The father is none other than...Essa Rios
Barring that, I only know of one man who's sperm is powerfull enough to defeat that of two different other peoples' at the same time:
don't get your hopes up on them getting nailed in the face. Even if they do, WWE'll probably be using soft Nerf-style balls instead of the painful-type ones.
And yeah, give Football-Brock the 911 role
Proctor: All right, this is for the silver medal. Spell "forensics".
Child: Ah fuck that! Why should I fucking have to spell "forensics"?
Other children: Yeah!
Child: Here you go. S-U-C-K-M-Y-A-S-S: Forensics.
Fuck yeah!