That is truly our final chapter of our adolescence because it’s from there, everything becomes serious.     Summer of 20 sucks. I work so damn much because I was too stupid to turn down a good offer. I surrendered most of my social connections and my relationship as of right now is bordering on the line of extinction and I’m not even bothered by that.   This is a girl, I dreamt about as a horny kid. My earliest masturbatory fantasy and now that I pulled this thing off, Im not really involved in this. We try to convince ourselves that it’s just a matter of bad timing but within us, we’re well aware of the fact it’s just not there as much as we had hoped it could be.   So a fantasy is ruined. That’s why It’s always a mistake to end up with that first crush of your life. Why ruin something like that? I think we’ll probably keep this charade up until school starts and we’ll slide apart. I’m secure that we’ll remain friends as we were before.   A few entries ago, I had mentioned that I was going to be weighing my options about my job and my scholastic adventures. I hate my job but I’m not stupid, This pays really good and it’s fairly easy for a guy like me with my skills.   However, I don’t want to become my father. I respect the hell out of him. He’s a good hard working honest guy, with a tremendous heart and has always been the life of a party. So obviously, aside from looks…I’m nothing like him. I made it easy for myself, I’m a dick and I hate people. However, we each were standing in the exact same spot at age 20 except he was already married.   He left school to provide for his wife and family. He had his reasons and in his eyes, I can see he regrets that. If I leave school for good, what would it be for? More money and nothing else. Is that honorable?   I got about 6 more weeks to hammer down and make this decision. Either way, I lose.   In other not-so depressing aspects of the world, The MLB Mid-season has arrived and I’m stunned the local franchise isn’t in their usual fire-sale mode right now as the old group of morons finally left town (figuratively speaking) and some competent people took over. It’s startling. 1999 was a fluke season for me but I actually feel like this new regime really intends to create a winning ball-club. I’m still I’ll be crushed sooner or later but the feeling of hope is a nice one. I mean after-all, the god damn BENGALS turned things around.     The World Cup has finally ended, so Americans can resume not giving a shit about the real FOOTBALL for another 4 years. What will we take out of this whole experience? Shitty referees and a “icon” (So I’m told) going spastic on the biggest stage of them all. Why don’t we like this sport, again? It reeks of Americanism.

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

New cars and beard history.

Update time   +Work is still the same. I was expecting it to finally hit me with some wave of panic but its been a steady ride so far, despite some trouble within the corporate structure itself.   +On the relationship front? Its getting stagnate already and that’s because of the routine we are forced to deal with. These “lunch dates” aren’t doing it for us anymore so when we do take our trip later in July, it’ll be very much welcomed. I know it doesn’t make sense, but we live 30 minutes apart and she works the night shift…but I happen to work a mere 5 miles from her house…so we just have lunch “dates”…as I said in the previous update…thing will change (for the better) once school starts for us.   +My father, (I don’t know if I have mentioned him before or not) finally got a hair-cut this afternoon. This is monumental because it was the first time in 6 years he cut his hair (and that was just at the request of his dying mother, just weeks before her passing).   It’s beyond awkward. I’ve always known him to have obscenely long hair but now that he is reaching the gray hair stage of life, he hacks it off all for a purpose that he resents. (his daughter’s wedding).   I have had only one similar experience to this and that was with my beard back in 2003. For 11 months, I never brought a razor to my face (which is topped by clean shaved head). It had become my identity around town, I had the Mountain man beard, as opposed to the hobo beard. I finally cut it off for reasons I don’t recall but I remember the shock of seeing my bare face for the first time in 11 months. I was almost paralyzed in fear.   Since then, I’ve grown out my hair and kept it at acceptable business style length and kept the beard neatly trimmed because it is in the opinion of many that I am just downright better looking with stubble-ish beard as opposed to the clean shaved or mountain beard deal.   +I am buying a new car in September. In 5 years of driving, I have owned 3 cars...   My first car, was a hand me down from my uncle 1993 Chevy Lumina. I was 15 and still running on the temps, when he was going to junk the car but I asked if I could have it so I wouldn't have to buy my own car right away once I got my license. He handed me the keys...   I used the car only as practice for 6 months and I never had any personal attachment towards it. Once I had my license, I kept that car for 3 more months until I bowed down to peer pressure and sold it for a measly $800 bucks and then I brought this...1999 Dodge Avenger. I loved this car as it looked good, drove good and had a fantastic sound system already installed.   I kept this car for 2 years and loved driving it but I agreed to help my sister out after her car blew up and instead of making her buy a new car(she could barely pay for college), I gave her my car and brought a 2002 F-150 lightning   I have driven this truck ever since and I'm going to keep it as my company vehicle (as the one we have is old anyways and they are basically buying it off me)...so I don't know what to get.   I don't want another truck for all the obvious reasons as well as just plain tired of driving one. I'm looking towards another mid-size car like the first two but they weren't good on gas mileage (which wasn't a concern for me then, but is now) but I refuse to get one of those generic Camry's or whatever.   I'll keep you updated on the car hunt status.

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

RUDO. Idiot at work. Love.

Random Thoughts   -Idiot co-worker   !!!   Pretty frustrating, last Thursday I met with a well known cereal company about doing a job for them and everything was on board and ready to go and we were to start production in early august for it. I sent the rep to our sales exec to finalize it.   I come in on Friday morning and I’m told we lost the account. This was a HUGE account and the old fuck we have as our sales exec fumbled the ball on the 1 yard line.   It happens though, you don’t get them all but I pissed because I gave a great pitch all for nothing.   All the asshole had to say was “We’ll get the next one, trust me”.   Fuck you Old timer. You can’t do your fucking job.   -Making it work   I hate not having time for a relationship now that I am actually in one that I want to be in. The previous relationships were us constantly together and that was nice but now I really want to be with my current GF but since I work mornings and afternoons with her working nights as a hostess…obviously our time is limited. We usually meet once a day for lunch together. 90 minutes isn’t enough. Luckily, I’m taking a week vacation soon and we’ll probably escape there and catch up on lost time.   I guess, this is one of those “growing up” things that KKK talks about…when relationships can’t be a constant state of Puppy Love.   -RUDO ON ECW     The ECW stuff has been a complete joke. From the start of the entire idea of the re-birth.   Rudo, nailed it last night. The only thing interesting about the PPV was the crowd and you can get that at any ROH or Indy show. You won’t get that crowd night in and night out.   WWE is being raped by Sci-Fi already. THEY DON’T WANT TO BE WITH WRESTLING.   Remember the last time a network didn’t want ECW? The WWE name helps slightly but not enough.   I can’t fathom how they expected this to work after conceptualizing the idea just 2 months ago. You can’t launch a huge rebirth in that short time frame.   It’ll never work. It’ll be as irrelevant as Smackdown only with a couple smark orientated angles from Heyman to appease his fan base.   Last night just shows It’ll be the same style with a different name slapped on it.   People want to call RUDO a negative minded person, but not what he really is. A open eyed person. Does he nit-pick? Sure. He pays attention to details, which isn't allowed in the minds of the mutants who have spawned again in the fake rebirth.   -DO FIXER Vs BLOOD GENERATION   This is deserving of the praise it has gotten from Meltzer and the rave reviews from across the net.   Just superb.

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

CiCi's, clay, teeth and Samoa Joe.

CiCi’s   - I think I expressed my hatred for this place once, in KKK’s blog. In case you are lucky enough to not have one of these fucking rattraps in your neighborhood, CiCi’s is a low-rent cheap pizza buffet resturant designed for the legions of soccer mom’s and their brat kids.   Granted, I’ll give credit to the creators of this place because it was a bang-up idea to force fed a endless supply of crappy pizza in various forms ranging from the standard selections to things like Chili and chedder, Tuna fish (yea, you read that) and a chocolate chip pizza. Just think of a nasty pizza combonation and they have it.   I always avoid this place, I don’t care if it is only $3.99 for unlimited buffet. The pizza, (the normal kind I would eat) are cardboard with putrid sauce and the cheese tastes dated…combine that horror with a throng of brats running around hopped on sugar playing wack-a-mole and leaving piles of crusts on the plates. I feel sorry for the poor Mexicans forced to clean the dishes and such.   Anyways, I’ve only been there 4 times before. The first time out of curiosity and the others I was dragged to. Such as this afternoon.   I had only worked ½ a day, since I was ahead of schedule, I planned on just meeting with my gf and going out to lunch with her and such, but she informed me that her little cousin turned 7 today and her family was meeting @ CiCi’s for her party.   This would be the first family function with her as her official boyfriend, while I’ve known them for years…it becomes a whole different game now…so It was in the environment of the place I hate above all else and a bunch of fucking kids.   I grinned through it, putting on my best face. I had two slices of crummy pepperoni and left it at that. I actually didn’t mind conversing with her family but I swear my stomach was plotting doom against me for putting that lethal poison inside me.   I survived the event, gave her a ride to her work (she’s a hostess at a Italian resturant that I can’t even pronounce and of course, works til midnight) and I vowed to my stomach that I would NEVER EVER inject that shit into me again.   I warn you, if you haven’t been there before…and you start getting curious…just pass. Fucking pass. Trust me.   -   "Work".   Heh. Actually I’m really getting into the whole “Boss” thing. I haven’t fucked up yet, which surprises me because aren’t things supposed to go wrong at first.   The only problem is that my best workers, had some nerve damage to his gums and had to have surgery to take out his teeth. So basically, he has no teeth right now and can’t be fitted for replacements for another 2-3 months.   It’s not that hard to work with him despite his difficulty with speaking but he’s having trouble. He’s physically weakened from all the painkillers and treatment they have shoved into him and that is where my concern lies.   He’ll have to keep taking this medication until they replace them…He’s getting behind but not enough that I can’t cover for him but I know I can’t have him missing time for the next 2-3 months on a consistant basis.   Aside from his current condidtion, he’s the best guy I got since he knows the stuff inside and out.   I’ll give him a couple weeks to adjust to the physical change. He should have my job, really. I don’t do that much physical stuff anymore. I’d rather be in the field working it, but the paycheck differential changes my tune rather swiftly.   -   Sports.   Hockey. I don’t get OLN, so I’ve been missing out on the playoffs, which is a shame because I actually enjoy playoff hockey more then I do playoff basketball but since I can see every team in the NBA on a regular basis and follow the season…it’s easier to get into it…   That make sense? Anyways, my point is I wish I could see the games. I just don’t get why NHL agreed to a network with such low visibility. Didn’t Spike offer a deal?   Basketball.   I’m not really a fan of any of the 3 remaining teams but I am thoroughly enjoying this post-season as it’s certaintly been the best post-season I can recall in my life-time.   It seems like it’ll conclude with Miami Vs Dallas. This was probably (after Miami/Lakers), the network’s dream match-up. You got star power with Shaq/Wade/Riley Vs Dirk/Cuban and it escapes the NJ/SA/Detroit trap of ratings death.   Both teams are tremendously popular, although Miami more times then not bores me (aside from Wade).   Dallas is just fun to watch, and so is PHX. I’d love to see the Suns bump off Shaq and go into Curt Henning circa 1990 all over the court. I’m talking 360 flips and somersaults.   Tennis.   Okay, Maybe I’m a rarity but I like the “FRENCH OPEN” as America has so nicely dumbed the name down for our understanding. I dig the whole clay court stuff. It’s just different from the normal thing. I wouldn’t want to see it all-year long but it’s good to see different styles and methods every once in awhile.   Wrestling.   Are we supposed to be excited about ECW revival? I’m not, It already has mistake written all over it. There’s still way to much McMahonisms going into this deal that completely forces me to be reluctant.   Smackdown is a wasteland right now, yet despite the chaos…it’s still more entertaining then Raw.   I guess we’ll be having the SS debate for the next 6 months and no one will ever change their stance. It’s sort of like a smaller scale Bret/Shawn deal.   I recently ordered the remaining editions of the ROH MILESTONE SERIES (Better then Our Best and 100th Show), I finished 4YA and Arena Warfare and Best in the World. Dragon Date Challenge and Supercard of Honor is on the horizon.   Best in the World, was just flat out superb. The tag main event of Joe/Danielson Vs KENTA and Marufuji, Strong/Evans Vs Briscoes were tag team wrestling with two very different styles.   I loved the SHIMMER match, as it’s refreshing to see good american women’s wrestling. Martinez, Haze, Danger and Lacey were very enjoyable along with being attractive, so it’s the best of both worlds so to speak. Although, Lacey was the weak link of the group.   The main event really sets things up for the Danielson/KENTA title match that is all but likely to occur in August and of course, Joe/Danielson II. The first match in ROH for the title was greatly underlooked thanks to being overshadowed by JvPII 2 weeks later.   Just a quick side note   My Top Ten Samoa Joe Matches 1. Joe Vs CM Punk- Joe Vs Punk II 2. Joe Vs Kenta Kobashi- Joe/Kobashi 3. Joe Vs AJ Styles Vs Christopher Daniels-Unbreakable 4. Joe Vs CM Punk-All Star Extravaganza II 5. Joe Vs Bryan Danielson- Midnight Express Reunion 6. Joe Vs Austin Aries-Final Battle 04 7. Joe and Lethal Vs Homicide and Low Ki-Nowhere to Run 8. Joe Vs Necro Butcher-Something to Prove 9. Joe Vs Chris Sabin-No Surrender 10. Joe Vs AJ Styles- Sacrifice   The show always included a solid Yang/Rave and Daniels/Shelley match-up, but over-all this show is just setting up the next four shows which went to an whole new level. If you are looking to start with ROH, you need to start with the Milestone series. Right now, ROH is having a Buy 3 Get 1 Free sale, which means you can get all 7 shows for merely $120 bucks and toss in an extra DVD and there’s a lot of quality to get and not just ROH shows but Straight Shootings with a host of big names and the Secrets of the Ring series with Raven, which he goes into through details about the psychological aspects of working, the politics, how to format a match and structure it to the crowd. It’s a different style from the standard shoot programs and Raven goes into EXPLICT details on how he designed the Dreamer, Sandman and Punk storylines from the ideas to the actual execution.   I strongly rec’d the Raven SOTR series, because it’s quite informative, intelligent and often times, flat out funny.

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

A Take on the Music Industry

"You've got to accept that results take time. If you're not in it for the long haul, you're going to be frustrated and give up.   "To open your heart to someone means exposing the scars of the past."   There's no sensation like having your heart warm up as you involuntarily start singing a song.   The rest of the world falls away. It's just you, your best self, reveling in how fucking great it is to be alive.   In this world with so many delights.In an era of loneliness, the musicians, the players, they're there for each other. They might not be rich in dollars, but in friendships, they're BILLIONAIRES!   Music is dope. Sell it that way. Get people hooked so they won't let go. One hopes to make music that will last forever. Ironically, you can only do this if you forget the future and do what feels right now.   If you're not testing the limits, life isn't worth living. Artistry is not something that can be quantified. Nor is it something that can be learned. Artists are born. And are developed outside the educational system.   Make music the hottest entertainment medium once again, not a national JOKE! It was because of the SOUND! It soothed us, it opened doors in our mind, it INSPIRED us. Then you hear a song and everything is right in the world.   Artistry. It's something innate, something that comes from within. It must be NURTURED, not KILLED!   Test the limits, touch people's souls, then you're an artist. Music has been around since the dawn of time, and will continue to exist, great records will be made. It's just that today music is not where it's at.   Singing songs to stay alive. Nobody really leaves home anymore. Nobody takes a risk. The concept of starting a new life on a whim, it doesn't even enter their brain. But that's what the old rock stars did. In patched together automobiles they made their way. Like a giant summer camp, musicians lived in different houses and journeyed to their friends' cabins, to hang out, get high and sing. There were no news crews. Not even any record companies at first. It was about lifestyle, not fame. And with this genesis, with the sixties values as a backdrop, the most enduring music of the rock era was created. Where's the music scene today? Where's the community of like-minded musicians in it for the tunes rather than the bucks? In an era where the buck is king. Everything's so sold out/whored out that there's no belief involved. It's just endless product. That is essentially meaningless. And without meaning, you've got no hooks, nothing to stick to the audience. Connecting with other people.   That's the guts of MySpace too, People want to meet others, they want to flirt, want to exchange information.   Where is the control in the music business? The music business is one way. We concoct it, you buy it, FUCK YOU! It's like the entire business missed it, the Internet revolution.   There's a community as strong as there was in Laurel Canyon, it's just virtual.   As for the acts exhibiting their wares on MySpace and other places on the Web, they've been exposed to twenty five years of MTV, they're experts on exploitation, but light on soul. The sale precedes the tune. Imaging is key. Everybody's got a business plan, nobody is growing his talent.   'Completely let go of the past, depended on it,Be ready to reinvent yourself. Live on absolutely nothing, knowing that all you've got is your experiences, and that your physical assets don't really count'   Don't feel bad if you don't get today's music. It doesn't have what the old tunes did. It doesn't have a sense of adventure, a sense of limit-testing, a sense of JOY! Because it's coming from a different place. It's hard to create a scene today. Because as soon as you've got a flame, the press fans it into a conflagration, and then it burns out almost instantly. You'd think the record companies would finally understand. Chasing the buck, they run acts up the flagpole and overexpose them again and again and again. Nothing is allowed to grow.   Acts are not allowed to percolate, growing their base a fan at a time.   And if you don't make the kind of music that's easily sold, if you're not willing to play ball with the corporate behemoth, you don't get to play at all.   Unlike in the late sixties and the early seventies, the act is not king, but the label. And the label likes this, feels entitled, for risk is anathema to these corporate entities. And, as delineated above, risk is primary to great art.   We all want something to believe in, something to live for. I ask you, with endless conventions, books about how to make it, institutionalized success paths, who can get excited?   Not only not the talent, but the audience either. Isn't it funny that everything kids get excited about is on the Web, built by their peers and populated with content they've created? And isn't it fascinating that the corporate behemoths have missed this every stop of the way, and can only get in by buying sites that could die tomorrow? You'd think MTV would own music on the Web, but with a corporate commercial viewpoint, the music video channel missed it. It's clear that the old days, the old systems are done. The structures are decaying, they're empty.   A new world is being built by young 'uns the same way young 'uns built the music scene in the last century, stealing the whole business from old farts.   I can't tell you what's coming. But I can tell you what we've got now is dead. Kaput."   Music Died. The thread in the music forum defined that in the lack of a movement other then niche cores and heartless corporate empires.    

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

Work. Just nothingness.

I’ve mentioned before about my job and my recent promotion as head of the assembly crew. If you recall, I was once just a meager worker on that crew until the company did some shuffling and assigned me as the new head of that crew. Since the crew was shuffled around, it was basically just me left standing. I hired 4 “new” (as in former laid off employees) and a couple rookie punks that work for free (part of school credit).   What we do is simply this; we design, build, customize and assemble conveyors of all sorts to various major corporations. My specific job is to assemble the conveyors @ our home site and the company we build for gives it the approval and then we dismantle weeks of work to pack it up and then my crew goes to their HQ’s, warehouses, fields and whatnot and re-assemble it. Yeah, hardly what I expected to be doing @ 20 years old when I started HS. I make good money though, so hooray.   Anyways, here is the point of the back story explaining the purpose of my job (I’m a detail whore). This morning I had a “big” meeting with some rep’s from a big name corporation (let’s say it rhymes with Mineral Metric). This was new for me, I’ve done meetings on sites but never as a direct reprehensive of my company, and even the home field advantage wasn’t helping me.   It’s no big secret why I got the gig; the boss is my father’s best friend. He had seen me as his son for years. People think that shit is an advantage…It’s not. It just means I got to work double and bust my ass harder to prove I earn my wages. Now that I’m a suit, I can make more $ and do ¼ of that work.   So I’m sitting there, bored out of my mind listening to this moron fuck babble about design changes he wanted to implement and during his diatribe, his cell phone goes off. (Fucking piece of shit). He doesn’t rush to end the very important conversation with whoever the fuck it was (his tax attorney or mistress, im guessing. Maybe a little of both). Finally, after I masquerade through a bullshit grin and false “Oh, It’s okay” sincerity, we hammer down and I basically bullshitted him into agreeing to do what I had planned to do with the job in the first place but he talked forever and walked out feeling like god thinking he turned me. Whatever, douche bag.   So I take the original and new prints (same one, but don’t let him know that) and I gather my crew up and we go over it. Here is where I get pissed, my rookie trainees were completely into the prints, asking questions and throwing out suggestions. While a couple of the older “new” guys were basically tuning me out, I get that they know this shit pretty well and have heard it all before. I was in their shoes not so long ago. I’m sure it has to suck being middle age, with wife and kids and taking orders from a punk ass 20 year old college student. Tough shit, you want to pay your mortgage? Either pay attention to me, or grovel to get your previous piece of shit job you slaved for lesser pay back.   I’m a good boss, I think. I listen, pay proper credit to the ones deserving, I haven’t fucked anyone over (yet)…So I’m not sure if this is a reaction to working for me or they just couldn’t give a shit about this job. They should be appreciative, I didn’t have to hire them. I could have loaded up with a bunch of Mexicans and got the job done dirt cheap, but I wasn’t going to account for missing drive engines, steel beams and Flex-Link chains.   This was all before lunch, and we were going to dive into that job this afternoon and to motivate them, I treated them to lunch at Applebee’s and expensed it. I left the “vets” to do the jobs, while I took the trainees out to our housing facility and showed them the previous job we had done for that company, to show them how it operates and all that jazz. They were thoroughly involved, taking notes, questions. I appreciated that, they aren’t even getting paid and they cared more about this job then the overpriced fucks I left at the shop.   The moral? It is my belief that the less $ you make, (or none at all), the harder you work.   ---   Other world stuff…   I was going to mention this in the thread about it in the LSD fourm, but I figured WP gayed it up enough.   after all that bullshit…the boyfriend was cheating on her for the last couple months. She was actually in a committed stance. Typical…BF accuses the gf of cheating, when it was really him all along.   I still would like to know the purpose of his tirade against me though. I wasn’t worried before, and I guess now it’s behind me for good now.   Before anyone makes the assumption that the ex will work her way back towards me. She isn’t going to. Besides, like I’ve said all along…I wouldn’t do it anyways. Especially now.

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

I love the world

It might stand, right now as the best weekend of the year for me. In fact, it was. Without any doubt in my mind, I'll remember the weekend of May 20/21 for quite some time.   How often does a childhood crush come to fruition when you least expected it(observe the thread in LSD regarding my ex and her boyfriend)? I hadn't expected it to occur but I'm glad I did. How often do you find the girl that everyone always said was the one for you, and you knew it all along but it never could happen and you let it go by and you moved on.   I spent all day with her saturday, embracing the sun with her friends and her family. I don't know what led to this, it just happened with a kiss that sent a pop bang shot through my heart.   There are different kinds of kisses, that kiss was the kind of kiss that blows you away. The kind of kiss that is 100x better then some worthless fuck, the type of kiss that lingers physically and emotionally for awhile.   She is away on vacation right now and I'm already counting the days til I see her again and start something, that will probably define not only myself, her but my childhood and my future to come.   I spent the last few months feeling down because of two girls that made me down. One girl cheated on me (something that has been covered well enough here) and the other girl, who was my best friend and I guess in some ways, still is but losing her questioned my will to give "love" another try.   Things have a way of working out for you, if you let it happen.   You can be a worthless loser like WP's gimmick and always think about it, but never actually do anything. He'll never know moments like this weekend, he'll never realize that a stripper is paid to flirt and smile at him. He can try to play Freud and analyze my relationships but he can't talk about something he never been through. WP, might be able to analyze a wrestling match to intricate details but he can't speak on love or anything remotely similar to it.   I'd rather actually do the real thing, feel the realness with the chill down her spine sending her into shivers.      

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

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