Oh my God. Whilst coldplay should be shipped into a South American prison for their aural assaults on my human rights, I can safely say I hate Keane for their own lack of substance, soul and originality, rather than for coldplay's. Coldplay also have a fucking child abuser for a frontman (naming a kid 'apple'?) so I will accept Keane cannot be held accountable for all the same reasons coldplay can. Yet. The singer's a child, and probably abuses himself, I'm not sure if that counts. But seriously, I do not understand how anyone over the age of 10 could be moved by something so transparent, I remember seeing them on Jools Holland about 6 months ago and thinking, surely they won't fool everyone into thinking they're good? That's the only talent they have. The Franz Ferdinand talent for sucking idiots up like dead skin in a dyson. Commendable in a sense, but that doesn't justify letting them into a studio. The lot of them can Fuck right off, like any twat who would shell out for their CD to keep them in shirts that make them look like they're from New York. God I'm angry. But I like music, you see.