A Happy Medium

Yeah. Last weekend we had a nice little shindig. I suppose down here in Texas we call carousing with friends shindigs. Anyways, we were busy rocking out to something, and my pretty big friend Drew decided to bump into me. For some odd reason, I proceeded to back body drop him. Apparently, it looked pretty badass. The funny thing is, he is the guy that always throws people around to show off how powerful he is. Now he realizes how much it hurts to have someone slam you to the ground. He is a heavy motherfucker. I woke up the next morning with a sore neck and back.

“I lost the match.” Griffon sits at a bar somewhere across the International Dateline, as “Godzilla” by the Blue Oyster Cult plays for the patrons. While nursing an overpriced glass of crown, Griffon slowly reaches over with a sore arm and snatches some dangerous mixed nuts from their walnut bowls. He quickly throws the nuts into his mouth and chews. An audible and painful sounding click comes from Arch as he slowly grinds up cashews. Archie again slowly reaches over to an ashtray and retrieves his half smoked cigarette. He takes a sharp inhale, and then lets out a large plume of smoke, then sets the cigarette back in the tray. He then starts to talk to himself like a raving lunatic. “A much smaller man crashed me through a table, and I couldn’t right myself.” A pair of baseball mitt sized hands stroke a tender forehead. “The best I could do was crawl like a syphilis infested whore towards that damned ladder.” “He shouldn’t have gotten to me like that. I should have been to have gotten to my feet, and pushed that ladder over. He should’ve broken his god damned neck on the native announcer’s table.” “Then everything would have been OK. We would have had a shot.” Griffon takes another drag from his nearby cigarette. “Manson and I destroyed Martial Law earlier, but then they’re able to waltz in to our damned title shot, and take what he and I earned. And now what? Indonesia. Indo-fucking-nesia?!” “I just had to take that flight to Hawaii, I guess.” Sweat starts to roll down his forehead. It’s a humid night. Not a good night to sleep and rest a hurting body. “Indonesia? I was a geography master back as a kid, but I have no clue WHERE that is. I mean, I could ask to go to Indonesia, wind up in Sweden, and I wouldn’t know the difference. And there … there is the place I go for redemption. There is the place I pummel that pompous piece of shit and get some gold!” Griffon finishes off his cigarette. He slams it down into the ashtray. The glass ‘tray rolls around a bit, surely making noise around the bar had the Blue Oyster Cult not been turned on at such a high volume. “I am going to tear his arms off and dual wield them. I will beat him to death with his own arms before the blood finishes rushing out of his own body. This is what he gets for beating my team in a six man. Another time where I could have made the save and didn’t.” “But this time, there is nothing to save. I have no responsibility for any soul in that arena. I can kill Jay Hawke in the middle of that ring. I can ground his face into a fine paste, and I don’t know whether or not Indonesia extradites to the United States.” Griffon quickly finishes off his drink, and slams it down into the counter. “I have nothing to lose,” Archibald says with a chuckle.

Ok, then Arch should be the lovable left fielder who can only hit homeruns.

Title shot number two...alrighty... Franchise versus Williams...crazy. Splendid card.

"Welcome back to SWF Lockdown from The Nippon Budokan in Tokyo, Japan!" shouts Longdogger Pete as the show returns to air. "We have Ejiro Fasaki versus Toxxic for the World Heavyweight Championship still to come, but up next is a TLC Match for the World Tag Team Championship!" "I may not like Martial Law, Wild and Dangerous or Griffon and Manson, but I'll definitely enjoy watching them beat the hell out of each other for W&D's belts," adds Suicide King. "Wildchild and Johnny Dangerous have to be the favorites due to being the champions and having been together for so long, but one shouldn't overlook Manson and Arch Griffon, who have been hotter than either of their opponents tonight. They've just come from nowhere into the tag picture, and as for Martial Law… well, the less said of them the better." "Yes, with all of Cortez and Landon's issues lately, along with having already failed in a bid against Wild and Dangerous, I can't see them walking out victorious. But this is what they wanted, so maybe they can put it all aside," King says, as we cut to the ring. "Ladies and Gentlemen," Funyon begins, "the following is a TLC Match for the SWF World Tag Team Championship! Introducing first…" The house lights dim as Arch Enemy's "We Will Rise" hits, complete with red strobes pulsing and flashing in time with the music as fog seeps onto the stage, when just as the lyrics begin... *BOOM!* A burst of pyro explodes from the stage and Manson emerges, immediately throwing up the horns to a massive pop from the Japanese crowd. Arch Griffon silently follows behind him. Both are determined and focused on the task at hand, as they bypass a group of ladders standing in the aisle and near the ring. "…at a combined weight of five-hundred and forty two pounds, the team of MAAAANNNSOONNN and ARCH GRRIIIIFFFOONNN!" Manson rolls in under the bottom rope with Griffon sliding in after, and both immediately go to their corner in the lower right portion of the ring for the start of the match. "Of course," says Pete, "as good as Manson and Griffon have been, they're not exactly suited to this type of match. They can dish out a lot of punishment, but matches like this have always been suited for speedier guys like Wild and Dangerous or Martial Law." "Where there's a will, Pete, there's a way. Their opponents, especially Wild and Dangerous, may very underestimate them. Meanwhile, Manson and Griffon are more resilient than the others, and have a driving need for success at all costs, as well as a nasty, vicious mean streak which could see itself surface here." "What a glowing recommendation, King." "Let's get this straight, I'm not fans of them, nor will I ever be. But facts are facts and at least for tonight, they're the better team." The lights in the arena drop out, leaving the crowd shrouded in darkness before loud shots of white pyro explode and the sounds of bombs and gunfire echo through the arena. The opening melodic chords and vocals of "Save Yourself" by Stabbing Westward fade up as spotlights shine on the entrance ramp, illuminating Maddix and Cortez as they head out. They stop at the head of the ramp, surveying the crowd. "I...CAN...NOT...SAAAVE...YOU! "I! CAN'T! EVEN! SAAAVE...MYYY...SELF!" "SO JUST SAAAVE YOURSELF!" ... "SSSAAAAAAAAAAAAVVVVVEEE!!!" "And their opponents, weighing in at a combined weight of four-hundred and forty six pounds… 'THE URBAN LEGEND' TOOOD COOORRRTEEZ and LLLAAAAANNDOONNN 'LA CUCARACHA' MMAAAAAADDDIIIIIX! MMMAAARRRRRTIIIAAAAALL LLLAAAAAAWW!" Maddix and Cortez head down the aisle, and from all accounts seem to be on the same page as they take a moment to check out one of the ladders in the aisle, then slap hands and slide into the ring. "And here's one of the teams Manson and Griffon beat during their run, as they took advantage of a tense, disorganized team and put Cortez down for the three," Pete says. "With Maddix nowhere to be found, I might add." Maddix and Cortez go face to face with Manson and Griffon, and they begin to talk trash to one another, as the lights remain dimmed, and smoke billows out onto the stage and "Fuel My Fire" by Prodigy hits! Green and turquoise strobes cut through the darkness, and moments later Wildchild and Johnny Dangerous walk out. "And finally, weighing in at a combined weight of four-hundred and thirty one pounds… The SWF World Tag Team Champions… WIIILLLDCHIIILD AND JOHNNY DAAAAANGEROUS!" W&D head down, slapping hands with the fans on their way down the aisle. Inside the ring, Funyon quickly escapes the ring, as Matthew Kivell gets in between the two teams already inside. Wildchild and Johnny near the ring, when suddenly, Cortez and Maddix slide out to meet them head on and the four explode in a flurry of fists. Kivell quickly signals for the bell.. ::DINGDING!:: Manson and Griffon look on when a flash of inspiration strikes Manson and he slaps Griffon on the chest, and the two head outside the ring. They rummage underneath the ring and come across a ladder, pulling it out and sliding it into the ring. Heading back in, they grab the ladder and set it up, then begin ascending toward the top. On the outside, Landon and Dangerous get the best of Wildchild and Cortez, knocking them down and then looking up into the ring. They each spot Manson and Griffon on the ladder making their way toward the top and slide in, quickly pushing the ladder over as Manson and Griffon get their fingertips on the belts hanging above. Manson and Arch collide with the mat, as Landon and Dangerous get the same idea and go for the ladder, with each man grabbing an end. "Arch and Manson try to pull a fast one on W&D and Martial Law as their bad blood takes precedent, but Maddix and Dangerous get to them just in time!" Pete shouts. Maddix and Dangerous continue fighting over the ladder, each trying to take control of it from the other, as Manson and Griffon get to their feet. Maddix and Johnny then glance at each other, nodding in unison, as they charge forward and ram the ladder in Manson and Griffon's face! Each of them takes a roll to the outside, as the two inside continue their fight. With each straining and tugging, Maddix suddenly lets go of the ladder, and it comes back to Johnny, striking him in the face! Johnny drops the ladder and clutches his jaw, holding on to the ropes, and Maddix charges forward, clotheslining him over the top! "Let's see if Maddix can take advantage here, now that everyone else seems indisposed at the moment," says Pete. Landon smirks slightly, as he grabs the ladder and sets it up underneath the belts. He begins to head up, as Wildchild scrambles up onto the apron. Grabbing hold of the top rope, WC pulls himself up and springs off the rope, launching himself at the ladder and knocking it over with a springboard missile dropkick! Maddix takes a fall to the mat as WC props up the ladder, but he doesn't even have a chance to climb as Cortez slides into the ring. With his back to The Bahama Bomber, and his back to Cortez, The Urban Legend reaches back and locks his hands around WC's chin, with the back of WC's head resting on his shoulder. Holding him there for a moment, Cortez then drops down to the mat, hitting the hangman's neckbreaker on WC! WC goes down to the mat, holding the back of his neck, as Cortez scrambles up the ladder. "And a flurry of activity, as WC knocks Landon down with the springboard dropkick, and Cortez puts a premature stop to WC!" On the outside, Manson grabs a steel chair resting against the ring barrier and slides back in. Then, just as Cortez thinks he has the belts, Manson takes a swing at Cortez, just smashing him across the back with the chair! Remarkably enough, Cortez is able to hang on to the ladder, prompting Manson to drop the chair on the mat. Then, backing up to the ladder and placing a foot on the bottom rung, Manson grabs Cortez by the waist and pulls him off the ladder, planting him with a powerbomb! "And Manson takes a chair to Cortez, then hits a sick powerbomb off the ladder!" screams Pete. "Just as I said, Manson and Griffon are vicious in the ring, and it's enhanced further by this type of environment." Cortez's body folds over, and he lays dead on the mat stomach first. Manson takes the time to rub it in, placing a thumb against his nostril and blowing a wad of snot down at the prone Cortez, then doing the same with the other nostril as the crowd gasps. He turns back around to hopefully head back up the ladder, but is knocked down by a Maddix Dropsault as Landon gets to his feet! Manson hits the mat, as Landon reaches over and grabs the chair. Maddix swings downward, looking for Manson's head, but The Raging Bull rolls out of the way just in time, as he heads outside. Maddix challenges Manson to get back inside the ring, standing in between him and Cortez, but Maddix unknowingly sets himself up for Arch Griffon, who grabs him by the waistband and the back of the neck and flings him over the top rope. Maddix drops the chair and Griffon kicks it out of the ring, as he looks down at Cortez, then Wildchild, back to Cortez and finally opting to head for WC who begins to get to his feet. "Maddix gets some retribution for his partner, who took a chair shot, a powerbomb off the ladder, and to add insult to injury, a snot rocket." "That was so disgusting and degrading… I love it. If only he did that more often, I might actually become a fan of his," King says. Inside the ring, Griffon brings the ladder down and takes it into his hands. Taking a step toward WC, Arch drives it into his abdomen, causing WC to double over and clutch his gut. With a malicious grin, Griffon then hammers WC across the back with the ladder, bringing WC down completely as he groans in agony. Arch then props up the ladder in the lower right corner, and after grabbing WC by the wrist, whips him into it. WC collides with the ladder as Griffon takes position in the opposite corner, while a number of feet away, Cortez gets up to his knees. Griffon breaks into a run, heading straight for WC and picking up speed, when just before Griffon hits him with the corner splash, Johnny Dangerous pops up and pulls WC out of harm's way! Griffon hits the ladder face first and collapses down on the mat, as Dangerous heads into the ring. Meanwhile, outside the ring, Manson takes advantage of Maddix's prone position, hitting him with a series of stomps as he lies against the ring steps. Manson next chokes Maddix with the sole of his boot for a moment, before heading back underneath the ring and emerging with the bull rope! Manson holds the bull rope in the air and swings it around, causing thousands of hands to rise in the air in unison, each of them showing off the horns. "Hey, this is a TLC Match… this shouldn't be allowed…" LDP mutters. "I think Manson is right on the verge of losing it. Are you or Kivell gonna be the one to stop him?" Indeed, inside the ring Kivell doesn't pay it much mind, shrugging his shoulders and allowing it to continue, as Manson wraps the rope around Maddix's neck, taking him down to his knees. Manson grips the bull rope tight, choking Maddix with all he has, as Cortez pulls himself up with the assistance of the ring ropes. Cortez then runs for the right hand side ropes, passing by Griffon, Wildchild and Dangerous, as Johnny helps Wildchild to his feet, and bounces off the ropes. Nearing Manson and Landon Maddix on the outside, Cortez jumps up onto the top rope, springs off and arches his body while spreading an arm out toward the side. Manson spots Cortez, but he's a second too late to do anything about it, as Todd nails him with the Shooting Star Flying Lariat! "And Todd breaks Manson's hold on Maddix with a spectacular move to the outside!" shouts Pete. "He and Maddix seem to be working together well for the first time in a while," says King. Manson releases his grip on the bull rope, allowing Maddix to go free, as he falls to the floor, with Cortez following after with a thud. With Manson and Cortez indisposed, and Maddix trying to gather himself on the outside, inside the ring WC and Johnny attend to Griffon, hitting him with kicks to the ribs and fists to the face. Confident they'll be able to take advantage, Johnny sets up the ladder in the same spot it was before, before he and WC each grab Griffon by the arm. They attempt to whip Griffon into the ladder once again, but Griffon holds his ground, causing the two to explode with more kicks to the stomach, doubling Griffon over. They again take hold of an arm and succeed in sending Griffon to the ladder again, and Griffon this time hits back first. With that, Johnny takes his cue and dives down onto all fours in front of Griffon, and WC takes off, stepping onto Johnny's back and crashing into Griffon with a splash against the ladder! "And there's Dangerous and Wildchild with some great tag team work as they take out Griffon!" Griffon goes down to the mat, while on the outside, Cortez helps Maddix to his feet. Back inside the ring, Wildchild and Dangerous lift the ladder back up and place it under the belts, and begin climbing up. Cortez picks the bull rope up from the ground and he and Maddix head back into the ring. Maddix grabs WC by the waistband, pulling him back down while Cortez, holding both ends of the rope, flips it up and catches Dangerous around the neck, and yanks him down with force. "Cortez using Manson's bull rope now, as he collars Dangerous around the neck and pulls him down to the mat hard!" "That's not his to use!" shouts Pete. "Well, this wouldn't be an issue had Manson not brought it out in the first place,” retorts King. Dangerous hits the mat on the back of his head, and as he holds his neck, Cortez takes it to him with kicks to the midsection. Meanwhile, Maddix knocks WC down with a forearm, and as he stands back up, Maddix calls Cortez over. Standing with their backs to the ladder, they shoot WC off the ropes, and then go low, driving WC into the ladder jaw first with a double drop toehold! WC rolls out of the way, and Cortez pushes Dangerous out of the ring, before both members of Martial Law head to the top. Meanwhile, Manson and Griffon converge on the outside of the ring, far camera side. They grab one of the tables lying against the barrier and set it up on the outside, then climb back into the ring and slowly topple over the ladder. A look of fright washes over Maddix's face as he misses the ropes completely and… "Oh, My GOD!" Pete shouts. *CRACK!* Falls through the table! The wood splinters in all directions, and Cortez is just as unlucky as he lands groin first on the top rope! Cortez straddles the rope, as Griffon comes in and shoves him down to the floor beside Maddix. Manson and Griffon then pick up the ladder and set it up again, and Manson tells Griffon to stand guard this time around, as he heads up. Manson gets to the second rung and tries to get to the next, but finds his progress halted by WC, who grabs onto his foot. Griffon is immediately on WC with stomps to the back, as Manson shakes free, but the distraction provides enough time for Dangerous to crawl over and push the ladder, but as Manson falls to the outside, he doesn't have a table to break his fall as he tumbles straight to the floor! "Manson and Griffon, cohesive as always in setting up the table and sending Maddix through, but WC and Dangerous wouldn't let this contest end yet." Manson and Maddix lay on the outside, out of it for the most part, as Griffon hammers WC across the back with a forearm, next turning toward Dangerous who hits a palm strike to Griffon's face. Griffon is sent back a step but shakes it off, however, WC crawls behind Griffon on his hands and knees, and Dangerous goes for another palm, and another, and Griffon trips over WC! WC and Dangerous quickly get on Griffon with furious stomps and kicks, then back away, allowing Griffon to get to his knees. They charge forward again, this time going low and striking Griffon with stereo dropkicks to the head! Griffon is knocked back to the mat, and both WC and Dangerous head to the upper right corner. They ascend to the top, and as Griffon pushes himself up to his feet, and Cortez rests against the apron watching on, W&D launch themselves at him, knocking him back down and out of the ring with a double shoulderblock! "Griffon is out of the ring," says Pete, "and now W&D have a chance to take advantage." Wild and Dangerous grab the ladder and prop it up, and begin climbing up once more, as Cortez heads over and grabs the discarded steel chair. He slides back into the ring and smacks Wildchild across the back as he nears the belts, then shoves the ladder over, causing WC and Dangerous to fall onto the right hand side ropes throat first! The Tag Team Champions clutch the throats in unison and fall to their stomach. The two then eventually roll out of the ring, leaving Todd in the ring alone with a fallen ladder and a steel chair in hand. He drops to one knee, but then uses the chair to drag himself back to his feet. He drops the chair, and turns his attention to the ladder. He carefully picks up the ladder and places it underneath the belts. “Todd Cortez is the only man inside of the ring, King!” yells Pete. “Could the underdogs in this fight pull off the upset?” “But Manson is approaching him from behind,” says King. The crowd roars as Cortez reaches the top of the ladder in the middle of the ring. However, returning from the outside is the groggy Manson. The Raging Bull climbs up the same side of the ladder Todd uses. Manson climbs a few steps below Cortez, and wraps his arms around his waist. Cortez turns his attention back to Manson, and attempts to kick him away, but Manson is steadfast. The Raging Bull slams a few forearms into Cortez’s back. Todd grimaces, but keeps trying to shake off Manson. Meanwhile, alone on the side of the ring, Griffon is back to his feet. Judging the gridlock inside of the ring, he climbs back in. He then quickly ascends the opposite side of the ladder. With a rush of energy, he reaches the top, and then leans back. The big man leans back on the ladder, and keeps his balance with his left hand, while holding back his right arm. Todd doesn’t notice Griffon, as he continues fighting off Manson. Finally, Todd turns around, right into a clothesline to the face. Cortez’s head rocks back, along with the ladder. Manson, his arms around Todd’s waist, proceeds to guide him off of the ladder with a German Suplex! Cortez, Manson, the ladder, and Archie all fall down to the mat, as ladders weren’t made for this tomfoolery. Todd lands hard on his shoulders and neck. His body then recoils out of the ring, and falls beside the former World Champion, Landon Maddix, who is just arriving to his feet. “A signature move from Manson and Griffon! The lariat and German Suplex takes Cortez off of the ladder and to the floor,” says Pete. “The tension just put on his neck, has had to have made his partner jealous! Only Landon can have the injured neck!” mocks King. Arch Griffon and Manson both lie in the ring, fatigued and sore. Martial Law founder Landon Maddix then rolls back in to the ring, angry after being thrown through that damned table by Manson and Griffon. A look of pure menace evolves into his face. Landon, while rubbing his sore neck, reaches down and picks up Manson’s neglected bull rope, and approaches Griffon, who starts to climb back to his feet. Maddix, rope in hand, wind up his right leg, and bursts forward with a kick right into Griffon’s face. A loud smacking fills the arena, as Archie falls to his stomach. Maddix takes the rope, and without much resistance, ties it around Griffon’s left ankle with a complex knot he most certainly learned as a boy scout in South Dakota. Manson still lies in the ring, still feeling the effects of his fall to the outside. Landon grabs the other end of the rope, and then slowly drags Griffon to a nearby corner, just mere feet away Griffon’s partner, Manson. “What is Landon up to?” asks Pete. “Is he tying Griffon’s leg to the bottom rope?” “It sure looks like it. He has to do something to neutralize the power Griffon brings to the ring,” says King. Landon, still without much resistance, ties another similar knot into the bottom rope. He makes sure to tie it without much slack for Griffon to wiggle around with. Landon gives a cocky smile over to Manson, who is still downed into the corner. He then turns back Archie, who has finally come to. Griffon does a sit up, and sees his leg has been tied. He has no wiggle room. All he can do is kick his right leg up at Maddix. La Cucaracha dodges the wild attempt from Griffon, and then steps around to the Griffon’s head. He proceeds to hit a few stomps into Arch’s head. Archie gets his arms up, but it isn’t enough. Landon then turns his attention back to the tied up leg. Maddix starts to drop boots into Griffon’s exposed left knee. Arch groans with each shot to the knee. Maddix then changes gears, and drops a few elbows into the knee. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees a dented up steel chair across the ring. He quickly makes his way over to it, and picks it up. “Just what is Landon planning on doing with that chair?!” yells Pete. “He’s about to neutralize Griffon, and for good,” says King. Meanwhile, on the outside of the ring, and separated from everyone else, Wild and Dangerous start to come to. Both of them getting their air back. Manson to, is on the outside, and slowly, he reaches down underneath the ring. He rises to his feet as he brings out a ladder just as long as the ring. The fans are in awe as Manson brings out the largest ladder they have seen. He lines it up with Landon, and slowly eases it into the ring. About three feet remain outside of the ring. Inside, the ladder is right behind Landon, who is busy teasing Griffon with the steel chair he has acquired. The Raging Bull measure Maddix, and just before the Cruiserweight can come down with the steel chair, Manson brings the ladder back, and shoves forward. Maddix get tripped, and falls onto the ladder with a thud. The chair, meanwhile, flies to the outside of the ring, and narrowly avoids striking the fallen Cortez. Maddix lies on the ladder, and arches his body, grabbing his ankle in pain. Manson stands next the ladder, leaps into the air, and drops a legdrop across Landon’s throat. Maddix rolls off of the ladder and into the middle of the ring. Manson then proceeds to detach Griffon from his bull rope. “That was a very complex knot that Manson just disassembled,” says Pete. ‘I suppose Colorado boy scouts are more knowledgeable with knots than those from South Dakota,” says King. “Do we know if these two men ever entered the scouts?” asks Pete. “No,” replies King. Finally, Archie gets free from the ropes. He is slow to get to his feet, however. Meanwhile, Manson throws the bull rope down to the mat and heads back over to the extra tall ladder. After taking a look down at the coughing Maddix, The Raging Bull picks up the ladder, and kicks out the legs, making it vertical. It rises high up above the ring. The top rung is in equal height to the tag belts swaying above the ring. The steps point towards the corner it is in, and to the middle of the ring. Behind Manson, on the other side of the ring, two figures slide in under the bottom rope. The Tag Team Champions charge into the ring, rejuvenated. Dangerous nudges Landon out of the way of the middle of the ring, and races to the standard sized ladder that sits next to the erect super ladder. Wildchild meanwhile, advanced towards Manson, who still is facing the big ladder. WC grabs the back of Manson’s head, and rams it into a step of the ladder as he charges by. The Raging Bull falls to the canvas, holding onto his face. “And Wild & Dangerous are back in this match. Griffon is down! Cortez is down! Manson is down! Maddix is down! Wildchild and Johnny Dangerous are in control of this match!” exclaims Pete. “The Champions have waited for the perfect time to make their comeback!” says King. Back in the ring, Johnny props a ladder in the middle of the ring. Wildchild, having subdued Manson, quickly gets over to the ladder. Cortez, on the outside next to the gargantuan ladder, starts to come to after being dropped on his head. He rests on the apron. Wildchild then starts to climb the ladder at an intermediate pace. Below him stands Johnny Dangerous. He gets into a defensive stance, and awaits possible attackers. “Brilliant move by Wild and Dangerous! Wildchild climbs, while Johnny defends the ladder and his partner,” says Pete. First to get to his feet is big Archibald. He struggles to the middle of the ring. He goes for a quick clothesline on Johnny, but The Barracuda easily ducks the out of control Griffon. Dangerous, behind Griffon, spins around and hits Arch in the side of the head with a Spinning Back Fist. Griffon loses his equilibrium, and falls to the mat. Next to his feet is La Cucaracha. He too charges Johnny. Dangerous sees Maddix coming, however. Landon stops on a dime, and throws a quick punch at Dangerous. Johnny blocks the right hand with his left hand, and then unloads on Maddix with a Shotei Palmstrike to the sternum! Landon drops to knee. Johnny then clinches on Maddix, and starts to drive knee after knee into Landon’s face. Dangerous finally lets go, and Maddix crumbles to the mat, his face showing the first signs of a series of bruises. By now, Todd Cortez has climbed up onto the apron, and leans on the nearby ring post behind the gigantic ladder. With the size of the ladder, and Todd’s body size, he is blocked from view from Johnny during his path of destruction. The Raging Bull is next to his feet. Dangerous quickly springs forward, gallops, and slams Dangerous right in the jaw with a Johnny Kick! Manson quickly falls to his back. Dangerous looks back into the middle of the ring, and sees that Wildchild now only has to collect the belts. The golden leather straps dangle from side to side in front of Wildchild. Finally, WC makes a decision and just leaps up onto the hard rubber ring that holds up the belts. Johnny sees this, and quickly picks up the ladder, and tosses it out of the ring, and towards the entrance ramp. “W and D are only seconds away from retaining the tag team titles!” screams Pete. “Very good idea by Dangerous to move the ladder out of the ring. It saves Wildchild from injuring if he should fall,” notes King. “Where did Cortez come from?!” screams Pete. The Japanese crowd rises to life, as they see Todd Cortez ascending the gigantic ladder in the corner. Dangerous doesn’t see this, as he is preoccupied with checking off the wrestlers he sees down in the ring. He stares off into the corner in which they lay. Finally, he looks over to the large ladder, and then stares at the top of the ladder. A look of panic spreads across his face as he sees the one man he didn’t take out stand on the top rung of his ladder! Cortez puts his arms out to his sides, keeping his balance. Meanwhile, Wildchild feverishly works at getting the belts undone from their harness. Dangerous rushes toward the huge ladder, but it is too late. Todd leaps high of the ladder and right towards Wildchild. Todd goes horizontal, and comes right down into WC’s midsection. Wildchild falls, as Cortez takes him down with a flying cross body! *THUDTHUD* The crowd groans as both men fall to the mat together as one. Cortez lands on top of WC’s chest, squeezing the air from The Bahama Bomber’s body! “After that, I don’t think Wildchild or Todd Cortez will ever the same!” yells Pete. “You can tell that Cortez is the valuable of his team with Landon Maddix. Cortez takes more calculated risks than does Landon,” says King. “Now Johnny Dangerous is left to his lonesome.” Todd Cortez and Wildchild lie in a motionless heap in the middle of the ring, while Griffon is still down. Maddix is down and exhausted, as well. The only man showing the ability to get to his feet is Manson. Dangerous, with nothing better to do, marches over to the remaining ladder in the corner, and picks it up. He places it directly underneath the belts. The Raging Bull now gets back to his feet, and he approaches the ladder, as Johnny starts to make his way up. Manson stumbles to the opposite side of the ladder, and starts to climb with Johnny! “This may be it, King! Whoever can win this battle may walk out of here with the belts,” says Pete. “The fresh man here is definitely Johnny Dangerous. Manson is hanging in there, but the bastard can’t have much left in the tank,” says King. Dangerous is ahead of Manson, as they scale the humungous ladder. Dangerous reaches the top first. He steadies himself, and reaches up for the belts. Before Dangerous can get his hands on the belts, he is knocked back by a wild right hand by Manson that hits Johnny in the chest. Dangerous wheezes and backs off. The Raging Bull now takes the time to climb to Johnny’s level. Manson is then dazed, as Johnny comes back with a quick chop to the throat. Dangerous takes another step up on the ladder, and reaches for the belts. He gets his hands around one of the belts, but then Manson reaches up and captures Dangerous by the back of the head, and then slams Johnny face first into the top of the ladder. The Raging Bull keeps slamming Dangerous’ head over and over into the steel. Dangerous stumbles down a step. Manson then positions himself on the ladder so that his feet are pointing to the side, out into the crowd. The Raging Bull grabs Johnny around the back of the neck, and drags him into an equal position on the ladder. “Oh no! Oh no! OH NO!” says Pete. *SLAM* Manson takes Johnny off of the top of the ladder with Consequences! The thousands of fans in attendance immediately jump to their feet as one and start to clap in unison. The ladder, amazingly, does not fall over. Meanwhile, Manson and Dangerous are both down in the middle of the ring. Dangerous looks to be in much dire straits, as his face was smashing into the mat from a ladder. All six men still lie in the ring, with Mathew Kivell just looking on from the outside. The first man to get back to his feet is Landon Maddix, who gets a small jeer from the crowd who don’t understand his cocky, cheating ways. He shakes cobwebs out his head, and slides outside the ring. He quickly combs through the scattered bits of table to find the steel chair, which has made back the money that was paid to purchase. After grabbing the chair, The Cockroach climbs back into the ring. In his own separate corner, Arch Griffon climbs to his feet, still rubbing the side of his head after Johnny’s martial arts display. “Maddix with that steel chair is looking to do even more damage to Arch Griffon,” says Pete. “Go for the knee, Landon! Finish what you start for a change!” says King, with his unusual brand of motivation. Landon advances on Griffon, and instead of going after his knee, he grabs the chair by the seat and legs, and thrusts the head of the chair into Griffon’s ribs. Arch drops to a knee. Maddix drops the chair in front of him, then quickly grabs Archie by the back of the head, guides him to his feet, and falls to his back. Maddix slams Griffon face first into the chair with The Complete Shot! Griffon rolls away, his mind drifting off into another world. “Maddix just took down Griffon into that steel chair. All he has to do is climb the ladder!” screams Pete. “Finally, an end to this carnage!” “However, is Landon going to let this match end like this?” asks King. Maddix looks up at the ladder, and then down at Griffin. He grabs the larger, and takes it into a nearby corner, steps facing the turnbuckles and the middle of the ring. Landon starts to climb up the ladder, his back facing the turnbuckle, as he backpedals up the ladder. Archie stays downed on the mat, a trickle of blood coming from his forehead and spilling to the canvas. Maddix keeps backpedaling up the ladder, until he reaches the second to last step. Landon looks out into the audience, and brings a thumb to the side of his neck, and then drags it across, signaling for his Swandive Headbutt. “Is Landon insane?! He just passed up the tag titles in order to put his neck on the line, literally,” says Pete. “Maddix whines and complains about his neck, and then he’s about to do this? I have no pity for this pathetic kid!” yells King. Maddix takes a moment to gather himself. Maddix then leaps off of the ladder, and flies across the ring over to Griffon. The distance is nothing for Landon, as the ladder helps him quite a bit. Landon comes crashing to the mat. His forehead drives right into Griffon’s forehead! The crowd explodes as Landon’s hits his beautiful move. Griffon grabs his forehead, and simply rolls to his side. Meanwhile, Landon Maddix has definitely made a big mistake. He looks to have taken five years off of his career as he snakes around on the mat, holding his neck! “Bless that man’s heart. He kills himself to entertain the world! But he may have just thrown away his chance at Tag Team gold,” says the Longdogger. “I will not bless his heart. He doesn’t know how to finish out! To be successful, you need to know when to put the entertainment aspect of your job behind you, and do what’s best for number one,” says King. O the outside, Todd Cortez finally climbs back to his feet. He had rolled out soon after Landon started climbing. Cortez rests against the crowd barrier for a moment, before he starts to rummage underneath the ring. He pulls out a fresh table, and sets it up away from the ring and next to the fan barrier. Todd advances forwards again, and grabs Wildchild, who still lies in a heap close to the ropes. Cortez grabs Wildchild, and drags him outside. Todd floats behind the groggy Wildchild, and puts on a rear waistlock. Their backs are to the table. Cortez puts his head underneath one of WC’s armpits, and then lifts the Tag Team Champion. Todd leans back and lets Wildchild spill over. WC goes through the table, as Cortez nails him with a Backdrop Driver! The two men lie sprawled out on the floor, debris all around them. A happy fans holds a piece of the table, and screams wildly into the camera held by one of the SWF’s supreme cameramen “Todd Cortez is on a mission tonight. He is taking Wildchild out of this match, without nearly breaking his neck trying to do,” says Pete. “But lifting that man in the state that Todd is in may have taking a lot out of him,” says King. “This match has been going on a long time, and fatigue is really starting to set in.” Back in the ring, Landon climbs to his feet. His right hand is latched on the back of his neck, trying to rub out pain. He stumbles for a moment, than makes his way to the ladder he placed in the corner. Maddix grabs the ladder, and places it into the middle of the ring. Archie Griffon too rises to his feet, to the surprise of everyone. “How does Griffon get up after that headbutt?” asks Pete in a panicky voice. “I believe Landon may have not put everything into that headbutt,” says King. “He may held up at the last minute to save himself even more neck troubles.” Griffon limps over to the steel chair that put him down earlier and picks it up. He takes the dented chair over with him to the ladder Landon is starting to climb. Archie starts to slowly climb the ladder. Landon is only a couple of rungs ahead of Griffon. Arch’s progress is slow, as he is carrying the steel chair up with him. Todd Cortez, fresh from dropping Wildchild on his head, climbs back into the ring. He stands behind Griffon, who gets higher and higher up on the ladder. Maddix, Archie’s blood smudged on his head, gets within a few feet of the belts. Griffon, suddenly, cannot climb any higher, his head now level with the Championship belts. Todd Cortez has grabbed his legs and will not let him go! Maddix sees this, and leaps off of the ladder, and grabs the belt ring. The force causes him to swing back and forth, away and towards big Archie. Griffon, seeing he can’t go anywhere, puts the chair in both his hands, and holds it back. “Even with Todd’s great teamwork, Maddix is a sitting duck!” screams Pete. “Actually, that would be swinging duck, Pete,” retorts King. Griffon waits for Maddix to come towards him once more. Maddix sees the chair coming, but cannot react in time. *CRACK!* Griffon swings left handed, and avoiding the ladder, hits in unprotected Landon Maddix right in the jaw. Maddix goes limp, loses his grip, and spins down into the canvas like a fighter jet that just lost a wing. Maddix falls to his back on the mat. Blood starts to gush from Landon’s forehead, as he lies on the mat. He is knocked unconscious. “Todd Cortez was powerless to stop that,” says Pete. “On the bright side, if Landon dies, Cortez gets Meagan all to himself,” jokes King. “That’s terrible, King. There is now way that Cortez would let that happen to a friend if he could stop it,” says Pete. A small smile spreads across the bloody face of Griffon, as he looks down at Maddix, and the large dent that has been left in the bent and twisted chair. Cortez is in shock too. He looks over to his partner, and feels anger billowing up inside of him. He finally goes between Griffon’s legs with a fist, and in an uncharacteristic move from Todd, he gives Griffon a low blow. Arch drops the chair down next to Landon, and falls back to the mat. He lands hard, and immediately clutches his midsection. Cortez, still at the bottom of the ladder, takes a long look at Landon’s downed body, then with a shake of the head, slowly begins to climb the ladder. Meanwhile, during this entire ruckus, The Raging Bull has climbed back to his feet, and has started to quickly climb up the ladder during all of the drama. Todd snaps out of it, and sees Manson climbing towards the belts. Todd starts to follow Manson. “Manson was playing possum!” yells Pete. “Todd had better forget about Landon, or else Manson is going to beat him to the belts,” says King. Manson gets up to the top of the ladder, and then he jumps to the ring holding the belts! Cortez, a few steps behind, jumps from the ladder, and latches his arms to Manson’s waist! Manson and Todd Cortez hang above the ring, a fall from either of them perhaps ending the match. Manson tries to shake Cortez off of him, and doing so, bumps into the ladder and knocks it over. It falls underneath them. Finally, The Raging Bull pulls his legs up sharply, showing incredible core strength. Cortez’s arms slip from The Raging Bull’s waist, and he falls back to the ring. Todd falls stomach first, and as he lands, his head slams into the ladder. Clutching his cranium, Cortez rolls away, before he slips into unconsciousness! “Manson has just shaken away Todd Cortez!” yells Pete. “Can The Raging Bull hold on and capture the titles?” “Let us not forget how Todd landed. He landed right on top of the ladder, and smacked his head!” observes King. As Manson hangs from the belts, he gets an idea. He swings his legs up, and then turning upside down, he latches his legs on the cable holding the ring up! “Look at Manson! That’s the way you do it! You give yourself the best chance to avoid failure,” yells King. “If he can stay up there like that, there’s no way anyone can attack him with that gigantic ladder,” says Pete. Down in the ring, both Arch Griffon and Johnny Dangerous are coming to. Griffon sucks some wind back into his system, while Johnny shakes out the cobwebs. Todd and Landon both lie motionless on the canvas, while Wildchild is still down in a heap outside. Johnny Dangerous is first to his feet, and after seeing Manson carefully working away at the belts high above him, he goes after the fallen ladder in the middle of the ring. The Barracuda gets to the ladder first, and slowly starts to pick it up. The ladder falls however, as the bloody Archibald Griffon grabs Johnny by the shoulder and turns him around. Griffon grabs Dangerous by the left wrist, and pulls him forward. Archie hits Johnny square in the jaw with a short armed clothesline. However, Arch is not done. He pulls The Barracuda to his feet. Johnny desperately tries to break free and get to the ladder, but he’s trap. Griffon hits another strong clothesline, and holds on to the arm afterwards. “Archie Griffon is keeping Dangerous away from the ladder, and Manson, by locking on his Griffon’s Grasp! This is a great strategy by Griffon and Manson. Although Johnny Dangerous must feel like he’s in Purgatory. There’s nowhere to go, and nothing to do,” says Longdogger. “This is a brilliant strategy. If only Wildchild could get up, Wild and Dangerous could stop Manson and Griffon,” says King. “However, with each extra second Manson gains, he’s one step closer to getting those belts down!” Johnny, feeling the effects of the clotheslines now, flails an arm towards the ladder as he gets picked back up to his feet by Arch. Griffon lets another clothesline go. This is a much stronger one that nearly takes Dangerous’ head off. Griffon holds on and gets Johnny back to his feet. Dangerous, with his vision blurring, claws at Manson above him, before he turns his head back into a murderous clothesline! Griffon lands go after this one, and lets Johnny stay down. After Griffin shakes some pain out of his right arm, he grabs a hold of the remaining ladder in the ring, and throws it outside with the smaller ladder. Griffon then grabs the discarded bull rope in a nearby corner, and then exits the ring. He places the two ladders on top of each other, and then ties a quick knot around his leg. He then ties the other end of the rope around the ladders. Meanwhile, Johnny slowly gets back to his feet, as does Wildchild. “Griffon has just learned the way of strategy. He has used the bull rope to ties himself to the only ways that Wild and Dangerous can get to Manson. Johnny and Wildchild have no shot!” exclaims Pete. “Wildchild and Dangerous can only pick their poison now!” says King. “They can either attack Griffon and take the ladders, which would take way too much time, or they can make very pointless last ditch effort to knock Manson down!” Johnny finally gets back to his feet, his head spinning, and looks down for the ladder, which is gone. He looks around for it, until he sees the hulking Griffon outside of the ring, tied to both ladders. Wildchild slowly rolls back in to the ring. Now, both Wild & Dangerous and Martial Law are in the ring. Martial Law are still unconscious, Wildchild is crawling to his feet, and Dangerous has no solution. In a last ditch effort, Dangerous grabs a nearby steel chair, and throws it up at Manson. The strength of the throw dies as it reaches Manson. The chair bounces off of The Raging Bull, and falls back to the canvas. Manson easily absorbs the blow. The Raging Bull, after a full minute suspended upside down, finally starts to undo the belts from the cable. Wildchild remains on the canvas, exhausted and not able to stand. Meanwhile, Johnny looks on, powerless. “Also, Manson had better hurry up and finish with the belts before he passes out from the blood rushing to his head,” says Pete. “The only way they could reach Manson was with that huge ladder, as the small ladder doesn’t go high enough to catch The Raging Bull in a position like that,” says King. Griffon looks on from the entrance way, pumping his fists as Manson finally starts to loosen the belts. The fans in attendance roar as Manson finally takes down the belts! *THUD!* The first belt drops. It drops right in front of the exhausted Wildchild, who still tries to get back to his feet. *THUD!* The second belt drops. Johnny Dangerous watches property that was once his fall brilliantly to the canvas, shimmering magnificently. It finally lands in front of his feet. “RRRRRRAAAAHHHHH!” Kivell signals for the bell. *DINGDINGDING!* “Griffon and Manson have climbed the mountain and are the new Tag Team Champions!” hollers Pete. “Your winners of the match…..AND NEEWW SWF WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS…. MAAAANNNSOONNN and ARCH GRRIIIIFFFOONNN!” “We Will Rise” by Arch Enemy hits on the PA system, the fans still going crazy. Manson finally lets his legs go, and winds up hanging from the belt loop with his arms. He takes his left arm off the cable and looks out into the audience. He gives the fans the metal horns, drawing a huge pop from the sold out crowd. Arch Griffon unties himself from the ladders and immediately high fives a nearby fan. “What a match. What a reign that Wild and Dangerous had! What a new era we have in store for us!” yells Pete. “But the fun doesn’t stop here! Up next, Toxxic puts his World Championship on the line against an angry Ejiro Fasaki!” <FADE OUT>

Arch Griffon would have to be catcher, because he's too big to play anywhere else.

It's been twelve hours, and we don't have Tag Team Champions.

It's going to be a lot of words to digest

Damn....all of us showed up. Awesome.

Yeah, that was one hell of a grind to get something in. May the best team win, WC.

This promo is just right.

This situation goes like this...Bro's before Ho's... Its a time honored principle.. Edge disobeyed this priniciple... Edge is no Bro. So fuck Edge. And with Hardy going crazy...meh, he needs to vent somehow...this is much better than driving his corvette off of a bridge.

Maybe, Muzz....but it does lead in to the main event pretty well.

The cigarette makes the Brittney Spears and pink shoelaces thing work.

Also, maybe there should be a new marker for the shows. Ejiro and I have both had to wait too long for a match to be posted. In his case, uber fucking long.

G had an interesting taste in music. I remember ELM beat me in an IGNWF World Championship tournament. He just wanted it more than anyone else.

Alright...I now expect the best match of this year to go down tomorrow night. INTENSITY~! Toxx's evil act bringing about a domino effect.

NBC probably sees it as a good show, crazy, I know. I think the problem with America is that people think hospital shows must be serious. They don't want Sugarhill Gang references starting off a show that deals with people going into septic shock. Meh, I just hope that everything ties up into a Series Finale. I mean, you can't make 100 episodes and then have it canned to make room for Fear Factor: Couple Colonics.

An accurant representation of that old SWF internet show...

Nothing like a good starwipe, Andrea. I will do something once an idea strikes.

March 13th? Also, the website needs an update. Griffon: The guy who sits in his tower.

MAIN EVENT SWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP Wildchild (SWF Cruiserweight Champion) v. Insane Luchadore (SWF Hardcore Champion) IL gets double gold. HARDCORE MATCH SPECIAL GUEST COMMENTATOR: Toxxic, the SWF World Heavyweight Champion Ejiro Fasaki v. "Maniac" Bryan Rodgers Ejiro HOUSE RULES MATCH RUSSELL CROWE'S FAVORITE MATCH Lil' Buck v. Jay Hawke (SWF International Champion) Buck SINGLES MATCH "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins v. "The Franchise" Mak Francis Spike HARDCORE TWO ON TWO MATCH SPECIAL GUEST ANNOUNCER: Johnny Dangerous, one-half of the SWF Tag Team Champions! Arch Griffon and Manson v. Martin Hunt and Danny Dagda Steven Seagal with a quaddruple neck snap at 0:00:10.

What's funny is the fact that Thoth called you Mike Van Siclen...I could see MVS or something like that...but Mike Van Siclen is just too funny. And he's just going to have to wait for me to slip up on AIM.

Yeah. I thought our match came out well. We had a pretty good hot tag sequence, and played off of Ejiro's passion to be a rule abiding guy. But alas, back to the drawing board.

Well...I'm sure as hell not handling two characters at once.