Memorable film quotes

[Guest I Got Banned for Sucking]

"No, 'Through the Looking Glass'. That poem, 'The Walrus and the Carpenter', that's an indictment of organized religion. The walrus, with his girth and his good nature, he obviously represents either Buddha, or... or with his tusk, the Hindu elephant god, Lord Ganesha. That takes care of your Eastern religions. Now the carpenter, which is an obvious reference to Jesus Christ, who was raised a carpenter's son, he represents the Western religions. Now in the poem, what do they do... what do they do? They... They dupe all these oysters into following them and then proceed to shuck and devour the helpless creatures en masse. I don't know what that says to you, but to me it says that following these faiths based on mythological figures ensure the destruction of one's inner-being. Organized religion destroys who we are by inhibiting our actions... by inhibiting our decisions, out of... out of fear of some... some intangible parent figure who... who shakes a finger at us from thousands of years ago and says... and says, "Do it... Do it and I'll fuckin' spank you!"

 

-Matt Damon as Loki the Gregorian in Kevin Smith's Dogma - 1999.

 

"Why shouldn't I work for the N.S.A.? That's a tough one, but I'll give it a shot. Say I'm working at N.S.A. Somebody puts a code on my desk, something nobody else can break. So I take a shot at it and maybe I break it. And I'm real happy with myself, 'cause I did my job well. But maybe that code was the location of some rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East. Once they have that location, they bomb the village where the rebels were hiding and fifteen hundred people I never had a problem with get killed. Now the politicians are sayin', "Send in the marines to secure the area" 'cause they don't give a shit. It won't be their kid over there, gettin' shot. Just like it wasn't them when their number was called, 'cause they were pullin' a tour in the National Guard. It'll be some guy from Southie takin' shrapnel in the ass. And he comes home to find that the plant he used to work at got exported to the country he just got back from. And the guy who put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job, 'cause he'll work for fifteen cents a day and no bathroom breaks. Meanwhile my buddy from Southie realizes the only reason he was over there was so we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price. And of course the oil companies used the skirmish to scare up oil prices so they could turn a quick buck. A cute little ancillary benefit for them but it ain't helping my buddy at two-fifty a gallon. And naturally they're takin' their sweet time bringin' the oil back, and maybe even took the liberty of hiring an alcoholic skipper who likes to drink martinis and play slalom with the icebergs, and it ain't too long 'til he hits one, spills the oil and kills all the sea life in the North Atlantic. So my buddy's out of work and he can't afford to drive, so he's got to walk to the job interviews, which sucks 'cause the shrapnel in his ass is givin' him chronic hemorrhoids. And meanwhile he's starvin' 'cause every time he tries to get a bite to eat the only blue plate special they're servin' is North Atlantic scrod with Quaker State. So what do I think? I'm holdin' out for somethin' better. Why not just shoot my buddy, take his job and give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe and join the National Guard? I could be elected president."

 

Matt Damon as Will Hunting in Gus Van Sant's Good Will Hunting - 1997.

 

Join in!

[Guest thebigjig]

bastard! I was going to post a similar thread yesterday but I forgot!

 

anyway... speaking of Kevin Smith

 

"You know, there's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you" - Silent Bob, Clerks

 

I hate the movie... but I LOVE that line

[Downhome 0]

*ahem*

 

"Stand back boy, this calls for divine intervention. I kick ass for the Lord!"

[the max 0]

Reg: You cheap sonofabitch. Those guys are retards.

McGrath: I got a good deal on those boys. Scout said they showed a lot of promise.

Reg: They brought their fuckin' TOYS with 'em!

[The Mandarin 0]

What's better than--

 

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

[notJames 0]

We named the dog Indiana.

[eiker_ir 0]

- Dante: 37! my girfriend sucked 37 dicks!

 

- guy: in a row?

 

Clerks

 

 

 

- WHAT THE FUCK is the internet?

 

- J&SBSB

[Youth N Asia 0]

*ahem*

 

"Stand back boy, this calls for divine intervention. I kick ass for the Lord!"

Kung Fu Priest > God

 

Clerks:

 

Dante: "My girlfriend sucked 37 dicks!"

Customer: "In a row?!"

 

Full Metal Jacket, SGT Hartman:

 

"You had best unfuck yourself or I will unscrew your head and shit down your neck!"

 

"God has a hard on for marines, because we kill everything we see."

 

"I admire your honesty. Hell, I like you, you can come over to my house and fuck my sister!"

 

"I bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass, and not even have the god damned common courtesy to give him a reach around."

 

R. Lee Ermey is the man

[2GOLD 0]

Nada: I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum.

 

and

 

Nada: Momma don't like no tattle tales.

 

-"They Live" in case you didn't know.

[Guest Fook]

More Full Metal Jacket:

 

"How tall are you private?"

"Five foot nine, sir!"

"I didn't know they stacked shit that high!"

 

"Wipe that stupid lookin' grin off your face or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull fuck you!"

[Downhome 0]

*ahem*

 

"Stand back boy, this calls for divine intervention. I kick ass for the Lord!"

Kung Fu Priest > God

 

[DerangedHermit 0]

Lou Brown: Come on, you're not going to let her get you down, are you? You guys won last year just to spite her. Maybe, she's what we need.

Jake Taylor: Oh, Skip, they were a different team last year.

Lou Brown: Taylor, it's not your job to make excuses. that's all you guys do good. it's either a leg thing or a spiritual thing, or a psychological thing, or a heart attack.

Jake Taylor: Who used heart attack?

Lou Brown: Me. (collapses from a heart attack)

 

and...... V

[Guest Mosaicv2]

"Whos LAUGHIN now?!"

 

or

 

"Groovy"

 

from Evil Dead II: Dead By Dawn

 

"Just like Winnie the Pooh"

 

Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back

[Kaertos 0]

From Rounders

"In the poker game of life, women are the rake... they are the f*ckin' rake."

 

From The 13th Warrior

"Do we have anything resembling a plan?"

"Yes. Ride 'till we find them, kill them all."

[Guest Mosaicv2]

others ones:

 

"Im not goin to hurt you... im just goin to BASH your brains in!"

 

The Shining

 

"By the way... the time sucked ass"

 

Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back

[Henry Spencer 0]

"Wait a minute, why do I have to be Mr. Pink?"

"Because you're a faggot, alright?"

- Reservior Dogs

[justsoyouknow 0]

What's better than--

 

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

That's my personal favorite. When asked in front of my sociology class whether or not I had a personal quote, that's what I said. The teacher then looked at me funny.

 

"If you were lucky enough to still have your life, take it and leave. But if you lost limbs...leave them. They belong to me now."

 

Kill Bill

[The Metal Maniac 0]

"Oh, that's right Pvt. Pyle! Don't make any fucking effort to get to the top of the obstacle! If God had wanted you up there, He'd have miracled your ass up there by now, wouldn't He?" - Full Metal Jacket

 

"It was gorgeousness and gorgosity made flesh." - A Clockwork Orange

 

"I can't buy a pack of smokes without running into nine guys you fucked!" - Boondock Saints

[BlackFlagg 0]

"What are those things coming out of her nose?"

"Spaceballs!"

"Oh shit....there goes the planet."

 

 

 

(Monty walks into the bathroom. He looks in the mirror. In the bottom corner, someone's written Fuck You!)

Monty: Yeah, fuck you, too.

Monty's Reflection: Fuck me? Fuck you! Fuck you and this whole city and everyone in it.

Fuck the panhandlers, grubbing for money, and smiling at me behind my back.

Fuck squeegee men dirtying up the clean windshield of my car. Get a fucking job!

Fuck the Sikhs and the Pakistanis bombing down the avenues in decrepit cabs, curry steaming out their pores and stinking up my day. Terrorists in fucking training. Slow the fuck down!

Fuck the Chelsea boys with their waxed chests and pumped up biceps. Going down on each other in my parks and on my piers, jingling their dicks on my Channel 35.

Fuck the Korean grocers with their pyramids of overpriced fruit and their tulips and roses wrapped in plastic. Ten years in the country, still no speaky English?

Fuck the Russians in Brighton Beach. Mobster thugs sitting in cafés, sipping tea in little glasses, sugar cubes between their teeth. Wheelin' and dealin' and schemin'. Go back where you fucking came from!

Fuck the black-hatted Chassidim, strolling up and down 47th street in their dirty gabardine with their dandruff. Selling South African apartheid diamonds!

Fuck the Wall Street brokers. Self-styled masters of the universe. Michael Douglas, Gordon Gecko wannabe mother fuckers, figuring out new ways to rob hard working people blind. Send those Enron assholes to jail for fucking life! You think Bush and Cheney didn't know about that shit? Give me a fucking break! Tyco! Imclone! Adelphia! Worldcom!

Fuck the Puerto Ricans. 20 to a car, swelling up the welfare rolls, worst fuckin' parade in the city. And don't even get me started on the Dom-in-i-cans, because they make the Puerto Ricans look good.

Fuck the Bensonhurst Italians with their pomaded hair, their nylon warm-up suits, and their St. Anthony medallions. Swinging their, Jason Giambi, Louisville slugger, baseball bats, trying to audition for the Sopranos.

Fuck the Upper East Side wives with their Hermés scarves and their fifty-dollar Balducci artichokes. Overfed faces getting pulled and lifted and stretched, all taut and shiny. You're not fooling anybody, sweetheart!

Fuck the uptown brothers. They never pass the ball, they don't want to play defense, they take fives steps on every lay-up to the hoop. And then they want to turn around and blame everything on the white man. Slavery ended one hundred and thirty seven years ago. Move the fuck on!

Fuck the corrupt cops with their anus violating plungers and their 41 shots, standing behind a blue wall of silence. You betray our trust!

Fuck the priests who put their hands down some innocent child's pants. Fuck the church that protects them, delivering us into evil. And while you're at it, fuck JC! He got off easy! A day on the cross, a weekend in hell, and all the hallelujahs of the legioned angels for eternity! Try seven years in fuckin Otisville, Jay!

Fuck Osama Bin Laden, Alqueda, and backward-ass, cave-dwelling, fundamentalist assholes everywhere. On the names of innocent thousands murdered, I pray you spend the rest of eternity with your seventy-two whores roasting in a jet-fueled fire in hell. You towel headed camel jockeys can kiss my royal, Irish ass!

Fuck Jacob Elinski, whining malcontent.

Fuck Francis Xavier Slaughtery, my best friend, judging me while he stares at my girlfriend's ass.

Fuck Naturel Rivera. I gave her my trust and she stabbed me in the back. Sold me up the river. Fucking bitch.

Fuck my father with his endless grief, standing behind that bar. Sipping on club soda, selling whiskey to firemen and cheering the Bronx Bombers.

Fuck this whole city and everyone in it. From the row houses of Astoria to the penthouses on Park Avenue. From the projects in the Bronx to the lofts in Soho. From the tenements in Alphabet City to the brownstones in Park slope to the split levels in Staten Island. Let an earthquake crumble it. Let the fires rage. Let it burn to fuckin ash then let the waters rise and submerge this whole, rat-infested place.

Monty: No. No, fuck you, Montgomery Brogan. You had it all and then you threw it away, you dumb fuck!

(He takes a breath and tries to rub away the words.)

 

Best...Rant...EVER!

[Guest thebigjig]

what is that rant from??

[BlackFlagg 0]

25th Hour

[Guest Anglesault]

Oh, come ON!

 

I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse

 

Look how they massacred my boy

 

-Vito Corleone

[Guest thebigjig]

25th Hour

thats right... now I remember. thanks

[Guest thebigjig]

Oh, come ON!

 

I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse

 

Look how they massacred my boy

 

-Vito Corleone

"I know it was you Fredo... you broke my heart... you broke my heart"

[Guest ShamRock]

Best...Rant...EVER!

No doubt about it and a very good movie too.

 

Murray: What are you doing Derek? This is your family.

Derek Vinyard: Right, my family so you know what? I don't give two shits about you or anyone else or what they think. You're not a part of it and you never will be.

Murray: That has nothing to do with it!

Derek Vinyard: Oh it doesn't? You don't think I see what you're trying to do here? You think I'm gonna sit here and smile while some fuckin' kike tries to fuck my mother? It's never gonna happen Murray, fuckin' forget it, not on my watch, not while I'm still in this family. I will fuckin' cut your Shylock nose off and stick it up your ass before I let that happen. Coming here and poison my family's dinner with your Jewish, Nigger-lovin', hippie bullshit. Fuck you! Fuck you! Yeah, walk out, asshole, fuckin' Cabala reading motherfucker. Get the fuck out of my house.

 

- Edward Norton in American History X

 

Alonzo Harris: Aww, you motherfuckers. Okay. Alright. I'm putting cases on all you bitches. Huh. You think you can do this shit... Jake. You think you can do this to me? You motherfuckers will be playing basketball in Pelican Bay when I get finished with you. Shoe program, nigga. 23 hour lockdown. I'm the man up in this piece. You'll never see the light of... who the fuck do you think you're fucking with? I'm the police, I run shit around here. You just live here. Yeah, that's right, you better walk away. Go on and walk away... 'cause I'm gonna' burn this motherfucker down. King Kong ain't got shit on me. That's right, that's right. Shit, I don't, fuck. I'm winning anyway, I'm winning... I'm winning any motherfucking way. I can't lose. Yeah, you can shoot me, but you can't kill me.

 

- Denzel Washington in Training Day

[Guest TheZsaszHorsemen]

Ugarte: You know, Rick, I have many a friend in Casablanca, but somehow, just because you despise me, you are the only one I trust.

 

Berger: We read five times that you were killed, in five different places.

Victor Laszlo: As you can see, it was true every single time.

 

Annina: Monsieur Rick, what kind of a man is Captain Renault?

Rick: Oh, he's just like any other man, only more so.

 

Ilsa: Play it once, Sam. For old times' sake.

Sam: [lying] I don't know what you mean, Miss Elsa.

Ilsa: Play it, Sam. Play "As Time Goes By."

Sam: [lying] Oh, I can't remember it, Miss Elsa. I'm a little rusty on it.

Ilsa: I'll hum it for you. Da-dy-da-dy-da-dum, da-dy-da-dee-da-dum...

[sam begins playing]

Ilsa: Sing it, Sam.

Sam: [singing] You must remember this / A kiss is still a kiss / A sigh is just a sigh / The fundamental things apply / As time goes by. / And when two lovers woo, / They still say, "I love you" / On that you can rely / No matter what the future brings-...

Rick: [rushing up] Sam, I thought I told you never to play-...

[sees Ilsa. Sam closes the piano and rolls it away.]

 

Ilsa: A franc for your thoughts.

Rick: In America they'd bring only a penny, and, huh, I guess that's about all they're worth.

Ilsa: Well, I'm willing to be overcharged. Tell me.

Rick: Well, I was wondering...

Ilsa: Yes?

Rick: Why I'm so lucky. Why I should find you waiting for me to come along.

Ilsa: Why there is no other man in my life?

Rick: Uh-huh.

Ilsa: That's easy: there was. And he's dead.

 

Captain Renault: What in heaven's name brought you to Casablanca?

Rick: My health. I came to Casablanca for the waters.

Captain Renault: The waters? What waters? We're in the desert.

Rick: I was misinformed.

 

Rick: I stick my neck out for nobody.

 

Major Strasser: What is your nationality?

Rick: I'm a drunkard.

Captain Renault: That makes Rick a citizen of the world.

 

Rick: Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.

 

Captain Renault: Major Strasser has been shot. Round up the usual suspects.

 

Rick: Last night we said a great many things. You said I was to do the thinking for both of us. Well, I've done a lot of it since then, and it all adds up to one thing: you're getting on that plane with Victor where you belong.

Ilsa: But, Richard, no, I... I...

Rick: Now, you've got to listen to me! You have any idea what you'd have to look forward to if you stayed here? Nine chances out of ten, we'd both wind up in a concentration camp. Isn't that true, Louie?

Captain Renault: I'm afraid Major Strasser would insist.

Ilsa: You're saying this only to make me go.

Rick: I'm saying it because it's true. Inside of us, we both know you belong with Victor. You're part of his work, the thing that keeps him going. If that plane leaves the ground and you're not with him, you'll regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life.

Ilsa: But what about us?

Rick: We'll always have Paris. We didn't have, we, we lost it until you came to Casablanca. We got it back last night.

Ilsa: When I said I would never leave you.

Rick: And you never will. But I've got a job to do, too. Where I'm going, you can't follow. What I've got to do, you can't be any part of. Ilsa, I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you'll understand that. Now, now... Here's looking at you kid.

 

Rick: Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

 

- Casablanca

[Guest thebigjig]

god I fucking love Casablanca... I think I'm going to watch it tomorrow after work for like the 12th time

[Guest Anglesault]

Scarlett: Rhett, Rhett... Rhett, if you go, where shall I go? What shall I do?

Rhett Butler: Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn

[SpikeFayeJettEdBebop 0]

Peter: Lawrence, you awake?

Lawrence: Yeah.

Peter: You wanna come over?

Lawrence: No, thanks, man. I don't want you fucking up my life, too.

 

Lumbergh-"Yeaaaaaaahhhhhh"

 

~Office Space

 

This one is also from the book, but it's in the movie, so I might as well include it.

 

"We each owe a death, there are no exceptions, I know that, but sometimes, oh God, the Green Mile is so long."

 

~Green Mile

 

And of course......

 

"Momma says life is like a box of chocolates....Never know what your gonna get"

 

~Forest Mother Fuckin Gump.

[Guest TheZsaszHorsemen]

god I fucking love Casablanca... I think I'm going to watch it tomorrow after work for like the 12th time

My respect for you multiplied by 12.